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Samaje Perine got the Taiwanese Animators treatment…

If Saturday left any doubts, Samaje Perine has officially made it.

Yesterday, the Taiwanese Animators released a video recapping the OU running back’s record-setting day in Gaylord Oklahoma Memorial, or as OSU fans like to call it, The Big Gay.

The video is amazingly accurate in its storytelling. It shows stereotypical rain-soaked OU fans enjoying the game…

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Sterling Shepard using a toy he bought from Patricia’s (or the Hustler Store) to massage his groin…

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And KU defenders showcasing their tackling skills…

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Check out the entire video after the jump. You’ll probably want to watch it three or four times like I just did…

College Football Musings from the Train: Week 13

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10) Samaje Perine

Last week, Wisconsin running back Melvin Gordon broke LaDainian Tomlinson’s 15-year-old NCAA single game rushing record when he rushed for 408 yards against Nebraska.

Hello 427.

On a rainy afternoon in Norman, a game where dozens of people cared… where alums stayed home (e.g. this guy)… where the game was delayed 90 minutes for “lightning”… where Cody Thomas couldn’t complete a forward pass… where the receiving corp was horrendous… where Keith Ford started the game…

Samaje Perine ran for an NCAA record 427 yards. 5 touchdowns. 12.6 yards a carry.

And he’s only 18.

Perine’s level of dominance was eclipsed only by the Sooners offensive line. After watching the Kansas linebackers and safeties explode through the Oklahoma line of scrimmage for a cool quarter or so, the O-line went straight medieval on that ass, hammering the second level of the Kansas defense, and allowing Perine to be part of history.

But let’s not give the line all the credit. Keith Ford – and his two fumbles – averaged 4.2 yards a carry. Alex Ross averaged less than a yard per carry. Thomas could not complete a pass. Perine was amazing. He broke tackles. He broke off long runs. He broke the will of Kansas.The same Jayhawk team that nearly upset TCU last week. No, Kansas isn’t going to be mistaken for the 1985 Bears (or 2000 Jenks), but 427 on the ground is amazing regardless who you play. Perine and his line were completely dominant and the record provides a level of solace for an otherwise craptastic season.

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9) Oklahoma/Kansas

This marked the second time Oklahoma has rushed for 500+ yards this season, which makes you wonder how in the blue hell did that mongrel idiot in the press box called 30 plus passing plays in any game at any point this season. The Sooners called 13 pass plays to 55 run plays, an acceptable ratio when your quarterback has the accuracy of Rick Vaughn.

College Football Musings from the Train: Dumpster Fire Edition

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The above pic is obligatory, and does not accurately reflect my mood as I delve into this week’s round of awfulness.

Now to the column I was forced to write…

10) Oklahoma and Baylor

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There was Kansas State in 2003. USC in 2004. Texas in 2005. West Virginia in 2007. Oklahoma State 2011. Baylor 2013. All blow out losses. All to pretty damn good teams.

This one was different. It was in Norman. Against Baylor.

Baylor.

Baylor.

Boooo.

Where does one begin? Sam Adams Winter Lager was released this past week. So there is that. Which is awesome.

Then there was Saturday afternoon. Not so awesome.

The final numbers:

College Football Musings from the Train: Week 10

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10) Oklahoma Rolls ISU

Oklahoma did what they were supposed to do Saturday morning and hammered Iowa state 59-14. After several weeks of lackluster offense and inconsistent defense, and some patented mind-blowing miscues and turnovers, Oklahoma put it to the Cyclones to the tune of 41 first downs and 751 total yards, 510 of which came on the ground. It started early – with seven minutes left in the SECOND quarter, OU had 391 total yards and 20 first downs. The Sooners gashed ISU all day, using multiple formations and runners to move up and down the field at will. The Sooners put the game away before the fourth quarter, allowing the backups to gain some time and proving that at this point, Cody Thomas is a single threat quarterback, with the said threat not being the forward pass.

Outside of two bad interceptions that took points off the board, Knight had a great day. He threw for 230 yards and three scores. He ran for another 146, a statistic that ends all that “where in the hell is the dual threat quarterback we were promised” talk and begins all the”where in the hell has been all season?” discussion. Knight just looks better, more confident than he did earlier this month. The passes look better. The timing of his throws has improved. Yes, he still throws the occasional bad interception, but ISU Trevor Knight was the Trevor Knight we expected after the Sugar Bowl. And he did this without Sterling Shepherd. Durron Neal had a nice game. Michiah Quick caught eight balls (should have been at least 10). Blake Bell caught two touchdown passes.

And how about the defense…

OU held ISU to 334 total yards, less than 100 on the ground, and 23 minutes of possession. That’s not bad, especially when you consider what ISU did the week before against Texas. I have complained long and loud about how it seems Mike Stoops has allowed offenses to dictate his defense, rather than asserting his defense on an offense. That changed on Saturday. Oklahoma blitzed and harassed Sam Richardson all day, forcing rushed passes and completely stuffing the run. Though Jordan Evans still struggles at times tacking guys in space, he did a great job of getting to the ball carrier and slowing him down for the masses. It took a drive of gimmick plays and the “daily double move to burn Zach Sanchez” for ISU to get on the scoreboard.

Now … revenge and redemption.

NCAA Football: Oklahoma at Baylor

9) Baylor and the Remainders

College Football Musings from the Train: Week 9

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10) OSU/West Virginia

If you look at the statistics, it wasn’t that bad (Total yards –448 to 436; First downs – 22 to 23), but the final score in Stillwater was more indicative of what we saw on TV. West Virginia went into town and hammered a bad Oklahoma State 34-10 on homecoming.

The offense, despite decent numbers, was again mediocre. No first down conversions until the 4th quarter. One touchdown the past 10 quarters. At times, the offense clicked – inside running plays using Desmond Roland. Outside running plays using Tyreek Hill. Crisp passes to the outside. At other times, the line couldn’t get a push, the quarterback was pressured, and poor throws ended drives prematurely.

Daxx Garman was wildly inconsistent. Give him time, he can throw a 20 yard out to the opposite hashmark. Put forth any sort of pass rush, and dude folds. Or throws the ball six feet above a slot receiver running an eight yard slant. He’s the Oklahoma of starting quarterbacks – you have no idea what you are going to get pass to pass. Dacks was 21 of 41 for 242 and 2 awful interceptions, one of which effectively ended the game in the fourth. The other was a terrible pass into double coverage when OSU had somewhat figured out a way to move the ball in the first half.

The good: OSU seemed to figure out how to run the ball against team with a pulse. The bad: OSU could not stop the run. Here’s an emasculating example: Holgerson going for it on 4th and 7 in the first half on his own 34 … and calling a running play … and getting the first down. Right now, this Oklahoma State defense is Emmanuel Ogbah, Kevin Peterson, James Castleman, and the 8 craptastics. Aside from a few plays by the interior line in the second and third quarters, the Poke defense wasn’t good, and at times awful.

This wasn’t quite the disparity OSU experienced last week. But the result was no different. The Pokes have talent at certain positions – defensive end, wide receiver, running back. But aren’t any good at important positoins – offensive line, secondary. Youth be damned. Yes, Oklahoma State wasn’t embarrassed to the tune of TCU last week. But they were embarrassed by at best an equally talented team at home on homecoming.

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9) Oklahoma State’s Lost Season