There are three ways to know if someone has been to Suger’s on Campus Corner in Norman:
1. They know that it’s spelled Suger’s with an “E” and not an “A.”
2. They get bitter-beer face when you mention the place.
3. Their last name is Eschbach.
I’ve actually been to Suger’s twice. The last time was on Saturday, November 22nd, 2008. It was rainy and cold outside and my friends and I were desperately seeking a place to stay dry, warm and apparently smell other people’s body odor. We ventured into Suger’s, stayed for a few hours, and then this happened. Because of that, the nasty little strip club on Campus Corner has a special place in my heart.
And yes, I wrote all that with bitter-beer face.
I bring up that proud moment from my past because the Oklahoma Daily, the OU student newspaper, recently ran a big feature on the strip club where all sorts of dreams go to die. From a Steven Zoeller article:
Tucked in the alley between Sage’s Wellness Lounge and Fuzzy’s Taco Shop is a portal to another dimension.
Beyond its threshold, framed pictures of female anatomy adorn the walls of a lounge lit dimly by colorful bulbs. A woman in lingerie has the stage, her barely-concealed hindquarters aimed squarely at the audience as she dances. Over the noise of billiard balls colliding and beer glasses clinking, the men cheer and applaud.
The bar sits across the room from the stage, managed by a small woman in her mid-50s smoking a cigarette. Most wouldn’t even expect to see this severe-looking woman working here, and she doesn’t just do that — she also owns the place.
Karen Summers is a subversion, a wrinkle in the image most people have of strip clubs. The more she and the dancers talk about the story of Suger’s, the more wrinkled that image becomes.
First of all, Suger’s really is located next to Fuzzy’s Taco Shop. Someone should open a Saggy Boob Bakery across the alley to make this story even more ironic.
Second, this is what happens when you send an OU student who has obviously never been inside a strip club to write about a strip club. Seriously, was this assignment part of a 21st birthday present from his journalism professor? Not only did the kid describe the place with fancy, hyphen-dependant phrases like “Barley-concealed hindquarters” and “Severe-looking woman,” but he totally buried the lede. If he really wanted to describe Suger’s, he should have used this sentence from later on in the story:
The lady pictured above is Heather Lynn Hall.
She provided some free entertainment to Penn Square Mall shoppers – and made a mall cop’s ultimate fantasy come true – after she was caught shoplifting from The Buckle on Saturday.
Here’s what happened. Heather shoplifted. Heather was caught. Heather, going off instincts, removed her top and wrestled with a very panicked mall cop until authorities arrived. It’s the most interesting thing to happen inside Penn Square Mall cop since the Build-A-Bear riots of 2008.
Joleen Chaney has all the details about the incident, including some video.
Back in October, we profiled eccentric animal sanctuary owner Joe Exotic. We took a look at his photos, country music videos, and ever-expanding line of Tiger King condoms and moisturizer.
Here’s what we wrote at the time:
And that’s the guy who owns all the tigers in Wynnewood that occasionally try to eat people. Nothing weird or strange or concerning about that…right?
Okay, so maybe it’s a little concerning, but who are we to judge. Just because the guy’s self-absorbed and likes to unzip his pants and pose for PG-rated erotica doesn’t mean he’s not capable of running an animal sanctuary filled with deadly predators. Okay, maybe it does. I don’t know. I think I’m going to take a bath now.
Since we took our baths, Joe Exotic has released several new music videos. One of them – “Do You Ever Wonder What Love Could Do?” – speaks out against government regulations and animal rights groups. Like Joe Exotic’s other work, it’s cringe-inducingly funny.
Check it out:
The lady pictured above is Holly Wilson. She’s an Oklahoma artist, women’s rights advocate and apparently one of the world’s leading experts on small, hobbit-like penises.
Holly Wilson is a sculptor living in Mustang, Okla., who’s tired of dealing with gallery dudes who attempt to dismiss her expertise and undervalue her work just because she’s a woman. So Wilson crafted a secret weapon that she could keep in her pocket to give her strength when negotiating with sexist men: a 1½-inch-long cast bronze penis. Now, Wilson has launched a Kickstarter campaign to put her prototype penis into production and help other women “bring your dick to the table,” too. Her slogan: “If all that separates us is a dick, then here is mine. Now let’s get down to business.”
Women like Holly Wilson need to realize that men don’t “dismiss their expertise” or “undervalue her work” because they don’t have a penis. It’s actually because the male brain, on average, is about 8% – 13% larger than the female brain, and we’re simply worried you’re not capable of making the correct decision. Therefore, Holly should be bringing a miniature bronze brain to the table. Zing!
Here are a few pic of the penis sculptures. I’m not sure if photos of bronze miniature penises are considered NSFW, but if they are, be warned:
After two hard-fought games against Danny Bowien and Vanity Perkins, Marla Morgan was eliminated from Ogle Madness yesterday by Gary England by a score of 366 – 228. In a last-ditch effort to secure votes, Marla sent us one of her patented emails:
I am pleased to have advanced in your contest, I’ve always liked contests! But you really need a more recent picture of me, so here is one from last year during that hot Summer. More recent material is always good when in contests! BTW, that silly comment about me being a high maintenance spouse? I didn’t like that too much. I don’t get mad very often, but when I do, it’s not very pretty.
So, Marla Morgan sent me a photo from one hot American summer. This better be good. Let’s check it out:
Thanks! Your message has been sent!