Not to get all “Is this a great state or what?” on you, but one of the best things about living in Oklahoma is that even driving to get a plate of fried chicken can be a sojourn into a another world and another culture.
For example, take the small city of Okarche. Even though I was only there for about two hours on a Saturday night, I’m willing to bet it’s a small town with a big heart, where you can raise your 2.5 kids with old-fashioned American values that won’t be deemed anti-progressive by those types.
And while I’m sure there is a dark veil that uncovers itself once night descends, a meth-based criminal underworld that is the town’s best kept secret, it still feels like a place where you can sleep without locking your front door and then get a socially responsible haircut in a barber shop filled with men and only men. Where, within one city block, you can get tires for your tractor, cheer on the local high school football team and stop by a national treasure for some of the best damned fried chicken you will ever eat in your life.
For an all-American town, what better way to represent themselves, culinary-wise, then with the most all-American meal possible? And few people do it better than the proud Americans at Eischen’s Bar, 109 N 2nd St.
As if you needed another reason to avoid using a port-a-pottie.
Ronald Cordell, which is apparently the pseudonym Louis C.K. uses when he goes undercover to find the hot Oklahoma City women he had a one night stand with in 1989, was recently arrested for beating a fellow homeless man in the cranium with an aluminum baseball bat.
Apparently, he was defending his Porta-Potty in a KFC parking lot at 122nd and Penn.
From KOKH Channel 25:
Picture this: It’s a hot summer day and you’re stopping to get some gas at a local 7-Eleven. While you’re filling the tank, you think maybe you should fill your tank too. So, you pop inside and get yourself a large Dr. Pepper icy because those are the absolute best. You grimace at the price and think to yourself that all icy beverages should be on sale throughout the entire summer. What kind of terrible corporation makes you pay full price during the hottest time of the year? But you’ll pay for it anyway, because it’s the most refreshing of options. You stroll through the chip aisle and grab some Sour Cream and Onion Lays because you ain’t planning on kissing anyone later. Then, you spot the 7th Heaven bakeries single-packaged cupcakes. You grab the red velvet because it’s the middle of July and you ain’t gonna get that bikini body any time soon.
You take your purchases up to the counter, where the cashier offers you a receipt that you will leave on the countertop. You don’t need it. You don’t want evidence of your dietary transgressions haunting you later. So you walk out the door only to find that the canopy over the gas pumps has fallen on your car.
Sound familiar? Then you must frequent the 7-Eleven around Wilshire and May. According to KFOR.com:
It’s been a rough week for country music fans in Oklahoma.
First “Bliranda” announced they filed divorced, and now Stoney LaRue has been arrested on a domestic violence complaint. At this rate, I fully expect Toby Keith to announced he’s transgender and changing his name to Wynonna.
Actually, there’s nothing wrong with the last one. It would be awesome. We’d totally support Ms. Keith.
Anyway, here’s the red dirt on the Stoney LaRue thing via NewsOK.com. I guess you can say he had an Oklahoma breakdown…
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