Growing up, whenever my parents left the house, the first thing I would do is down half a bottle of orange-flavored chewable aspirins, chug a little vanilla extract and then chase my younger brother around the house with a loaded BB gun.
Luckily, somewhere around high school, I went down a different, more positive road—thanks, D.A.R.E.!—putting the BB gun and St. Joseph’s down and picking up the Cure’s Disintegration and a pack of cloves instead.
Maybe that’s why I feel so deeply for Martin Lule Jr. Because, maybe, in an alternate universe, there but for the grace of God go I…
According to NewsOK.com:
It may be time for our friends at Patricia’s or Hustler Hollywood to open a Tuttle location.
Last week, some company called PinkCherry Sex Toys released a list of “the 50 sexiest cities in America.” They determined the rankings by analyzing how much city residents spend on sex toys, adult novelties and lingerie per person. Basically, the stuff you’d find at the bottom of Clark Matthews’s closet.
(Hey, a Clark Matthews reference!)
After analyzing all the numbers, the top city on PinkCherry’s list was Tuttle, Oklahoma.
Yes, that’s right. Tuttle is the sexiest city in America. To celebrate the occasion, Tuttle-based Braum’s will be offering a limited-edition Pink Cherry ice cream flavor in all metro stores.
Via a news release by PinkCherry Sex Toys…
Last week, The Oklahoman’s hipster-in-residence, Graham Lee Brewer, authored a piece about a woman who voluntarily maintains a fledgling colony of feral cats at Lake Hefner. He apparently stumbled across the cat lady during the fall while foraging for wild berries with those guys from MGMT.
The daring criminal pictured above is Mark Cedillo.
Last week, he was busted trying to steal DVD’s of the popular Netflix series “Orange is the New Black” from an area Walmart. Apparently his ex-girlfriend wised up and finally changed her Netflix password or something.
Via News 9:
Sometimes these posts just write themselves.
Yesterday, this happened:
In case you care, that’s News 9’s Joleen Chaney interviewing some wildling warlock name Sir John Michael. He’s just your regular old dude who likes to sunbathe in the nude, wear women’s leggings and cavemen vests, and live a simple life on a school bus out in the country next to his landlord’s pot farm. He also has a crystal-topped staff, probably for magical reasons.
Yesterday, authorities raided the pot farm Sir John Michael lived next to because, well, go watch the clip:
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