The Lost Ogle


Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

9 reasons I hold a grudge against Edmond

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Ah, Edmond. It’s a nice, quiet city, the sort of place you want to raise your kids. Unless you were raised there, that is. If you grew up there, you know the ambivalence I’m talking about. Edmond may be home, but you sure as hell don’t tell anyone that when you grow up and go to college. I always thought I wanted to leave Oklahoma, but when I moved out of Edmond, I didn’t feel the urge to do so anymore.

Edmond is the Plano to Oklahoma City’s Dallas–suburban sprawl and mini malls to cater to the most discerning of upper middle class taste. My feelings about Edmond are why I started writing for TLO. And today, I’m going to share with you 9 reasons why I hold a grudge against Edmond.

 

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UCO knocked down my great-grandparents’ house

So, little known Marisa fun fact: my family was from Edmond before Edmond was Edmond, by which I mean before white flight made Edmond the Edmond it is today. My great grandparents owned a house on property that was bought out by Central State University, later UCO. Now, I know that they bought the land from my great-grandparents, and then demolished the house. But as a little kid, I always imagined my pappy and my granny (yeah, that’s what we called them) fleeing for their lives as a wrecking ball swung toward them. To this day, I still cast a wary eye at UCO, lest they come for me.

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$100 senior prom

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The Horse Pigs finally did something cool…

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The University of Oklahoma men’s basketball program has made quite a few mistakes over the last 15 years.

In the early 2000s, they renovated the Lloyd-Noble Center, which made as much sense as remodeling a Sears Catalog Home. Basically, they took an ancient, dated relic from the 1970s and turned it into a more modern ancient, dated relic from the 1970s.

Then in the mid-2000s, someone decided to tell Kelvin Sampson that he had a bunch of rollover minutes available through Cingular Wireless. That didn’t work out too well, and when Kelvin Sampson bolted for Indiana in 2006 to try an unlimited minutes plan through T-Mobile, they replaced him with a Duke assistant named Jeff Capel, a man who single-handedly tried to destroy the basketball program by recruiting players who couldn’t read, write or play basketball.

Out of all the mistakes the Sooner brass has made with the basketball program, though, the worst was tossing aside the beloved hoops mascot, Top Daug, for the monstrosity known as the Horse Pigs (Boomer and Sooner) in 2004.

Top Daug made his debut during the run and gun days of the Billy Tubbs era. Billy didn’t want to the team to be known as under dogs, so he came up with the idea for a Top Daug mascot. Cheesy? Yes… but Top Daug was awesome. He had a bold, obnoxious personality, could spin his head around in circles, and whenever you had to suffer through a patented “OU Field Goal Drought” during the “heart, hustle, hardwood” days of the Kelvin Sampson era, he’d serve as reminder for how fun things used to be.

Anyway, I bring this up because one of the Horse Pigs actually did something cool during an OU basketball game and got in trouble for it.

Via KFOR:

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This cool teacher from Miami (OK) apparently taught kids how to roll a joint…

I think we’d all agree that one of the biggest problems with our education system is that we really don’t teach students enough real world life skills. For example, instead of instructing high school kids how to juggle credit card debt by taking advantage of balance transfers, we throw them in an algebra class where they have to add and multiply letters. It’s pointless. Not only are half the answers in the back of the book, but who multiplies letters in real life?

Fortunately, we’re not the only ones who think that way. One enterprising teacher from the Miami (OK) School District got fed up with today’s irrelevant core curriculum and decided to do something about it. He taught his class how to roll a joint.

Well, at least we think he did.

A week or so ago, the Twitter account Party Stories tweeted an image of what appears to be a teacher from Miami High School rolling a fake joint filled with oregano in a classroom. It’s been re-tweeted and favorited nearly 3,400 times. The accompanying “party story,” that’s the fancy teen phrase for “caption,” is “My teacher taught us how to roll joints in class – Miami, Oklahoma.”

Check it out:

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Berry Tramel was censored after he finally responded to Russell Westbrook…

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The “State’s Most Trusted News” is back at it.

