Last week, Kelly Crull was unceremoniously released from her duties as the Oklahoma City Thunder sideline reporter. We’re not 100% sure why she was let go, but it probably wasn’t because the color of her eyebrows matched her skin tone, making it look like she lost them in a terrible sorority prank. That would be awful and mean.
“Kelly will not return as the sideline reporter for next season,” Dan Mahoney, vice president of communications and community relations, said in an email. “We are in the process of finding a new sideline reporter.”
Crull could not be immediately reached for comment.
I actually didn’t mind Kelly. Sure, all she had to do was lob meatball questions at the players and spout off the obvious when the camera was on her, but that was her job and she did it well. That’s something Brian Davis struggles with every day.
Anyway, regardless of the “why” she won’t be returning, the pressing question is, “who is going to replace her?” Patrick and I came up with 10 possible future sideline reporters for Berry’s Boomers:
Oklahoman sports columnist Berry “Boomer” Tramel is good at many things (like writing sports columns, coming up with lists and irritating the hell out of Jim Traber), but just like everyone else, he has some weaknesses.
For example, he’s not the best sports talk host in the world. Sure, he does okay on the Total Dominance Hour, but when he’s not flanked by loudmouths like Regular Jim Traber and Al Eschbach, he comes across as a bit flustered and confused. Plus, whenever he speaks I feel like I’m listening to a southern small town drunk who’s losing his voice and going through puberty at the same time. It’s very concerning.
Boomer’s also not the most photogenic person in the world. Back in the day, the only thing more entertaining than his sports column was his accompanying mug shot. Before he went with the semi-normal Grandpa look you now see today, Boomer spent the 1990s and early 2000s sporting some weird feather mullet hairstyle that would make any Firebird owner proud. To make the pics better, he smiled like a drunk at an AA meeting. Here’s an example:
Pretty scary, huh? I can’t decide if he looks like a carnie from the Indoor Fun Fair, a shift leader at Hibdon’s or someone who’s not allowed within 1,000 feet of a school or church. Maybe it’s all three. That being said, the pic has nothing on Boomer’s college ID from the University of Oklahoma. We acquired a copy of it via the Ogle Mole Network, and let me tell you, it’s an amazing thing of terrifying beauty and grace:
(Editor’s Note: Even though he has a weird name, Gravy Train is a practicing attorney in the OKC metro. He decided to read and breakdown The Freeh Report so we didn’t have to.)
“Haven’t they suffered enough?!”
Local Sports Radio Celebrity Craig Humphreys remitted his special brand of levity to a terrible American tragedy this week as news of the Penn State football program’s probation reverberated throughout the sports world. Of course, the Humpman was referring to the atrocities committed against the Penn State football program and not the rape victims. Excellent perspective from your tower in Oak Tree! Now give us your breakdown on this weekend’s Canadian Open.
This Monday, the NCAA levied damaging sanctions on the Penn State football program in direct response to the “Report of Special Investigative Counsel Regarding the Actions of the Pennsylvania State University Related to the Child Sexual Abuse Committed by Gerald A. Sandusky,” better known as The Freeh Report. Freeh, Sporkin & Sullivan was hired by Penn State to conduct an independent review of the Jerry Sandusky sex abuse scandal. The Freeh Report is a detailed report of the findings by the Freeh law firm. It was this report that NCAA President Mark Emmert used as a guideline in determining that Penn State violated the Bylaws and Constitution of the NCAA, thereby permitting the NCAA to sanction Penn State in whatever matter they sought fit.
I read the entire Freeh Report this week. This article is a focus on what we know as fact, what can be inferred from those facts, and whether the facts and inferences warrant the punishment handed down by the NCAA and the vilification of Joseph V. Paterno.
Earlier this week, Talkers Magazine — the “leading trade publication serving the talk radio industry in America” — unveiled their rankings of the 100 Most Important Sports Talk Radio Hosts in America. Coming in the 66-spot, ahead of such household names a JT “The Brick,” Lee “Hacksaw” Hamilton, and Steve “Homer” True was our very own “Regular” Jim Traber.
Here’s what they wrote about the ultimate yardbird:
Yesterday, we published the first two rounds of our first ever TLO Oklahoma Celebrity Fantasy Draft. Before we get to the rounds three and four, here’s how the teams are looking right now:
Justice League of Oklahoma: Kevin Durant (Rd 1), Brad Pitt (Rd 2)
The Nompton Stompers: James Harden (Rd 1), Mat Hoffman (Rd 2)
Wayne Payne Experience: Emily Sutton (Rd 1), Joleen Chaney (Rd 2)
Rick J. Steinkraus Fan Club: Aubrey McClendon (Rd 1), Chuck Norris (Rd 2)
Pillow Fighters: Russell Westbrook (Rd 1), Olivia Munn (Rd 2)
The Dirty Gingers: Gary England (Rd 1), Kristin Chenoweth (Rd 2)
Check out our picks for rounds three and four, along with Royce Young’s scathing instant analysis and draft grades after the jump:
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