The buzzfeedification of NewsOK.com is not slowing down.
Over the weekend, the website published a list of “10 Famous Oklahomans, Then and Now.” Just like other recent clickbait attempts, such as the sappy “5 Things Only Oklahomans Would Understand” and incredibly boring “10 Facts About Oklahoma You Might Not Have Known,” the article has been plastered all over NewsOK.com and has received 40,000 views in the last 24 hours.
Since we also want to get a lot of page views, we decided to come up with a list of “10 Oklahoma Reporters, Now and Then.” It’s LOL adorable.
The post is part of our renewed commitment to ridicule and mock the The Oklahoman whenever possible. I think we’re going to do something like this as a response to all their awful clickbait, so next week when you see a post on here titled “10 Oklahoma Country Musicians Who Don’t Look Like Cats” or “You Won’t Believe What Happens When This Dog Reads a Jenni Carlson Column,” you’ll understand why.
Anyway, to the post. Here are 10 Oklahoman Reporters, Now and Then…
10. Boomer (Berry) Tramel
According to sources, Boomer Tramel didn’t smoke a lot of pot in college. He’s just one of those guys who permanently looks, acts, thinks, and speaks like he just rolled a joint in a gas station bathroom.
The Oklahoma rape culture is going strong.
This morning, Norman High School students are protesting the way school officials have dealt with a series of sexual assaults, including one on campus, which led to victims being bullied, ridiculed and mocked by their fellow classmates. Thumbs up to these students and their parents for supporting the victims, doing what’s right, and drawing attention to another sad example of the rape culture in this state.
Unfortunately, Norman High students aren’t the only ones letting their opinion be heard. The Derplahomans have thoughts on sexual assault victims, too.
Not sure if everyone has heard about this or not, but Bill Cosby has been in the news a little bit lately. What seems like half of the women in North America have accused him of drugging and raping them, and it’s becoming clearer and clearer that he is (allegedly) a monster and a serial rapist.
Apparently Cosby was supposed to perform at the Choctaw Casino Resort in Durant in January, and the casino, being run by people with a functioning brain, made the obvious decision to cancel the performance. Since this is the internet, and everyone on the internet loves lists, let me present to you a list.
The Top Two Signs Your Career Is In Trouble
2. You’re performing at an Indian Casino in Oklahoma
1. An Indian Casino in Oklahoma Cancels Your performance
Apparently whenever Channel 4 puts anything on their Facebook page, it’s like the Derplahoman equivalent of the Bat Signal, because when they posted the Cosby story, a tsunami of them showed up. I’ll go ahead and put a possible trigger warning here, and a definite prepare-for-needing-to-take-a-shower warning.
Why didn’t they say anything at the time? Uhm, I don’t know. Maybe they didn’t want to be bullied and mocked like the sexual assault victims at Norman High School?! Because there are hundreds of idiots like the people above that would have called them liars as soon as it happened???
Those are two good places to start. Here are some more.
Every now and then, we like to take a look at some recent OKC Missed Connections posted to Craigslist. We do this to:
A) Feel better about ourselves
B) Live life vicariously through the minds of stalkers
C) Double check that we’re not listed in any of them
Anyway, with all the local criminals, idiots, media personalities, politicians, and Hipster Boo Boo’s apparently taking time off this week for an early Thanksgiving, I thought this would be a good time to see what sad, lonely, missed connections are out there.
Let’s take a look…
I know we live in Oklahoma and anything is possible, but I question the legitimacy of this post. The only part I really believe is that the guy was drunk, peed in the flowers and called someone a derogatory racist name, as opposed to a complimentary one.
Also, instead of setting up DUI checkpoints on random roads and inconveniencing law-abiding citizens, shouldn’t the Oklahoma County Sheriff just set up outside a Taco Bell or Jack In The Box on a Saturday night? They’ll catch so many intoxicated drivers that they’ll run out of room in the jail.
Isn’t this woman a little too picky to be meeting people on Craigslist? I’m pretty sure that 90% of the people who respond to these ads have eyes that point in opposite directions. It makes the bottom of the barrel look like a clean, well-lit place.
Also, I like how this “scholar” wants to have her first lesbian encounter be with a total stranger from the Internet, but she’s the one who wants to make sure the other person is not a psycho.
If you’ve read my rants on food trucks and gourmet burgers, you know that I’m a big supporter of the ol’ “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” adage. I mean, just because a french fry is doused in truffle oil and gouda cheese curds don’t necessarily make them better that their original version. I’m a firm believer in this notion, especially when it comes to things like milkshakes and Christmas lights and the raison d’être of teenage vampires.
However, when it comes to movie theaters, Grandma Chelsea is all for these newfangled improvements. You’d have to be crazy NOT to prefer chips and hummus over a soggy hot dog, or a leather recliner over a threadbare stadium chair a middle schooler almost certainly visited second base on for the first time. My prefered place to watch a movie is snuggled up on my couch, in my pajamas, with a mug of hot cocoa in one hand and my puppies at my feet. Any business that wants to replicate that sort of cozy comfort in a public setting has my attention.
So obviously, I’m pretty excited about the tricked-out Warren Theater they’re building in Broken Arrow.
From the Tulsa World:
As far as I’m concerned, Thanksgiving may as well be called Pie Day. I’m not to into the first few courses of the day because they take away valuable stomach real estate from pie. Anyway, you can eat birds, potatoes and dinner rolls any old day. But Thanksgiving is a special occasion because you can eat apple, pumpkin and pecan pie all in the same day. And bonus points if you pile loads of Cool Whip on top of said pie, like you’re erecting a monument to gluttony.
But I understand that not everyone is cool with only eating pie for a meal. To some, the turkey and stuffing is a very important part of the day. To others, various side dishes are the reason for the season. Recently, The New York Times published a piece about Thanksgiving dishes typical of each of the states. So, what was the most “Oklahoma” dish?
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