Remember a few weeks ago when we wrote about the owner of The Key building the country’s largest castle / home in Edmond?
We’ve received a couple of emails from Ogle Moles theorizing what it’s all about.
Here’s what the Castle is, in all likelihood, about. Oklahoma’s homestead exemption outside city limits is 160 acres, regardless of value. If you have creditor problems, or contingent liabilities of magnitude that have a distinct possibility of morphing into fixed liabilities of magnitude, and you want to shield your assets from liability, that is, place your assets beyond the reach of your creditors, then a good place to park those assets is in a homestead. It’s called bankruptcy planning, and it’s legal. After you discharge your debts in Chapter 7, you sell the home, maybe for less than you paid, but your still well ahead.
Wouldn’t that be awesome, the guy who offers customer classes on fiscal responsibility dumping all his money into a castle so others can’t take it. BRILLIANT! That’s like getting one of those Nigerian Prince scam emails from Dave Ramsey.
Of course, the bankruptcy theory is just speculation, Guy From The Key’s Legal Team. We really don’t think that will happen. The Key is probably a very successful business.
The second email was a little less serious, but still reasonable.
I’ve got great concerns when I see goings on like this that there are always hidden motives. You don’t suppose they will build this thing…..hang someone with a bad note, and sell it out only to convert it into a mosque.
I suppose with all the LifeChurch.tv campuses, a castle/mosque wouldn’t be out-of-place. But when I think of mosques, I don’t think of castles. I’m thinking if it’s going to become a religious place, it will probably become a Church of Scientology or Latter-Day Saints. And by looking at the design, it does look like an old European church. It would be nice to have a church that looks like a castle instead of some crappy church that just moved into an abandoned Wal-Mart.
We also got an email from this asshole:
Yesterday, 25,000 educators, students and left-leaning politicians flocked to the Oklahoma Capitol to protest more education budget cuts from the Oklahoma lawmakers. Hard to believe, isn’t it? Oklahoma teachers having to beg for educational funding. That’s hasn’t been going on since, oh, 1907.
The protest was pretty large and cool, and naturally got the attention of our print and TV news media. Knowing that teachers are self-absorbed, attention-craving heathens who love nothing more than to see themselves on television, they…wait…I thought I was writing about Christina Fallin again. My bad.
In addition to the news media, everyone with a phone was taking pics and posting them to Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Grinder. This inspired random photo lists to appear online. Someone, probably a teacher, uploaded 17 of the Sassiest Signs from the rally to Buzzfeed. Former TLO Apprentice and now Death Star subcontractor Matt Carney posted his “10 Best Signs” on the floundering NewsOK.com Digital Desk. Even Mike McCarville got in on the action by downplaying the entire thing and portraying Oklahoma legislators as victims.
Being the son of a distinguished teacher, administrator and education advocate, I thought it would be fun to rebel and post my own photo round-up from the rally. Unfortunately, my original plan to feature the 10 Hottest Teachers from the event didn’t work out too well. I guess all the pom coaches stayed behind to get manicures. Undeterred, I then combed through photo after photo looking for blatant misspellings or any sign comparing Obama to Hitler. That didn’t turn up much either. Apparently, these pro-education rallies are much different from the ones put on by the Tea Party.
Finally, I settled upon the 15 dumbest photos from the event. In no particular order, here they are:
Good news! The first 100 voters in this poll will get a free DVD of Thunderstruck!
Just kidding. Happy April Fools Day! We don’t hate you as much as HBO does.
Our Southeast Regional Final is a good one. It’s Kid Clutch / Slim Reaper / The Servant vs. Bizzaro Emily Sutton / Almost Emily Sutton / Better Than Emily Sutton:
(1) Kevin Durant vs. (6)Lacey Swope
It’s the dream match-up we’ve all been waiting for! We have the man who brings us the old movies versus the journalists who interviewed celebrities in the new ones during the 80s and 90s. One guy is obsessed with the Gremlin’s theme, while the other simply wants to help you “discover” little known places and people in Oklahoma.
Here’s your North Regional Final:
(7) BJ Wexler vs. (13) Dino Lalli
Vote after the jump:
The lady pictured above is Holly Wilson. She’s an Oklahoma artist, women’s rights advocate and apparently one of the world’s leading experts on small, hobbit-like penises.
Holly Wilson is a sculptor living in Mustang, Okla., who’s tired of dealing with gallery dudes who attempt to dismiss her expertise and undervalue her work just because she’s a woman. So Wilson crafted a secret weapon that she could keep in her pocket to give her strength when negotiating with sexist men: a 1½-inch-long cast bronze penis. Now, Wilson has launched a Kickstarter campaign to put her prototype penis into production and help other women “bring your dick to the table,” too. Her slogan: “If all that separates us is a dick, then here is mine. Now let’s get down to business.”
Women like Holly Wilson need to realize that men don’t “dismiss their expertise” or “undervalue her work” because they don’t have a penis. It’s actually because the male brain, on average, is about 8% – 13% larger than the female brain, and we’re simply worried you’re not capable of making the correct decision. Therefore, Holly should be bringing a miniature bronze brain to the table. Zing!
Here are a few pic of the penis sculptures. I’m not sure if photos of bronze miniature penises are considered NSFW, but if they are, be warned:
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