If you haven’t heard, one of our elected officials is a genetically engineered robot. This got us thinking. What if there are more Oklahoma robots out there???
Here are seven people who may also be robots:
7. Terrell’s Roofing Guy
Why he’s a robot: Because someone has plugged Fox News talking points into his hard drive and he’s regurgitating them during his commercials for aluminium siding.
Why he isn’t a robot: Because if regurgitating what you heard on conservative talk radio/tv made you a robot, 90% of Oklahoma would be robots.
6. Amanda Taylor
Why she’s a robot: Her interviews with “Oklahoma Country Music Legends” and “Rising Nashville Stars” are robot caliber.
Why she isn’t a robot: She didn’t short circuit when she saved that baby from drowning in the Northpark mall fountain.
It’s a sex week spectacular at The Oklahoman.
Apparently, the paper’s Baby Boomer/AARP targeted special edition, Vantage, is celebrating July with a special sex edition. It’s a great idea, because let’s be honest, who doesn’t want to get sex tips and advice from a conservative newspaper that prints a prayer on its front page.
NewsOK.com is playing along by posting and heavily promoting the content online. They know sex equals pageviews, and being the pageview whores they are, they turn on the red light and can’t resist. Here are some random articles:
• 8 ways to avoid back pain while having sex
• You won’t believe how Ronnie Kay has kept it going over the years
• Two beds or one? The twin bed dilemma.
• Quiz: Which Golden Girl Love Interest Are You?
• 10 Things Guys Look For When Courting A Cougar by Dave Morris
Okay, I made those up. They’re not in the Vantage sex issue, but they probably should be. Instead, we’re treated to articles like “6 Reasons Why Sex Is Better After 50,” “As God is my witness, I’ll never let anyone see me naked again,” and this gem:
Mary Fallin has a new little puppy. That’s a pic of him chewing up some of the open records we requested.
The dog is a cute little white lab that Mary probably purchased from a puppy mill in Tuttle, because if there’s one person in this state who would support puppy mill breeders, its horse slaughter proponent Mary Fallin.
Because Mary can’t decide anything on her own, she’s asking for help from the public to choose the pup’s name.
Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin is seeking the public’s help in naming a new white Labrador retriever puppy.Fallin said Thursday she is asking people to visit her Facebook page and offer ideas. Among the more than 350 names suggested on her page are Freedom, Reagan, Okie, and Cowboy.Fallin and her husband, Wade Christensen, already have a young Labrador mix named Burney, a rescue dog found abandoned near a grassfire in northeast Oklahoma City two years ago. Fallin’s longtime dog Rascal died last year.Fallin described the new puppy as “darling,” but says he’s already chewed up a pair of shoes. She added: “He’s just as cute as he can be, but he sure likes to bite.”
Yeah, something tells me that’s not the first time Mary’s said “He’s just as cute as he can be, but he sure likes to bite.”
In case it’s not obvious, Trooper is the perfect name for the dog. In fact, the name is so perfect that there’s no way Mary will go with it. Here are a few other suggestions:
We’ve just completed the second week of the TLO Trivia Night League of Champions 2.0. If you haven’t given it a shot yet, you should. The Top 20 teams are invited to a playoff for a $1,000 jackpot and there’s still time to qualify. That’s a lot of TLO ink pens. Trust me.
The big news is that America turns 238 week. To honor of our country’s name day, we’ve cancelled trivia at Buffalo Wild Wings on NW Expressway for this Friday. This is so you can eat hot dogs and pretend to like fireworks with your friends and family. It resumes next week.
Here are this week’s five trivia questions for you.
1. Which country is the world’s largest manufacturer of fireworks?
2. The seven rays on the Statue of Liberty’s crown represent what?
3. Which two former Presidents died on July 4th, 1826?
4. Which state is home to the largest US city named Independence?
5. With 5… How many hot dogs did Joey Chestnut consume at last year’s Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest?
This week’s recap, League of Champions standings and the answers to the questions are after the jump:
I’m going to be straight with you, readers. There’s a lot of crap that has gone on this past week. We have the World Cup and primary elections in addition to like a bazillion things that happened in Downtown over the weekend. I’m a let you know right now that I was not able to cover every single little thing. Seriously, this is a once weekly thing, and if we could spread stuff out more, it would make it easier on me. I wouldn’t have to try to fit everything into one post, and I’d probably have more to write about on those weeks when it seems like nothing happens. So, in the future, please don’t schedule things on weeks when there are already things happening. Please and thank you.
Before we get to the tweets, can I just let it be known that I want to see a million Instagrams and tweets about fireworks and drunken shenanigans in the name of America this weekend? Bonus points to those of you who find compromising pics of local celebs and politicians enjoying their freedom.
Anyway, check out the tweets after the jump!
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