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It’s a simple question: Would you eat the moon if it were made of ribs.

Published by
Patrick
 on June 20, 2008

Back in December, we ranked the “Top 7 Awesomely Bad Local Commercials.” Topping the list was the now infamous Mr. Spriggs BBQ Commercial found below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PkgOqVdpkU

It’s hard to believe, but that video has now become somewhat of a small internet sensation. The YouTube video has been played nearly 50,000 times, and super sites like College Humor and Stupid Videos now host it. That’s all great, but now we’ve learned this: Will Ferrell has highlighted the video on his FunnyorDie page. Here’s what Mr. Ferrell said:

Usually even a good commercial makes me think “Yeah, right. Of course you’re saying that. You wanna sell your thing.” This video makes me want to move to Oklahoma and eat Mr. Spriggs for breakfast, lunch, dinner and Taco Bell fourth meal. Enjoy the joy.

Will F*cking Ferrell is pimping Mr. Spriggs BBQ. I think this proves that anything in this world is possible (except for maybe Mr. Monday writing a funny column or me not being so damn good looking).

Anyway, the last thing I want to do is give the geniuses at Mr. Spriggs any advice, but they should probably take a big plate of bbq spare ribs and overnight them to Will Ferrell. They should also send him a tall, cool Budweiser to polish things off.

(Thanks to Honorary Ogle Ryan at OklahomaRock for tip.)

Category: OKC Advertising and Uncategorized. 14 Comments

The Lost Ogle: Version 2.0

Published by
Patrick
 on June 17, 2008

When we first started this site over a year ago, this was our mission statement:

We are a group of young, amazing and strikingly attractive Oklahoma City residents that offer our “2-cents”, “rants” and “morning news styled opinions” on a variety of topics concerning Oklahoma City and the rest of the world. It’s a daunting task. In fact, it’s a task so daunting that only an Ogle brother could do it. That’s why we’re TheLostOgle.com. And that’s our two cents.

Well, the mission statement is (kind of) remaining the same, but we have more help to keep it running. Effective today, we are happy to announce the addition of three new contributors to The Lost Ogle “we write for free” team. They are:

• Sarah (top left)

• Sam (top right)

• Wendy (bottom right)

For the hell of it, we also decided to include Jerry (bottom left), The Irritated Tulsan, as a new contributor, too. You can read all about these people at the contributors page at the top.

Also, with the addition of these new (and I pray to God talented) writers, we have sad news: Tony has decided to take a (hopefully temporary) hiatus from writing at The Lost Ogle. We’re not sure why he has decided to leave, but here are three ideas:

• He was kidnapped by Dave Morris and forced to help him plan his bachelor party

• He was kidnapped by Steve Hunt and forced to watch hardcore midget porn

• He was kidnapped by Clark Matthews and forced to clean the Matthews’ garage

Once again, these are just ideas. Hopefully, Tony will stop by one last time and write a kindhearted farewell post to everyone. Hopefully, he’ll also bring cookies.

Category: The Lost Ogle and Uncategorized. 15 Comments

This “Collected Wisdom” stuff isn’t very wise…

Published by
Patrick
 on June 16, 2008

Every Sunday, the Daily Oklahoman sports section runs a trite little feature that they like to call “Collected Wisdom.” In it, they give some legendary sport figure the space to share a note or two of wisdom that they have gathered over the years. This week, they featured perhaps one of the “wisest” people ever, former University of Oklahoma baseball coach Larry Cochell. In case you forgot, Larry resigned from the University of Oklahoma for this:

Cochell was speaking with play-by-play announcer Gary Thorne when he called Dunigan (an African-American) over to praise him for staying in school. When the freshman returned to the field, Cochell told Thorne, “There’s no n—– in him.” The network informed the school that Cochell used similar language in an interview with ESPN analyst Kyle Peterson.

Yep, our state newspaper decided to run a feature called “Collected Wisdom” on a fool that makes hillbilly off-the-record racists remarks. But don’t blame the Oklahoman, because according to them, that incident only “allegedly” happened:

He resigned as the Sooners’ coach three years ago, after ESPN reporters alleged he used a racially insensitive remark off-camera.

Seriously, how does The Oklahoman get away with stuff like this? Not only did they give Larry Cochell a chance to share his wisdom with us–and then claim he only “allegedly” made the remarks–but the article itself is absolutely terrible. Check out some of his wise thoughts:

I’m a big football fan. We went to the Oregon game, and we’ll go to Seattle this fall.

My health is good. I have it under control. I have some blockages, but with medications it’s under control. I have tests every six months.

Great stuff, huh? I’m going to sleep better each night knowing that Larry Cochell is going to Seattle in the fall. Maybe next week they can have Dave Bliss tell us where he likes to go shopping, or let Kelvin Sampson tell us his favorite cell phone plam. Those guys are as wise as Larry Cochell, right?

