Will Rogers, a founding father of the state of Oklahoma, used to say, “If you don’t like the weather in Oklahoma, wait a minute, it will change.” The truth behind the joke has been a major windfall for residents of this state. It gives them something to complain about.
While you will rarely meet a Minnesotan who will gripe about their perpetual freezing temperatures or someone from Arizona who won’t defend their climate as “dry heat,” the variety provided in Oklahoma’s borders allows the residents to bitch about whatever Mother Nature offers. In fact, the variety itself is something to raise the ire of Oklahomans.
Having lived in this state my whole life, I’ve seen high temperatures swing forty degrees from one day to the next and heard thunder claps and seen snow in the same 24 hour period. On those days when you wear shorts to pick up your morning paper and need a parka to walk your dog in the evening, hearing less than 500 people sarcastically say “You gotta love Oklahoma weather,” means you are probably a hermit.
There are three kinds of people who go to the State Fair:
1. People who are white trash
2. People who like to feel superior about themselves by people watching white trash
3. People who like corn dogs
I probably fall into all three categories, which is probably why I love The Great State Fair of Oklahoma®. Where else can you spend the equivalent of a fine steak dinner on deep fried garbage and walk out hungry? Where else does a chain-smoking clown make fun of your hair (and/or lack thereof) as you lob weighted baseballs at a tiny bulls-eye several feet above your head? Where else do you gladly fork over five dollars while standing in manure for a soft-serve ice cream cone just because you can watch cows being milked in the adjacent building?
Nowhere, that’s where.
In Oklahoma, the Fair is so popular that calling it a “state fair” is a misnomer. Both Oklahoma City and Tulsa host a yearly event that claims that title. One location cannot hold all of the trashy, stereotype affirming activities that are demanded.
Hate is a strong word, but when it comes to the rivalry between the University of Oklahoma and the University of Texas, it is the only word that fits.
Most Oklahomans would like for everyone to believe that it is the entire state of Texas they hate. Nothing comes from Texas but “steers and queers” (and God knows Oklahomans hate those things), they might say. But total disdain for our neighbors to the South is a myth.
Around the world, people dip boring foods in ranch dressing to make them taste better. Foods like carrots, celery, and Clark Matthews favorite, broccoli. In Oklahoma, we dip those foods in ranch, but we dip other types of foods, too. Foods that probably don’t need it. Foods like fried pickles, hot wings, loaded chili cheese & bacon fries, and most notably, pizza.
(edit. For the second time this week we are ripping off a popular concept from another website. We acknowledge that. Enjoy.)
Oklahoma is mainly known for petroleum, but the biggest cash cow in this state is frozen water. The technical term for it is “nugget ice,” but it can also be called “cubelets” or, according to one website, “rabbit turd ice.” Around here, it has only one name: Sonic Ice.
This comes about because Sonic, “America’s Drive In” which is based in this state, has become synonymous with producing little tiny pieces of ice that somehow take longer to melt and water down your overpriced soft drink. While this style of frozen water can be acquired in any location that has shelled out for the fancy ice maker, it makes no difference whether the drink was purchased at a Sonic, a gas station, or in your company break room. It is Sonic Ice.
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