Last week, Oklahoma Fashion Week came and went. If you missed it, consider yourself lucky. The event was promoted and organized by Oklahoma’s finest celebutante Hipster Boo Boo (a.k.a. Christina Fallin).
We know this because:
A) Hipster Boo Boo being involved in something like “Oklahoma Fashion Week” makes total sense.
B) Photos like this:
Yes, that’s Mary and Christina Fallin at the Oklahoma Fashion Week media kick off. She, along with (retired) Major General Rita Aragon (this lady!), the Oklahoma Secretary of Military and Veteran Affairs, were the keynote speakers. Who would invite a crazy conservative Governor who wears open-toed shoes with hose (and a general who likes Glamour Shots) to kick off a fashion event? Oh, I know! Maybe some girl whose only source of credibility comes from her mom’s last name. Makes sense.
Seriously, Christina, get out of your mom’s shadow! Do something on your own! And by do something on your own, I don’t mean change your name to just “Christina” or run off and do awful projects with Wayne Coyne or Desmond Mason. That just makes you look even more desperate.
Anyway, if having Governor Fallin and General Big Collar didn’t convince you that Christina Fallin is the no-longer-pink-haired mastermind behind Oklahoma Fashion Week, check out these photos we grabbed of the kick off from some obscure local fashion website called “A Cuppa Fashion.” It doesn’t show any models wearing Native American headdresses, but it’s still good for a laugh:
Over the past few days, a bizarre news story claiming that Oklahoma citizens have threatened to ‘secdee’ from the United States if Cosmos isn’t removed from local television has gone viral.
It was first reported by the Topekas News on April 10th. I’m shocked that the KFOR Social Media Bandit and /or the NewsOK.com Digital Desk have failed to h/t it:
Oklahoma Protesters Threaten to “Secdee” From Union if Neil DeGrasse Tyson’s Cosmos is not Cancelled.
Concerned Oklahomas gather to protest the airing of Cosmos, citing the show’s agenda is ‘clearly anti-Christian and biased against creationist values.’ Citizens have threatened to vote to ‘secdee’ [sic] from the United States during the 2014 gubernatorial and ballot issue election if Cosmos is not formally removed from all Oklahoma based television networks.
Saddlebridge Township, Oklahoma – Furious parents and citizens of Oklahoma took to the streets early Thursday, protesting against Neil DeGrasse Tyson’s Cosmos. Protesters allege the show is blatantly promoting an anti-Creationist agenda and is ‘standing against the Judeo-Christian moors and values of the Saddleback Township community and others nationwide.”
The first protests against Cosmos in the community took place some two weeks ago, after a local paper claimed an airing of Cosmos in a school caused several children to experience ‘demonic possession’. Parents cite one kid became completely enamored with the show during a terrifyingly supernatural event linked with Neil DeGrasse Tyson’s narrative explaining the “God of the Gaps” theory.
Several weeks ago, citizens accused Tyson of using his Cosmos program to forward other agendas, not limited to a ‘homogay’ agenda, wizardry/haroldry, astrology and other vehemently anti-Christian teachings.
Concerned parents have accused Neil DeGrasse Tyson of ‘Ra’ worship and iconography, going as far as saying the titular narrator may be involved in a Wiccan Sun occult.
Delores Simmons, whose child was involved in the prior airing of Cosmos that precipitated the anti-science scare in Oklahoma, claims petitions are already going about to elect pro-Creation candidates for upcoming elections.
“If we allow this Tyson to keep publicly airing his beliefs, God just may strike us down with a cosmic meteor this summer. That would be ironic justice if you ask me, so we should just take this show off now before that happens.”
Other citizens in Oklahoma agree. The latest Rasmussen polls on the subject show that over 64% people in Oklahoma feel Cosmos is dangerous and carries a strong anti-theist and Creation message.
Pretty crazy, huh? It would be even crazier if the report was true. At last check, there’s no Saddlebridge Township, Oklahoma, no Rasmussen polls asking about how Oklahomans feel about Cosmos, and no petition to make us “secdee” from the US. The picture they used was taken in Texas in 2011.
