Earlier this week, I stumbled across this weird little thing on the Oklahoma Reddit page. Imagine that. Something weird on Reddit. That’s like walking into a Chelino’s and finding beans.
I guess some dude from Canada created and photographed Lego scenes for the 50 states. This is what he came up with for Oklahoma:
Yep, a cow driving a car with a chimney in the back seat. Hey, at least it’s not someone trying to make meth in a port-a-potty. Here’s how the artist Jeff Friesen described the work:
Home to famous cattle drives. Tailgate their methane-powered rides at your own peril.
Oh, the cow is powering the car… through flatulence? Obviously this dude doesn’t know a lot about Oklahoma, because the cow would probably use pure, clean, abundant natural gas instead. It emits methane, too. Also, the car would have a Chesapeake logo on it.
That being said, with Oklahoma apparently being the second worst state to live in, I was expecting something a little meaner. I wonder what the guy came up for our “Worst State” rivals in Tennessee:
The lady pictured above is Shawnee resident Toni Jones, or as she should probably be known from here on out, “Sweet Shawnee Brown.”
On Monday, some asshole attempted to carjack Toni at a Shawnee Homeland. That wasn’t a good idea. Toni, a certified badass and person I’d like to take to Medieval Times, fought back with the help of her sister and a good Samaritan. Before the carjacker could say “Methamphetamine,” he found himself locked in handcuffs and placed under “citizen’s arrest.”
Banking on a “Local Woman Fends Off Attacker In Homeland Parking Lot” story to lead off their 10pm newscast, all four local Oklahoma City news channels rushed to Shawnee to get Jones’ first person account of the ordeal. It’s pretty amazing.
I posted all four local news reports after the jump. For fun, I decided to rank them based upon how many Red Bull and vodkas and / or painkillers Toni may have consumed before each interview. Check them out:
The law enforcement official pictured above is Oklahoma State Trooper Daniel Martin.
In 2009, he we was suspended for five days without pay after he pulled over and assaulted a paramedic that was transporting a patient to the hospital. Later on that year, he was placed on administrative leave for allegedly beating a Holdenville man with a nightstick.
Knowing Martin’s violent history, the OHP did what any logical organization would do. They sent him to work with high school students at the Cadet Lawman Academy. What could go wrong with that?
Love is blind. It apparently can’t smell very well, either.
The big story in OKC last week had to do with Riginald Haney and Page Pals. They took a break from hunting hobbits and were busted having sex have on a sidewalk in front of church in South Oklahoma City.
Do you have friends “in low places.” Do you have a “barbecue stain on a white t-shirt?” Have you ever kissed your cousin on the same road you drank your first beer and found Jesus?
If you answered “Yes” to any of the questions, there’s a good chance you are News 9 anchor Amanda Taylor. If you’re not her, then you’re just a good old country livin’, KXY listenin’, meth abusin’ Oklahoman. The Sooner state was recently named by Estately as the number one place in the country where life is most like a country song.
Truck yeah boot skootin woogie forever feels!
Thanks! Your message has been sent!