There are a lot of important milestones that I remember from high school. It’s a great time of your life where you’re meeting all sorts of goals and benchmarks, and skipping algebra class to smoke pot behind the dumpster at the Second Street Denny’s. You’re finally discovering who you were born to be, while also crying in a bathroom stall while people talk about you behind your back in the cafeteria.
Things like your driver’s test, going to prom, underage drinking, standardized tests, big football games, fingerbanging—all important parts of being a teenager in America. And for some, there’s also the letter jacket experience. That’s right, readers. I’m talking about being a jock. It’s that special condition that makes you better than everyone else because you are a player on the sportsball team….or band. But some kids in Moore won’t get to show off their sportiness.
According to KFOR.com:
The piece of bear love pictured above is Jonathan May. He’s an attorney for the Memphis law firm Thomason Hendrix. When he’s not fantasizing about lumberjacks or singing with the Fleet Foxes, he moonlights as a Memphis Grizzlies fan blogger for a website called “Grizz Blog.”
This past weekend, Brawny took the seven hour drive from Memphis to OKC to catch Game One of the Thunder – Grizzlies series. Naturally, he decided to blog about his experience. Here’s the title and first paragraph:
Behind Enemy Lines: A First Hand Account of “Loud City”
In retrospect, one could argue it was a mistake. We decided to drive to Oklahoma City at 5:00pm on Saturday. We knew it was a long way, but you cannot really appreciate the distance until you have been on the road for hours and realize you are still in Arkansas. Then there was that horrible moment. No, not the one when Kevin Durant hit the shot we knew he would hit. I’m talking about the one moment you cross the state line into Oklahoma and you’re renewed with excitement and anticipation, only to realize that you’re still 200 miles from Oklahoma City. Ultimately, we got into OKC at 1:30am Sunday. Just in time to grab five hours of sleep and head to the Chesapeake Energy Arena for an unreasonably early noon tip-off. I couldn’t be less impressed with what we found when we arrived…
Yep, some blogger decided to judge all Thunder fans and the entire organization based upon a Sunday morning playoff game. That’s about as fair as criticizing the looks of a one night stand on the morning after, or forming an opinion on Memphis based on what you’ve seen on the First 48.
That being said, May’s post wasn’t that bad. Yes, he broke one of my blogging rules. And yes, it was full of dumb and misleading arguments (Note to self: If I’m ever stuck in Memphis and need an attorney, do not hire Jonathan May), but I’ve read worse. It’s not like he called a Thunder Girl “chunky” or asked if a pig brings out the ball for the opening tip. In fact, there were a couple of snippets from his blog I kind of agreed with. Here they are:
If you’re like me, the only thing you really know about the Oklahoma City Barons is that their fans sometimes take up valuable parking spots during Thunder games. That’s a shame, because in addition to having attainable ice girls who probably hang out at Henry Hudsons, the Barons actually play a decent brand of hockey. I went to a few games last year and the players are fast, know how to skate, can handle a puck, and aren’t a bunch of amateur goons that sell cars on the weekends. Basically, they are the total opposite of those semi-pro Oklahoma City Blazers squads of the 1990s and aughts. I think that’s the biggest compliment you can give to a hockey team.
One example of the talent differential is the Barons Jonathan Cheechoo. Even though the dude is past his prime, he scored 50 goals during the 2005-2006 NHL regular season. You’d never see a player with those credentials in the old CHL. Scoring 50 goals in the NHL would be like a non-steroid era baseball player belting 40+ home runs in a season. It’s not the rarest feat in the world, but still pretty significant. If you’re not a sports fan and the baseball analogy made no sense, scoring 50 goals in a regular season would be like an OU frat boy legally hooking up with 10 hot girls in a calendar year. If you’re not a chauvinist pig and that analogy made no sense, I have to ask what you’re even doing on this website. Sports and inappropriate analogies are the only things we have going for us. Just ask our broads Marisa and Chelsea.
In addition to being a once prolific goal scorer, Cheechoo is also the focus of a hockey interent meme. Back when Cheechoo still played for the San Jose Sharks and his highlights would make SportsCenter, some strange hockey fan created “The Jonathan Cheechoo Song.” The fan’s wish was that the tune “be played evertime Jonathan Cheechoo scores.” In 2009, Cheechoo was traded to Ottawa, so the fan made a new version of the song. When Cheechoo’s career hit a low and he was sent around the minors, the fan recorded yet another version. And finally, after Jonathan Cheechoo was signed by the Barons earlier this season, this happened:
Hello again Thunder fans! After finally finishing the season and locking up the first seed in the Western Conference, the Thunder are headed to the playoffs! With their destiny in hand and new players in the rotation, it’s time to see if the Thunder truly have the power to return to the NBA Finals. Step 1 is beating James Harden.
But before we look ahead, let’s look back. The Thunder have accomplished a lot in a few short years, consistently improving and never-failing to excite. It only seems right to compile a list of their best wins and honor our rich history.
Here’s the criteria. For one, the game has to be a win. Losses can be fun to watch, but we wanted to get excited before the playoffs, not depressed. For two, the game has to be exciting. I love blowing out a team as much as the next guy, but I always feel better after a close win. Lastly, the game has to be judged on how significant it was at the time. A first round win might not seem like much right now, but back in 2010, it was the bees knees.
Anyway, without further ado, let’s get to it!
10. 2012 Mavs-Thunder Game 2
Western Conference First Round, Thunder Go Up 2-0
For me, this game was all about proving that the Thunder didn’t need a last second shot to beat the Mavericks. The Mavs were a constant thorn in their side that season, and gave them a serious run for their money during the first round of that playoff run. But the Thunder were able to sweep the Mavericks, and the second win really asserted their dominance. Sure, it came down to a last second shot, but the Thunder were able to nix the attempt twice. A deserving victory during a crucial time.
9. 2011 Nuggets-Thunder Game 3
Western Conference First Round, Thunder Go Up 3-0
Going into the 2011 Playoffs, we weren’t really quite sure what to expect. The Thunder weren’t exactly among the elite yet, but we all felt that they could get out of the first round. This was the game where they proved they could. Winning two games against the Nuggets at home is no joke, but going up 3-0 on the road was absolutely huge. They didn’t do it in the most grandiose fashion, allowing J.R. Smith to pull the Nuggets within a point, but it was still an impressive win nonetheless.
Image courtesy of William Bennett Berry.
This week, we eagerly anticipate the end of the season as the Thunder hopefully hold on to the #1 seed in the West and secure home court advantage throughout the playoffs. With the playoff extravaganza coming up, this leaves me with one last opportunity to do something silly before the serious train rolls into town. Thus, with tornado season right around the corner, what better opportunity do I have to compare Thunder players to roles performed in the newsroom? Never, that’s when!
Chief Meteorologist Kendrick Perkins
Okay, so Kendrick Perkins isn’t exactly the most congenial guy on the planet. But, as Gary England once informed us all, “It’s the attitude.” And if there’s one thing Kendrick Perkins can give us, it’s attitude. I mean, look at the commercial above. He was a friggin’ scientist! He laid down the FACTS! If he tells you there’s a storm in your neck of the woods, you better run to the hills!
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