The Lost Ogle


Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

While We’re At It: Other articles of clothing that we should make illegal.

hoodie

As you know, state senator Don Barrington recently proposed a bill that would make wearing a hood to “intentionally conceal [one’s] identity in a public place”– as the proposed law broadly states– punishable by a fine of up to $500.

The media has latched onto the story – this site included – and essentially named it the “No Hoodie Bill.” It got me thinking that if we’re going to make it illegal to wear hoodies, then we should ban other articles of clothing, too. Here are a few possible amendments to help Barrington out in his quest to eliminate warm, comfortable clothing:

01-man-flip-flops

SECTION 1: AMENDMENT A: It shall be unlawful for any person in this state to:

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One of those hip, cool, urban churches may ruin the bar scene on NW 23rd…

okc community church

The cool kids pictured above who look like they just had a nice meal at Red Lobster before going to a Jars of Clay concert are the folks behind Community Church. It’s one of the 5,000,000 non-denominational churches in Oklahoma City where people go to pray and sing and hold hands and untuck their dress shirts while wearing a tie and all that other silly stuff.

According to a recent article in The Oklahoman, the church is about to buy and move into an empty space next to the Tower Theatre along NW 23rd. As a result, future development in the area is in jeopardy. Apparently, Oklahoma’s ridiculous alcohol and zoning laws would prevent new bars from opening within 300 feet of the church, thus destroying the whimsical hopes and dreams of locals who envision NW 23rd becoming Oklahoma City’s version of Austin’s Congress Ave.

Well, at least that’s what Steve Lackmeyer had to say in this week’s column. He took a break from lecturing people on social media to tell us all about it.

The string of empty store fronts at 421 NW 23 is once again being targeted for conversion into a large venue, but instead of a music site with alcohol sales, the latest deal could turn the property into a church.

Neighbors protested the prior plan to convert the property immediately east of Tower Theater into a music hall, noting the business would have no parking and that patrons could end up parking on nearby residential streets.

The latest deal for a 223-seat church likely will not renew fears of intoxicated patrons wandering into neighborhoods late at night. But other ramifications are quietly being discussed behind the scenes along the increasingly popular Uptown 23rd Street corridor.

Tim Mannin, pastor at OKC Community Church, and the owners of the Tower Theater were not agreeable to doing interviews on the church’s pending purchase of the property. But the church’s opening would, by state law, prevent any new bars or venues (like Grandad’s nearby) from obtaining an ABC-3 alcohol zoning within 300 feet of 421 NW 23.

Wait a second? If they create this church it means we won’t have any more bars like Grandad’s opening on 23rd? Hallelujah! Amen! Sign me up and baptize me like I’m Daniel Plainview! Let’s get that church going.

Okay, I’m just kind of kidding. Grandad’s is a nice little bar if you like loud music or literally want to feel like you’re drinking alone in your grandpa’s garage. Basically, it’s a good bar for readers of the Oklahoma Gazette.

Here are more details:

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People still think we’re part of the Street Outlaws gang…

street-outlaws-550x297

The 4th season of Street Outlaws debuted on the Discovery Channel a few weeks ago. In this season, the show is getting bigger and better and faster.

In the first episode, some street racers from Chicago challenge Big Chief and the OKC gang to a race off. It gets rained out, so they all formed a circle and had something called a “muffler jerk” instead. In the second episode, Big Chief talks about his dream of someday managing an Auto Zone, while Farm Truck and AZN both learn how to read. It’s some touching stuff that I totally just made up.

Like the show’s previous seasons, we’re once again receiving a little spike in traffic on Monday nights after a new episode airs. This year, things are a bit different. Random people from across the world are no longer stumbling across our award-winning review of the first episode, but instead land on this revelation that Street Outlaws – a “reality” TV show where grown men who look like they just got a lap dance at the Red Dog put on lady motorcycle helmets and race fancy cars on airport runways and state highways that are closed by the police – is not 100% real.

Thanks to these posts, we receive articulate hate mail from Street Outlaws fans like this:

To all the Pin Heads out there crying, that the show is staged. If you mean it’s staged, in that the road is shut down by the police and there are EMS  on scene. I got ya, I like that fact safety is strongly considered in the production of this program. The heart of Street Outlaws is in the time,money and effort these young people put in to building these cars. That is real.. And when these Boyz mash their foot in it,,,,,shit just got Really real…
So,,,stop worrying about what’s going on be hide the scene, and just enjoy the racin!! I can assure you, this is as real as it effen gets..
Big Chief Will Rule

Random questions from confused Ogles like this:

Hey my name is Nathan Ogle from Kokomo, I.N. I found ur site looking up stuff about “Street Outlaws” I was just wondering where ur name Thelostogle came from?

