When I was growing up, I was pretty much the kid in the front row of the classroom with my hand raised before the teacher finished asking her question. I’m a nerd. I know that. But occasionally I would get in trouble for mild offenses. I sat in timeout once in kindergarten. I felt like a failure and wanted to kill my six-year old self. I don’t take punishment easily. Then, in the fifth grade, I got sent out in the hall for fake fighting because the playground monitor was a jerk. And I pretty much spent my entire softball career running laps around the field at good ol’ ENHS because I talk too much. Also, my parents grounded me once for two weeks, but let me out for good behavior after four days. Basically, I’m kind of a goody two-shoes who also drinks too much and makes an ass of herself in public.
So, suffice it to say that I don’t know much about punishment. But, the fine folks at Cordell Elementary School seem to know a bit more in a medieval sort of way. By now I’m sure you’ve heard the story about the boy who was paddled after his parents allowed school officials to do so in lieu of suspension. Now the parents are angry, saying their son was bruised for days. And here I thought spanking was something that took place in the bedroom between two consenting adults.
We occasionally like to make fun of Brian “The Video Vigilante” Bates on this site. This is primarily because he likes to film disgusting street prostitutes having sex with equally disgusting men and then sell the footage for his own profit, but also because he looks like his name should be Mr. Wiggles or Pee-Wee.
Anyway, for the past 10-years or so, Mr. Bates owned the creepy vigilante cameraman market in this town. Now, though, it looks like he has a rival. Through the Ogle Mole Network, we have learned there’s a guy driving the streets of Oklahoma City and filming bad drivers in the act. He’s then posting the footage on YouTube. We’ll call this new vigilant cameraman the “Trafficilante.”
Okay, I know that’s lame, but I couldn’t think of another nickname. I even got out a thesaurus and looked up alternate words for “traffic” and “vigilante.” Maybe we should just call this new guy the Video Vigilante and give Brian Bates a different name. Once again, Mr. Wiggles has a ring to it.
Here’s the Trafficilante’s first video. I wonder if you made it.
Last week, we told you about some teenagers in Tulsa who smoked herbal incense (and the ugly woman who let them do it). Not to be outdone, Edmond teens are taking it to another level. They are smoking potpourri in the high school bathroom:
In case you haven’t heard, another person has been killed by a train in Norman. And no, not by the shitty mom-rock band Train that’s pictured above. Although listening to their music for more than 30-seconds has driven some lab rats to commit suicide, I don’t think they had anything to do with this. Unless, of course, Kiss FM was playing a Drops of Jupiter marathon over the weekend or something. Then all bets are off.
Anyway, via Andrew Knittle on NewsOK:
For the second time in a week, a person has been struck and killed by a train in Norman.
The death of an unnamed woman late Saturday night marks the seventh such fatality in the past three years in Norman.
Norman police Lt. Jeff Robertson would only describe the victim as a “white female” and couldn’t say whether she was a college student.
“It’s really hard to tell,” Robertson said. “I don’t want to speculate at this point.”
Robertson said the incident was called in Saturday at 10:36 p.m. Two hours later, he said investigators, including representatives of Burlington Northern Santa Fe Railway, were still on the scene.
The woman was hit at the Main Street railroad crossing, Robertson said…
Norman police Lt. Chris Amason, who was interviewed a week ago by The Oklahoman, said that Norman has a problem with people getting killed by the dozens of trains that pass through the city each day.
“We encourage our residents to stay away from the train tracks,” he said. “It is illegal to walk on the train track or to even be near it.
“And that’s why these things happen … because people won’t stay away from them.”
My friend Bryan and I kind of stumbled across the scene when we were walking to my car following Saturday’s OU game. I parked northeast of Campus Corner on “the other side of the tracks” and the stopped train was blocking our path to the Patmobile. We didn’t know why the train was stopped. We just knew it was in our way. Here’s a diagram of our predicament:
My least favorite weapon in the Clue has always been the candlestick. This is because I think it’s wrong to kill anyone with an object you can buy at Hobby Lobby, and because it’s not nearly as deadly or effective as a revolver…or at least I thought.
From News 6:
A Tulsa man fought off an intruder inside a gated condo community in downtown Tulsa, six stories up, a place most people would feel pretty safe.
Tim fought off the man with a gun using only a candlestick and his will to survive…
It was 7 a.m., a week ago Saturday, when Tim realized someone could be in his apartment. He went to his bedroom and realized the gun his father gave him, with one round in it, was missing from its box. He turned and a man was pointing that very gun in Tim’s face.
“My first thought, I’m thinking I’ll be the compliant victim, he’ll rob me and leave,” Tim said.
The man duct taped Tim’s hands, put him on the bed and covered his head, then started rummaging for things to steal.
Tim realized the man could come back and kill him, so he decided to go out fighting. He wiggled off the bed, got a hand free, and looked for a weapon.
“I grab my candlestick, the only thing near me,” Tim said.
The man realized Tim is free and pointed the gun, pulled the trigger, but, hadn’t chambered the bullet, so it didn’t fire. The fight was on and Tim started beating him with the candlestick, all the way out to the front door.
I hope none of you ever experience something as horrific as a robber breaking into your home and holding you at gun point, but if you do, please fend off your attacker with something better than a candlestick from your bedroom. Here are seven alternatives:
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