Editor’s Note: We’d like to thank Gravy for another fine season of recapping the college football games. When you read this, I hope a little tear falls from your eye and drops in your whiskey. It would be fitting.
The Cheap Ass Sporting Goods Bowl was the perfect microcosm of the issues plaguing this program since the end of September.
A great way to exorcise the demons of Bedlam would have been a fast start. Not going three and out (including what should have been an INT on an awful, yet foreshadowing 3rd down pass from Trevor Knight). And certainly not giving up a 65 yard touchdown pass on the first play to an offense that mustered 17 points against Boston College, 16 points against Syracuse, and 6 points against Georgia Tech.
Fine. Whatever. Let’s regroup and play good, sound, fundamental football. Which would NOT include getting caught offsides on a fucking field goal attempt (that was blocked …) or getting caught *wait for it* offsides on a pick six. OR … throwing two GD horrific interceptions in the first half, one of which was returned for a touchdown. OR … continuing to give up 3rd down conversions by not covering a simple 7 yard out. OR … missing an extra point.
Again, perfect synopsis for the season.
The Sooners led OSU 35-21 with 7:54 to play.
Tyreek Hill returns the ensuing kick off to the 40 of OSU. OSU three and out.
How in the blue hell does OU lose?! No decent team loses this game. But OU is no decent team. They punt with just over 5 minutes in the game. No chance OSU comes back to win.
GAME OVER … Right?!
Mason Rudolph to Brandon Shepard for the score with just under 5 minutes to play. OU goes three and out. No timeouts left for the pokes. Zach Sanchez picks the ball off with three minutes left. OU goes three and out. Punt, OSU runs into the kicker after OSU’s Tyreek Hill fair catches at the 15. And instead of just dealing with the OSU offense at the 15 with no timeouts and under a minute left …
GAME OVER DAMMIT!!!
Oklahoma and Bob Stoops do the unthinkable .. the idiotic – they take the penalty and kick the ball to Hill again. Literally the only guy on the field who shouldn’t have the ball is given the ball is purposely given the ball. In space. Anyone want to venture a guess as to how this worked out?????
If Saturday left any doubts, Samaje Perine has officially made it.
Yesterday, the Taiwanese Animators released a video recapping the OU running back’s record-setting day in Gaylord Oklahoma Memorial, or as OSU fans like to call it, The Big Gay.
The video is amazingly accurate in its storytelling. It shows stereotypical rain-soaked OU fans enjoying the game…
Sterling Shepard using a toy he bought from Patricia’s (or the Hustler Store) to massage his groin…
And KU defenders showcasing their tackling skills…
Check out the entire video after the jump. You’ll probably want to watch it three or four times like I just did…
10) Samaje Perine
Last week, Wisconsin running back Melvin Gordon broke LaDainian Tomlinson’s 15-year-old NCAA single game rushing record when he rushed for 408 yards against Nebraska.
On a rainy afternoon in Norman, a game where dozens of people cared… where alums stayed home (e.g. this guy)… where the game was delayed 90 minutes for “lightning”… where Cody Thomas couldn’t complete a forward pass… where the receiving corp was horrendous… where Keith Ford started the game…
Samaje Perine ran for an NCAA record 427 yards. 5 touchdowns. 12.6 yards a carry.
And he’s only 18.
Perine’s level of dominance was eclipsed only by the Sooners offensive line. After watching the Kansas linebackers and safeties explode through the Oklahoma line of scrimmage for a cool quarter or so, the O-line went straight medieval on that ass, hammering the second level of the Kansas defense, and allowing Perine to be part of history.
But let’s not give the line all the credit. Keith Ford – and his two fumbles – averaged 4.2 yards a carry. Alex Ross averaged less than a yard per carry. Thomas could not complete a pass. Perine was amazing. He broke tackles. He broke off long runs. He broke the will of Kansas.The same Jayhawk team that nearly upset TCU last week. No, Kansas isn’t going to be mistaken for the 1985 Bears (or 2000 Jenks), but 427 on the ground is amazing regardless who you play. Perine and his line were completely dominant and the record provides a level of solace for an otherwise craptastic season.
This marked the second time Oklahoma has rushed for 500+ yards this season, which makes you wonder how in the blue hell did that mongrel idiot in the press box called 30 plus passing plays in any game at any point this season. The Sooners called 13 pass plays to 55 run plays, an acceptable ratio when your quarterback has the accuracy of Rick Vaughn.
The above pic is obligatory, and does not accurately reflect my mood as I delve into this week’s round of awfulness.
Now to the column I was forced to write…
10) Oklahoma and Baylor
There was Kansas State in 2003. USC in 2004. Texas in 2005. West Virginia in 2007. Oklahoma State 2011. Baylor 2013. All blow out losses. All to pretty damn good teams.
This one was different. It was in Norman. Against Baylor.
Where does one begin? Sam Adams Winter Lager was released this past week. So there is that. Which is awesome.
Then there was Saturday afternoon. Not so awesome.
The final numbers:
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