Funny emails from people who think that we’re actually part of the show like this…

Love the show since the first episode!! I have my favorites like anyone but all y’all are a great team for the show! And nobody can dislike Farm Truck..Especially where I’m from..Go Big Chief!
Thanks for the show..
Dooley

And extremely sad, depressing (yet funny) emails from people who think we’re part of the show like this…

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Harold Hamm still writes checks…

harold hamm divorce

Well, you probably don’t want to get in line behind Harold Hamm at the grocery store.

Earlier this week, we learned that the greedy oil baron still writes checks. We also learned that his greedy oil baroness ex-wife, Sue Ann, doesn’t accept them.

Via Reuter’s:

Harold Hamm, the chief executive of oil driller Continental Resources who is embroiled in a bitter divorce, offered to pay his former wife $974.8 million, but she rejected a hand-written check, lawyers for both sides said on Tuesday.

Hamm’s offer would have paid his ex-wife, Sue Ann Arnall, immediately the full cash value of what he owes based on a November divorce ruling by an Oklahoma County judge.

The lawyers said Arnall did not want to accept the check for fear of hurting her appeal of that decision.

Michael Burrage, Hamm’s lawyer, said in an email that Arnall could still cash the check if she wants to, and Hamm had borrowed funds to ensure there would be enough cash in his account to cover it.

Hamm’s offer to pay his ex-wife should stop the interest of more than $93,000 per day that has accrued on the award since November, his lawyer said.

Before we continue, can we all give one big collective “Fuck you!” to Harold and Sue Ann? Kids go hungry, college graduates struggle to find jobs and pay students loans, and the Thunder couldn’t afford to dip into the luxury tax to pay James Harden, but these two fucks are arguing over whether or not to cash a $974.8-million check and avoid paying $93,000 per day in interest. What a messed up world.

Seriously, screw those turtle and lizard impersonators. Even Scrooge McDuck and Flintheart Glomgold think they are petty assholes. If I was the judge in this case, I’d turn into some judicial Robin Hood and rule they give half of their net-worths to charity. I’d then toss Eric Eissenstat a mint.

Anyway, CNBC got a copy of the handwritten check and sent it out via Twitter. Check it out:

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The 12 Best Places to Work in Oklahoma If You Want to Impress Someone

When you meet a new person, what’s the first thing they ask you? It’s like they have to know what you do to earn money before they feel comfortable judging you as a person. In my single days, I often told dudes at bars that I was a professional hit woman. No one believed it, but they generally laughed and bought me a beer. But I digress.

The job market in Oklahoma is small, so it can sometimes feel like there are only a handful of places to work. Regardless of what they say about the job market in OKC, I don’t think it’s as full of opportunities as some would have you believe. That’s why there are only a few places that it’s cool to work. And, if you’re like me and you don’t work for those places, it’s cool to lie.

So, without further ado, here are the 10 best places to say you work for….

chesapeake sign

1. Devon/Chesapeake

In my head, these are pretty much the same company. One has a terrifying tower, and another has a college-style campus. Both companies sponsor the hell out of things we enjoy, and both are pretty down with defiling the Earth in the name of profit. Any way you slice it, both are places that really impress others when you say you work for them. (Trust me, I’ve done it.) Which is really weird to me because almost everyone I know who works for those companies has either cheated on their spouses or amassed an impressive collection of DUIs. But I’m sure both of these companies are just as good and upstanding as they portray themselves to be.

sonic drinks

2. Sonic

When I was a child, I had two career ambitions: I wanted to be a writer like Beverly Cleary because Ramona Quimby was a badass, and I also wanted to be a Sonic carhop because I really wanted one of those change dispensers on my belt. Flash forward to now, and I see that I should’ve put the carhop dream in front of writing. (It’s infinitely more lucrative.) And, if we’re being completely honest, it probably would look better on a resume. Who even cares if Sonic is the one restaurant that always manages to get hair in your food, regardless of location? People are impressed when you tell them that you’re the gatekeeper for those thousand-some-odd drink combinations.

okc biz renzi stone

3. Saxum PR

This is just so you can make those cool 40 Under 40 lists.

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