Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Archive for Oklahoma Politics – Page 28

People in McAlester are upset they can’t put crosses on city street signs

See those two cowboys shaking hands in front of a cross? That’s part of a collection of tacky silhouette street signs that were donated to the City of McAlester. This sign, and a few other religious themed items, were recently removed by the city after a citizen complained they violated the separation between church and state.

Cue the angry Christians:

The McAlester City Council met Tuesday night to discuss whether to reinstall nine silhouette street signs removed by the city.

The removed signs depicted crosses or crucifixes and the citizen complaint stated it violated the separation of church and state. Residents and church groups have opposed the city’s decision.

The nine signs are part of 125 black metal signs a resident donated to the city to represent McAlester’s culture.

Residents packed the city council meeting Tuesday evening, saying the city violated their freedom of speech by taking down religious-themed signs.

The city says the signs violate separation of church and state.

The city removed the signs, because of the cross in the middle. The signs have now been moved to church property, but many residents want it back on city property.

The city council says a lawsuit could cost the city $400,000 if it reinstalled the signs and lost a legal challenge.

Two national law organizations told the council the city would have had a good case to keep the signs up, had it not removed them in the first place.

Uhm, from which two national law organizations did the city council get their information? My guess is The National Association of Baptist Lawyers (NABL) and/or The United Federation for Forcing Religion Down Our Throats (UFFFRDOT). Maybe I’m a bit too logical and rational, but when a city decorates street signs with cowboys praying at crosses, the signs not only violate the separation of church and state, but also the spirit of good taste. Those things were so tacky Hobby Lobby probably wouldn’t stock them.

Also, what if the signs didn’t have crosses, but instead displayed the Star of David or Star and Crescent? Think there would have been such an uproar if the city removed them? The answer is “Of course not.”

Things get even better though. And by better, I really mean more sad and irritating. Check out this statement by made by one angry church lady at the city council meeting:

Peacefully grant the State of Oklahoma to withdraw from the USA and create its own In-N-Out Burger

By now, you’ve probably received an email from your uncle in Watonga asking you to sign an online petition to have Oklahoma (or any state) go all South Carolina on everyone and secede from the Union. If you’re like me and have a special Gmail folder set-up to ignore that uncle, the local and national media is doing their best to keep you informed.

From KFOR:

People from dozens of states, including Oklahoma, are continuing efforts to actually secede from the United States of America.

This anti-government movement is gaining steam, ironically, on the official White House website.

That’s where a number of petitions can be found, including those looking to take a few stars off the U.S. flag.

Should Oklahoma leave the U.S. and form its own government?

“I don’t think we should be our own country,” one voter said in downtown Oklahoma City.

“That sounds ridiculous,” another one said while laughing.

The thought might be a joke to some but it’s an actual effort on the White House website under the “We The People” section.

In fact, residents in more than half of the 50 states have started petitions to secede from the U.S., with Oklahoma right along with them.

The reasons include concerns about gun control, Obamacare and the economy.

If 25,000 signatures are collected within a month, the White House said they’ll consider the petition…

Wow. What a non-story that is. Maybe KFOR should go interview one of the biggest right-wing nuts in the state and give him some publicity related to this non-issue:

Sooner Tea Party organizer Al Gerhart said this anti-government sentiment started after Obama’s election four years ago.

“They’re afraid of Obamacare,” he said Tuesday. “Basically, creeping socialism with this federal government that’s telling Oklahomans what we can and can’t do.”

We found some Oklahomans who are not writing off the idea of seceding.

“I don’t like how welfare is set up,” one woman said. “I don’t like how you can have kids and they (federal government) pay for it.”

“Well if we did (secede), we would definitely be energy independent,” another person said.

Gov. Fallin said in a written statement Tuesday evening, “Oklahoma is not going to secede from the Union.”

If I haven’t made this clear yet, here’s one thing I don’t understand: Why’s this news?!? We can’t “peacefully withdraw from the United States of America.” It’s impossible. This whole movement is nothing but a whine’fest created by a bunch of bitter, sore losing crybabies who can’t get over the fact that they’re extreme and archaic political views now put them in the minority in this country! The petitions should not be taken seriously.

Just look at how easy it is to create and sign a petition on the White House site. It’s not hard at all. Any child, Nyquiled-out blogger, or half-drunk bitter tea partier with an email address and angry white friends can do it. If you need proof, here’s a petition I made last night:

Hipsters invaded the Governor’s Mansion!

Over the past few years, we’ve somehow become Oklahoma’s unofficial news source for shenanigans at the Governor’s Mansion. We covered Christina Fallin’s fashion magazine photo shoot, our Governor’s obsession with hot tub temperatures, and totally wicked frat boy rush parties.

