Now that I am single again (my Mexican girlfriend dumping me a few months ago for things beyond my control but no I’m not bitter), I can once again look at other women and innocently refer to them as “hot” with my TL-brOs, all without feeling those pangs of Christian monogamous guilt that would’ve otherwise stopped me in the past.
That being said, for this week’s Hot Girl Friday, I asked Patrick if I could jump in and throw some Latin flava into the mix by casting my die for gorgeous up-and-coming local actress (and recently engaged–sorry, fellas) Edna Garcia.
You might have seen her in an ultraconservative Dinesh D’souza “documentary”, or perhaps a commercial for Griffin’s pancake syrup, but attendees to this year’s DeadCenter16 will more than likely take notice of her in the comedy O, Brother! starring TLO’s Spencer Hicks as a “Mayor’s Chief of Staff who is caught on an adultery website and loses his wife and job in the public scandal.”
That’s all well and good, but, for the sake of seguewaying to the pics, let’s just say most of our eyes will be looking for Garcia. She’s our Hot Girl Friday.
In case you just happened to be crushed by slabs of heavy concrete while driving down the road to buy groceries at Buy For Less, we should probably inform you that the May Ave. bridge over Northwest Expressway collapsed yesterday when a tank being driven by Mary Fallin crashed into the structure.
Okay, Mary Fallin didn’t knock down the bridge with a tank. God did when he heard about our state’s newest anti-abortion bill. Remember that the next time you need to go to the Target on N. May to protest who uses their bathrooms.
I only live about six blocks from the bridge, and probably drive over it, under it and around it six to eight times a day. In fact, I’m pretty sure I heard it fall down. Because we live in Oklahoma, I assumed it was just a tornado, earthquake or that my neighbor’s donkey had escaped from his pen and was scratching his back on garage.
Speaking of asses, the bridge collapse woke up the local Oklahoma City media. They converged on the scene like Jim Traber does when Mazzio’s puts a fresh pepperoni on the pizza buffet. Overall, I think Channel 25 had the best coverage. According to them, we all better watch our asses:
Yeah, that’s obviously a typo. It’s supposed to be “Asses Damaged Tomorrow.” Actually, that doesn’t make sense either. I thought the bridge where the ass damage occurs was the overpass at I-44 and Penn. Now I’m confused.
Because sometimes the only thing you can do is laugh at how absurd life has become in this state, the bridge collapse got the Internet Photoshop Meme treatment. Check these pics out:
Today’s FNITBT is likely serving as an appetizer to what I expect will be Patrick’s reaction to a certain bill that now sits on the desk of Governor Mary Fallin. I imagine the silver fox wide-eyed and while pounding the buttons of keyboard in a rant unparalleled in the Oklahoma media. Oh yeah, there’s also that bridge thing. He may mention that.
State news led to some top shelf TLO posts this week. In shelf rankings I usually rate us “mid-shelf” to “under the counter,” but even underdogs have their day.
Looking back, there was Reuters’ take down of Oklahoma’s horizontal well taxation and its effect on state revenue, a guy and some kids caught a human skull while fishing and Marisa is taking some time off because she thinks Patrick is Tyler Durden. Did I say top shelf? Maybe I should reconsider.
Today’s FNITBT includes loitering, brunch and burlesque. You will never see those three words in one sentence again, but that’s an example why you come to TLO. We are the peaches and cream flavored Mad Dog 20/20 of Oklahoma media.
Here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town….
It looks like Hipster Boo Boo has recovered from her failed janitorial career!
In between her busy schedule as a private event planner, art curator, permanent makeup artist, professional traveler, band keyboardist, and “Development Associate” for the Boathouse District, Christina Fallin has found time to partner with a virtually unknown Native American tribe and a shady Orlando nightclub owner who’s been accused of “deceptive business practices” to bring online Oklahoma tribal casino poker to international airline flights.
Sounds great and totally legitimate, huh?
The Oklahoman’s Brianna Bailey has some of the details:
Justin Bieber, a Florida tech entrepreneur who once owned a nightclub with Paris Hilton, and Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin’s daughter Christina Fallin are all involved in launching what could be the world’s first in-flight gambling website from the Iowa Tribe of Oklahoma’s headquarters near Perkins.
“I see this software to being the key for securing the future for many generations,” said Chairman Bobby Walkup of the Iowa Tribe. “It is a market that is untouched.”
The Iowa Tribe, which has about 800 enrolled members, has struck a deal with the Florida company Universal Entertainment Group to retain 51 percent of the revenue from Pokertribe.com, according to a regulatory filing. The Pokertribe servers will be located on tribal land.
Fred Khalilian, a Florida tech entrepreneur is the major consultant to Pokertribe.com and Universal Entertainment Group. Khalilian’s past includes running a Paris Hilton-themed nightclub in Orlando that provided endless fodder for TMZ a decade ago.
Khalilian also operated two companies that were the subject of lawsuits from Federal Trade Commission for deceptive business practices. The Federal Trade Commission permanently banned Khalilian from telemarketing in 2010 over his role in an extended car warranty robocalling scheme.
Walkup is not fazed by Khalilian’s past.
“This software has never committed a crime, and that’s what we’ve found in our due diligence,” he said.
Yeah, who cares that the guy behind all this has been accused of deceptive business practices and banned from telemarketing due to robocalling, the software has never committed a crime… yet.
Okay, that was mean. I’ve talked with former State Senator Rick Brinkley, David Stanley, Ryan Tate, the lady behind the Real Housewives of Oklahoma City and Vince from Shamwow, and all of them think this is an awesome idea that’s going to make a ton of money! There’s no tomfoolery here! Christina Fallin won’t associate with just anyone. It’s 100% legitimate. Hell, just check out the PokerTribe.com website. Its state-of-the-art design screams classy like a trailer parked in front of a mansion.
According to some totally accurate, non-sensationalized statements, the people behind the international in-flight online tribal casino racket thinks this business venture could generate $808 million in annual revenue:
World Poker Fund Holdings Inc., a California-based social gaming company that trades its stock on the over-the counter market, estimated Tuesday that Pokertribe.com could generate as much as $808 million in annual revenue. World Poker Fund announced Tuesday that it had acquired a 49 percent stake in Universal Entertainment Group, the Florida company that is launching Pokertribe.com with the Iowa Tribe.
According to regulatory filings, major shareholders in World Poker Fund include Justin Bieber, former boxer Floyd Mayweather, and the rappers Soljaboy and Tyga.
Matthew Bird, a spokesman for World Poker Fund, said the company believes Pokertribe.com will be able to offer gambling to passengers on commercial airline flights with the help of the Iowa Tribe’s status as a federally recognized Indian tribe. The platform could reap millions in tax revenue for the state, Bird said.
“Ultimately, the people of Oklahoma are going to benefit from this,” Bird said. “It’s unprecedented. It’s never been done before.”
Wow. $808 million in annual revenue?! That may sound a bit ambitious, especially when you read this article about the future of tribal casinos and online poker, but oh well, you know what they say – if it sounds too good to be true, everything is probably fine and you should move forward with it.
Brianna mentioned that Khalilian was the subject of a couple of investigations for deceptive business practices. That all had to be a big misunderstanding, right? Obviously Christina Fallin would never work with someone who has a shady past:
Over the past couple of months, you’ve found yourself reading and watching the national fallout and negative reactions to North Carolina’s ridiculous anti-transgender bathroom laws and thought “Wow. I hope our Oklahoma lawmakers don’t hear about all this. There’s nothing they love more than embarrassing our state by passing discriminatory, generally unconstitutional laws that demonize and infringe upon the rights of an innocent minority. Although this seems right up there alley, hopefully they focus on more pressing needs like the educational funding crisis and man-made earthquakes.”
Well, I guess the word has finally leaked out. According to various news reports and some of our Moles at the State Capitol, it looks like the Derplahoman Caucus is pressing the house GOP leadership to attach some anti-trans legislation to important education funding bills, because you know, telling kids where they can and can’t use the restroom at school is just as important as actually funding that school.
Via The Tulsa World:
Thanks! Your message has been sent!