And you thought your ex was crazy…
Yesterday, weird news surfaced that Shannon Miller’s ex-husband was arrested in Canada after being linked to a large batch of dangerous chemicals, which probably means he was just a fledgling black market fracking fluid salesman.
From NewsOK.com via the AP:
Yesterday afternoon, the day after their sports department was widely criticized around the country for how they handled Berry Tramel’s edited, link-troubled column about Russell Westbrook’s “I don’t like you” dig, NewsOK.com plastered the following ad for their sports department all over the site. I’m sure it was just a coincidence, and had nothing to do with crisis management:
As a bad Seinfeld impersonator would say, who’s the ad genius that came up with that one?
I guess the message they’re trying to convey is The Oklahoman’s local sports coverage is the best because they have the biggest sports team in the state. As a guy who gets most of his Thunder news from DailyThunder.com, I would totally agree. As I tell my lovers, bigger is alway better. It’s why McDonald’s cooks the best hamburgers, Walmart sells the best groceries, and the Blue Whale is everyone’s favorite animal.
I also like how the OPUBCO copywriters brag about how the sports department delivers “more stories, more content and more insight” than anyone else. Yeah, isn’t that the truth. Who doesn’t read a Jenni Carlson column in the morning and scream “Wow. What amazing insight?!” before taking their pills and masturbating to anime porn. Seriously, insight in The Oklahoman? That would be like us saying we provide more courteous, thoughtful and respectful commentary than anyone.
Anyway, this gave me an idea. We should have one of those Photoshop contest things where we create our own fake ads for the The Oklahoman sports department.
Here are a few examples I rushed out
Remember that sad story about the Cade Pope, the Yukon kid who was forced to become a Carolina Panthers fan?
Well, it’s somehow gotten worse.
The Kansas City Chiefs came across Steve Shaw’s News 9 report and sent representatives from the team down to Yukon. The reason? They wanted to visit and surprise Cade’s little brother, Coy, and thank him for being a lifelong Chiefs fan.
Here’s a report from Chiefs.com
The University of Oklahoma men’s basketball program has made quite a few mistakes over the last 15 years.
In the early 2000s, they renovated the Lloyd-Noble Center, which made as much sense as remodeling a Sears Catalog Home. Basically, they took an ancient, dated relic from the 1970s and turned it into a more modern ancient, dated relic from the 1970s.
Then in the mid-2000s, someone decided to tell Kelvin Sampson that he had a bunch of rollover minutes available through Cingular Wireless. That didn’t work out too well, and when Kelvin Sampson bolted for Indiana in 2006 to try an unlimited minutes plan through T-Mobile, they replaced him with a Duke assistant named Jeff Capel, a man who single-handedly tried to destroy the basketball program by recruiting players who couldn’t read, write or play basketball.
Out of all the mistakes the Sooner brass has made with the basketball program, though, the worst was tossing aside the beloved hoops mascot, Top Daug, for the monstrosity known as the Horse Pigs (Boomer and Sooner) in 2004.
Top Daug made his debut during the run and gun days of the Billy Tubbs era. Billy didn’t want to the team to be known as under dogs, so he came up with the idea for a Top Daug mascot. Cheesy? Yes… but Top Daug was awesome. He had a bold, obnoxious personality, could spin his head around in circles, and whenever you had to suffer through a patented “OU Field Goal Drought” during the “heart, hustle, hardwood” days of the Kelvin Sampson era, he’d serve as reminder for how fun things used to be.
Anyway, I bring this up because one of the Horse Pigs actually did something cool during an OU basketball game and got in trouble for it.
Editor’s Note: We’d like to thank Gravy for another fine season of recapping the college football games. When you read this, I hope a little tear falls from your eye and drops in your whiskey. It would be fitting.
The Cheap Ass Sporting Goods Bowl was the perfect microcosm of the issues plaguing this program since the end of September.
A great way to exorcise the demons of Bedlam would have been a fast start. Not going three and out (including what should have been an INT on an awful, yet foreshadowing 3rd down pass from Trevor Knight). And certainly not giving up a 65 yard touchdown pass on the first play to an offense that mustered 17 points against Boston College, 16 points against Syracuse, and 6 points against Georgia Tech.
Fine. Whatever. Let’s regroup and play good, sound, fundamental football. Which would NOT include getting caught offsides on a fucking field goal attempt (that was blocked …) or getting caught *wait for it* offsides on a pick six. OR … throwing two GD horrific interceptions in the first half, one of which was returned for a touchdown. OR … continuing to give up 3rd down conversions by not covering a simple 7 yard out. OR … missing an extra point.
Again, perfect synopsis for the season.
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