It’s spring in Oklahoma. That means several months of beautiful days ruined by awful wind, state maps in the corner of your screen, allergies, bedazzled weather ties, insurance adjusters, Thunder playoffs, Val Caster, The Arts Festival, and of course, weather dongs.
To celebrate this occasion, we’re launching our first ever TLO Weather Dong Contest presented by Patricia’s! Yep, Patricia’s. Here’s how it works:
From today through June 15, if you spot a weather dong on an Oklahoma TV channel, simply snap a pic or screenshot and email it to us. When you do, include the date, time, and channel the weather dong appeared. In June, we’ll gather up our favorite weather dongs and let TLO readers vote for the best. The person who wins will get $200, and the other finalists will get gift cards to Patricia’s.
But wait. There’s more!
To add an extra layer of intrigue, and perhaps encourage the creation of more vibrant and impressive weather dongs for everyone’s enjoyment, we’re also going to give $100 to the local TV personality (if applicable) that appears in the photo. For example, let’s say Janet Barresi submitted that pic of Damon Lane above and won the contest. Barresi would get $200 and Damon Lane would get $100. Pretty cool, huh?
If all this talk is making a weather dong grow on your own personal doppler radar, I don’t blame you. After the jump, I’ve included some weather dong examples and other rules:
After two hard-fought games against Danny Bowien and Vanity Perkins, Marla Morgan was eliminated from Ogle Madness yesterday by Gary England by a score of 366 – 228. In a last-ditch effort to secure votes, Marla sent us one of her patented emails:
I am pleased to have advanced in your contest, I’ve always liked contests! But you really need a more recent picture of me, so here is one from last year during that hot Summer. More recent material is always good when in contests! BTW, that silly comment about me being a high maintenance spouse? I didn’t like that too much. I don’t get mad very often, but when I do, it’s not very pretty.
So, Marla Morgan sent me a photo from one hot American summer. This better be good. Let’s check it out:
It looks like we’re not the only ones who are distraught that Emily Sutton has a serious boyfriend.
Last night, an Ogle Mole sent us a screenshot of Reed Timmer’s Tinder profile. Try saying that three times real fast. I guess he’s looking for a quick pick me up, rebound or wanting to make Abigail Ogle jealous.
In case you’re in a relationship, anti-technology or have a legitimate social life, Tinder is the hottest new online dating app. As opposed to dating sites that force you to lie about things on personality tests, Tinder is based more on first-impressions and where you’re located. You scroll through photos and swipe right on the ones you like, and left on the ones you don’t like. If two people mutually swipe right on each other, they’re connected, probably meet up for drinks at the Mule or Louie’s, and then have sex. At least I think that’s how it works. Ever since that bad experience I had on Adult Friend Finder, I stay away from online dating.
Here’s a screenshot of Reed’s profile:
It’s been a few years since meteorologist Lacey Swope debuted on News 9, and to this day she can’t shake being labeled Emily Sutton 2.0.
I’ve never been 100% sure if that was intentional or a coincidence. I flip-flop on it all the time. Was News 9 specifically looking for a smart, attractive, bubbly brunette who can give the weather report with the charm and zeal of a first grade teacher like Emily Sutton, or did they just stumble across a talented TV meteorologist who, oh by the way, just happens to be a virtual clone of Emily Sutton?
Well, I think we may be getting closer to answering that question. It looks like Lacey Swope now has her own fishing photo contest.
Here are the details:
Since we’re about to change our state’s name to “New Minnesota,” I thought I’d address an epidemic that’s destroying our state: Awful Winter Weather Photography.
You know what I’m talking about. You wake up to three to five fresh inches of snow on the ground and your backyard looks like a pretty winter wonderland. You let the dogs out and they start playing and, oh my god, look at the snow on the patio furniture and the birds in that tree. And then it happens. Out comes the phone. You snap a couple of pics and post them to Facebook, Instagram or Twitter. Then your aunt or friend from college you haven’t seen in years “likes” them and you feel all warm and happy, despite the fact you annoyed every one of your friends and followers with some boring, annoying “photography”.
If you’re one of those people, don’t feel too bad. Everyone does it. Unfortunately, that’s not where the madness stops. Some people actually send those pics to TV news stations. Amazingly, the news stations don’t seem to mind. In fact, they encourage it. They ask for readers to submit photos and then put them on the air and call it news. This prompts people to take and send more pics, creating a vicious cycle of winter weather madness that’s got to stop.
Seriously, this craze of sending camera phone pics of snow to the TV news media is out of control. It’s become the “Live Report from the Icy Intersection” shot of the 1990s or “School Closings Scroll” of the 2000s. Pretty soon, the TV news media is going to try to cram all this stuff on one screen. They’ll have the school closings scroll on the bottom, with the rest of the screen divided between live radar, stormchaser dashboard cam, lazy reporter at Britton and I-235 bridge with ruler cam, Bob Mills Integris Winstar cam, and a slide show that rotates awful viewer submitted winter weather pics. Actually, I think News 9 already does that, so never mind.
Anyway, I stopped by the News 9 Facebook Page and rounded up the 10 most annoying types of pics people send to news channels or post on Facebook or whatever. These account for 99% of all winter photographs. Please do us all a favor and put the phone down and stop. Nobody cares. I repeat, nobody cares.
Check them out:
1. Rulers, Tape Measures or Yardsticks
This is one of the most common pics. What happens is Emily Sutton will say something on air like “Send us your snow totals in Wetumka!” and then people rush outside and take these. They’re pretty awful. Wow. Four inches of snow. I hope you’re okay.
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