One of the big losers in Tuesday’s runoff election was wannabe politician Paul “I Was Never In The KKK” Blair.
Not only did the pro football player turned vending machine owner turned hate-spewing bigoted church minister lose his runoff to political newcomer Adam Pugh by a 55% to 45% margin, but he responded to the defeat by issuing a ridiculous letter via his advocacy group “Reclaiming America For Christ.”
Here’s one snippet that particularly stood out. Via Non Doc:
When we last left Louis, he was plum tuckered after an exhaustingly unironic day at Silver Dollar City and an exhilarating night seeing the incomparable Shoji Tabuchi in concert. Tucking himself tightly in with the highly expensive comforter on best bed he’s ever slept in courtesy of the Village at Indian Point, Louis drifts off to slumberland, dreaming of fudge and cookie cutters and American pride…
Come Back to the Five and Dime, Louis Fowler, Louis Fowler
Have you ever been in a whirlpool tub?
I have and I have never felt so clean in my life. Those high-powered jets blast-washed every nook and cranny while I just sat back and relaxed, thinking this is what s must feel like to be Prince Akeem of Zamunda. I’m sure you can guess why.
Today’s activities in Branson started with a morning trip to Dick’s 5 & 10, 103 W. Main St., a massive take on the classic “dime store’ model that feels like an over-stuffed mixture of Hobby Lobby, Spencer’s and that one room in your grandma’s house filled with the remnants of her secret shopping addiction shame—seriously, do you need a weather vane that says “Live, Laugh, Love”? How many ceramic pig chef cookie jars does one person need? Didn’t you get your fill of cookie-cutters at Silver Dollar City yesterday?
Of course, I say that and then I come upon their shelf of Beatles merch. Being an absolute Fab Four obsessive, I was tempted to splurge on Christmas ornaments (forget I never have a tree), coffee mugs (forget I don’t drink coffee) and…uh oh…a 27 by 40 art print where the moptops from Liverpool are anachronistically conversing and eating pie with Elvis, Jimi Hendrix, James Dean, Dale Earnhardt and Princess Di in a 50s-style diner.
“Boy, I sure do wonder what they are talking about in this picture…” I said to myself, mentally formulating the outline for some sort of fanfic piece, as I handed the Dick’s clerk my credit card.
Duck and Run
Earlier today, a petition requesting Mary Fallin change the name of Durant, Oklahoma to Westbrook made the rounds on the Internet. So far, it has over 300 supporters.
Here are the details:
Ladies and gentlemen, the great state of Oklahoma has been betrayed. As many of you know, Kevin Durant has left our state, torn out our hearts, and left our beloved Oklahoma City Thunder in depleted shape. All of this after even being offered a cabinet position for the State of Oklahoma. It is because of this heinous action that I believe the State of Oklahoma has a responsibility to change the name of the City of Durant to Westbrook, the man who is loyal, whom we believe in, and who will lead our team to glory. Yes, it is understood that the city Durant was not named after the evil Kevin Durant, but it is just another hideous reminder of what happened to our community. Support the Cause. #WestbrookOK.
This is a great idea! While we’re at it, I say we petition the Governor to change the name of Picher to Singler. We should also try to convince Cameron Payne to change his name to Cameron Wayne-Payne. He’d instantly become my favorite player.
Because we live in an over-sensitive world where dumb people can’t spot a joke, some folks are upset by the idea:
It’s been a little over a year since the Oklahoma City acquired two elephants – Bamboo and Chai – from Seattle. The move was criticized by animal rights activists, Bob Barker and the Save Our Sonics crowd who thought moving two senior animals 2,000 miles to live in Oklahoma City with an established pride of elephants they’ve never met was a bad idea, and could endanger the animals’ health and well-being.
It’s pretty safe to say the critics were right. After arriving in Oklahoma, Chai passed along a fatal herpes virus to the Oklahoma City Zoo’s baby elephant Malee. Just a couple of months after that, Chai died due to a blood infection. Now the one remaining elephant from Seattle, Bamboo, is apparently being bullied and tormented by the rest of the elephants.
Via the best source for news about our zoo, The Seattle Times:
Earlier this week, an atheist named Matt from Muskogee was looking for some attention and donated $100 to the Murrow Indian Children’s Home. It’s a Christian-based organization in Muskogee that “provides home for American Indian children that are in out-of-home placement as a result of abuse and neglect.” Sounds like a good cause to support, right?
Unfortunately for the kids, Matt’s donation came with a blasphemous caveat. He wanted it to be in the memory of the “Muskogee Atheist Community,” a group he co-founded. Since atheists are vile hedonistic beings who live filthy, depraved lives full of sin, excess, general tomfoolery and happiness, the donation was refused, and now we have a controversy on our hands.
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