Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

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Wayne Pettigrew is dreamy and intense

There is a crowded field of Republicans vying for the 2nd US Congressional District seat that’s being vacated by Dan Boren. One of them is former State Rep Wayne Pettigrew. Here’s a picture of him:

As you can probably tell from looking at that picture, Wayne is your typical Oklahoma Republican. He worships Ronald Reagan, thinks government spending is out of control, and wants freedom and liberty for everyone…just as long as that freedom and liberty conforms to his overly moralistic, conservative and very white Judeo-Christian values.

In addition to that stuff (and bad haircuts), Pettigrew likes to stoically gaze off into the brilliance of beautiful Oklahoma sunsets. Or at least that’s the impression that he gives off in this photo located on the front page of his website:

Monday Morning Tweets: Boone Pickens, the Wu Tang Clan and Rumble the Bison

Hello folks, welcome back to Monday Morning Tweets! It’s our weekly look back at some of the tweets from our local celebrities and media. I can’t tell you guys how hard it is every Monday not to just use every one of @JimTraber‘s bitterly angry and exclamation-point obsessed tweets as the entirety of this series, but I’ve fought the urge for another week. After the jump, some tweets from people who aren’t Jim Traber.

7 things for single people to do on Valentine’s Day

1. Score a free meal. Note: this activity should only be attempted by true thespians. To pull this shenanigan off, it’ll take a lot of restraint, a touch of desperation, and at least half of the symptoms present in people suffering from histrionic disorder.

Make a reservation at a fancy restaurant offering a special Valentine’s Day 4-course meal for two. Sit down alone, order a glass of wine, tell the waiter that your sweetie is running a few minutes late. Fiddle with your phone, finish your glass of wine, and allow at least twenty minutes to pass. Ask the waiter to go ahead and bring out the appetizer because your significant other is “pulling up to the parking lot,” and order yourself and your date a glass of wine. Polish off your second glass of wine, and nibble on your appetizer which craning your head towards the restaurant’s entrance. Sigh loudly, and begin sipping your “date’s” glass of wine. Allow at least another twenty minutes to pass before you break out the water works and stealthy head slams to the table.

At this point, enjoy the two filet mignons and chocolate mousse cake from the convenience of your own couch–after that SAG award-winning performance, your overpriced meal for two will surely be comped.

After the jump, find out six more ways to keep yourself entertained tonight.

The Daily O’Collegian headline writer has probably never been to a strip club

Despite having an odd name, the OSU student run newspaper The Daily O’Collegian has been on a roll. They were the first semi-legitimate media outlet to pick up on Ralph Shortey’s aborted fetuses in food bill, and now they are tackling the subject of a new strip club opening in town. Here’s a screenshot of the article as it appeared in the paper:

The Jerk Store called and they are running out of Garth Brooks

Garth Brooks is a successful guy. He’s been nominated for 14 Grammys, had 18 number one hits and has sold over 69,000,000 albums. He has a popular Vegas show, has been invited to MLB spring training and even created a shitty alter ego named Chris Gains.

He’s also rich. According to celebrity net worth, Garth is worth $325-million dollars. That’s enough money to buy The Lost Ogle and The Pioneer Woman. He owns a cowboy super ranch outside of Owasso, about 87% of Nashville and probably a horse or two. According to Clark Matthews, he even has a secret lab dedicated to creating a unicorn.

Anyway, Garth Brooks is also an asshole. He’s suing a hospital for $500,000. Via the AP: