Last Friday, KFOR posted a story on its Facebook page about how President Obama would be using the Lincoln Bible for today’s unofficial inauguration ceremony. It’s the same Lincoln Bible that Obama used during his first inauguration four years ago.
Here’s a screenshot of their post:
So you may be asking yourself, “Why would an Oklahoma City news channel post something like this to its Facebook wall? What’s the news value? Who cares?”
The answer to that is one word: Derplahomans.
You know who Derplahomans are. They’re those ignorant people who think Obama is Muslim communist dictator, want prayer (and guns) allowed in public schools, and think gay people are the biggest threat to the country. They live around you, work around you, and vote for all the bat-shit crazies that run this state.
Anyway, when KFOR posted the Lincoln Bible story, they did so with one intention: to rally the Derplahomans and generate “conversation” on the station’s Facebook page. And boy did it work. As of this writing, there were nearly 482 comments on the post. I’d say 70% were posted by Derplahomans who oppose the president, 15% by normal people who oppose the president, and 15% of people who support the president. I spent my Sunday afternoon highlighting the 25 best posts by the derps in that 70%. All of these posts are real, and I assume most were written by people from their Cricket wireless phone while waiting in line for cigarettes at Wal-Mart.
Anyway, let’s start with the crazies who would like to see our president assassinated.
If you’re going to suggest that a guy be assassinated, at least have the common courtesy to spell ‘assassinated’ correctly.
Yeah, I guess the rule above also goes for people who “pray” for assassination. Which by the way, is such a positive, Christian thing to do.
These were the only two people who openly suggested – or prayed – that our president be shot and killed. Other people went the classy route and suggested he view a play at Ford’s Theater instead:
Last Tuesday, the State House of Representatives kicked off the first regular session of the 54th Oklahoma Legislature, or as we like to call it, the annual gathering of wackos, idiots and nut jobs. It’s the time of year where stupid bills are introduced, stupid bills are passed, and stupid Sally Kern offends someone by speaking. Basically, it’s the TLO version of the holiday shopping season. The period in time where we get enough traffic and hits to keep us up and running for the rest of the year.
Last year’s legislative session will be hard to top. We had bills and amendments introduced that would have banned fetuses in the food supply, made semen sacred, and given fertilized fetuses the right to own firearms. When they weren’t introducing bizarre legislation, the crazies were doing things like fighting on the floor, inviting Baptist preachers to talk about science and the constitution, and complaining about the “edginess” of the OETA Movie Club.
Fortunately for us, some State Representatives and Senators are making sure that 2013 will also be an entertaining year, too. They are hard at work filing legislation and amendments to pacify the church leaders, Chamber of Commerce executives and farmers who helped get them elected. One of these legislators is State Senator (and amateur scientist) Josh Brecheen. He’s introduced SB 105. The legislation, if passed, would give young naive couples the option to enter into a “Covenant Marriage” when getting married.
What’s a covenant marriage? Here’s a description from the bill:
Say what you want about Hobby Lobby’s fledgling contraception lawsuit against the government, at least the company’s co-founder, David Green, is putting his money where his misguided mouth is…kind of.
After Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor denied the company’s request for an injunction while their silly lawsuit is pending, the company announced they would rather pay $1.3-million in daily fines than provide employees with access to the morning-after pill as part of its health-care plan.
However, it looks like they’ve figured out a temporary loophole to prevent paying the hefty penalty. Via NewsOK:
Hobby Lobby Stores, Inc. will shift the beginning of its employee health plan to temporarily stave off potentially millions of dollars in fines while its legal challenge to a federal mandate on emergency contraceptives proceeds.
The shift will allow Hobby Lobby to dodge penalties for several months that are part of the Affordable Care Act, the company said Thursday. The health care law requires the company to cover the cost of the emergency contraceptives for its employees or face up to $1.3 million in fines each day it fails to comply with the law, beginning at the inception of their insurance plan year.
A representative for Hobby Lobby declined to elaborate on how long the company will have before its new plan year will start — when the federal mandate on emergency contraceptives coverage would kick in.
“Hobby Lobby does not provide coverage for abortion-inducing drugs in its health care plan,” corporate general counsel Peter Dobelbower said in a statement.
“Hobby Lobby will continue to vigorously defend its religious liberty and oppose the mandate and any penalties,” he said.
Company founder and CEO David Green and his family consider some types of emergency contraceptives, including the morning-after and week-after pill, a type of abortion.
Covering the contraceptives through the company’s employee health plan would conflict with the Green family’s constitutionally protected religious beliefs, attorneys for the company have argued.
Yeah, that’s cute and courageous and everything, but there’s only one problem. Those abortion inducing drugs they’re referring to really don’t exist. From the Princeton website:
This past Tuesday, the Oklahoma City Council held one of its most highly anticipated, controversial, and lengthy meetings in some time. Towards the end of the nearly three-hour session, a couple of citizens came to the podium to voice a complaint.
And then this happened:
Yesterday we counted down our first 12 predictions for the year. Here’s the second half of the list. There’s a good chance some of them will come true.
13. Christina Fallin DOES NOT get married this year.
(Remember, these are supposed to be bold predictions. The rest are after jump. And yes, that’s some girl with pink hair whose name rhymes with Latina Howlin’ partying at Saints in the Plaza District. Thank you, Ogle Mole Network.)
14. Meg Alexander openly admits that she has been trying to “Single White Female” Joleen Chaney for over a year now.
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