Eventually, it had to be done. In fact, realizing that it had not yet delved into the seediest location in town as our first year anniversary rapidly approached, we decided it had to be done quickly.

But who would write the post? I nominated Patrick, but he declined saying that his research would begin with a night at the Red Dog Saloon, followed by us never seeing him again. Tony cited his strict religious upbringing and fear of anything not sanctioned by James Dobson as means of begging off. So that left it up to me, Clark Matthews, to be the expert on the underbelly of our fair town.

After exhaustive research, here is my list of the top 10 Sleaziest Locations in Oklahoma City:

10. Britton Discount Cigarettes

Every day, on my way home from work, I get stuck in the daily traffic jam on Britton being caused by “Britton Discount Cigarettes.” Part of me feels like I should respect their great business plan. They figured out that if you smoke, you probably don’t exercise either, so they sell cigarettes at a drive thru window. Apparently pretty cheap, because rush hour always sees a parking lot in the right hand eastbound lane of Britton and several cars hoping to turn left in the westbound lane. The people are just about what you would expect. They are in beat up cars, with their faded KATT stickers on the bumper, and even though I am in the cocoon of my vehicle, I can imagine how foul it must smell on the interior. Making the place that much more repulsive is that they located it just about a block from what is now Centennial High School, but used to be my alma mater, John Marshall. So, you know they are probably making a killing selling to underage kids who are ditching class.

Right now, a good portion of our smoker readers are thinking they need to check this place out. Continue reading ‘Oklahoma City’s Sleaziest Locations’

A while back, I was driving along in my car listening to a local radio station when they cut away to a commercial break. Considering that non-satellite radio spends approximately 75% of their airtime playing commercials, I have become pretty good at tuning them out and using the time when no music/sports talk is happening to actually, you know, focus on where I’m steering the car. On this day, however, I was drawn back in when Wes Lane’s voice began broadcasting over the air.

Any loyal LostOgle fan is very aware that I have a sick fascination with Wes Lane commercials…how else would I learn that the Playboys I perused as a teen would turn me into a serial killer? (Note to self: bury bodies in garage when ice thaws.) Anyway, my focus on the road was quickly shifted to the radio, but to my surprise the familiar voice was not Wes Lane. It was just some guy who sounded exactly like the ex-District Attorney hawking boner pills.

Clearly, it was not a great commercial by any means. For one, it was as if my spam email box had come to life and begun speaking to me through the sound system of my car. But the thing is, I now look forward to this ad to come on even though I still cannot tell you what product they are pitching. I think it is listening to a man with a doppelganger voice of the Burbridge Foundation spokesman talking about pleasing a woman.

This got me to thinking…there have to be other commercials that are bad but have redeeming qualities that make them, to steal a term from VH1, “Awesomely Bad” (option two for labeling this genre of commercial was “Craptastic”–you can use whichever you prefer). With careful research, I learned that I was right. After the jump, see a ranking of the “best” our market has to offer. Continue reading ‘Power Poll: Awesomely Bad Local Commercials’