Last week we issued a bounty on pictures from Gan Matthews going away party. If you can believe it, an Ogle Mole actually submitted a couple of photos we requested. Sadly, none of them had to do with Joleen Chaney, Liz Dueweke and Jennifer Pierce in a pink bikini.
Here are the photos:
Photo 1: Adrianna Iwasinski asking Rusty Surette why he invited Marisa Mendelson. ($9)
Uhm, is Adrianna Iwasinksi asking Rusty Surette about Marisa Mendelson, or is she turning her finger into a metallic blade and asking him to “Call to John?” I guess it doesn’t matter. We’ll assume she’s asking about Marisa Mendelson.
Photo 2: Bo Turner reciting his newest poem “Ode to a Grecian Gan Matthews.” ($14)
Well, it looks like NewsOK.com has finally found their answer to Cardboard Jim Traber. His name is “Mr. Know It” and he’ll soon be visiting a school, meeting or place near you.
Here’s an invitation to you to visit and become a part of NewsOK.com’s “know it” communities.
We’ll even provide an opportunity for you to get a little publicity in doing so. You can have your photo taken with “Mr. Know It,” who will be showing up at various locations and events.
Mr. Know It is the life-size “stand in” for Communities Editor Don Gammill, who oversees the “know it” project.
“He’s generally available to travel, and he’s easy to work with,” Gammill said. “You’ll never hear him complain, and he’s always smiling.”
So, if you have a school event, meeting or place where Mr. Know It can visit, send an email of invitation to firstname.lastname@example.org. We’ll see if we can make the connection.
Yeah, this is a great idea. I can’t wait to see the reaction on all the kids faces when ‘Mr. Know It’ visits their school. Because let’s be honest, what kid has not dreamed of playing with a life-sized cardboard cutout of the man who sold Mommy and Daddy a couch at Bob Mills.
Seriously, how did this ever happen?! I wish I could have been in the meeting when this project was given the green light. For one, it would have been cool to smoke marijuana with a bunch of OPUBCO employees, and two, I could have asked the million-dollar question: “Does this mean there will be no Cardboard Steve Lackmeyer?”
Anyway, Cardboard Dom Gammill — I can’t call him “Mr. Know It” and keep a straight face — is pretty stupid and totally lame, but the whole concept is kind of cute. It’s like NewsOK went out and cut its own hair or drew pictures of dinosaurs on the bedroom wall. It’s hard to be too mad or disappointed in them, because deep down you realize they just don’t know any better.
The other day, a girl who will remain unnamed complained that I didn’t play enough “girl” music on Saturday mornings. My explanation: “Well, I am a guy.”
Anyway, maybe this girl had a point. To show all the ladies out there what I sensitive, caring and understanding guy I am, here’s some “girl music” for you. Now go adopt a dog and watch your Lilith Fair DVD.
Konichiwa, readers. Yes, it’s that time again. I’m going to tell you what to do. But before I get there, can I tell you a story about last night? It appears that Tony Hanadako and I are, yet again, victorious in the realm of team trivia at O’Connell’s. The first trivia night, we got third place. And since then, we’ve placed obscurely in the middle, our teams names about how we hoped Michelle Bachmann’s running mate would have the last name “Turner” or how “Chick Fellatio” is open on Sundays were lost in the crowd of the other teams’ stupid names.
But last night, our team name, which referenced Ikea’s recently discovered connection to Nazism, was proudly announced in third place. And all was right with the world. We won $10, Patrick bought us Jager shots and then we talked about how old we all feel in Norman when the kids are back in town. It was a glorious day. It’s a lot like what I think Olympic gold medalists probably feel like.
Anyway, here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.
Last night as the boyfriend and I left trivia and tried to avoid all the cops in Norman on the first thirsty Thursday of this school year, we stopped at a gas station to buy some milk and Monster Energy drinks (not even kidding about that combo). As we paid the kindly, handlebar mustachioed man behind the counter, he told us that he couldn’t wait to get off work because he had the weekend off and he was going to Kattfest. Now, I didn’t know that this was still happening, or that since the internet had been invented, that people still listened to Clear Channel radio stations. But, I guess some people do.
So, if you don’t mind the Katt or bands like Puddle of Mudd, Hinder, Papa Roach or Buckcherry, perhaps you’ll find yourself amongst some handlebar mustachioed fellows who work at local convenient stores, rocking out to some sweet tunes. And let’s be honest, if you’re the type of lady who thinks that cut-off Levi’s and a bikini top is a viable outfit for wearing outside the house, this is going to be the best place for you to find Mr. Right. So pack the ol’ sunscreen and head to the Zoo Amphitheatre where the music is always loud and the Bud Light is always $7 a bottle.
Can I just say something, readers? Lost Ogle Trivia at O’Connell’s is rigged. It’s impossible to answer questions when you’ve had like 7 beer pitchers. Also, how the hell do all those other teams beat me and Tony Hanadarko’s team every week? I mean come on! We’re TLO contributors! We should know the answers. But instead, every week we bring shame upon ourselves and our families. At this point, we would literally settle for the last place consolation prize. But we’re not even capable of that.
Oh, and any questions about golf are stupid. Really lame.
Anyway, here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.
When I was in the sixth grade, Hanson played at Frontier City and I begged my mom and dad to let me go. But they said no, citing the fact that only 12-year olds from the south side go there without their parents. However, in the eighth grade they got me a double park season pass and I was allowed to go all by myself all the time. I think my parents knew then that had I gone to that concert, I would’ve thrown myself at those little blonde boys. And after all, what could be more natural than a girl that age getting it on with three brothers? It’s the stuff dreams are made of.
I imagine that there will be plenty of girls from Edmond there tonight attempting to give themselves to Mr. Greyson Chance. And why not? He’s a very talented young fellow, and probably more sexually viable than a member of the Hanson family, because if I remember correctly, their family was a part of some weird church. I might have made that fact up though. Either way, little Edmond girls, let me know if you plan to head that way. I’ll give you a crash course talk in the birds and the bees.
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