Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Archive for The Lost Ogle

Nancy Lieberman had fun with the dry erase board…

Last night, the Thunder trotted out an injury depleted roster for their opening game of the season against the Portland Trailblazers. The game was fun game to watch for three-quarters. Westbrook was absolutely amazing, the team played hard, and some guy named Lance Thomas looked decent, but ultimately Berry’s Boomers fell apart in the 4th quarter and were defeated by double digits.

Nancy Lieberman, the Thunder studio analyst for Fox Sports Oklahoma, summed up the 4th quarter of game with this diagram:

TLO Haunted House Review: Terror on 10th

Oklahoma City Haunted House

My father used to play a fun game with me wherein he would hide behind a door and wait for me to come home from school. As soon as I walked over that threshold, out he would pop, leather belt in hand, and begin beating me until I could barely walk.

I guess you could say that’s the main reason why I’ve always avoided going to funhouses. The whole idea of things jumping out from the shadows to scare you—the meat and potatoes of what these places are built on—was just something that I couldn’t get into.

But, like many a survivor in a horror film who’s been through a traumatic experience, I stupidly felt that it was time to confront my fears of being afraid, once and for all; I could no longer allow those things that keep me from entering dark rooms or sleeping without a nightlight continue to rule my life. It’s been a demon that I’ve needed to slay for far too long and what better way than pay some professionals to do the job Native American Mental Health Services couldn’t.

Perhaps the most popular spook-houses in Oklahoma City are the ones of the more EXXXTREME!!! variety that are proud to offer five scream-filled levels of bloodcurdling horror in a vacant Bricktown building where a waiver must be signed and a ticket price of $30 ($1 off with a Pepsi can!) kick off the horrific proceedings.

At first I thought that maybe one of those high-profile, top-dollar downtown haunts is where I should start, but, as I learned the hard way, the scariest thing about those downtown places isn’t what’s inside—it’s the drunken rednecks, sweating in their wife-beaters and growing increasingly agitated as the ever-lengthening Saturday night line doesn’t seem to budge for hours on the outside, looking to pick fights with anyone and everyone. After about 20 minutes of some guys behind me doing just that, I left the scene, totally prepared to scrap this whole piece.

And besides, I reckoned on the drive home, let’s be honest: how scary can a corporate, multi-million dollar indoor premier haunted attraction that features all of the latest EFX from Hollywood be anyway? I watched as people came out the exit, laughing and cavorting like it was nothing. There was no mystery, no fear and, worst of all, no reason to bother. A bunch of underpaid teens and fog machines, inebriated sweathogs and three bills to top it off? No thanks. I’ll just live with my fear another year.

That is until…

Here’s another reason to never trust a guy with a beard…

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I’m straight-up sick of the ZZ Top beard. While a healthy beard can be pretty sexy when pulled off correctly (see Ryan Gosling in The Notebook or Marisa’s man candy), most dudes with excessive facial hair end up looking well…like a terrorist or that fire-and-brimstone patriarch of Duck Dynasty. A caveman beard is overplayed, not aesthetically pleasing, and the only kind of statement it makes at this point is that you probably enjoy telling people you play the mandolin and pay way too much for shitty coffee.

Not to mention, something about an navel-length beard is inherently creepy. Pair that with shifty eyes or any kind of atypical behavior, and you can’t really blame the public for some sort of moral panic. Is it right? Of course not, you’re a Lost Ogle reader and therefore know the derplahoman dangers of jumping to conclusions based on physical appearance.

So can we really blame the locksmith for this sort of a mix-up? From New on 6:

You can’t use Facebook to tell dudes you’re pregnant anymore

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The worst thing about going out on a Friday night is the chance that you may run into someone who you used to know. And I mean that in the Gotye-sense of the phrase. Seriously, running into people you used to date is the worst, and it seems to happen a lot in Norman, where the townie scene is uncomfortably small. Couple this with the fact that if you live in the OKC Metro area then you know everyone by two degrees of separation, and it can feel really uncomfortable.

At least with social media, you can block people you don’t care to see or speak to anymore. And the State Supreme Court seems to agree. According to KFOR.com:

OKLAHOMA – Is a Facebook message an adequate way to notify a guy he’s going to be a dad?

That was the question answered by a recent Oklahoma Supreme Court Case, and it could have far-reaching implications for father’s rights in our state.

The case centered around Billy McCall who had a three-month relationship with a woman.

After they broke up, McCall says she realized she was pregnant with his baby and sent him a Facebook message letting him know.

McCall says he never got that message and didn’t find out about his daughter until she’d been put up for adoption after her birth.

For reals, guys. Check your “other” messages in Facebook. I guarantee that you have at least 3 messages from people you REALLY do not want to talk to, but you never got the notification because they aren’t on your friend on Facebook. It’s a great way to invite people to do things when you really don’t want them to attend. Keep this in mind for when you have to disclose to someone who you gave them herpes:

We found something more disgusting than listening to Regular Jim Traber…

Brenda Mettler 42 Robert S. Mettler

The sick assholes pictured above are Robert and Brenda Mettler from Claremore. Last week, they became the newest Oklahomans to be caught performing and/or filming human sex acts with dogs.

Via The Tulsa World:

A Claremore couple was arrested on bestiality complaints after police found at their home a video showing a dog performing oral sex on the wife.

Yeah, sorry about that. I should have warned you that this is a graphic and disgusting story. It’s worse than listening to this audio clip of Regular Jim Traber getting into a yelling match with an OU football player’s dad. I guess you can always count on bestiality to make Jim Traber seem tolerable.

Here are more disgusting details: