Tuesday morning, a child in Woodward fell victim to the inescapable triple dog dare. At the behest of his brother, the kid stuck his tongue to a frozen stop sign pole and basically re-enacted the classic scene from “A Christmas Story.” The kid who suggested it even fled the scene, most likely because the bell rang.
As awesome as this story is, it sucks that a little boy got hurt in the process. So Patrick and I thought of some movie inspired news stories we would like to see Oklahomans recreate.
Randy Terrill scores the winning touchdown against the prison guards
I don’t know if Randy Terrill has any ability as a football player. Actually, I kind of doubt it. But, if he were able to do this, it would mean he was in prison. As far as I’m concerned, at that point he can have his moment.
Kelly Ogle’s “2 Cents”
Tell me you wouldn’t enjoy this speech better than a tirade about America going soft because spectators would rather not drop a couple hundred dollars to sit in the snow.
Even though this is not a political blog, the fact that 2010 was an election year gave us plenty of material in that category. With the year winding down, now might be a good time to review just how much happened in the state’s political landscape.
The Rise of Emily Virgin
While Democrats in the state were getting slaughtered like Persians at the hands of King Leonidas, at least one Party member became a rising star. In this case, the word “party” is literal. We initially took interest in a little known candidate for state office from Norman because her last name was “Virgin” and, well honestly, we have very juvenile senses of humor. Afterwards, our interest was justified when it turned out her circle of friends had a reciprocal interest in us.
So in 2034, when the girl in the gray dress is chief of staff to Governor Virgin, we can totally brag that she told us to “suck on that.”
The Fall of Randy Terrill
Navidad came early for the handful of hispanic people who live in this state and are constantly being harrassed by racist legislation championed by Representative Randy Terrill. While District Attorney David Prater’s charges of corruption were not enough to derail Terrill’s re-election bid, news came out this week that he would be indicted and that he would be giving himself up to authorities in early 2011. When he gets to prison, which gang do you think he will align with for protection during recreational time? I’m sure White Power Bill has a seat saved for him in the softball bleachers.
During all of this, Terrill has maintained that the charges are a joke. But, as we pointed out back in June, he is going to have to convince a jury not to believe a beloved journalist who beat cancer.
In today’s Oklahoman, there is a story about one of Sally Kern’s supporters calling her opponent, Brittany Novotny, a confused “It.” Here’s a snippet:
State Rep. Sally Kern, known for her anti-gay comments, says she regrets one of her supporters called her opponent “” Oklahoma’s first openly transgender candidate “” a “confused it.”
Charlie Meadows, chairman of the Oklahoma Conservative Political Action Committee, said Monday he won’t apologize for using the words to describe Democrat Brittany Novotny, a lawyer from Bethany, who is challenging Kern in the Nov. 2 general election.
“I could have used the word eunuch, but the word ‘it’ was not intended to be derogatory,” Meadows said. “It is simply intended to describe really what she is now.”
Asked if he would apologize, Meadows said: “Absolutely not. To people that live in the realm of political correctness someone such as myself who’s rather plainspoken probably is always offensive. It was nothing derogatory in my heart or mind toward this individual. I’m just not politically correct; I’m just plainspoken.””¦
Novotny said Kern brought up her personal life when she spoke last month to a “Wake Up America” conference in Oklahoma City by the Bethany-based Southwest Radio Ministries. Novotny called the gathering “a small group of extremists.”
During Kern’s speech, which mostly was about homosexuality, she brought up Novotny:
“I have a very interesting race, I have an individual who was born a man, has had a sex change operation, and now considers themselves to be a woman,” Kern said, according to a transcript of her speech provided by Novotny. “So, if you live in my district and know anyone who does, please get the word out. Because if I say anything about it, it’s gonna look like I’m smearing, and I’m not, it’s just a fact and they talk about it themselves.”
Kern said she made the comments to the group; many were from out of state and only a few were from her House district.
Okay. We know that Sally Kern is a lunatic, so it shouldn’t be very surprising that her followers are also lunatics. That being said, we even wrote some offensive things about Novotny in the past ““ I think Clark Matthews called her a shemale ““so I can’t say I’m surprised that some Kern follower is basically doing the same thing. I mean, Brittany’s transgendered status is the 800lb Jim Traber in the room.
I guess the difference between us and them is that although we failed, we were at least trying to be funny. And since we weren’t funny, we personally apologized to Novotny, removed those statements from our site, and now treat her like a serious candidate. Hell, we even had her on our radio show on The Spy. Granted, one of the main reasons we had her on the show was to see if she would flirt with Chad (she maybe did) and then to see if that would make Chad uncomfortable (he wasn’t), but still, we had her on the show.
That ended up being a good thing. From talking with Brittany, we learned she is actually a pretty bright person. She doesn’t base her political views upon the scriptures of a 2,000 year old book. She wants to welcome new businesses and people to Oklahoma (not scare them away). And she wants to move Oklahoma forward, and not take us back to a time of bigotry and prejudice.
Basically, we learned we’d much rather have some like Brittany help create the laws and policies that govern our state than crazy old Sally Kern. But unfortunately, I don’t see that happening. Kern could poop on the Governors lawn and she’d still be elected.
Anyway, I do have one question related to all of this. It has to do with the picture that accompanied the article (see above.) What do you think the response would be if you took that picture, showed it to someone from out of state, and then asked “Which one of these ladies is transgendered?” How much do you want to bet that they would say the dude on the left?
Seriously, Sally Kern really does kind of look like a transgendered women. In fact, she looks like a transgendered homosexual woman. I think we call them lesbians. I’m not sure. That means according to her logic, she looks like someone who is a bigger threat to our society than Islamic terrorism. But of course she’s not. That would be a stupid thing for anyone to say.
Why is this happening to me? Basically it happened because I’m a conservative Christian who stood on the Bible.
~ Sally Kern (August 7, 2010)
Recently, conservative blogger Andrew Breitbart released a heavily edited video that showed Department of Agriculture official Shirley Sherrod supposedly bragging about denying assistance to a white farmer on the basis of race. The controversy cost Sherrod her job, got the African-American woman condemned by the NAACP, and eventually turned out to be completely fabricated when the full video was released.
With this on my mind, I was skeptical when I saw the above video featuring an audio clip of Oklahoma’s controvesial representative who made pro-Biblical statements hatefully biggoted statements about homosexuality. I mean, how could a person running for office in the United States of America in this day and age snidely complain about people seeking “freedom and equality for everyone?” Those ellipses had to be omitting some important context, right?
As my service to you gentle reader (TM-Marisa), I listened to every freaking second of the speech the above video was based upon. Then, when I was finished vomiting, I decided to report the highlights so that you could know what she’s saying without having to attend a Baptist church that somehow maintains tax-exempt status.
Today we begin games from the Midwest Region. Experts have labeled this the toughest region in the tournament. Here are today’s games:
(1) Olivia Munn vs. (16) Ghost of Ed Gaylord
(8) Mike Morgan vs. (9) Patrick
(4) Ashlynn Brooke vs. (13) Sally Kern
(5) Ms. Rocklahoma vs. (12) Brent Skarky
Read about them and vote after the jump!
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