Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Archive for Oklahoma Politics – Page 28

It’s official. Mary Fallin is totally losing her mind.

I guess it’s time for Christina Fallin’s straight friends to write an angry letter to Governor Mary Fallin, too.

If you remember correctly, our State’s Chief Executive Derplahoman announced back in September that the Oklahoma National Guard will no longer process benefit requests for same-sex couples. She made the decision because the will of the Oklahoma people is to apparently defy federal law and treat homosexual servicemen and women who are willing to serve and protect this country as second-class citizens.

Well, now she’s taking things to a whole new crazy and embarrassing Sally Kernesque level. Check out this Randy Krehbiel story that published a few weeks ago in The Tulsa World. Governor Mary has instructed state-owned National Guard facilities to stop processing benefit requests for everyone:

Oklahoma will stop processing all military spouse benefit applications at state-owned National Guard facilities rather than begin accepting the applications from same-sex spouses, Gov. Mary Fallin said Wednesday.

Instead, military spouse applications, including those of same-sex couples, will only be accepted at four federally owned National Guard bases: the Air National Guard bases in Tulsa and Oklahoma City, the Regional Training Institute in Oklahoma City and Camp Gruber.

The applications are already being processed at the state’s five U.S. military installations: Fort Sill, Tinker Air Force Base, Altus Air Force Base, Enid Air Force Base and the McAlester ammunition plant.

The Fallin administration’s decision appears to be in defiance of Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel’s directive to process the applications of all spouses, regardless of sex, although Fallin maintained her solution complies with all “federal rules or policies.”

Fallin said the decision was reached in consultation with Attorney General Scott Pruitt.

“Oklahoma law is clear,” Fallin said in a statement.

“The state of Oklahoma does not recognize same-sex marriages, nor does it confer marriage benefits to same-sex couples. The decision reached today allows the National Guard to obey Oklahoma law without violating federal rules or policies. It protects the integrity of our state constitution and sends a message to the federal government that they cannot simply ignore our laws or the will of the people.”

Although Oklahoma owns most of the state’s National Guard armories and training centers, the facilities were built almost entirely with federal funds.

The federal government provides about 90 percent of the budget for the Oklahoma Military Department, which includes the National Guard.

I don’t know how or why, but I totally missed this article when it was released a few weeks ago. I guess I just assumed it was a regurgitation of the original story, or maybe my body is building up an immunity to the words and policies of nutty Oklahoma politicians. We should get OMRF to research a Derplahoman vaccine or something.

Fortunately, the national media recently picked up on the news and has exposed the Governor for being a backwards thinking, illogical, misguided bigot. My favorite article/column was written by Mark Joseph Stern over at Slate.

Here’s a snippet:

Don’t worry about Deby Snodgrass’ salary, the Tourism Department is doing a great job…


The piece of cheesy, trying-too-hard happiness pictured above is Deby Snodgrass. When she’s not pretending to be a realtor with lipstick on her teeth, she’s the Executive Director of the Oklahoma Tourism and Recreation Department.

Deby made the news recently for receiving a $40,000 (46%) pay raise that bumped her annual salary to $126,000. The raise generated some controversy because a) most state employees haven’t received pay raises since 2006, b) it was a $40,000 raise, c) it was a $40,000 raise, and d) it was a $40,000 raise. Did I mention it was a $40,000 raise? I would make an off-color “Who’d she have to _______ for that” joke, but it would be too unrealistic. Other than blackmailing your boss, having powerful friends in high places, or lying on your online dating profile, there’s nothing you can do to earn a raise like that.

Snodgrass has obviously received a lot of criticism and unwanted media attention for the hefty pay increase. Therefore, it’s not too surprising that the Tourism Department recently issued a press release that touts the economic impact tourism has on Oklahoma. The release lacks substance and fails to put random numbers into a meaningful perspective, but it sure draws attention away from a goddamn $40,000 a year raise. The goldfish pool that is our local media took the bait.


Sally Kern’s husband doesn’t like homosexual-themed plays about the bible…

steve kern

Here in a few weeks, the Oklahoma City Theatre Company will perform a satirical, homosexual-themed play called “The Most Fabulous Story Ever Told.” The play makes fun of religion, the bible, and would probably be a hit on Bravo:

Seeking a theatrical offering for the holidays that challenges the norm and appeals to an alternative audience, OKCTC presents this rib-tickling satirical take on selected stories from the Bible. Act 1 is a retelling of the major episodes of the Old Testament and the Nativity story. Act 2 jumps to modern day where Adam and Steve (who met in Eden, broke up during the flood, and were reunited when they both show up as shepherds during the Nativity) are together again. Bound by their long life together, the two men comfort each other even though their remaining time will be short. A hilarious comedy with a surprisingly dramatic heart.

Naturally, the production has irked the Derplahoman army. One of their alpha leaders, Sally Kern’s husband Rev. Steve Kern (pictured above), is planning a prayer gathering in protest.

Via NewsOK:

Stick a transvaginal wand in the ultrasound abortion law, it’s done…

transvaginal ultra sound

Back in 2008, Oklahoma lawmakers cemented their status as one of the most draconian governing bodies in the country when they passed legislation requiring that an Oklahoma woman must have an invasive ultrasound exam performed, and look at images of the fetus, before she could get a totally legal abortion.

The law, which was passed through an override of a Governor Henry veto, was immediately challenged in the courts. It was first struck down by the Oklahoma Supreme Court in 2009 for violating the commonly cited “single subject rule.” Not to be deterred, the legislature reworked the law to comply with the Oklahoma constitution. Before it could take effect, though, a district court judge granted a temporary restraining order in 2010, and then a permanent injunction in 2012. The Oklahoma Supreme Court, because they are totally awesome people who always think of the little guy first, especially in the case of open records requests, upheld the lower court’s ruling this past December and ruled the entire thing unconstitutional.

Despite all the rulings against the obviously unconstitutional law, Oklahoma Attorney General Scott Pruitt continued to waste state taxpayers money and fight for it all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court.

Via the New York Times:

Mary Fallin doesn’t want you to criticize the A-F school grading system…

fallin open toe shoes governors association 2

Once again, I don’t pay a lot of attention to our state’s education system. This is because I fortunately don’t have any kids that legally belong to me. I know, I know, children bring joy and love and happiness into your life. That’s cool. The next time I’m drinking a mojito at 1:30pm or sleeping or not cleaning crayon off a wall, I’ll totally think about how happy you are.

On the topic of happiness, that’s a word that most people don’t mention when discussing Oklahoma’s A-F school grading system. Virtually everyone, especially professionals (a.k.a. teachers, administrators, superintendents) who have dedicated their lives to public education, hate the system. This is for several reasons, like it doesn’t accurately measure the performance of schools, depends too much on test scores, and seems to be the first part of conservative agenda to cripple public education in favor of for-profit charter and private schools.

Anyway, Governor Mary Fallin is fed up with all the people hating on her signature education law and she would like for them to stop.

Via The Tulsa World: