There is some big news from out of the 1990’s. PepsiCo, the corporation that peddles the re-bottled flat Coke product Pepsi, is hinting a return of their greatest gimmick, Crystal Pepsi. For the younger millennials who know a great column when they read one, but are not familiar with the product, here’s an introduction by the Sammy Hagar-ized Van Halen.
When the translucent carbonation debuted in 1992, the United States was besieged by Microsoft’s Windows 3.1, President George H.W. Bush puked on the Japanese Prime Minister and House of Pain released the future scourge of college football music “Jump Around.”
I was 12 years old and approximately 90 pounds of mayhem. I was young and dumb, exemplified by the fact I thought Pepsi was a quality product. However, to this day I believe Crystal Pepsi is the coolest beverage gimmick in my lifetime. It didn’t taste half-bad, though its texture was odd. It was kind of syrupy.
Crystal Pepsi was 90’s to the bone. If you were to throw slap bracelets, “I’m Too Sexy” and the dial-up internet sound into a blender, the result would be Crystal Pepsi. I look forward to revisiting this beverage and I invite all of you to try Crystal Pepsi, the choice of the last generation.
Here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town…
It’s no secret that News 9’s Steve Shaw is the most badass, bitchin’ news reporter in Oklahoma City. There’s just something about the guy you have to like and admire. He always tells it like it is, and doesn’t let anything – from floods to meat sweats to a sale at Tommy Bahama– get in the way of a hard-hitting news story.
Knowing that, it’s kind of surprising to know that Steve is single and looking for ladies on Tinder. Recently, an Ogle Mole sent us some screenshots from his profile. She would not tell us if she swiped left or right.
Here are some pics:
I finally have an idea our state lawmakers can get behind! Let’s make it illegal for someone in Oklahoma to have a child if …
A) They have an eye falling into their nose…
B) Their face looks like a rubber mask partially torn off by the Scooby Doo gang after solving a crime…
I bring this up because the mother of 12 pictured above, Kodi Faircloth, was arrested this week on charges of being an awful, terrible human.
Via The Tulsa World:
I live on the southeast side of Norman, so I keep a running list of all potential drug fronts. In fact, I’m pretty sure 80% of the businesses over here that aren’t fast food places or Chelino’s are just cover operations for illegal activity. You don’t have to take my word for it, though. Just check out the cars in the parking lot of the laundromat on Lindsey and SE 24th around midnight. I think that’s your answer right there.
Anyway, I’m not here to talk about potential Norman drug fronts. I’m here to talk about a place I’m pretty sure was an Edmond drug front. That place? Delta Cafe. Your great grandmother’s favorite restaurant.
According to Richard Mize with NewsOK.com:
We’ve learned through the Ogle Mole Network that Ed Doney, the lone anchor of KFOR’s melancholy “Sunday Night’s with Ed” 10:00pm newscast, was apparently fired from KFOR Channel for bad penmanship. He’s now waiting tables at the Bricktown Brewery at Remington Park.
Okay, that’s a joke. We have no clue when he left, why he left, where he now works or why he signs and addresses autographs with his left hand. If you have any tips, let us know.
In addition to that, we’ve heard KFOR reporter Jesse Wells, the older brother of Todd from Breaking Bad, will be leaving the station soon. We don’t know where or what he’s doing either, but it will probably involve grabbing the items off the top shelf of a cabinet for short people.
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