Here’s some good news if you sit in Section 101 at Thunder games. The two Thunder fans pictured above (Thundor and Thunder Princess) can’t afford their pricey season tickets for the 2014 – 2015 season. Awesome, huh? Now only those damn McDonald’s french fry balloons will distract you from the game.
Or maybe not.
Thundor and Thunder Princess created a Go Fund Me to raise money for their season ticket renewal. Of course, this “news” got the attention of KWTV News 9. If you remember correctly, they’ll cover any story that can be tied back to the Thunder:
The sight of a black and white cruiser following closely behind you is always a white-knuckle experience for anyone. But, for most minorities in Oklahoma, it’s become more of a pulse-pounding exercise in ritualistically covering your bases, all the while trying not to appear suspicious by darting your eyes to the rearview mirror too many times as the pre-ordained mental checklist starts: is my insurance up to date? Is my tag current? Do I have my permit for this handgun? Am I sure I left my pitbulls at home?
Even if the answer to all of these questions is yes, if the driver of said cop car is white, chances are you’re still screwed. Almost every Friday night, driving home from hosting TLO Trivia at Buffalo Wild Wings, I get followed by a local law enforcement officer, momentarily losing him by pulling into a random 7-11 where, if shit goes down, at least I know there will be witnesses.
Not that that really matters anymore. Recently, in the tragic case of Luis Rodriguez’ death at the hands of Moore Police outside of the Warren Theater, cops have been confiscating cell phone video in an attempt to silence not only witnesses, but any valiant attempts at citizen journalism before the PD has a chance to put their own spin on the film. It’s your word against theirs. Good luck, ese.
Welcome to the Police State of Oklahoma. Even though both of my parents were decent-enough cops in Texas, no other state has given me a broader distrust of them than living in Oklahoma and experiencing first-hand the pent-up urban-warrior ticking time-bomb racism that many—not all—but many OK cops have welling inside them. It’s like living inside that terrible Paul Haggis movie Crash 24/7 and, now with this story—an overweight Hispanic dying of a heart attack after being taken down by cops—well…as an overweight Hispanic with major heart attack issues, it hits way too close to home for me. Way too close.
Look, minorities: when it comes to police brutality, you’re on your own. That’s why, in my own personal attempt to avoid being murdered, I’ve come up with five simple tips that might, at the very least, help you escape the clutches of the po-po and live a long, fruitful life or, at the very least, until diabetes kills you, the way God intended.
Here they are:
Tip #1: Don’t Be a Minority.
This is obviously a no-brainer, but, sadly, far too many minorities ignore this to their own detriment. In the front seat of my LeBaron, I always have a professional Hollywood make-up kit that I keep on hand in case my certain swarthier Latino features need a bit of “lightening up.”
The darker the skin tone, however, might need more time for prep, so take an extra 30 minutes to an hour before driving anyplace to make-sure that a full white-face coating is applied naturally and realistically. If it helps, keep a famous movie special effects make-up artist like Rick Baker or Tom Savini on retainer. It might cost you a pretty penny, but it sure is better than picking your brains up off the asphalt on S. Robinson at 3:30 in the morning.
Today we’re going to introduce a new feature called The Mount Rushmores of Oklahoma City. Every month or so or whenever Patrick can convince me to get out of bed and write something, we’ll name some new Mount Rushmores of Oklahoma City. By this I mean we’ll put together a list of every Oklahoman who has had their face carved into a mountain over the past month. No. That’s not right. What we’ll do put together a list of the four Oklahoma Citians who best represent a certain category.
So if it was the Mount Rushmore of country music singers, we’d list Garth Brooks, Roger Miller, Reba McEntire and Vince Gill. If it was the Mount Rushmore of weathermen, we’d list Gary England four times, and if it was the Mount Rushmore of sports talk hosts we wouldn’t be able to think of any deserving. See? Fun! Maybe.
Today we tackle OKC Commercial Pitchmen/women, Oklahoma Viral Video Stars, and Celebrities Arrested in Oklahoma City. Read after the jump!
I don’t have any children, but when I do I hope that they don’t get caught up in this whole “Save the Arts” movement that’s hit Oklahoma.
By now, your social media feeds have been spammed with information about certain bills (HB3028, HB2580, & SB1859) that are making the rounds at the Oklahoma legislature. Each bill, in a roundabout way, would greatly devalue the Oklahoma Arts Council. One would merge it with the Department of Tourism, another would continue the stagnant “Art In Public Places Act” (that has literally done nothing since 2011), and the third would simply defund the Arts Council.
Of course, this has really upset the local art crowd, millennials, and basically anyone who voted for Ed Shadid. They are rallying to save the arts in Oklahoma, and want to guilt you into it, too. But don’t fall for it. I very much welcome an Oklahoma future without any sort of “arts” interfering in our business, and have compiled a list of seven reasons why you should too…
We will forever be the state that set Hinder loose upon the world, but we don’t have to repeat our mistakes. In a world without arts and music education, we can prevent shitty bands (or any bands, for that matter) from ever being created in Oklahoma again.
2. The people who would use the arts money could still use it through other various means.
Hypothetical situation: Johnny is an incredible spray-paint artist.
In a universe where the Art In Public Places Act is still being utilized, Johnny could be contracted to paint a beautiful mural downtown that was sanctioned by the great state of Oklahoma.
In the universe that I am proposing, Johnny goes to jail for graffiti.
Either way, government money is still supporting him. It shouldn’t matter how the money got there. Stop being so greedy, Johnny.
Sports editors must like one sentence paragraphs and bad sports columns.
Yesterday, the Associated Press Sports Editors announced their 2013 award winners.
The Oklahoman’s Jenni Carlson won the “Columns” category
And no, we’re not referring to the 1990s Sega video game that combined the joys of Tetris with the sadness of Dr. Mario.
They actually recognized Jenni for her sports columns.
Yes, her columns.
The same ones you click on at NewsOK.com after seeing an interesting headline, notice it’s a Jenni Carlson column, and then promptly hit the back button.
Once again, we call that being “Carlsoned.”
Here are the details of her award:
That sound you just heard was Mike Gundy puking.
Suck it, Beat Baldwin.
I know what you’re thinking: “How could Jenni Carlson win an excellence in sports writing award?!?”
Well, I think we have your answer:
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