Patrick asked me to write about something other than the Thunder. Since I produce this moderately popular semi-weekly column without pay, I should have just given him a big EFF YOU and mailed in yet another few paragraphs of “who gives a shit” and “when is Patrick going to fire this idiot.” But not me, for I am a professional.
And I suppose it could have been worse – he could have requested a retort to my last article, wherein I surmised the Thunder were cooked after two games on the Riverwalk.
Some of the highlights:
Last week, we offered cash bounties for any photographs of Charles Barkley enjoying his visit to Oklahoma City. We offered $1 for any pic of Barkley having a good time in OKC. We offered some bonus cash if anyone could get a pic of Chuck doing one of the following things (you can read a full breakdown here):
$2: Checking into the Skirvin
$3: Holding some golf ball size hail
$4: Enjoying some ice cream with Gan Matthews
$5: Hanging out with black people
$8: Getting drunk with Barry Switzer
$11: Pretending to help that statue guy push the big ball up the ramp in Bricktown
$14: Giving Scoot Brooks a noogie
$18: Flirting with Jaime Cerreta or Mike Stoops at Groovy’s
$23: Eating a Three Cheese Ziti Marinara Smart Ones in your
$30: Climbing to the top of the Devon Tower with Deeda Payton clasped in his hands
$38: Taking topless photographs of Kate Upton at the Myriad Gardens
$45: Planking on the Milk Bottle building
$50: Driving around the corner to get a blow job
$75: Punching Regular Jim Traber
$100: Hugging Cardboard Jim Traber
If you can believe it, one of our requests actually came through. Check out this photograph that an Ogle Boba Fett sent to us on Twitter:
So far, we’ve received a decent response to our Charles Barkley photo bounty contest. We’ve been sent a dozen or two photos, including a $5 gem of Charles standing with a black person! Cha-Ching, that’s a Lost Ogle Bounty Money Ball!
Anyway, we’ve also received a couple of pictures from Barkley’s first visit to Oklahoma City. It took place when Charles played for the Phoenix Suns. We posted this photo last week of a couple of ladies hanging with Chuck at the Bricktown Brewery, but I think this story is even better.
We received an email from Irving Middle School teacher Kendall Speer. She’s the girl in the photograph above, and may just be the biggest Charles Barkley fan in Oklahoma:
Yesterday afternoon we offered cash bounties for photographs of Charles Barkley in Oklahoma City. Since we posted our request, we’ve already received several submissions, including a $5 pic that shows Barkley having fun with a black person.
One picture, though, already takes the very very very large cake Barkley eats on a regular basis. It’s a picture of Chuck and a couple of ladies having fun at the Bricktown Brewery…in 1995.
Here’s the photograph and email:
That clearly describes the Thunder since the final buzzer of their series with the Lakers. Since May 21st, the Thunder have managed to plod their way through the first two games of the Western Conference Finals and somehow encourage some teenager to open fire into the post-game crowd. Well, that or the kid was trying to whack Joe Falcone for attempting pass off his Bricktown restaurant as classic Italian food.
Thanks! Your message has been sent!