Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Archive for The Lost Ogle

That LGBT Ally license plate guy is a certified whack job…

Dr. John Patrick Keefe II

Back in March, local “bail bondsman” Dr. John Patrick Keefe II made local and national headlines when his request for the personalized license plate “LGBTALY” was turned down by the Oklahoma Tax Commission. Apparently they thought the plate was sexual in nature. Based on Keefe’s history, I don’t think you can blame them.

Earlier this week, Keefe made the news again after being arrested for allegedly forcing a woman to perform oral sex on him while posing as a bounty hunter.

Via KOKH.com

An Edmond man who gained national attention over a state license plate dispute has been arrested and transported to the Oklahoma County Jail.

John Keefe is charged with a felony count of violating the bail enforcement act. He was arrested Tuesday evening at a Chili’s restaurant in Midwest City.  The district attorney tells Fox 25 that Keefe acted as a bounty hunter without a proper license.  Court documents say the incident happened in March, in Edmond, when Keefe allegedly detained a woman.  An officer said in a probable cause affidavit that the woman claimed Keefe forced her to perform oral sex in exchange for not taking her to jail.  The probable cause affidavit says Keefe has been through bail enforcement training, and his license is currently pending, but it says “he is not a licensed bail enforcement agent.”

Instead of LGBTALY, maybe this guy should apply for the license plate “CREEPER,” “SEXPRED” or “CUCKOO.” I don’t think the tax commission will deny any of those.

In all honesty, this report isn’t very surprising. Keefe has been on the TLO radar since way back in January when someone alerted us to the following Craigslist ad. We didn’t cover it at the time, which was probably a mistake…

Video Vigilante calls B.S. on woman who claims she was almost a Hobby Lobby sex slave…

video vigilante

By now, you’ve probably seen the Facebook post a local woman shared a few days ago about being stalked by a human trafficker at the Hobby Lobby on I-40 and MacArthur. Since it was posted on Tuesday evening, the status update has been shared a whopping 141,000 times. Repeat: 141,000 times! To put that in perspective, Aaron Tuttle’s bogus F5 tornado weather forecast that nearly “took down the Internet” only registered 3,000 shares.

Here’s the post in its entirety. The ordeal reads like it was ripped from the pages of a Lifetime screenwriters camp:

hobby lobby abduction

Okay, so maybe there’s a plot hole or two with the story, some hearsay, a few logical fallacies, and plenty of unanswered questions like “Why didn’t you call 911 inside the store?” or “How do you know she wanted to kidnap you?” or “Why didn’t you use a wall ornament as a shield, point a glue gun at the woman, and then tell her to slowly back off?” But no one cares about all that. This woman had a traumatic experience at a Hobby Lobby. The last thing we want to do is vet the story, question her decision-making, or check to see if any of her statements and /or general assumptions are true. We live in an idiocratic society! Let’s just take the woman for her word, share the status update, stir up some fear, and then forget about it and move along with our lives. Easy enough, right?

Well, not if you’re the Video Vigilante. Brian “Mastur” Bates decided to step up to the plate and put this possibly paranoid woman who thinks she was almost a victim of human trafficking in her place. In an epic blog post, he dissected and fact checked the woman’s entire story. The synopsis? He calls “bullshit.”

Via John TV:

Some guy dine-n-dashed Joe’s Crab Shack and crashed his motorcycle

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There are many impressive things about this story I’m about to share with you, and not one of them is the fact that he managed to leave Joe’s Crab Shack without food poisoning and/or having to march around the place in a sombrero while the staff sings “Happy Birthday.”

From News on 6:

It’s time to freak out about ticks, Oklahoma

tick virus

Remember when everyone freaked out about West Nile and H1N1 and ebola? Those were some fun times. All your germophobe friends were telling you that everyone was going to die, and all your burn out friends were turning broadcasts about the viruses into drinking games. Don’t you miss the mass hysteria associated with diseases you probably won’t get because you’re too busy sitting on your couch and watching Netflix to interact with other people or creatures that could give you any diseases?

Well, don’t worry. It’s time to get super stressed about a cool new disease you can get from the ticks in your backyard. According to News9.com:

6 things Edmond could’ve done with $50,000

Oklahoma Indian statue

Let me begin this post by saying that I love public art. All of it. It doesn’t matter what it is, or if I “get it.” I like art for art’s sake. I mean, I have multiple worthless degrees in creative writing, so I’m not the type of person to hate up on beautiful stuff that I get to see. But more than the art, I like the artists behind it. I think it’s important that artists are paid for the work they do. They’ve spent years studying and practicing, and they deserve it. And if you disagree with that, and think that the world doesn’t need art, then I hope you go live in a world that basically a bunch of boring beige buildings that all look alike, you heartless weirdo.

Anyway, I say all this because the City of Edmond bought some art. And, well, it’s not exactly what I’d think to purchase if I were on a committee to decide what art a city should buy. According to KFOR.com:

EDMOND, Okla. — A massive new statue unveiled in Edmond has garnered a lot of mixed opinions.

Tax dollars paid for it, but not everyone is happy about it.

Well, no shit. Anything that happens in a city is totally paid for by taxes. Where the hell else would money come from? A rich benefactor that just wants to give dollars for no good reason?

Sorry. I just had to state that because the headline KFOR went with for this story was “Taxpayer money paid for massive new statue unveiled in Edmond.” That’s a really unnecessary way to rile up people by stating the obvious. Also, you can’t alway be happy about where your tax dollars go. NO ONE EVER IS. But this is part of being a human in a society, so suck it up, crybabies.

At 18 feet, this depiction of an Indian chief is now the biggest work of art in Edmond.

It used to be outside the Houston Astrodome until the city bought it for $50,000.

At a hefty 20,000 pounds, you can’t miss it driving down 2nd street in Edmond. The new piece of public art is taller than Italy’s statue of David.

“It’s part of what we do to beautify the community, public art has become that,” Edmond city spokesman Casey Moore said.

City leaders say a citizen suggested council members take a look at buying the statue when the Houston Rodeo and Livestock Association put it up for sale.

“This piece is called ‘Touch the Clouds,’ which is the name of the Indian chief that’s depicted. He was a chief that was around back in the 1800s,” Moore said.

Wow. So, gigantic Native American chief. That’s exactly what I think of when I think of Edmond, Oklahoma. It really is a center for Native American art and culture. This purchase makes sense.

Just kidding. This made me think of all the great and wonderful things that the City of Edmond could do with that kind of money. And I came up with 6 alternate suggestions for how the City of Edmond should spend that money…