Usually we let Adam cover these events in Friday Night in the Big Town, but I felt this one deserved its own write up.
Tomorrow night, Oklahoma broadcasting legend Brent Skarky – the three-time Ozarka Water “Coolest Man You’ll Ever Meet Who Pees Sitting Down” award winner – is throwing the Oklahoma City Halloween Parade and Party in Automobile Alley in Downtown.
Yes, you read that correctly, Brent Skarky is throwing a parade. That’s kind of impressive and cool. It makes you wonder what the world is coming to. Before you know it, Dave Morris is going to buy a food truck.
Here’s a fantastic commercial with all the parade details:
Is it weird to anyone else that the internet is old enough to have nostalgia? I mean, Windows 95 is now the Nintendo Entertainment System of operating systems. Like Nintendo did with home video games, Windows 95 brought internet to the mainstream. The suspense you felt as you listened to the dial-up sound, praying you would connect on the first try was the same as hoping Zelda would load without blowing into the cartridge.
I admit it, i miss flying toaster screen savers, Space Cadet Pinball, and hell, even this sound. Today we are annoyed when Angry Birds takes more than 15 seconds to install from internet that appears out of thin air, but then I would watch the Netscape lighthouse spin, hoping that my 28.8k modem could load the Hamster Dance in 30 seconds to a minute.
Anyways, I guess what this all means is that I’m older, but there was something about the wait of slower internet that made things special, much like how making a mix cassette tape involved some time and passion, unlike sharing a playlist. Oh well, if you need me I’ll be watching a choppy version of Weezer’s “Buddy Holly” video while playing Minesweeper.
The Furries are coming… again.
For the 11th year in a row, Roman Nose State Park in Watonga, Oklahoma, will be home to Oklacon, the largest outdoor furry convention in the world. And no, we’re not joking.
If you have live a sheltered life and don’t know what a furry is, it’s basically a person who likes to dress up in an animal or mascot costume and assume a different persona. A furry convention, on the other hand, is where furries gather to talk, interact, mingle and have sex with other furries while dressed in their costumes. Make sense?
Okay, okay, it’s not entirely that way. That’s just a stereotype. To get a better understanding of a furry convention, watch this highlight video from 2011:
So, who wants to drive up to Watonga and trip acid with me this weekend? That looks like the most amazing and or terrifying thing in the world. I wonder if Rumble was there in disguise…
Anyway, this is usually the part of the post where we examine the Oklacon website, crack some jokes and write other immature things in an attempt to boost our own self-esteem and feel better about our own normal mundane lives. But before we do that, let me tell you a kind of embarrassing, yet somewhat funny thing about me.
I was once a furry.
Well, kind of…
On Halloween night, I have one major rule: no one over the age of 12 gets candy from me. Unless they have an intellectual disability, of course.
Sure, call me a jerk, but Halloween, at least as we celebrate it in this country, is for children and I refuse to contribute to the arrested development of today’s youth by awarding them with treats for doing nothing more than sullenly holding out a pillowcase and whimpering “trick or treat” under their affected breaths. Get a job, you Bieber-haired punks!
No, Halloween is a time when the only costume an adult should wear is that of a patient homeowner, a well-worn mask of faux-interest covering the face every time a toddler dressed as a Ninja Turtle shows up at the door or a group of neighborhood kids in shoddy Avengers costumes come a knockin’. But just because you’re a responsible grown-up doesn’t mean you can’t have fun—instead of going to that lame costume party where you’ll invariably leave alone, sexually frustrated yet again, why not kick back with some state-pride and enjoy a few Made in Oklahoma horror flicks where the only thing scarier than the monsters are the production values.
THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2 (1986, 20th Century Fox)
Its OU/Texas weekend and malformed butcher Leatherface is saying “Meat-hook ‘em horns!” as he buzzes his way through purposely grating Oklahoma yuppies in the opening of this satirical sequel to the groundbreaking 1974 original.
A pair of drunk Sooners, bobbing and weaving on their way to Dallas, piss off the chainsaw-wielding maniac and his equally eccentric family of Texas football fans, and are, in turn, brutally dismembered and turned into chili—award-winning chili! And that’s just the first five minutes of a movie that is an over-the-top 101 minutes and even features a manic Dennis Hopper in a beautifully choreographed chainsaw duel that has to be seen to be believed. Doomer, Sooner!
Have you ever driven out to get a fast food breakfast on a Saturday morning while hungover and stumbled across a show on public radio where some quirky funnyman reviews current events, interviews important celebrity guests, and plays a trivia quiz with people from a live studio audience?
Well, guess what. That program was not “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me.” It was actually a different nationally broadcast public radio show called Michael Feldman’s “Whad’Ya Know?” It will be broadcasting live this Saturday morning at the new OCCC Visual and Performing Arts Center Theater.
In case you’re a loser and not familiar with this insanely popular radio program, here’s a description:
Michael Feldman’s Whad’Ya Know? is live radio at its best. Host Michael Feldman entertains and amuses with his own brand of humor and comic asides as he enlightens with “All The News That Isn’t”, interviews guests, trades quips with members of the live studio audience and quizzes two lucky contestants vying for unique prizes during the Whad’Ya Know? Quiz, a general knowledge trivia quiz. The Whad’Ya Know? Jazz Combo featuring John Thulin on piano, Jeff Hamann on bass, and occasionally the legendary Clyde Stubblefield on drums delight with their cool jazz sound. Come on down and be a part of our live audience, talk to Michael on air and play the quiz – your fifteen minutes of fame are waiting for you!
Wow, that’s pretty damn cool. I guess OKC really is becoming a “Big League City.” Before you know it, This American Life will come to town to do a profile on the Hefner Canal Goats.
Anyway, when Whad’Ya Know? hits the road, they usually interview and feature A-list celebrities from the area. You know, handsome men with gray hair like George Clooney, Richard Gere or Taylor Hicks. Which locals did they book for the Oklahoma City show?
Here are the details via KGOU:
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