Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Archive for Oklahoma Politics – Page 28

One of Christina Fallin’s friends wrote a letter to Mary Fallin…

fallin lankford kern

In case you missed it, Governor Mary Fallin recently reminded the rest of the world how intolerant our state can be when she announced the Oklahoma National Guard will no longer process benefit requests for same-sex couples.

Obviously, the news got the attention of the national media. Yesterday, the Huffington Post published an “Open Letter to Governor Fallin” by Dillon Peña. The makeup artist is an Oklahoma ex-pat living in New York City. He’s also openly gay and former friends with Christina Fallin.

If you haven’t read the letter, you should. Here it is in its entirety:

Oklahoma County Clerk Carolyn Caudill was boned out of jail…

When it reins it poors.

Perhaps inspired by the grammar excellence recently displayed by the Oklahoma State Department of Education, News 9 let everyone know on last night’s 10:00pm news that Oklahoma County Clerk Carolyn Caudill was boned out of jail:

boned out of jail

I’ve never heard of anyone being boned out of jail before, but if it’s going to happen somewhere, it might as well be at the same place where an inmate hid a gun in his anus.

Anyway, if you want to see something kind of funny, take a look at this pic of Carolyn Caudill that I found on the Oklahoma County Clerk website. Compare it to the mugshot above:

Just like us, Janet Barresi needs to hire a copy editor…

janet baressi

As a childless 35-year-old heterosexual male with no known children, I don’t pay much attention to what’s going on with our state’s schools and education policies. It’s not that I hate kids and their future or anything like that. It’s just that I have more important priorities like freedom, sleeping and doing whatever I want when I want.

Saying that, one thing I do know is that nobody seems to like Oklahoma State Superintendent Janet Barresi. She’s about as popular as Thayer Evans is at Eskimo Joes. I don’t think there’s one educator in our state that can stand her. They hate her attitude, fringe conservative ideology and general ineptness.

The ineptness part was literally on full display Tuesday night at the 2014 Oklahoma Teacher of the Year awards. Check out the amazing writing used in the program for the ceremony:

Rep. Markwayne Mullin really doesn’t like it when people eat


I’m sure that it has crossed your mind on many occasions that the individuals elected to office in no way represent you or your interests. Suffice it to say that politicians generally have no idea what the people want, so much so, that I’m almost positive that many Oklahoma politicians simply say things to please the grumpy old white men who wandered over to their town hall meetings after running errands at the Tractor Supply. This is not to say that we don’t have some gems in the bunch, because we do. I just think at times, we have more caricatures of ideologies in office than we have real people.

Hence, Markwayne Mullin. Mullin is a Republican representative for Oklahoma’s second congressional district whose first name is literally Markwayne. He also owns a plumbing company that took a hefty chunk of stimulus dollars for a job, though Markwayne is totally against that. Also, for a businessman, Markwayne kind of doesn’t know math. Like, at all. From a story on thinkprogress.org:

10 Real Problems Our Legislature Can Solve During The Special Session

tw shannon

Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin is calling for a special session of the Oklahoma legislature to restore yet another Oklahoma bill that was ruled unconstitutional.

From NewsOK:

Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin issued an executive order Monday ordering the Oklahoma Legislature to convene a special session Sept. 3 to consider restoring laws overturned by the state Supreme Court that were designed to cut businesses’ legal liability costs.

The first special legislative session since Fallin took office in 2011 will be limited to restoring a bill adopted by lawmakers in 2009 that was designed to reduce the number of frivolous lawsuits and medical malpractice claims filed in Oklahoma.

In June, the state Supreme Court invalidated the law in a 7-2 decision, saying it violated the single-subject rule in the Oklahoma Constitution and amounted to logrolling, or the passing of legislation that contains multiple subjects…

A special session would cost nearly $30,000 per day, according to legislative staff.

Tort reform is something “job creators” love, because it costs them less when they mess up the lives of their employees or customers. Let’s say you work for an obscure local social blog, and due to writing for the blog you get shot by an angry white rapper with Col. Custer’s revolver. Thanks to tort reform laws, a.k.a. corporate immunity, you are only allowed to sue that blog for a certain amount of money.

Sure, torts are more complicated than that example, but if billionaires are for it, my lower-middle class ass is against it. So instead of complaining about how our government system is set up to help the rich, I would like to list 10 problems our legislature could solve for $30,000 a day:


1. Prison Overpopulation

Some of our lawmakers actually want to do this during the special session. I have a different plan of action than just figuring out their funding. How about we stop putting so many people in jail? Violent criminals should be behind bars, of course, but we’ve gotta stop locking up people for the stupid mistakes they make. Here are some things I don’t think people should be put in jail for: Possession of marijuana, public intoxication (as long as they aren’t driving), prostitution and being a fan of Carlos Mencia. People jailed for these types of crimes don’t need to go to prison, they need help. Also, let’s stop using private prisons. Like any lease, it’s affordable at the beginning, but then they jack up the price on you and there’s nothing you can do.


2. Campaign Finance Reform

It’s tough for our elected representatives and senators. They have to raise money for their campaigns, campaign and then they are expected to show up at the Capitol Monday through Thursday for THREE WHOLE MONTHS! How do you expect these people, who get paid more than teachers, to work for three months?!?! Since our elected officials don’t have time for reading and writing bills during sessions, they often times just let the lobbyist write it for them. This ensures the organization the lobbyist works for will provide them with campaign donations, and it saves the lawmakers a shit-load of time! How about we make it illegal for lobbyists and businesses to contribute to political campaigns? It’s a dumb idea and is completely unenforceable, but a boy can dream.