Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Archive for Sports

Dean Blevins Invented the “CumInHandy2Nite” Hashtag

deanblevins boob

Last night, OU defeated OSU 12-9 in an 18-inning battle at Allie P. Reynolds stadium in Stillwater. It was the longest game ever in the Bedlam series. Our condolences go out to everyone who was in attendance at game. Going through a 9-inning college baseball game is bad enough. 18-innings? That’s just torture.

When the game approached the 14th inning, News 9′s Dean Blevins put down what I assume to be a very large bong and Playboy magazine to share his thoughts about the contest:

Just like a poem, song lyric or Scott Brooks coaching decision, Dean Blevins tweets can be incredibly difficult to understand and interpret. In the tweet above, I think he was trying to say the Big 12 should have called the game, declared it a tie, and in the process, given Regular Jim Traber a fatal brain aneurysm. Maybe Dean has it out for Regular Jim?

Then again, perhaps Dean was trying to say that he “should call it a night.” If so, he should have followed his own advice. It would have prevented this from happening 8-minutes later:

Spencer’s NCAA National Championship Game Recap

Florida v Kentucky

TLO hasn’t had a good sports article since college football left us. Since the NCAA men’s basketball championship was last night, I thought it would be a good idea to write about my beloved Kentucky Wildcats and their keys to losing the championship!

1) Coach Kevin Ollie

Former Thunder benchwarmer coached his team to victory by having Shabazz bully Ryan Boatwright in front of God and everyone. Kevin Ollie got the coaching job at UConn because of his life changing head rubs, and because Coach Calhoun left after he realized he’d saved enough to retire. With his first national championship, Coach Ollie now has a better chance of making it into the Hall of Fame than Eddie Sutton.

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2) Shabazz Napier’s mom

Doesn’t she look like the type of person who would be unbelievably rude to her server at Applebee’s? Just think of what she’d do to Shabazz if he didn’t hit some unbelievable shots?

Jenni Carlson is an award-winning sports columnist…

jenni carlsoniii

Sports editors must like one sentence paragraphs and bad sports columns.

A lot.

Yesterday, the Associated Press Sports Editors announced their 2013 award winners.

The Oklahoman’s Jenni Carlson won the “Columns” category

And no, we’re not referring to the 1990s Sega video game that combined the joys of Tetris with the sadness of Dr. Mario.

They actually recognized Jenni for her sports columns.

Yes, her columns.

The same ones you click on at NewsOK.com after seeing an interesting headline, notice it’s a Jenni Carlson column, and then promptly hit the back button.

Once again, we call that being “Carlsoned.”

Here are the details of her award:

jennic carlson 2

That sound you just heard was Mike Gundy puking.

Suck it, Beat Baldwin.

I know what you’re thinking: “How could Jenni Carlson win an excellence in sports writing award?!?”

Well, I think we have your answer:

Marcus Smart probably wants to push Pistols Guy…

marcus smart

Things are not going too well for OSU point guard Marcus Smart.

First he attacked a chair. Then he a pushed a fan. Now he’s trying to bully the team’s homer bloggers on Twitter.

In case you missed it, Marcus Smart called out OSU fan blogger Kyle Porter on Twitter last night. Kyle runs the OSU news blog PistolsFiring.com. Kyle’s a pretty big OSU homer. He’s not quite in Robert Allen or Tom Durato territory, but on a scale of 1 – 10, I’d say he’s a 8. He’s still biased, roots for the program and blames all his problems in life on Thayer Evans, but it doesn’t stop him from criticizing the athletic department. Plus, Kyle will send you a thank-you note if you meet up with him for happy hour.

Anyway, while the Cowboys were blowing a winnable game against an equally under achieving Baylor squad, Smart sent a few tweets Pistol Guys way. Of course, Smart had time to do this because he was serving the final part of a three-game suspension for punching that asshole Texas Tech super fan.

Here are the tweets:

About the fake Oklahoma City Seahawks shirt that was NOT created by Mustang Brewery…

On Sunday night, while the Seahawks were destroying the Broncos and you were considering whether or not to eat the “Why Not?” slice of pizza, Mustang Brewing Company, home of Oklahoma’s best beer that’s occasionally brewed in Wisconsin, sent out the following tweet:

First of all, I don’t get the infatuation some people have with Mustang. It’s kind of like the Charleston’s of local beers. It’s not bad, and I’d never turn one down, but it’s not my first choice. If anything, it’s a safe, middle-of-the road alternative. Just like how you can go on a first date or lunch meeting to Charleston’s and not have to worry about anything, you can always buy a round of Mustangs at trivia night or bring a six-pack to a cookout and not hear any complaints. Hell, you may even get some compliments. Make sense?

Anyway, back to the tweet. Do you get it? Oklahoma City stole the Super Sonics from Seattle, so we might as well steal their badass football team, too. It’s kind of a backhanded trolling compliment like the Charleston’s analogy above, and one that I wish would someday come true.

The tweet got the attention of Anthony Wuestenfeld with Pro Line Designs. He @-replied Mustang with a silly little photoshopped Oklahoma City Seahawks graphic: