Gawker recently published a U.S. map that shows the states where sodomy is banned and necrophilia is totally legal.
As is typically the case with internet maps that highlight poor, dumb, unhealthy, archaic, backwards thinking parts of the country, Oklahoma was the wrong color.
Wait a second. Does that mean blowjobs and other things are illegal in Oklahoma? If so, are all the girls from Piedmont and Mustang going to jail???
Well, not exactly. Via Gawker:
Oklahoma Fashion Week is the gift that keeps on giving.
Yesterday, an Ogle Mole alerted me to this amazing video of Vanity Perkins interviewing Mary Fallin for a few minutes at the Oklahoma Fashion Week media day. Vanity is apparently now a special correspondent for “Oklahoma Live” on KSBI Channel 52. I would have posted the video sooner, but sometimes I forget KSBI Channel 52 exists.
If you do anything productive today, make sure it’s watching this video a few 100 times and then sharing it with all your friends. It kind of reminds me of an SNL spoof, only a lot more funny and terrifyingly real. In fact, Vanity is the best celebrity interviewer I’ve seen since Harry Caray on Space: The Infinite Frontier.
Here’s the clip:
See you later, Santos.
We have learned through the Ogle Mole Network that Seira Santos is leaving News 9. In case you forgot, Siera was Dean’s handler, has a fun website, and once sent a selfie where she pretended to eat pizza during a beauty pageant:
Siera seemed like a really cool girl, and even though I don’t recall ever seeing her on TV, I’m sure she did a great job. If anything, she probably kept Dean on his strict Smart Ones diet. We wish her the best.
Anyway, before you pull a Carson Cunningham and have a panic attack, I have some good news. Look who’s coming back:
Last night, OU defeated OSU 12-9 in an 18-inning battle at Allie P. Reynolds stadium in Stillwater. It was the longest game ever in the Bedlam series. Our condolences go out to everyone who was in attendance at game. Going through a 9-inning college baseball game is bad enough. 18-innings? That’s just torture.
When the game approached the 14th inning, News 9′s Dean Blevins put down what I assume to be a very large bong and Playboy magazine to share his thoughts about the contest:
— Dean Blevins (@DeanBlevins) April 16, 2014
Just like a poem, song lyric or Scott Brooks coaching decision, Dean Blevins tweets can be incredibly difficult to understand and interpret. In the tweet above, I think he was trying to say the Big 12 should have called the game, declared it a tie, and in the process, given Regular Jim Traber a fatal brain aneurysm. Maybe Dean has it out for Regular Jim?
Then again, perhaps Dean was trying to say that he “should call it a night.” If so, he should have followed his own advice. It would have prevented this from happening 8-minutes later:
Growing up, my feelings toward dogs were pretty neutral. I mean sure they were cute and all, but my mom had an army of chihuahuas who didn’t do anything but shake in fear, shed like crazy, and hide in piles of laundry whenever we had company over. Seemed kinda pointless. Plus, I went away to college and came home allergic to dogs, so getting one didn’t sound like a good option.
Of course, my whole mindset took a 180 degree turn when my boyfriend brought home a Cavapoopoo puppy named Scout. Within like, a week, I switched from the person who never stopped to scratch an animal’s head to one of those freaks who shows pictures of their pup to strangers. Every dang thing that mutt does cracks me up, from the way he stares at me while I sleep to the way he destroys my expensive shoes. Sure, I now have to use my rescue inhaler and take Claritin on a daily basis, but the puffy eyes and occasional hives are totally worth it. I’ve drank the Kool-Aid you guys, I’m officially a dog person. And like all other dog people I know, I want to bring my Scout out and about with me every single opportunity I get.
So I’m sure all you fellow dog enthusiasts share my agony at the announcement that dogs are no longer welcome to romp the Cherry Street Farmer’s Market. Wait, WHAT?!! Farmer’s Markets and like, the one sacred outing that dogs are ALWAYS welcome at! The horror, the horror!!
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