10) The improbable win
Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead. There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive – Miracle Max
It was hard to imagine a 31-24 Oklahoma win as the 4th quarter began Saturday night in Knoxville. Down 17-3. No offense. Bad interception. Gassed defense. 102,000 screaming hillbillies.
But sometimes, a team isn’t really dead. It just looks that way.
Good morning and happy Monday, everybody! Man, that was some football weekend. Not that I know firsthand. I attended a wedding shower during the OU game where a bunch of OSU fans literally cheered when Rodney Anderson was injured. But don’t worry, every last one of them assured me that Sooner fans are the real assholes when it comes to watching football games. Anyway, I was home in time to see the winning play, and then I made victory guacamole, which is a tradition I think everyone should adopt.
I’ve gathered all the tweets from this past week and put them here in one solid post. Check them out after the jump!
A familiar face has returned to the Oklahoma City news scene.
After an 8 year hiatus, Heather Holeman has returned to KFOR Channel 4. You may remember Heather because she once looked like this:
Wow. Sadly, Heather was gone when we launched our now very dated, first-ever ranking of the 20 Hottest Women in The Oklahoma City News Media. That’s a shame, because she would have made the top 5 for sure.
Here’s what Heather looks like today:
Works for me! Heather Holeman (please no jokes about her name in the comments) is our Hot Girl Friday:
There is a place where the sidewalk ends, and before the street begins, and there the grass grows soft and white, and the the sound burns crimson bright, and there the moon-bird rests from his flight to cool in the peppermint wind and watch a KFOR report complaining all about it.
Earlier this week, KFOR unleashed a hardcore investigative report into a mysterious sidewalk that appeared in south Oklahoma City, because you know, too many sidewalks in town is a bad thing.
Here’s the report from KFOR’s Sarah Stewart:
Today we are forgoing the usual FNITBT intro due to a very special fourth event. I suggest attending.
Jimmy Inhofe’s Pigeon Pallooza
Fri, Some field in Kiowa County, Donations for a Terrible Future welcome
If violating state animal cruelty laws in the name of God, America and political campaign contributions gets your heart pumping (while stopping those of animals), Jim Inhofe’s Pigeon Pallooza will be your defibrillator.
In the tradition of “old world hunting,” a time when cavemen shot pigeons thrown 3-feet in front of their faces with shotguns as they rode dinosaurs, Inhofe (R – The Senator with the Snowball) and friends will participate in the practice. The event’s skill level ranks just above shooting fish in a barrel.
You and the Senator with the snowball will chuckle and brag about “nailing that last one” as the pigeon lays slowly dying on the ground from your lack of aim. Also, don’t worry about those wackos from Showing Animals Respect and Kindness (SHARK) sneaking in this year. Sheriff vehicles paid for with your tax dollars and emblazened with “Inhofe” bumper stickers will keep the activists at bay, so your identify and lack of hunting skills stay secret.
Here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town…
(Edit: Improved grammar. I drove 10 hours to North Carolina before writing. Deal with it)
Thanks! Your message has been sent!