Well, I guess it’s time to add another item to our list of excellence in Governor’s Mansion reporting. Hipsters invaded the mansion grounds over the weekend, and fortunately for us, they have Instagram accounts!

Here are a few of the pics we found. Unless you consider posing at the Governor Mansion’s podium with a glass of wine to be risque, they photos are not very controversial. In fact, they don’t have a thing on Governor Keating’s forehead waxing pics from the 1990s. They’re just kind of funny, weird and totally hipstery.

Yes or No: We break down the 2012 Oklahoma Judicial Elections

Today is the day when you finally get to cast your ballot. Exciting, huh? You’ve probably done your research about who you want to be the next Commander-in-Chief, but I doubt you know a thing about the judges who you’ll be asked to retain or dismiss. Because of that, Patrick and I are here to provide you with a few details about the justices, along with our personal endorsements.

Supreme Court:

Supreme Court District 3: Noma D. Gurich

SPENCER — Vote Yes: Norma Gurich deserves your vote. She’s smart and only the third woman to be appointed to the Oklahoma Supreme Court. We need MORE women on the Supreme Court, because you don’t have to pay them as much as a man.

PATRICK — Vote No: I don’t know about this lady. I want my judge to look like a judge and not a retired cast member of Cirque Du Soleil. I’m pretty sure she swallows swords and rides unicycles on the weekend.


Supreme Court District 4: Yvonne Kauger

SPENCER — Vote Yes: I like Justice Kauger. She’s fair, balanced and impartial. Basically, she’s the opposite of Fox News. Plus, her colorful doilies are made by the same blind refugee that makes Mike Morgan’s bedazzled ties.

PATRICK — Vote No: I’m basing this decision entirely on Kauger’s taste in art. She likes strange African and Native American masks made by white men from Ada. One time I went to an art show at her mansion near the capitol and ended up coming home with something called a beaver stick. And I’m being serious.

10 other State Questions that should be added to the Oklahoma ballot

This Tuesday, Oklahoman’s will flock to the polls to vote for their favorite Republican leaders. In addition to that, they’ll be asked to cast their votes either for or against six state questions. Here are they are:

State Question 758: This initiative would lower the annual cap on future property tax increases from 5% to 3%. If you vote against this, you’re a jackass…or concerned it will hurt education funding.

State Question 759: This amendment would limit affirmative action programs in Oklahoma. This SQ is enthusiastically support by 98% of all angry white uncles who watch Fox News and send political chain emails. The other 2% are prisoners and can’t vote.

State Question 762: This one doesn’t seem that bad. It would remove the governor from the parole process for some nonviolent prisoners and save the state about $3.3-million a year. Naturally, our governor is against the measure.

State Question 765: By far, this is the most interesting issue on the ballot. It would allow the Oklahoma Water Resources Board to issue bonds to provide a reserve fund for that board. The fund would be reserved for water resource and sewage treatment programs. This would be different than the way things usually work, which is who the hell cares.

State Question 765: This measure would abolish the Oklahoma Department of Human Services, the Oklahoma Commission of Human Services and the position of Director of the Oklahoma Department of Human Services. According to the measure, instead of having this department, commission and position be responsible for adopting rules and regulations regarding the state’s elderly, that power would fall to the Oklahoma Legislature and also if a citizen-initiative is placed on the ballot proposing a law regarding the elderly. Also I just copied and pasted all that info from Ballotpedia.

State Question 766: This is the measure that Fake Barry Switzer endorsed. It will lower taxes on utilities, and as a result, raise taxes on individual property owners! Sounds like a good deal! Large businesses never catch a break.

I’m not sure if you read all that, but our state questions are pretty boring this year. I nearly fell asleep while writing about them. My favorite state question ever was the one back in 2004 that allowed poker and black jack in casinos. That’s back when everyone thought they were the next Chris Moneymaker. I was so excited when it passed! Since then, I’ve played poker about five or six times in an Oklahoma casino.

Anyway, because this year’s state questions suck, Spencer and I came up with a list of 10 others that should be on the Oklahoma ballot. Lets get a petition drive going and make some of these happen!

1. Force someone to take and pass a drug test before receiving a high-interest Pay Day loan.

Makes sense, right? If we’re going to force poor people to pass a drug test before they can get food stamps, we might as do the same thing before they take out a high interest loan  will ruin their credit and make them get on food stamps.


2. Make “English at a 5th Grade Comprehension Level” be the official language of Oklahoma.

That may be setting the bar a little high, but I think we can do it.