Apparently some people don’t consider Serge Ibaka to be an Oklahoman.
Earlier this week, a website named Condomania.com ranked the US states by average penis size. Oklahoma was ranked a fresh out of the swimming pool 38th.
The rankings were determined by measuring the ratio of men in each state who drive heavy-duty pickup trucks and multiplying it by the average shoe size of each state legislature. Just kidding. That would have put us at number 50.
The real rankings were even less scientific than that. From PR News Wire:
I’m about a decade too old to be into boy bands, but I can’t help but kinda like One Direction. I like their accents, I like that they call Simon Cowell “Uncle Simon,” and I like how the heavily tattooed one conspicuously dumped Taylor Swift the same week that her single about getting dumped by bad boys was released. But mostly, I appreciate that although they have silly haircuts and sing songs that get stuck in your head, they haven’t nearly approached the level of awful that is Justin Bieber.
However, this band of merry Brits might want to consider getting a new publicist / wardrobe designer / photographer / whoever happened to be on set when they staged this promo image:
Earlier this week, Twitter was attacked by a strange hashtag called #OklahomaFolllowTrain. According to this website, the phrase was tweeted about 70,000 times on Sunday and Monday. That number will continue to climb as the hashtag was still trending worldwide as of this morning. If none of that makes any sense, here’s an unrelated and random WTF tweet from Channel 5 to keep you entertained:
Celebrities who are gay http://t.co/KZpVm0BELS
— KOCO-5 Oklahoma City (@koconews) December 2, 2013
The purpose and origin of the #OklahomaFolllowTrain is about as clear as a Jenni Carlson column. More than likely, it was spawned by bored Oklahoma teenagers, college students and /or Abigail Ogle as a way to get new Twitter followers without spending any cash. It could also have been created by Oklahoma State School Superintendent Janet Barresi. That would explain the three Ls in “Folllow.”
Since we’re allegedly the best “person” to follow on social media in Oklahoma City, I decided to get to the “botttom” of this train (heh). So far, I’ve failed miserably. I have no clue what it is or why it’s trending. This is probably because I’m a grown up. After going through awful tweet after awful tweet, this was the only interesting thing I could find:
If I had to rank my favorite things in this world, there’s a good chance that lesbians, marijuana and nunchucks would all make the top 100. That means I have a lot in common with both you and Lisa Arlene Ward (pictured above). Lisa was sent to jail after she attacked her girlfriend’s “friend” with nunchucks.
An Oklahoma City woman was being held in the Oklahoma County jail Monday after being accused of attacking another woman with nunchucks, police reported.
Lisa Arlene Ward, 47, was arrested Sunday on complaints of assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, possession of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia. She was also arrested on a Cleveland County warrant of failure to appear.
So, how did all this happen? Did the other woman use a Bo staff as self-defense? Were Chinese stars involved? Did they hug it out and eat some pizza with a gigantic mutant rat afterwards?
Here are the details:
It’s that time of year when we all get a little bit more thankful in a super disingenuous and only on Facebook sort of way. It’s totally cool. I get it. An integral part of stuffing your face with four helpings of mashed potatoes is showing what a good person you are by being grateful for things and people that you passive-aggressively complain about the rest of the year.
Regardless of how you feel about them, family is something that it’s appropriate to be thankful for at this time of year. Family, and especially grandparents are a blessing. Even if they get your 4-year old stoned right before pre-K. According to NewsOK.com:
EDMOND — An Edmond 4-year-old’s grandmother and great aunt are accused of smoking marijuana in front of the child, police said.
Sandra Martinez, 53, and Peggy Pierman, 52, were arrested Friday on complaints of possession of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia, Edmond police spokeswoman Jennifer Monroe said.
An Edmond officer was called to Cross Timbers Elementary School, 4800 N Kelly Ave., to check on a prekindergarten student who was acting lethargic. The officer said the 4-year-old’s clothes smelled of marijuana and his eyes did not look normal, Monroe said.
Officers talked to Martinez, the grandmother, and Pierman, the great-aunt, after they drove to school to pick up the boy. The women told officers the boy spent the night at Martinez’s house, Monroe said.
The boy was put in his mother’s custody. His mother was not involved in the incident.
Martinez and Pierman were taken to the Edmond jail.
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