Professional soccer makes its return to Oklahoma City this Saturday night when the OKC Energy takes on the Orlando City Epcot or Lions (one of the two) in the home opener. The match kicks off at 7:00pm at the comfy confines of Pribil Stadium, or as the cool kids like to call it, The Prib.
I’m pretty excited about the match. On a scale of 1 – 5, I’m about a Level 2 soccer fan. I follow the World Cup, UEFA Cup, and just about any competition that features the USA, but I still call the sport soccer. I also watch English Premier League matches. In fact, I even tried to become a fan of Newcastle United following the 2006 World Cup. The experiment didn’t work, but at least I tried. And yes, I picked them because of the beer.
In addition to all that, I’m now an Oklahoma City Energy season ticket holder. Yes, after coming to grips with the name, I broke down and bought some season tickets. Now I just need to figure out how offsides works.
Anyway, because this is what I do for a living, I thought I’d share 10 reasons why you should be like me a get Oklahoma City Energy season tickets. Here we go:
1. You’re an fledgling local blogger who doesn’t mind selling out to corporate interests
Okay, before we get too deep into this, I should probably clarify that the Oklahoma City Energy is an advertiser on The Lost Ogle and pretty much every other website in town. Seriously, way to go Internet Advertising Manager for the Oklahoma City Energy! I can’t visit any website, mine included, without thinking of you guys. Like a vuvuzela, that’s incredibly brilliant and obnoxious! Let’s hope the team on the field is as dedicated to winning as you are booking ads! Go Energy!
2. It will irritate Regular Jim Traber
The only thing Jim Traber hates more than soccer is a Jenni Carlson column. Since I would never recommend reading a Jenni Carlson column, going to a soccer game is the best way to irritate the Ultimate.
Last night, OU defeated OSU 12-9 in an 18-inning battle at Allie P. Reynolds stadium in Stillwater. It was the longest game ever in the Bedlam series. Our condolences go out to everyone who was in attendance at game. Going through a 9-inning college baseball game is bad enough. 18-innings? That’s just torture.
When the game approached the 14th inning, News 9′s Dean Blevins put down what I assume to be a very large bong and Playboy magazine to share his thoughts about the contest:
— Dean Blevins (@DeanBlevins) April 16, 2014
Just like a poem, song lyric or Scott Brooks coaching decision, Dean Blevins tweets can be incredibly difficult to understand and interpret. In the tweet above, I think he was trying to say the Big 12 should have called the game, declared it a tie, and in the process, given Regular Jim Traber a fatal brain aneurysm. Maybe Dean has it out for Regular Jim?
Then again, perhaps Dean was trying to say that he “should call it a night.” If so, he should have followed his own advice. It would have prevented this from happening 8-minutes later:
TLO hasn’t had a good sports article since college football left us. Since the NCAA men’s basketball championship was last night, I thought it would be a good idea to write about my beloved Kentucky Wildcats and their keys to losing the championship!
1) Coach Kevin Ollie
Former Thunder benchwarmer coached his team to victory by having Shabazz bully Ryan Boatwright in front of God and everyone. Kevin Ollie got the coaching job at UConn because of his life changing head rubs, and because Coach Calhoun left after he realized he’d saved enough to retire. With his first national championship, Coach Ollie now has a better chance of making it into the Hall of Fame than Eddie Sutton.
2) Shabazz Napier’s mom
Doesn’t she look like the type of person who would be unbelievably rude to her server at Applebee’s? Just think of what she’d do to Shabazz if he didn’t hit some unbelievable shots?
Sports editors must like one sentence paragraphs and bad sports columns.
Yesterday, the Associated Press Sports Editors announced their 2013 award winners.
The Oklahoman’s Jenni Carlson won the “Columns” category
And no, we’re not referring to the 1990s Sega video game that combined the joys of Tetris with the sadness of Dr. Mario.
They actually recognized Jenni for her sports columns.
Yes, her columns.
The same ones you click on at NewsOK.com after seeing an interesting headline, notice it’s a Jenni Carlson column, and then promptly hit the back button.
Once again, we call that being “Carlsoned.”
Here are the details of her award:
That sound you just heard was Mike Gundy puking.
Suck it, Beat Baldwin.
I know what you’re thinking: “How could Jenni Carlson win an excellence in sports writing award?!?”
Well, I think we have your answer:
Things are not going too well for OSU point guard Marcus Smart.
In case you missed it, Marcus Smart called out OSU fan blogger Kyle Porter on Twitter last night. Kyle runs the OSU news blog PistolsFiring.com. Kyle’s a pretty big OSU homer. He’s not quite in Robert Allen or Tom Durato territory, but on a scale of 1 – 10, I’d say he’s a 8. He’s still biased, roots for the program and blames all his problems in life on Thayer Evans, but it doesn’t stop him from criticizing the athletic department. Plus, Kyle will send you a thank-you note if you meet up with him for happy hour.
Anyway, while the Cowboys were blowing a winnable game against an equally under achieving Baylor squad, Smart sent a few tweets Pistol Guys way. Of course, Smart had time to do this because he was serving the final part of a three-game suspension for punching that asshole Texas Tech super fan.
Here are the tweets:
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