Over the past year, the one question that we’re most often asked is “What do you all look like? Why haven’t you revealed yourselves?” In fact, one very very very persistent hair stylist in the Dave Morris Fan Club has asked us some form of this question many times. The question usually contains the words “acne,” “losers” and “jobless”, and to be honest with you, it isn’t really nice.

Anyway, in conjunction with our anniversary week, and to prove to everyone how handsome we are and that we are not scared to reveal our secret identities, we have posted four possible pictures of us. We’ll leave it up to you all, our readers, to determine which picture you think is of us. Take a look after the jump…

Picture 1:

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Picture 2:

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Picture 3:

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Picture 4:

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Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post’s poll.

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Okay. So those pictures may or may not actually be of us. They may or may not just be some pictures of “cool” people that we grabbed from Look at OKC. And the girl in the green dress may or may not have green eyes. Regardless, If you got this far, you should still vote.

From IGN.com:

Babe of the Day takes a trip to Playboy TV for today’s daily dose of ogle-worthy ladies. Model and actress Ashlynn Brooke makes her IGN debut and by the look of her, she won’t disappoint.

Born and raised in Okalahoma, this very busy lady on the move currently calls sunny Southern California home and will soon grace Playboy TV screens everywhere this summer. Ashlynn will guest star on “Foursome”, Playboy TV’s newest reality show about blind dating. The show and Ashlynn make their premiere late this summer, so keep your browsers aimed at IGN for future coverage of Ashlynn’s antics.

I guess since Clark Matthews gets Playboy TV, we’ll have to uncomfortable watch it at his house. Also, does anyone else think it is ironic that the IGN.com writer used the word “Ogle?”

About 5 years ago, I lived in Tulsa for three months. It was a traumatic experience. Anyway, the one bad thing about coming home was that I had to leave behind my girlfriend and current playboy model Haydn Porter. I tell you all what I told her: “That’s life. Get over it. Move on.”

UPDATE: Whoa. Apparently, Haydn was only 14 when I lived in Tulsa. I was just kidding. Nevermind.

Jennifer, a Tulsa area native, was the first of Oklahoma’s back-to-back Miss America Pageant winners. I guess this disproves Tony’s argument that there are no attractive women from Tulsa.

First came the Jim Traber/Mark Rodgers tiff.  Now, the state capitol is getting in the fighting mood.  According to an Associated Press report:

Sen. Patrick Anderson, R-Enid, told the Tulsa World that Rep. Randy Terrill, R-Moore, tried to pick a fight with him, using words to the effect, “I’ll whip your ass.”

Now, we can argue all day and night about the vast array of meanings a phrase like “I’ll whip your ass” can take on, but let’s just assume it was the most common usage.  That means TheLostOgle.com’s favorite state congressman is not only a racist, but a bit of a bully.  But, why was he so upset that he went after a member of his own party?

Oh, the usual.  Terrill introduced a new, racist, bill** trying to outlaw Spanish being spoken anywhere at anytime, and the outcry caused Senator Anderson to get overloaded with calls from constituents attempting to persuade him to vote for the bill.  Of course, that outcry was created by Terrill robocalling Anderson’s district begging like minded people to flood Anderson with calls.  For his part, Anderson passed on those concerns to Representative Xenophobe by way of forwarding every single call to Terrill’s office, including a a call from Mrs. Anderson requesting that her husband pick up some tamales on the way home.

So, as one can see, it was a perfectly rational argument between two grown men.  Regardless, we at TheLostOgle have been wondering why there has been a rash of scuffles lately.  Then, we found out that they are all staged in promoting a local Battle Royale wrestling event.  It made perfect sense when we uncovered the teams:

     Team Ogle                    Team Wimgo
    Mark Rodgers                       Jim Traber
     Patrick Anderson                 Randy Terrill
     Patrick                                 Steve Hunt
     Dixie Chicks^^                   Toby Keith
     Mike Gundy                          Jenni Carlson
     Tony Sellars                         Bill Simonson
     Good Taste                          Hinder

** Tony thinks the target of the bill is not actually Mexican immigrants, but The Oklahoman’s side project Viva Oklahoma!.

^^ The Dixie Chicks/Toby Keith feud was originally disqualified because the ladies are all from Texas.  However, it was determined that because Natalie Maines’ husband once played a vampire from Oklahoma, they were reinstated.

A few months ago, we at The Lost Ogle threw around some potential name ideas for the hopefully soon to be here NBA team. It started off fun, but now hearing someone give their “2-cents” on the name of our future NBA franchise is torture. Seriously, I’d rather listen to Danny Williams spit out tongue twisters for an hour or watch Jenni Carlson and Gan Matthews reenact the pottery scene from Ghost before I’d choose to listen to some caller on the Sports Animal spend five minutes talking about how cool it would be if the team was named the “Barons.” Hell, the Oklahoman even started a cheesy Ogle March Madness style tournament to pick out the name. If they are doing it, the topic has to be lame.

