Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Archive for Uncategorized – Page 7

An open letter to Lisa Lispino

Dear Lisa Lispino,

I know the above picture might make you think that I’m comparing you to the artist, Pablo Picasso. I’m not. I just wanted to show that there’s a way to represent tragedy in art, and it doesn’t involve a picture of Alabama’s mascot moon walking in front of the Murrah Building wreckage. But, judging from your rudimentary use of Photoshop, you don’t strike me as having been burdened with an abundance of education, so I’ll slow things down for you. If you readers don’t know who this woman is, then check this out.

I won’t say anything more about the tasteless content of the photos you posted on the internet. Honestly, if I wanted to see worthless images that were meant to entertain, I’d look at LOLcats all day, because at least misspelled captions on pictures of cats are funny. Instead, I’d like to do something that I learned in journalism school—attack you personally. Why? Because I’m going to go ahead and assume that your pictures were a tasteless attack on Oklahoma and many deceased Oklahomans. And, if this is your “art” and free speech, you’re honestly just asking for my free speech to get all righteous up on you.

The Lockout is Over…what does it mean?

After the least damaging “nuclear winter” ever, there will be a–short–NBA season. Since June, the only question being asked by most Thunder fans was some variation of “are they going to play this season?” After the situation was amicably resolved at the point of no hope, the conversation has shifted to how the new dawn of the league will affect Oklahoma City.

Okay, that isn’t really happening, but it should. I’ll start out with the good news:

Money, Money, Money

One of the primary objectives of ownership in the collective bargaining negotiations was to create a system that invited league parity. In layman terms, they want everyone to have an equal opportunity to win the NBA Championship. This has not been the case over the past…history of the league. Unless Michael Jordan was playing the the Bulls, either the Celtics or Lakers have won just about every year.

The way to achieve parity apparently comes down to making the individual ownership groups more profitable. And since most of the money earned by the league goes to Los Angeles, Boston, Dallas, Chicago, and New York, the way to make the smaller market teams have better looking financial statements is to make the big markets share.

As one of the smallest cities with a team, the Thunder are going to be the recipient of that sweet shared revenue. Theoretically, that means they can take the infused money, increase team payroll, and start being a player in free agency.

Don’t count on it. Thunder ownership is rooted in the kind of fiscal responsibility that, if the other 29 teams practiced, would have helped to avoid labor disruption in the first place. What it will mean, however, is that when the current roster becomes more expensive, the Thunder can hopefully use those extra checks from the Knicks and Bulls to keep Serge Ibaka and James Harden from jumping to richer teams. Speaking of which… 

Channel 5 has the best Occupy OKC coverage

The other day someone asked me why we don’t provide daily coverage or participate in the Occupy OKC movement. I told them there were a bunch of reasons, but primarily because we’re not homeless and that our regular media has done an excellent job giving too much exposure to our city’s minor gathering of homeless people and weirdos. Then this happened on 5am broadcast on KOCO Channel 5 this morning:

I hope this satisfies all the people who don’t think we are giving enough attention to Occupy OKC. Now carry on with your day.

Happy Thanksgiving…here are some Oklahoma trivia questions

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Thanksgiving is by far the best holiday for grown ups. You get to see family, old friends and it’s socially acceptable to eat more food in 24 hours than a Feed the Children kid does in one year, but you don’t have to spend money on Christmas presents or try to find a parking spot at the mall. Well, at least you don’t until the day after Thanksgiving.

Anyway, we hope you’re having a happy turkey day. We hope that the wine is good, the football games are fun and that you’re eating dinner with the side of the family that makes the good stuffing. To keep you occupied during that weird hazy lull between the halftime of the Cowboys game to when your Grandma asks if anyone wants turkey sandwiches, here are 15 Oklahoma trivia questions. We always ask a couple of questions like these at the FREE Team Trivia Nights we host at the 51st Street Speakeasy on Tuesdays and O’Connell’s on Thursdays at 8:00 (except for tonight). If you’re ever bored on one of those nights and want to come see us, please do.

Here are the questions. The answers are after the jump.

1. Which Oklahoman is the founder of the popular mommy blog “The Pioneer Woman?”

2. What is the title of Bob Burke’s 2006 biography of Gary England?   A. Friday Night in the Big Town   B. Talk to Me, Val    C. Tornado Precautions   D. Weathering the Storm

3. Which former Oklahoma Governor was born June 9, 1927 in McAlester, Oklahoma?

4. What magnitude was the record-breaking earthquake the struck Sparks, Oklahoma at approximately 10:45pm on November 5th?

5. Which former Oklahoma State Cowboy was selected with the 20th pick of the NFL draft?

6. Which Custer led Indian battle / massacre occurred in Roger Mills County on November 27, 1868?

7. Which famous editorial columnist, social conservative and 60 minutes “point / counterpoint” contributor was born in Oklahoma City on November 1, 1920?

8. Where is the Pioneer Woman Museum located?

9. What well-known Oklahoma politician has written children’s books about Will Rogers and Teddy Roosevelt

10. Actor James Marsden was born in what Oklahoma town?

11. Who is the general manager of the Oklahoma City Thunder?

12. What city operates and manages Turner Falls Park?

13. How many Oklahoma counties share a name with a US State?

14. What 30,000 acre national grasslands is located primarily in Roger Mills county?

15. What Oklahoma City TV channel used the call letters WKY-TV from 1949 – 1976?

Crazy State Senator Josh Brecheen links Occupy Wall Street protesters to gypsies, druggies and Charles Manson followers

State Senator Josh Brecheen (pictured above and to the left) is a right-wing tea bagger politician from Southeastern Oklahoma. Last year, the Durant Daily Democrat gave him a column where he could spout-off misinformed views on evils of evolution and public art and defend the owners of cruel puppy mills.

Well, Mr. Brecheen is back at it again. This time he’s tackling the subject of the Wall Street protests, and in a particular, how they remind him of the 1960′s American Gypsy counter-culture that destroyed the great work of liberal Republican president Dwight Eisenhower.

Wait a second. The “American Gypsy” counter culture of the 1960s? You didn’t hear about that one when you watched that VH1 pop culture documentary on the 1960s. Josh “I probably masturbate to pictures of Rick Perry in cowboy boots” Brecheen explains what the American Gypsy culture is, but before doing so, he has to spend 250 words writing a bigoted stereotypical history of the Eastern European Gypsy culture.

From his column in the Durant Daily Democrat: