Well, I guess we should cancel that road trip to Beckham County.
Back in June, we shared some of the culturally insensitive, borderline racist Facebook posts by Beckham County Sheriff and Essential Oil salesman Scott Jay (pictured above). Most of them were stupid memes you’d see posted on your crazy uncle’s Facebook page, only this time around they were shared by a public servant who’s supposed to uphold the law for people of all races, backgrounds and sexual orientations. You can view them here.
Apparently Sheriff Jay has recently heard about our critique of his Facebook skills and was not too pleased. He took a break from managing the rundown apartment complex he owns to hop on Facebook and voice his displeasure with us in a factual, comical way.
Check it out:
I’ve written about Edmond many a time here. Mostly, people agree with me. Sometimes, people lose their damn minds in the comments section. But today I’m writing about Edmond again because I think it’s a very interesting sort of place for out-of-the-ordinary sorts of vocations. Why do I think this? Well, read this from NewsOK.com:
EDMOND — Steve Spinharney has seen it all during the last two decades he has been protecting other people’s bronze artwork.
He believes he’s the only person in a five-state area who maintains outdoor bronze sculptures.
Spinharney, of Tulsa, has been working here since 2013 making sure Edmond’s 162 pieces of artwork look the best they can. His $10,000 maintenance contract has allowed him to refurbish about 80 statues.
I kind of wish I would’ve known that bronze statue maintenance was a viable career option. I may have changed my major. (Just kidding. I would’ve still majored in Creative Writing. I don’t have time to care about viable career options.)
Anyway, this got me to thinking. What about other occupations that are sorely needed in Edmond? Surely a bronze statue cleaner isn’t the only weird position the city needs to fill. That’s why I came up with this list of 7 weird jobs you can only have in Edmond!
Blue Hippo Bather
I don’t know much about this hippo, except that it’s been in Edmond my whole life. My mom claims that high school kids used to steal it back in the day. (It was probably those Ogles.) The hippo has been there so long that it’s basically a landmark. Doesn’t he deserve a specialist on the payroll who has been hired to scrub him down? Sure, he probably gets rained on and hosed down every now and again, but doesn’t the mascot of Broadway deserve a full-time bather?
I’m not sure if it’s one person, or simply a collective of recent college graduates strapped in front of a computer and connected to feeding tubes in the KFOR basement, but I’ve always had a love / hate relationship with the KFOR Social Media Bandit.
I love the easy material the bandit has provided over the years, like when it wished Christians a happy Zombie Jesus Day, asked if more teens with STDs is a bad thing, and invented something called a skunk fuck eliminator. On the other hand, I can’t stand the “You won’t believes,” “What do you thinks,” and constant clickbait and faux news it uses to pander to its Facebook crowd.
Sometimes, this smörgåsbord of “Click Me! Click Me” is in your face. For example:
The fact the KFOR helped spread something so ridiculous isn’t very surprising. They are the same channel that helped a man get the word out that Jesus Christ was living inside his bedroom door.
Other times, the clickbait is very very subtle. For example, check out this headline on their website:
Whenever I give motivational speeches at Lawton area high schools, I always share three simple rules to live by. They are:
1. Don’t knock an illegal drug before trying it. Well, unless that drug is heroin, meth or crack. Then it’s okay.
2. Avoid getting your haircut at a chain / or franchise. I wish a motivational speaker would have told me this rule when I was in college and still had thick hair with pigment.
3. Learn how to count to three. Otherwise, you’ll find yourself looking like an idiot.
As the photo above shows, Oklahoma Senator James Lankford doesn’t seem to care all that much for my advice. Skeletor’s red-haired step child doesn’t know how to count to three, gets his haircut at Sports Clips, and is now leading an effort to withhold funding to Native American tribes that grow marijuana on the tribal lands.
I feel like I’ve spent a lot of my time on The Lost Ogle either preaching about how scared I am of White Water Bay, how ambivalent I am about growing up in Edmond, or about how people shouldn’t leave things in their automobiles because those things are going to get stolen. Seriously. It’s not like I want to write about these things. (Well, I have like 40 posts in my arsenal about White Water Bay, but Patrick won’t let me post my horror movie scripts here. His loss.)
But I digress. Some folks left a gun in the car, and then it was stolen out of the car. According to KFOR.com:
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