Earlier this week, The Video Vigilante took a break from eating BBQ and published an expose on a Chickasha “happiness consultant” who posed for nude pics and allegedly had sex inside a UPS truck in Oklahoma City (pic above):
A Oklahoma prostitute apparently had a ‘date’ with a United Parcel Service (UPS) driver and just couldn’t wait to post the resulting photographs online.
We’ve all heard the marketing slogan, “What can brown do for you?” – well, apparently they can have sex in a truck full of your holiday gift giving…..
Yesterday morning a woman, who identifies herself as ‘Mary Ann,’ posted a bear-chested selfie in a UPS shirt in the back of a UPS delivery truck with the following caption…
Because here at JohnTV our sources, snitches, moles and R&D are on alert 24/7 we can, with a reasonable amount of certainty, say we have identified ‘Mary Ann’ as a previously charged (and still on probation) prostitute named Tiffany Fay(e) Hawkins, 38, of Chickasha.
Wait a second. The Video Vigilante described his informants as “moles?” I know we didn’t invent the term, but haven’t we earned a local trademark on it by now? The Video Vigilante needs to get his own word for the hookers, street pimps, attorneys, hustlers and enemies of Wes Lane that feed him with inside information. I’d suggest “Junior Vigilantes,” “Bate’s Boys” or “Campfields.”
For some reason, Mr. Vigilante’s expose got the attention of News 9. They “investigated” the news like it mattered:
A UPS spokesperson said the company is outraged after a photo surfaced revealing one of its metro drivers had a sexual encounter in the back of a delivery truck.
A woman posted the racy picture online.
News 9 spoke with Susan Rosenberg, a spokesperson at the UPS corporate office, who said this is grounds for termination and the company wants to track down the driver immediately.
The picture showed a bare-chested woman in a UPS shirt and it was posted last week on a personal website by an Oklahoma City area woman who calls herself Mary Ann, a happiness consultant.
The caption says, “Look at my naughty time from yesterday.”
“What really shocked me is that a driver would put himself in this position, no pun intended, and then allow the pictures to be posted publicly,” said Brian Bates, founder of JohnTV.com.
Bates got a hold of the pictures and wrote about them on his website, which exposes prostitution in OKC.
The picture had already been removed from the website at the time of this article.
First of all, who cares if a UPS driver had sex with a “happiness consultant” in the back of his truck. If News 9 really wanted to serve their viewers, they’d investigate why UPS drivers are such assholes. Just because you drive an ugly brown truck doesn’t mean you own the road and can double park anywhere you want. Also, what’s up with ringing my doorbell and then running away as quickly as possible? Are you so busy that you can’t wait 5-seconds for me to open the door and say “Hey, my Zappos shoes have arrived! Thanks!”
Know what else is kind of irritating? We post pictures of scantily clad girls all the time and Channel 9 never gives us an ounce of credit. Then the Video Vigilante finds a picture of a topless prostitute in a UPS uniform and they send the entire newsroom out on the trail. Hello! We’re here, too. Just look at all these other pictures we found of hot UPS girls in uniform:
It looks like we found the perfect gag gift for Mike Morgan’s Christmas Jubilee. And no, it’s not this album or animal feed for a petting a zoo.
Over the weekend, Marisa alerted me to an Etsy mom who is selling a Gary England Drinking Game gift set online. It’s basically a laminated list of the game’s rule complete with a set of red plastic “Friday Night in the Big Town” cups.
Here’s an image and description:
By now, you’ve probably seen the pic above of the innocent little puppy that was stuffed inside a freezer bag by a mother and son from New Mexico. You’ve seen the story because it involves idiots and animal cruelty, two subjects that I think account for 25% of all pageviews on the Internet. The other 75% go to porn.
KOKH Channel 25 got all aboard the pageview train. Here’s their story:
New Mexico woman and son arrested for putting puppy in plastic bag
If a picture is worth a thousand words, this one is worth a lot more money as an Albuquerque woman and her son allegedly post a disturbing photo of a puppy on Facebook.
Mary Snell and her son James Engel were arrested Saturday on a charge of animal cruelty after they posted the photo to Facebook.
Investigators say Snell wanted to show how small the 8-week old puppy is so she put it in the open Ziploc bag and took a picture. She then posted the picture to Engel’s Facebook page. When authorities got wind of it, they arrived at the home and arrested both.
Neighbors say they treat their animals well but the County Sheriff says that doesn’t matter, in this case.
“A young puppy doesn’t have the ability to move its head to a fresh supply of oxygen,” Sgt. Aaron Williamson with the Bernalillo County Sheriff’s Office said.
The puppy, named “Baby”, is okay but the two now face felony charges for the photo.
First of all, congrats to the KOKH Channel 25 headline writer for resisting the urge to go with “Nobody puts Baby in a bag” and ”Baby got bag!” in the headline. Those are way too easy and tacky.
Not to be left out of the pageview generator, KFOR Channel 4 tasked their third grade social media intern to write a story about the news and post it to Facebook. What could go wrong with that?
Check it out:
If you haven’t noticed, I like to criticize The Oklahoman from time to time. Right now, my favorite thing is how they are turning NewsOK.com into a bad local parody of the Huffington Post and Buzz Feed. You can tell they’re desperate for pageviews and sent their copy editors to a Website Headline Writing Symposium. It seems like every headline on the site is misleading, asks a question, or secretly links to a Jenni Carlson column. Basically, they try to force clickable headlines on stories that are not very clickable.
Here are some random examples:
That “stars” name? Thabo Sefolosha.
This headline appeared today when OU suspended RB Damien Williams. The column has nothing to do with a “mystery tailback.” It simply chronicles the mismanaged and disappointing careers of Roy Finch and Brennan Clay.
Anyway, none of that really matters, because today I’m giving credit where credit is due. Yesterday, The Oklahoman published a great story about former Color Me Badd singer and Chaz Bobo impersonator Bryan Abrams. He arrived in court yesterday pushing a walker and dreaming of chicken friend cheesecake. The story was funny and the accompanying photo even funnier.
It’s been a while since we’ve written anything about OKC media personality Lacey Lett. This is because she dated Brent Skarky, moved to Tulsa, and stopped sending us Braum’s e-postcards when they redesigned their website.
Well, it looks like we have an excuse to write about Lacey again. Over the past year, she’s split up with Skarky, moved back to Oklahoma City and is now working as a part-time reporter for KFOR Channel 4. Plus, she’s being inducted into the Oklahoma City Community College Alumni Hall of Fame later tonight.
Yeah, you read that right. Oklahoma City Community College has an Alumni Hall of Fame. Check out the rest of this year’s class. It’s a who’s-who list of people who probably want you to pick up the tab the next time you go to lunch.
From the OCCC website:
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