Hello everyone. Yet again you come to me in droves with the deep philosophical question, “what should I do this weekend?” As always, I deliver. This week I give you four choices, one more golden nugget of fun than usual. I then, like a locust, disappear, not to be heard from again for six days (some locusts actually go underground for 13 to 17 years, but you get the point).
Compared to the other writers of TLO, I’m not very visible. I’m not a stand-up comedian like Spence, an unprofessional librarian like Marisa (which are all the rage at the moment), or own a media empire like Patrick. I’m like Howard Hughes without the success or syphilis.
I guess seeing me is like witnessing ball lightning or the Lochness Monster, except for the fact that you wouldn’t care if you saw me. This tells me that I need to open a new chapter in the life of Adam.
First, I need a suit that says “I own this room.” Second…….well, I don’t have a “second.” I guess that’s my problem. I don’t know where to go after the suit. Oh well, if you need me, I’ll be at my house, in a suit, owning the room.
Yesterday, an Ogle Mole who for some reason follows Daryl Hannah on Facebook sent me these screenshots from the actress’ page. I guess she doesn’t like fracking and/or Oklahoma earthquakes:
Not that it matters, but can someone explain what the big deal is–or better yet–was, with Daryl Hannah? She’s the most successful actress in history to both have a man’s name and face. Was she supposed to be “hot?” If so, I just never got it. I remember watching Splash as a kid and thinking “He’s going to go live underwater for her?” and “Why’s her hair always covering her boobs?”
Of course, you haven’t heard or seen this story anywhere else, because – surprise, surprise – our local media doesn’t take the thoughts, views and opinions of Daryl Hannah very seriously. Apparently, they’ve never seen that movie where she and Sean Connery are bad ass scientists and develop a cancer vaccine in the rainforest. Even if they did, it wouldn’t matter. For the local media to take you seriously regarding the connection between the fracking industry and earthquakes, you have to work for an oil company.
That’s what happened yesterday when Continental Resources Vice President of Geology Glen Brown gave a speech at a luncheon:
Via News 9:
I knew we should have taken out Bieber when we had the chance.
As if all the Kevin Durant to DC talk hasn’t been torturous enough, here’s some more annoying news to irritate Thunder fans. Justin Bieber and Kevin Durant had brunch.
Dammit, Justin Bieber, Stay The Hell Away From Kevin Durant
According to Justin Bieber’s Instagram account, which is usually a repository for the pop singer’s embarrassing and fraudulent basketball “highlights,” Biebs recently grabbed a quick brunch with Kevin Durant. Fuck you, Justin Bieber.
Look man, you already have plenty of famous athlete buddies, but we don’t care when you hang out with them because those guys were exceedingly punchable before they met you. We don’t want to feel like punching Kevin Durant. We like Kevin Durant. Don’t fuck this up for us!
That Deadspin article sums it up nicely. Leave KD alone, Biebs! Then again, this isn’t the first time KD has appeared on Bieber’s Instagram. Maybe we need to tell Kevin Durant to leave Bieber alone? That will be an awkward chant at the Peake. When Bieber starts hanging out at hookah bars, we’ll know it’s time.
Anyway, the person who has to be getting the biggest laugh out of this is Russell Westbrook. While Durantula and the Biebs were trying to figure out what to do at the do-it-yourself Bloody Mary bar, Russ was giving Megan Fox the vapors.
From Megan Fox’ Facebook Page:
Unless you’re a fan of depressing stories about assholes who torture dogs, it’s been a slow news week here in the Sooner state. Because of that, I thought it would be fun to share some “You won’t believe what happens in these Oklahoma YouTube videos” that have accumulated in my “stuff to maybe write about someday” bookmark folder.
The first is the directorial debut of Nigerian Prince impersonator Annette Colbert-Latham. Remember her? She’s the lady who tried to dupe people into thinking Bravo was filming a “Real Housewives of Oklahoma City” pilot. She also brought Danny Glover to Oklahoma City for a lavish fundraiser that wasn’t very lavish.
Well, in an “improvisational moment,” Annette wrote a 5-minute screenplay called “Love To Go” and found some Oklahoma City Community College students willing to act it out for her. Sound amazing?
Check it out:
This weekend, Tulsa is hosting the second annual Center of the Universe festival. Headliners include Young the Giant, Awolnation, Fitz and the Tantrums, Cold War Kids, Capital Cities, Twenty One Pilots, DJ Jazzy Jeff, and several others. Obviously, this is pretty cool.
To commemorate the exciting weekend we have ahead, I’ve made a mobile drinking game to play as you’re wandering around from band to band. Go ahead and take a screenshot of the list for easy access, tell all your friends and get excited. Once you’re good and liquored up, take a picture of you and your amigos and tweet it at me. I’ll totally favorite the best one. Who knows, if it’s funny/scandalous/naked enough, I might even be able to convince Marisa to include it in TLO’s Monday Morning Tweets!
Lets get to it.
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