Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Archive for Sports

The bible college that expelled a student for being gay just hired Dave Bliss…

dave bliss

The last time Southwestern Christian University made the news was in July of last year, when CNN reported that the unaccredited Bethany Bible college expelled an honor roll student after learning she married her same-sex partner in a New Mexico wedding ceremony.

That student’s name was Christian Minard, and apparently being gay and falling in love violated the school’s lifestyle covenant – an archaic, holy agreement all students must sign when applying to the school. The covenant, which is found on page four of this application, has four key sections…

1. We affirm and honor scripture…

2. We strive to live in obedience to Christ in word and deed…

3. We will actively participate in the community…

4. We strive to live with integrity…

Yep, apparently being gay and falling in love violates one of those core principles. That’s a shame, because Christian seemed like a good, ideal student. She once played basketball and was on the school’s honor roll. If only she could have been more “normal” (a.k.a. straight) and made false allegations against a murdered teammate, everything would have been fine.

I say that because Southwestern Christian University announced yesterday that Dave Bliss, one of the most disgusting sports figures of all time, will be the school’s next head basketball coach. If you don’t know Dave’s history, read this NewsOK.com article about the news:

The Oklahoma City Not-The-89ers unveiled their new mascots…

dodgers mascots

A few weeks back, the Oklahoma City Not-The-89ers held a contest to determine the names of their new mascots. After a couple of rounds of nominations and voting, their identities have been released:

After receiving over 1,000 submissions for new mascot names, and close to 2,000 votes during the finals, the Oklahoma City Dodgers announced their new mascots will be named Brooklyn (female) and Brix (male).

“We had incredible response from all of our fans who wanted to share their input from start to finish,” said OKC Dodgers President/General Manager Michael Byrnes. “Once we narrowed down the field, it became pretty evident Brooklyn and Brix were the most popular choices. It’s a great combo that not only honors the Dodgers’ history, but also places an emphasis on the local community.”

Brooklyn and Brix? I guess nobody with the Bricktown Association mentioned to the team’s new owners that the worst restaurant in Bricktown’s history was a sports bar called “Brix.” Considering Bricktown was once home to the Daiquiri Zone, that’s saying something.

Also, I’ve known 10 girls named Brooklyn and I’m pretty sure they’ve all asked me to donate $1 to a deejay fund at one time or another. Seriously, they really gave the mascot a stripper name. That would be cool… if it wasn’t the name of a different city. I don’t care about Dodgers history, that’s insulting. They should have gone with a regular stripper name like Diamond, Sage or Pixie.

If you think the names stink like a Bricktown Ballpark bathroom on Thirsty Thursday, check out what the mascots look like…

7 reasons why OSU should keep Travis Ford…

travis ford

Last night, disturbing reports trickled out of Stillwater claiming that Oklahoma State University is considering a buyout of Travis Ford’s contract.

Via ESPN.com:

The Oklahoma State Cowboys are considering the possibility of firing coach Travis Ford after being ousted in the first round of the NCAA tournament for the third straight year, sources confirmed to ESPN.com’s Jeff Goodman.

The chance of Ford being fired is “50-50,” one source close to the situation said.

The news was first reported by The Oklahoman, which cited multiple unnamed sources.

I’m not sure what strange world Cowboys fans live in, but getting rid of Travis Ford would be a colossal mistake. The guy can flat out coach! I know this from watching Bedlam basketball games over the years. Since Ford took over in 2008, he’s defeated my beloved Sooners something like six times. Yes, six times! That’s about .85 wins per season. Considering most universities go years, if not decades, without a victory against Oklahoma, that’s something OSU fans can hang their cowboy hat on.

When I first heard this news, my instinct was to start a Go Fund Me and raise enough money to keep Coach Ford around. He’s the perfect coach for OSU! But that seems like too much work. Instead, let me at least give some reasons why OSU fans, boosters and athletic directors should stick with him. Please remember that I’m not an OSU fan, and all this comes from an unbiased, outsider perspective…

1. He’s made the NCAA Tournament five times…

This is Ford’s seventh season at Oklahoma State, and he’s made the tournament in five of those seasons. In a day and age when only 68 teams make the NCAA Tournament, that’s quite an accomplishment.

2. He has won an NCAA Tournament Game…

Who could forget the Cowboy’s majestic run through the NCAA Tournament in the 2008 – 2009 season. Making the field as an under-the-radar 8-seed, the Cowboys snuck by Tennessee in the first round only to have their one shining moment stopped by a tough Pittsburgh squad.

3. He’s the country’s greatest recruiter of little white guys who can shoot…

Shannon Miller’s ex-husband was arrested for liking dangerous chemicals…

220px-Shannon_Miller_with_medals_in_gym_outfit

And you thought your ex was crazy…

Yesterday, weird news surfaced that Shannon Miller’s ex-husband was arrested in Canada after being linked to a large batch of dangerous chemicals, which probably means he was just a fledgling black market fracking fluid salesman.

From NewsOK.com via the AP:

The Oklahoman has proven that bigger isn’t always better…

Yesterday afternoon, the day after their sports department was widely criticized around the country for how they handled Berry Tramel’s edited, link-troubled column about Russell Westbrook’s “I don’t like you” dig, NewsOK.com plastered the following ad for their sports department all over the site. I’m sure it was just a coincidence, and had nothing to do with crisis management:

newsok ad

As a bad Seinfeld impersonator would say, who’s the ad genius that came up with that one?

I guess the message they’re trying to convey is The Oklahoman’s local sports coverage is the best because they have the biggest sports team in the state. As a guy who gets most of his Thunder news from DailyThunder.com, I would totally agree. As I tell my lovers, bigger is alway better. It’s why McDonald’s cooks the best hamburgers, Walmart sells the best groceries, and the Blue Whale is everyone’s favorite animal.

I also like how the OPUBCO copywriters brag about how the sports department delivers “more stories, more content and more insight” than anyone else. Yeah, isn’t that the truth. Who doesn’t read a Jenni Carlson column in the morning and scream “Wow. What amazing insight?!” before taking their pills and masturbating to anime porn. Seriously, insight in The Oklahoman? That would be like us saying we provide more courteous, thoughtful and respectful commentary than anyone.

Anyway, this gave me an idea. We should have one of those Photoshop contest things where we create our own fake ads for the The Oklahoman sports department.

Here are a few examples I rushed out