Anyway, to help get everyone off the “Name that NBA Team” kick, we figured it would be nice to throw out a new topic:

Come Up with a mascot for Oklahoma City Community College

In all reality, this is probably more important than naming the NBA team, because at least the Sonics are…well…the Sonics. Oklahoma City Community College doesn’t have a mascot. I just has a few nicknames like “Harvard on May,” “O-Triple-C” or O-C-Cubed.” That’s really unfair to alumni like (gulp) myself who don’t want to say we went to Oklahoma City Community College, and would rather say we went to the “Home of the BLANKS.”

Find out 10 potential BLANKS after the jump.

The Commuters

Okay. I’m not technically going to count this one in the Top 10, because we kind of brought it up back when we were listing our Top 100 Ideas for the Oklahoma Idea’s Initiative. We even proposed the following fight song:

“We are the commuters…of O’ Triple C.
Drive Drive Day or Night. Drive Drive Fight Fight Fight.
We are the commuters of O’ Triple C.
Fight!”

p.s.- We also mentioned that I should be declared as the city’s first ever Wet T-Shirt contest laureate. That hasn’t happened yet. Can someone hurry up and make that happen?

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Soccer Moms

I bet if you drive through the OCCC parking lot, you’ll see a bunch of messy mini-vans or late 90’s SUVS. That’s because Soccer Moms flock tot his school. Apparently, OCCC has a good day care or something.

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GEDs

One neat thing about being a High School Graduate attending Harvard on May is that you have something most of the other students don’t have: a High School diploma.

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Sonics

This name would be good to simply satisfy all those people who liked to <sarcasm> cleverly </sarcasm> mention that Sonic Drive-In could sponsor the Sonics when they moved here. Also, if you take a good look in the Soccer Moms vehicles, you are probably guaranteed to see a couple of empty Sonic cups on floorboard of the backseat.

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Southsiders

Originally, we were going to call this one The Poor People. But then Clark Matthews mentioned that we shouldn’t make fun of Tony, so we went with Southsiders instead.

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Roses

Rose State Junior College is one of the few schools that OCCC students can look down upon. That and some school in Stillwater.

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Top Dawgs

Although his act gradually got old, we still miss Top Dawg. This could be an easy way to bring him back. And since OCCC has no sports team, we wouldn’t have to see him spin his head around for the TV camera when coming back from a TV timout.

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Thunderbirds

Some people think this should be the name of our NBA franchise. What a terrible idea. What happened, were the Monte Carlos already taken? Anyway, I’m so terrified that our NBA team will be named the Thunderbirds that I would love for OCCC to snatch it up first.

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Associates

Since this is the only degree you can get at Oklahoma City Community College, it makes perfect sense for this to be the schools mascot. Students could even audition to be the mascot at all College events…if there are any.

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Broncos

When you Google “Bronchos”, which happens to be the mascot of the University of Central Oklahoma, Google asks:

Did you mean: broncos

That probably means that UCO spells the word wrong. Here’s a chance for OCCC to one-up the 4-year commuter school from Edmond.

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Lifeguards

Perhaps the oddest thing about Oklahoma City Community College is that they have an Olympic sized swimming pool and diving center. I’m not sure if it is good or bad that this this the most lasting thing from the 1989 Olympic Festival.

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Well…that’s the list. What did I forget? Whoever leaves the best one wins a FREE copy of this weeks Gazette, which some are already calling the greatest Gazette ever. EVER!

Originally, Clark Matthews’ idea was to start a series called “A Douche Bag a Day in the Month of May.” Thankfully, Tony and I were able to convince him that a ‘Hot Girl a Day’ series would be much better.

Anyway, as a homage to Clark’s original idea, here is the Metro’s biggest douche bag’s hot girlfriend.

Yesterday, Mark Rodgers and Jim Traber engaged in the world’s greatest only debate having to do with the University of Oklahoma baseball team. I’ll avoid keeping score, with the exception of grading the entire thing as FREAKING AWESOME AS HELL! Seriously, if the Sports Animal was like this all the time I would listen a lot more often.

You can find the audio here. It’s fifteen minutes long, but the good stuff really kicks in during the last 2-3 minutes or so.

But who would write the post? I nominated Patrick, but he declined saying that his research would begin with a night at the Red Dog Saloon, followed by us never seeing him again. Tony cited his strict religious upbringing and fear of anything not sanctioned by James Dobson as means of begging off. So that left it up to me, Clark Matthews, to be the expert on the underbelly of our fair town.

