Archive for the 'OU Football' Category

Bad Satire Taken Seriously

Did you hear that Sam Bradford AND Landry Jones were arrested for drug trafficking leaving one of the Horsepigs as the starting quarterback for the Sooners this year? 

What’s that you say? 

You think something that scandalous would have been more widely reported than on a Nebraska fansite message board? 

You think it would have been frontpage news and that James Hale would be spending as much time on the air as Dan Rather on election night 2000 trying to explain how the Horsepig is now in position to win the Heisman if it were true?

That’s crazy talk.  At least it is if you happen to work for The Oklahoman or if you sired Landry Jones.

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You Decide: Jason White Picture Caption Contest

A couple of months ago, we begged our readers to come up with some captions for this picture of Jason White and KISS FM morning jock Ron Williams doing stuff with pool sticks. Here’s what we said:

Whoever writes the best, most funny one-lined caption for the picture above wins their choice of one of the following things:

• A limited edition Lost Ogle T-Shirt

• A limited edition date with Blythe

• Lunch with Clark Matthews

First of all, it should be pointed out that apparently Blythe has a boyfriend and Clark Matthews no longer eats lunch, so it looks like our winner will have to live with a FREE limited edition Lost Ogle T-Shirt and possibly an autographed copy of a recent Gazette. Amazing, huh.

Anyway, we went and selected five of the better “entries” and figured we would let our readers determine which is the best caption. View and vote after the jump.

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This is odd. I always thought Jason White would be the pitcher.

It’s not every day you run across the picture of a local morning jock going all brokeback on a former Heisman winning quarterback. That’s why I can’t decide which angle to take when making fun of the picture.

At first I was thinking I would question the location of Ron’s pool stick. But that seemed too obvious, so I figured I would write about Jason White finally pursuing his dream of being a professional center, but then I remembered that I played center for the Southside Chiefs in elementary school, and my snarky comment could be hypocritical. Then I remembered this old post that Tony wrote back when we had 10 readers a day, and that I could maybe speculate that Jason White was the guy, but that seemed pretty boring. Then my brain got all confused like a plot in the Justice League and I just gave up.

Anyway, that’s why I’m going to ask for help from you, our dedicated reader. Whoever writes the best, most funny one-lined caption for the picture above wins their choice of one of the following things:

• A limited edition Lost Ogle T-Shirt

• A limited edition date with Blythe

• Lunch with Clark Matthews

So, we’ll be accepting comments all week folks. Be sure to tip your waitresses and bar staff on the way out.

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“It will be mine. Oh yes! It will be mine.”

It’s hard to even make up stories that are this good.

As you probably know, State Labor Commissioner Lloyd Fields was sent to the drunk tank this past Saturday night after trying to…get this…steal a bull rider’s guitar at a rodeo after-party.

Welcome to OOOOOOOklahoma, ladies and gentlemen. In other states, labor officials are involved in shady midnight deals behind an old abandoned warehouse by the dock, where they exchange black briefcases with union leaders and people use code names like “Mother Fox” and “Dakota.” But here in Oklahoma, our labor commissioner just attempts to steal a rodeo cowboy’s guitar at a good old fashion hootenanny.

Anyway, in a clever attempt to make this story even better, sources have confirmed to The Lost Ogle that authorities are investigating the possibility that Commissioner Fields utilized the services of an accomplice in the attempted guitar heist. For a complete rundown of the suspects, click the little “click more” button.

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Five Star Super Gold Top 150 Recruiting Post

Disclaimer: If you are Carey Murdock, stop reading now! We repeat, stop reading now! If you are James Hale, please continue reading.

So today is national signing day! To reflect on this creepy day where men of all ages wonder, dream and bicker about the major life decisions of 17 and 18 year old high school seniors, I thought I’d share with everyone this great recap of the 2001 OU football recruiting class.

The recap was written by some guy named AtlantaSooner (EDIT: Tony here. For those of you who actually have lives and haven’t inhabited OU message boards for the last ten years, Atlanta Sooner was, back in the days of (speaking of Carey Murdock) BoomerSooner.net, the guy to go to for recruiting recaps. This was before Rivals and Scout got big. We worshiped him. So this post is yet another data point in the “Tony is dumb” category.) Even though he probably wasn’t an official recruiting “expert,” his thoughts, opinions and projections of the 2001 class seem to mirror the words of those recruiting scribes found all over the net. And for the most part shows how ridiculous (and funny) college recruiting rankings and analysis can really be.

Highlights are after the jump:

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Do You Recognize This Man, Part II

Boy, the internet sure is a crazy place. Message board rumors are now rumbling that this guy is former Oklahoma quarterback Brent Rawls and that he has made it to Hollywood on (Tony’s favorite show) American Idol!

Actually, I don’t think that’s Brent Rawls, but I wish it was. That would be awesome! In fact everything above was just a blatant lie to point out that the guy who we thought was possibly Moe Dampeer probably isn’t Moe Dampeer. It’s called sarcasm. Get it?

And the reason for this sarcasm is that Ryan from OklahomaRock.com (when he’s not writing great reviews about great local bands like Anchors for Arsenal) shared with us this MySpace page. On that private MySpace page you can find this picture:

And when you compare that picture to this one, I think we can be assured that Mo Dampeer didn’t drop 150 pounds.

Anyway, all these different pictures still don’t let us know if Mo made it to Hollywood. We did send him a MySpace message, but he never replied. Hopefully that means he didn’t make it, because I’m sick and tired of writing about Mo Dampeer, and if he wins American Idol, I’m sure we’ll have to write about him a whole lot more.

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Do You Recognize This Man?

If reports on the magical internets are accurate (admittedly, not always the safest of bets), the handsome devil in the above photo trying out for American Idol is none other than former OU defensive tackle Moe Dampeer. Yes, the same one that used to weigh 300+ pounds. He’s apparently lost something like half of that and made it through to Hollywood in the Omaha auditions.

I got nothing else. Here’s Big Moe dancing during the ‘04 Sugar Bowl:

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I Want To Hang Out With These People

Earlier today, this e-mail popped into my inbox:

Dear Tony,

OMG I just wanted you 2 no that I think U R amazing. I’d really like 2 hang out sometime it would be an honor just to be in your presence!!!!!!!!1 Call me, K?

Sincerely,
Dean B.

PS Rafael Nadal will totally win the Australian Open!!!!!

I get this sort of thing quite a bit. It comes with the territory when you are the 3rd best blogger on Oklahoma’s 8th most influential political blog. Also, Metro Oklahoma City Semi-Weekly named me one of southeast Edmond’s 1500 most eligible bachelors. So I’ve got that going for me.

Anyway, I simply do not have the time to hang out with all the local celebrities that I would like to. So I’ve narrowed the list to seven people I’d like to spend some time with over the next few months and what I would like to do with each of them. If you are on this list, you are in a special territory, so congratulations!

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