Category: The Daily Oklahoman and Uncategorized. 30 Comments

Bawk! Bawk-bawk-bawk!!!

Published by
Clark Matthews
 on June 9, 2008

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdNuMXJjoWY

Oklahomans need to grow up.

In a Q&A session with constituents, Oklahoma’s junior Senator Tom Coburn had this little nugget of information:

“Never was there a risk for the flying public,” Coburn said. “Not once. And the FAA will tell you that. But they’re chickens.”

In his defense, there are no reports of Coburn tucking his thumbs under his armpits and strutting around, but one would think a man elected to represent the state in Washington might be a little more, shall we say, restrained.  When contacted for rebuttal, an FAA spokesman responded, “We’re rubber, he’s glue.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MJPAWG-BC0

Then this:

When a friend of Ronnie Silman’s son pulled out a gun, Silman dared him to pull the trigger, police said. Then a bullet tore through his leg.

Be careful what you wish for, I guess.  The best part of this story is that Silman was apparently the only “adult” involved in this confrontation (the final line of the article “Silman’s and Williams’ ages were not released” suggests the other two participants were minors), and he was the one issuing playground taunts.  Normally, I’d hesitate to make fun of a guy who was shot, but normally the person being shot does not request the shooter pull the trigger.

Category: Oklahoma Politics, Uncategorized and Unusual. 10 Comments

We are about to have a new Miss Oklahoma…

Published by
Patrick
 on June 4, 2008

Well, it looks like the Miss Oklahoma Pageant kicks off today. Okiedoke wrote a post about it a few days ago. Here is who they like:

After a thorough evaluation of the 2008 delegates for Miss Oklahoma my bet is on Miss Northwestern Oklahoma State University, Ashlynn Frey. She’s not only smart, popular, and good-looking enough for a Miss America…Miss Frey also retains some of that Okie charm that appeals to nerds and geeks alike.

That’s neat, I guess. But what whoever-writes-OkieDoke didn’t add, is that according to her MySpace page, Ashlynn is really really into teaching drivers education and drawing strange diagrams on the chalkboard. She also only has two MySpace friends. What a loser. How could any potential Miss Oklahoma only have two MySpace friends.

Here at The Lost Ogle, we decided to perform a diligent, thorough review of all the contestants from this GeoCities page (GeoCities? Are we in 1999?), and we are going to endorse Natasha Alikhani, Miss Bricktown, for Miss Oklahoma 2008. That’s her in tiny picture below:

Imagine that!  It looks like Miss Bricktown likes to party.  Hell, I bet that’s her only talent.  She’ll probably just get drunk at pageant, wear a tiny black dress, dance with one of Bosley’s friends and then throw up in the Bricktown Parking Garage while looking for her Nissan Altima.  She’ll also probably leave her debit card at CityWalk.

Anyway, good luck to Natasha.  If she wins, she’ll owe it all to us!

Category: Uncategorized. 11 Comments

Come See the Oklahoma City Zoo

Published by
Clark Matthews
 on May 26, 2008

People are always asking us: “All three of you are dashingly handsome, witty, and smart. So, why is Clark the only one who is married?”

That’s a good question with a simple answer. Only I have found a woman who not only fails to get upset when I abandon her on a Saturday afternoon to go play golf with a bunch of dudes, but during that time takes our kid to the Zoo and comes back with this video for me:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMcNK2OGeMc

Yep, she’s a keeper.

Category: Oklahoma City Porn Stars, Oklahoma City Zoo and Uncategorized. 5 Comments

RIP: Jack Mildren, 1949 - 2008

Published by
Patrick
 on May 22, 2008

Usually we don’t touch on topics like this, but tonight I’ll make an exception.

As you probably know by now, Jack Mildren passed away earlier this evening. Over the past few years, I always “secretly” enjoyed the humorous exchanges he and Al Eschbach would get into on the Sports Animal during the Total Dominance Hour. Every now and then, you could tell Al was taking a conversation down a path that Jack didn’t want to go, but Jack would play with it and have fun.

Anyway, our condolences go to Jack’s family and friends. If you want, please pay respects in the comments.

(Photo taken from the McCarville Report)

Category: Uncategorized. 8 Comments

Pop Quiz

Published by
Clark Matthews
 on May 13, 2008

While picking up some dinner this evening, I heard the following phrases in commercials.  If you can correctly match the scripted lines to the proper advertiser, expect a free copy of the Metro Buyer’s Guide in your mailbox:

1.  Let us service your unit for you.

a.  One of the massage parlors in the back of The Gazette

b.  Elite Mechanical

2.  I’ve walked through sewage.

a.  Andrew Rice’s campaign

b.  Promo for Sana Syed’s segment on Fox 25

Category: Uncategorized. 4 Comments
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