Love is blind. It apparently can’t smell very well, either.
The big story in OKC last week had to do with Riginald Haney and Page Pals. They took a break from hunting hobbits and were busted having sex have on a sidewalk in front of church in South Oklahoma City.
Do you have friends “in low places.” Do you have a “barbecue stain on a white t-shirt?” Have you ever kissed your cousin on the same road you drank your first beer and found Jesus?
If you answered “Yes” to any of the questions, there’s a good chance you are News 9 anchor Amanda Taylor. If you’re not her, then you’re just a good old country livin’, KXY listenin’, meth abusin’ Oklahoman. The Sooner state was recently named by Estately as the number one place in the country where life is most like a country song.
Truck yeah boot skootin woogie forever feels!
Earlier this week, The Oklahoman’s Steve Lackmeyer climbed down from the Devon Tower to report that some goofy landman wanted to build a 220-ft-tall Star Flyer in Bricktown. Based on a Google image search, a Star Flyer is either a futuristic amusement park ride or a really big ship. Since I’m guessing a 220-foot-tall boat probably wouldn’t fit in the Bricktown Canal, I’ll assume it’s the ride.
Here’s the description from the Australian ride manufacturer Fun Time:
The StarFlyer is the newest sensation in the world of Tower rides. It is a unique attraction that appeals to both young and old, the adventurous and not so adventurous. While most tower attractions seem to fizzle out after time the StarFlyer keeps the excitement going.
No other family attraction combines safety and thrills like the StarFlyer.
The StarFlyer can operate in high winds unlike many other Tower rides as it has been TUV certified to operate in a wind speed of force 8 (74Km/h)1. We are also increasing the height of the SkyFlyer every year and a sales representative will be able advise you of our current maximum height.
To ride, guests are seated in a double seat next to their friend or partner, the seat is deep walled and fitted with double seat belts that include an ‘in between the leg harness’ that can only be unlocked by the operator.
The motion of the StarFlyer is similar to the ChairFlyer type of ride that has been around for decades, except with one difference – Altitude.
The StarFlyer spins like a normal Chainflyer but also races up to a top as it is spinning! Then the customers are treated to a series of ups and downs as they spin backwards and forwards. A truly exhilarating experience.
Exhilarating? How about fucking terrifying! I’ll ignore that eyesore and stick with catching a ride on the Bricktown Water Taxi or rolling around on a Segway.
What an awful idea. Let’s get people to visit Bricktown, eat a meal at Spaghetti Warehouse or Chelino’s, and then spin around in circles at 220-feet while feeling an occasional free fall. What could go wrong with that?
Fortunately, the Bricktown Urban Design Committee feels the same way, only they are much nicer about it. Via NewsOK.com:
The druid wannabe pictured above is Jalyna Runyan.
She attacked her husband with a sword for either cheating at cards or making fun of her for paying homage to mother earth to celebrate the first day of summer…on July 6th.
It should probably be noted that she was intoxicated.
Via The Tulsa World:
As the image above proves, it’s hard not to be a fan of cheerleaders with guns. Something about it is just cool. Granted, you could show me a pic of Honeybee Talor holding my own severed head and I’d think it’s cool too, but you get my point.
I bring this up because an Ogle Mole sent me a screenshot from the Tuttle Tiger Moms Facebook Group. They’re having a raffle for the Tuttle Little League Cheer and, well, check out the screenshot:
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