Yesterday was a bad day for men with long gray beards.
First, OSBI announced that they arrested Wiley Gene Davis Jr. He’s a coed baseball coach, Santa Claus impersonator and apparently has never watched “To Catch A Predator.”
A Warr Acres man often paid by local schools to play Santa Claus has been arrested after attempting to meet a teen girl for sex, authorities said Monday.
Wiley Gene Davis Jr., 49, was arrested on complaints of lewd proposals to a child under 16, violation of the Oklahoma Computer Crimes Act and possession of a firearm while in the commission of a felony.
A spokeswoman for the Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation said Davis responded to a Craigslist ad he believed was posted by a 15-year-old girl, making numerous sexual and lewd proposals and referring to himself as “Santa.”
He arrived about 7:30 p.m. Thursday at a convenience store near Coltrane and Waterloo to meet the girl and was instead greeted by OSBI agents and Guthrie police.
Davis was carrying a loaded pistol and a private investigator badge when he was arrested, authorities said.
OSBI agents said in addition to playing Santa at area schools, Davis coached coed baseball for children 6 years old and younger in the Oklahoma City area.
Shocking, huh? I can’t believe that a grown man who dresses up in a costume and promises gifts and toys to small children sitting in his lap would ever be accused of wanting to bang a 15-year-old girl, or would actually believe that a 15-year-old wanted to sleep with him. I could see that happening to the dude who plays the Easter Bunny or the neighborhood Tooth Fairy, but not Santa. Speaking of that, what ever happened to the old neighborhood Tooth Fairy? Remember him? When I was a kid, he’d prance around my neighborhood selling pixi sticks to kids as we played in the sprinkler in the front lawn, then one day he suddenly disappeared. He was an odd fellow.
Pedo Claus wasn’t the only gray beard to have a bad weekend. Meet Raymond Hulsley. He was caught trying to break into his neighbor’s house while naked and armed only with a piece of wood and a sex toy.
Move over natural gas!
Oklahoma has a new pure, clean and abundant natural resource ready to take the world by storm. It’s called Paddlefish caviar, and it can be found in murky river or lake water near you.
Via Darren Rovel with ABC News:
Caviar, preferred by society’s upper crust, is now being sourced from the most unlikely of places — Oklahoma.
The most famous caviar comes from Russia, where the Beluga sturgeon live in the Caspian Sea; however, a significant decrease in the number of fish has led to fishing restrictions.
Enter the landlocked state of Oklahoma, where the American paddlefish and its copycat eggs reside in rivers and lakes.
“We’ve had buyers from Europe, Japan, all over,” said Brent Gordon, who works for the state and supervises the Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Paddlefish Research Center. “They’re the first to tell us that the quality of our eggs and the quality of our operation is second to none.”
Cool, so how do you cash in on this lucrative new trade? Well, you don’t.
That inexplicably shirtless gentleman above is TJ Hamilton, a former OU football walk-on and current country music singer. The reason he looks so forlorn is probably that he’s facing lawsuits from three different people claiming he ripped them off to the tune of nearly a million bucks.
Here’s Tulsa’s News on 6:
A former OU football player is accused of scamming people out of nearly a million dollars.
He’s facing three lawsuits that claim he lied to investors about athletic apparel, then blew the money on his music career and lavish lifestyle.
Two Tulsa lawsuits and a third in Oklahoma City say TJ Hamilton used his football status to dupe people into investing in a bogus invention.
According to the lawsuits, Hamilton had an idea for nutritional products and innovative sports apparel, like antibacterial chin straps.
Hamilton was on the OU roster at the same time as star players Sam Bradford and Ryan Broyles. The lawsuits say Hamilton sold his ideas, by claiming he had the endorsement of his big-name teammates.
Once he had $840,000 from investors, the lawsuits say Hamilton and his parents spent the money on lavish trips to Las Vegas, airline tickets, hotels, clothing, meals, shoes and electronics.
Anti-bacterial chinstraps? Can’t believe that one didn’t pay off immediately.
The great thing about this story is not that TJ is a former OU football player who never sniffed the field. That’s just a sub-plot. What makes this story really awesome is that he’s also an aspiring country music star. We found this amazing video for the track “I Hate That Song” on YouTube. Everything about it screams artistic masterpiece void of any clichés.
Have you ever driven through a nice neighborhood like Heritage Hills or Gallardia and dreamed about what it would be like to live in one of the fancy homes? If so, you’re kind of weird. Also, you have a lot in common with Montego Logan (pictured above). The only difference is that he’s a burglar who unsuccessfully attempted to turn that dream into a reality.
A bizarre home break-in lands one man behind bars. Police arrested the suspect Tuesday afternoon in northeast Oklahoma City.
The suspect allegedly committed the crime along with his two young daughters and made no attempt to escape when confronted by the homeowner. In fact, the 35-year-old suspect made himself right at home during the crime, putting a pizza in the oven and sliding into some slippers.
He had to put the frozen pizza in the oven. What an asshole! Nothing is wrong with opening someone’s fridge and grabbing a soda or string cheese without asking, but baking a frozen pizza takes things a little too far… especially if it’s a DiGiorno. Those things are expensive.
The story gets better:
Watch out lady who hid a gun in her vagina. Move over mom who attempted to sell her kids on Facebook. It looks like we have a new frontrunner for Oklahoma criminal mastermind of the year. His name is Kenneth Webster Enlow (pictured above). In case you somehow missed it, this real life Mr. Hanky was caught hiding in a septic tank in an attempt to peep on women as they used the bathroom.
Here’s what I have to say about that:
From the “they are treating this story way too seriously” Tulsa World:
A Tulsa man who was arrested on allegations that he watched a woman and her 7-year-old daughter from underneath a White Water Park toilet near the Keystone Dam could face felony charges.
Kenneth Webster Enlow, 52, was arrested about 5 p.m. Sunday after being found covered in human waste inside the holding tank beneath a permanent outhouse at the park, which is west of Sand Springs.
The woman told sheriff’s deputies that she looked into the toilet and “saw the water move,” according to Enlow’s arrest report. “As she looked closer, she noticed that there was a man looking up at her,” the report states.
Enlow then sat in the tank for 15 minutes before police arrived, according to the report…
Enlow told deputies that he had been struck in the head with a tire iron by his girlfriend, who then drove him to the Keystone Dam and dumped him in the toilet, according to the arrest report.
In his arrest report, the woman who found him told deputies that Enlow did not begin to cry for help until after law enforcement officers arrived. Enlow stated that he had not asked for help earlier because he had been unconscious, the report says.
Keystone Fire Department firefighters got him out of the holding tank and cleaned him with a fire hose, the report says. He was then taken to the Oklahoma State University Medical Center in Tulsa to be examined.
So he blamed his tire iron wielding girlfriend? That’s a weak excuse. He should have just been honest and told the cops the truth. You know, that he was shit-faced!
Okay, that was terrible. There are about 5,000 different bad jokes and puns out there and I went with one of the worst. At least I’m not the only person to do it. Since this story broke, it’s gone viral in the news and on social media. Seriously, check Facebook right now. I guarantee you that one of your friends from high school has posted this story on their wall, and that someone has already left the comment “What a shithead.” For what it’s worth, five people probably liked that comment.
Instead of tossing out more bad jokes, puns and references to Shawshank Redemption or Trainspotting, I thought I’d focus on some random things you need to know about the case.
Here we go:
1. If you do anything today, watch the following video from KJRH. They interview the mom who saw that face of sadness looking up at her through the toilet.
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