Now that OU sucks at football again, I guess it’s time to turn our attention to another depressing thing at the University of Oklahoma: The state of the marching band.
Around this time last year, members of The Pride of Oklahoma grumbled and complained about the direction and leadership of the program under new band director Justin Stolarik. Things got so heated and awful that the band released a set of demands to David Boren and the tuba players threatened to strike (and / or switch to mellophone). Hell, I even compared Stolarik to Howard Schnellenberger and suggested he resign. That’s how bad things were.
Much like the Pride’s halftime marching performances, all the drama and demands apparently fell on deaf ears. David Boren wasn’t going to let a bunch of virgins, Doctor Who fans and every good boy who does fine tell him how to lead his university. Stolarik was his guy and he was sticking with him.
Well, the controversy is now heating up again like a flute at band camp. Last week, alumni band leaders pooled together some cash they earned through teaching private lessons and advertised an open letter to David Boren in The Oklahoman, Tulsa World and Norman Transcript. I guess they forgot to email us for ad rates. Silly band nerds. They were probably too busy wetting their reeds or something.
Anyway, the alumni band complained about the direction of the program and the University’s totalitarian way of keeping things quiet.
Via the Tulsa World:
NewsOK’s polls are the best. They dig deep into the average Oklahoman’s psyche to see what’s on our minds, our opinions on newsworthy events, and what makes us tick. I cannot live through a day without a dose of the mind-churning reflection these questions provide.
For example, as of this moment, which is way too late, or early Friday morning, our state’s foremost news source asks us this philosophical question:
“Have you been to every county in Oklahoma?”
Did you feel that shockwave of Platonian dialogue in your chest? If you did not, you aren’t truly living. How about this enigmatic question from yesterday?
“Do you like pumpkin pie?”
I bet that one made you question your belief in God. It is said that the critical thinking skills of today’s youth are not properly tested. Yesterday, reports from this same news source said that for the second straight year, Oklahoma ranks number one in student spending cuts.
To that I say “hooray!” We should cut more. Let’s just send our students to the NewsOK poll three times a day and let their mind be blown. Heck, all we will need to provide is a cheap Acer tablet, a half-pint of chocolate milk and a fruit roll-up.
See, it’s fixed. I don’t see what all the commotion is about.
Here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.
Image courtesy of William Bennett Berry.
It’s been a long off-season, but we’re only a few weeks away from the regular season tip-off of Thunder basketball. But before we get into what our team will do on the court, let’s take a look back at what the players did over the Summer, using absolutely ridiculous social media posts and my personal anger as your guide.
So, here’s the Thunder’s off-season from my perspective. At the close of last season, the Thunder had three players under contract (Durant, Westbrook, and Ibaka) that should have played very major roles on international teams in the 2014 FIBA Basketball World Cup. I was excited, because I’m the only person in the world that really loves international basketball. Thus, I applied for press credentials and booked travel to Spain, along with travel to follow Team USA’s exhibitions. Shortly after I did that, Russell Westbrook decided not to play for Team USA. Then, disaster struck when Under Armour offered KD a lot of money, and Paul George forced KD to face his own mortality. Durant decided to quit Team USA in the middle of training camp. I was now stuck covering a team that had absolutely no relation to my Thunder-centric website. Serge Ibaka would be at the competition, but his team was staggered on the other side of the bracket, and thus at the other side of the country for the vast majority of the competition. As it would turn out, I’d never see Serge Ibaka play live.
So, how was Serge Ibaka’s 2014 FIBA competition? Well, I’d say it can be effectively summed up in this picture:
If our Oklahoma State Fair Photo Contest ever has a soundtrack, I think it should be written and performed by the local band Chronik Kondition. Here they are performing at this year’s fair.
If they turn us down, we could always go with MC Shit Stainz. Remember him? He was a semi-finalist in this year’s contest. We were wrong, and I guess that was not a poo or chili or an Indian taco stain on his shorts. It apparently was a poo or chili or Indian taco pattern. Here’s a clip of his performance:
Enough with all that stuff. Today we have the final round of our final Oklahoma State Fair Photo Contest. View the photos and vote for your favorite after the jump.
I don’t know a lot about Bill Hader. That’s probably a good thing. I know he’s from Tulsa, was a cast member on SNL and has played the role of “Dumb Cop” in several movies, but that’s about it.
Anyway, Bill hosted SNL last week and gave a little dig to his hometown in the opening part of his monologue. Check it out:
In all honesty, that’s not so bad. It’s not like he performed a sketch where his employer transferred him to the Tulsa office.
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