After exhaustive research, here is my list of the top 10 Sleaziest Locations in Oklahoma City:

10. Britton Discount Cigarettes

Every day, on my way home from work, I get stuck in the daily traffic jam on Britton being caused by “Britton Discount Cigarettes.” Part of me feels like I should respect their great business plan. They figured out that if you smoke, you probably don’t exercise either, so they sell cigarettes at a drive thru window. Apparently pretty cheap, because rush hour always sees a parking lot in the right hand eastbound lane of Britton and several cars hoping to turn left in the westbound lane. The people are just about what you would expect. They are in beat up cars, with their faded KATT stickers on the bumper, and even though I am in the cocoon of my vehicle, I can imagine how foul it must smell on the interior. Making the place that much more repulsive is that they located it just about a block from what is now Centennial High School, but used to be my alma mater, John Marshall. So, you know they are probably making a killing selling to underage kids who are ditching class.

Right now, a good portion of our smoker readers are thinking they need to check this place out.

9. Pasquali & Palumbo

It isn’t just that Marco Palumbo is a lawyer who advertises on television. If that were the case, the law firm of Dan Davis would have received a coveted spot on this list. What sets Counselor Palumbo apart is his education (emphasis ours):

Marco Palumbo is a graduate of the Oklahoma City University School of Law, where he received a Juris Doctorate degree. Mr. Palumbo studied International and Comparative Law at the University of Oxford and is a graduate of Colorado State University, where he received a Bachelor of Science degree in Political Science.

Oxford? He studied at Oxford? When one sees that on a resume, doesn’t it usually imply that the person was a Rhodes Scholar? Usually when you think of a recipient of the Rhodes Scholarship, you generally think of, I don’t know, pioneers of science, candidates for first lady, or even a couple of Oklahoma’s favorite sons (Carl Albert and David Boren). Palumbo, though, is an opportunistic ambulance chaser with a cool pair of sunglasses who shows off the intensity of the Columbine killers while begging for frivolous lawsuits.

8. Clark Matthews garage

For legal reasons, I prefer not to delve too deeply into this one.

7. Blazers Game

Staged fights and small children being encouraged to shout “but they still suck!”

6. Casady

Sure, the pristine campus dotted with well maintained brick buildings, a lovely pond, and a plethora of security guards well prepared to run off teenagers who dare to use their football field to play a pick up game looks nice. Any place attended so heavily by trust fund blue bloods, though, has to have a seedy underbelly.

5. Ziggyz

No matter where one stands on the legality of drugs, I doubt anyone can argue that it is a good thing. I think a place selling the paraphernalia, might try.

4. Anywhere Jim Inhofe is speaking

As the election cycle heats up, you can rest assured that any place Jim Inhofe appears to speak will belong on this list. As this old Gazette article chronicles, our senior Senator has always had a penchant for dirty tactics even as a fresh candidate. Now, as a career politician, Inhofe has honed his craft and turned every campaign into a toxic landfill. Truth will be lacking, and substance will never appear in his stump speech. Have fun with that Andrew Rice.

(True story: At a recent Chamber of Commerce meeting in which Inhofe was invited to give a non-political speech, his address devolved into a tirade about how Barack Obama is a Muslim. Putting aside that there are supposed to be no religious tests for public office, Inhofe’s ire would make more sense if he didn’t, you know, work with Obama and know that Obama is a Christian. Then again, expecting Inhofe to tell the truth when a lie is more convenient is lunacy.)

3. Patrick’s Liver

According to the Free Online Dictionary, one of the definitions of sleazy is: “Shabby, dirty, and vulgar”

After years of abuse, Patrick’s liver definitely fits the first two. I get the impression that his liver may also be a bit racist**, which I find vulgar.

**To be clear, only Patrick’s liver is racist. The rest of his organs are perfectly civil.

2. South Robinson

Some say South Robinson is sleazy because pimps and prostitutes loiter all along the street. Personally, I think it is sleazy because there is a guy with a video camera trying to get footage of guys getting it on with hookers that hangs out there.

1. XXXtasy Ranch

There are a surprising number of strip clubs/nudie bars/gentleman’s clubs in Oklahoma City. Most of them, though, have generally inconspicuous names like Bosco’s or Blue Fox. One can say they are going to one of those places and unless the person is “in the know” (in which case they will probably beg to go with), you will not be outed as a perv. Not so with the XXXtasy Ranch who revels in being a den of iniquity. Couple that with the phallic chimney (which, I’m sure, goes with the fireplace of the interior library where men in smoking jackets that have leather patches on the elbows go to sip brandy and debate Proust) and you have one of the sleaziest places in town.

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Keep in mind that we at TheLostOgle.com love this fair city in spite of, or in some cases because of, the places mentioned above. However, we occasionally miss something, and that, fair reader, is where you come in. If you feel your local cathouse was unfairly passed over, the comments section begs for you to share.

Jessica came in number 4 in our rankings of the 20 Hottest Chicks in the Oklahoma City News Media.  She even got a first place vote.