In case you missed it, Russell Westbrook gave one of the best regular season performances of his NBA career on Friday night during a blowout win over the short-handed, but still formidable, Golden State Warriors at Chesapeake arena.

He celebrated the performance by doing what thousands of Oklahoma City residents have wanted to do at least once or twice over the years. He told Berry Tramel that he didn’t like him.

Like most people, I kind of had a rocky start with Westbrook. I couldn’t come to terms with his Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde playing style. On one trip down the court, he could take your breath away like Alexandra Daddario in True Detective and slam an electrifying dunk over a stumbling, overmatched defender. On the next possession, he could take your breath away via a punch to the gut by heaving a 23-foot pull up jump shot with 20-seconds left on the shot clock, leaving you red-faced and furious like you just watched the True Detective finale.

Over the past couple of years, though, Westbrook has grown on me. In fact, I can now say he’s officially surpassed Kevin Durant as my favorite player on the team. After several sessions of intense therapy, I’m now able to take the good with the bad, and marvel at Westbrook’s full-throttle, Hell’s Bells playing style. That attitude and confidence carries over to his off-court personality, which I equally admire. It’s so refreshing to hear a player on the Thunder speak his mind and do what he wants to do, rather than give the same canned response like:

“It was a good win. The coaches put together a great gameplan and I just trusted my teammates. We played hard and together on defense and gave great effort. When you trust your teammates, they make you better, and that leads to important victories over a great team like the Warriors. Did you get that for my HBO series? Who’s ready for some Fro-yo!”

Sorry, I got sidetracked. Let’s get back to the whole point of this blog posting.

After going silent as Russ’s post-game shenanigans hit the heavy-rotation on Sports Center and went viral on YouTube, Berry “Boomer” Tramel finally responded with a column today on NewsOK.com. It was preachy, heavy-handed, self-righteous, ignored certain truths, and came across as a little bit folksy.

It’s was also removed from NewsOK.com only a few minutes after being published.

Wait? What? They pulled a Berry Tramel column. BULLFEATHERS! Did NewsOK.com think it was Richard Hall clickbait (more on that later) or Jenni Carlson. Nope, according to NewsOK.com, they were having problems with “the link.”

That’s a new one. Yes, despite every other article on the site working fine, they’re having some “link problems.” Let me just say that as a guy who has published thousands of blog posts and doesn’t have any IT guys or web developers on staff, that we’ve never had that issue. If you buy that excuse, I got a premium Oklahoman subscription I’d like to sell to you for only $50 a month.

Obviously, the very logical conspiracy theory here is that Clay Bennett had his minions with The Thunder Ministry of Propaganda contact OPUBCO management to pull the article for some quick “editing.” That would make sense. Of course, what do I know? I thought Woody Harrelson’s father-in-law was behind all the murders in True Detective. I’m not good at conspiracy theories.

Anyway, after a few hours, NewsOK.com got their “link issues” worked out and put Boomer Tramel’s article back on the site, and oddly enough, it lacked very interesting and key sentence from Berry’s article.

As it’s edited now, this is how the columns ends. Mind you, this is after about 1,000 word of exposition and whining by Tramel:

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TLO Restaurant Review: Red Dog Café

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When you’re 21, a debaucherous night with the fellas at a strip club is the ultimate party-time go-to, roughly the Axe body-spray equivalent of a trip to Enterprise Square but with far more well-timed speedballs and just enough pernicious attempts at mischief in a dank, dark corner to make the night truly memorable.

But when you’re disastrously pushing 40, however, reality hits you in the face and it can easily be the saddest experience of your life.

This past week I managed to get down to where even the horniest angels often fear to tread, the Red Dog Café at 6417 NW 10th St., in the heart of the Used Seadoo District, to sample their legendary cuisine.

Widely regarded as alternately the best (if you’re a sleazebag) or worst (if you’re trying to convince yourself you’re not a sleazebag) gentleman’s club in town, the Red Dog has been many a young man’s entrance into both manhood and HPV-awareness for well over 40 years—this visit was the first time I had been there in nearly 20 of them.

As a matter of fact, here’s an honest-to-God picture of the last time I went to the Red Dog, about 20 years ago. I’m not eager to relive those days. At all…

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