If that joke seemed pretty obvious to you, congrats. You have common sense. If it fooled you, well, don’t feel alone. Thousands of other idiots shared the story on Facebook and Twitter thinking it was totally real. Here are some Twitter examples:
There are three ways to know if someone has been to Suger’s on Campus Corner in Norman:
1. They know that it’s spelled Suger’s with an “E” and not an “A.”
2. They get bitter-beer face when you mention the place.
3. Their last name is Eschbach.
I’ve actually been to Suger’s twice. The last time was on Saturday, November 22nd, 2008. It was rainy and cold outside and my friends and I were desperately seeking a place to stay dry, warm and apparently smell other people’s body odor. We ventured into Suger’s, stayed for a few hours, and then this happened. Because of that, the nasty little strip club on Campus Corner has a special place in my heart.
And yes, I wrote all that with bitter-beer face.
I bring up that proud moment from my past because the Oklahoma Daily, the OU student newspaper, recently ran a big feature on the strip club where all sorts of dreams go to die. From a Steven Zoeller article:
Tucked in the alley between Sage’s Wellness Lounge and Fuzzy’s Taco Shop is a portal to another dimension.
Beyond its threshold, framed pictures of female anatomy adorn the walls of a lounge lit dimly by colorful bulbs. A woman in lingerie has the stage, her barely-concealed hindquarters aimed squarely at the audience as she dances. Over the noise of billiard balls colliding and beer glasses clinking, the men cheer and applaud.
The bar sits across the room from the stage, managed by a small woman in her mid-50s smoking a cigarette. Most wouldn’t even expect to see this severe-looking woman working here, and she doesn’t just do that — she also owns the place.
Karen Summers is a subversion, a wrinkle in the image most people have of strip clubs. The more she and the dancers talk about the story of Suger’s, the more wrinkled that image becomes.
First of all, Suger’s really is located next to Fuzzy’s Taco Shop. Someone should open a Saggy Boob Bakery across the alley to make this story even more ironic.
Second, this is what happens when you send an OU student who has obviously never been inside a strip club to write about a strip club. Seriously, was this assignment part of a 21st birthday present from his journalism professor? Not only did the kid describe the place with fancy, hyphen-dependant phrases like “Barley-concealed hindquarters” and “Severe-looking woman,” but he totally buried the lede. If he really wanted to describe Suger’s, he should have used this sentence from later on in the story:
The lady pictured above is Heather Lynn Hall.
She provided some free entertainment to Penn Square Mall shoppers – and made a mall cop’s ultimate fantasy come true – after she was caught shoplifting from The Buckle on Saturday.
Here’s what happened. Heather shoplifted. Heather was caught. Heather, going off instincts, removed her top and wrestled with a very panicked mall cop until authorities arrived. It’s the most interesting thing to happen inside Penn Square Mall cop since the Build-A-Bear riots of 2008.
Joleen Chaney has all the details about the incident, including some video.
Back in October, we profiled eccentric animal sanctuary owner Joe Exotic. We took a look at his photos, country music videos, and ever-expanding line of Tiger King condoms and moisturizer.
Here’s what we wrote at the time:
And that’s the guy who owns all the tigers in Wynnewood that occasionally try to eat people. Nothing weird or strange or concerning about that…right?
Okay, so maybe it’s a little concerning, but who are we to judge. Just because the guy’s self-absorbed and likes to unzip his pants and pose for PG-rated erotica doesn’t mean he’s not capable of running an animal sanctuary filled with deadly predators. Okay, maybe it does. I don’t know. I think I’m going to take a bath now.
Since we took our baths, Joe Exotic has released several new music videos. One of them – ”Do You Ever Wonder What Love Could Do?” – speaks out against government regulations and animal rights groups. Like Joe Exotic’s other work, it’s cringe-inducingly funny.
Check it out:
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