The Lost Ogle

Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Crazed Machete Man is on the loose in OKC!!!

It looks like Halloween has been extended for a few more days in Oklahoma City. There’s a scary man on the loose around town and he’s armed with a machete.


Machete-wielding man wanted in violent attack

A man armed with a machete is on the loose after attacking a neighbor Wednesday morning near N.W. 50th St. and N. Portland Ave.

Police said a 31-year-old man accused of stalking his ex-girlfriend vandalized a car outside her house on the 3800 block of N.W. 51st St.

Neighbors said the man then drove his car into a house across the street.

That’s when neighbor Randall Love intervened and was confronted with a machete.

Covering his wound, Love described the moment his neighbor’s ex-boyfriend attacked him with the weapon.

“He came down instantly with a double-handed machete sweep,” he said.

The female victim didn’t want to go on camera but her brother, Mark Stout said this isn’t the first violent situation with the man.

“I’m a little scared of the guy,” he said. “I just hope the police will do their job and put him away.”

Stout identified the suspect as Michael Rogers (also known as Jasper Zan), however police do not have a warrant out for his arrest and he has not been charged with any crime at this time.

Eh, no big deal right?Well, this story is waaaaaaaaay more disturbing than a “typical” machete attack. See the picture up there? That’s not some lonely emo kid dressed up as a mass murdering Marilyn Manson fan for Halloween. That’s the guy. He posted that pic on his Facebook Page and is wearing the same damn mask he wore when he drove by his ex-girlfriend’s house at 2:00am while armed with a machete!

But the story gets worse. Check out the YouTube video Machete Man — his name is Jasper Zan — posted while hiding in the woods after the attack. The clip was “removed by user” a couple of hours later, but KFOR snagged a copy before it was deleted. Here it is:

Read More

Update: Fake Barry Switzer wrote a letter to the Norman Transcript

Yesterday, the Norman Transcript published a “Letter to the Editor” by Barry and Becky Switzer. The letter enthusiastically supported SQ 766, which would stop intangible property taxes (whatever that is). Here it is:

I write to express my support for State Question 766 and to urge your readers to vote yes on SQ 766 this November.

SQ 766 is a statewide ballot question that would correct a 2009 decision by the Oklahoma Supreme Court that opened the door to all kinds of new taxes on Oklahoma citizens and small businesses. Put simply, it means that local governments can tax things that are intangible — literally, things that they cannot touch or cannot see. This includes things like your pension, a lease to hunt on someone else’s land, and your insurance policies.

It also means small businesses could be taxed on things like intellectual property or patents — the type of innovations that we need to keep Oklahoma moving forward. Those jobs and job creators won’t come to Oklahoma, they’ll go to where the environment is more favorable.

In my time at OU, it was never OK to lose a football game to Texas. But now we are talking about jobs, and without passage of SQ 766, businesses looking to expand or move to Oklahoma will take those jobs across the border. That’s unacceptable.

So, I ask your readers to join me in voting yes on SQ 766.

Barry and Becky Switzer

Yeah, I’m not so sure Barry and Becky Switzer actually wrote that.

For one, Barry is a big time supporter of Democrats, and SQ 766 is Chamber of Commerce backed legislation. It will (possibly) lower taxes for businesses and utilities, and (possibly) hurt education funding for rural school districts. It doesn’t seem like something Barry Switzer would endorse, much less enthusiastically support by sending a poorly written campaign chain letter to the Norman Transcript.

Plus, Becky Switzer denies that she or her husband wrote the thing. From her Facebook Wall:

Read More

Shocking News! Oklahoma is not a welcoming place for diversity

If I had to rank all 50 states based on how much they value diversity, Oklahoma would probably be near the bottom of the list. The only thing that would keep us from being last would be that we do seem to value our Native American culture and history. Seriously, find me an Oklahoma kid who isn’t a fan of Sequoyah. But outside of that, things are pretty bad. It seems like the only type of diversity that is welcomed in our state is Chesapeake Energy’s complicated accounting practices.

In Monday’s Oklahoman, business writer Don Mecoy examined the issue when he wrote about a recent diversity survey. The results were shocking:

Ongoing online survey finds many Oklahoma believe state doesn’t welcome diversity

A more open-minded Oklahoma would produce a more prosperous state, according an unscientific survey of more than 600 state residents.

The online survey, which is not a scientific poll, shows that the state has some perception problems when it comes to dealing with people of different races, cultures and lifestyles.

Wait a second. This is just some random online survey? Doesn’t that mean it can be inaccurate and misleading? If that’s the case, why waste 800 words writing about it? Oh, here’s why:

The OUR Oklahoma Survey is the brainchild of Risha Grant, head of a Tulsa PR firm, who wants to present the survey’s results to policymakers and business leaders to develop a plan to address diversity after the survey closes at year’s end…

More than 600 people have responded to the survey, with most being white (66 percent), women (64 percent) and college-educated (98 percent).

Imagine that, a shaky news story pitched by a narcissistic PR hack looking for some self-promotion made its way into the Oklahoman. You got to love it. Maybe I should issue a press release about the results of The Worst of OKC and or Ogle Madness? Also, how did a random survey that no one’s heard of make get 600 respondents. Knowing what I know about the Internet, that’s a lot. Are they giving away iPads or TVs or something? Oh, they are! That explains it. I wonder why the Oklahoman didn’t mention it?

Putting the Oklahoman’s new “Seriously guys, we’ll write a story about almost anything” journalistic standards aside, the results of the poll are not surprising. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist or the guy who brings you chips and salsa at Chelino’s to see that our state doesn’t welcome diversity. And you don’t need an Internet survey answered by college educated women and minorities looking for a free iPad to tell you that. Just look at recent history. Our state’s voters and lawmakers have gone out of their way to let minorities,  women and other know that they are not welcomed in the Sooner state.

Here are six examples:

Read More

Unofficial Tiger Beat Thunder 2012-2013 season preview

If you’re a dude, back away from the screen. Good, now that I’ve alienated roughly 80% of our readership (Editor’s note: 56%), I would like to talk about something really important, and that is who we ladies will have crushes on during this Thunder basketball season. Now that Derek Fisher and his luscious buttocks are gone, there is a pretty big hole in my heart. But we have to move on. We have to tweet absurd things during the games regarding how cute our team is. HOW ELSE WILL NICK COLLISON KNOW THAT OKLAHOMA IS A STATE FULL OF LADY CREEPERS?!

It’s time to stop writing mean things about James Harden in your Burn Books and start getting serious about our new lineup. So get out your note pads and get ready to play MASH, ladies, because here comes your unofficial Tiger Beat Thunder 2012-2013 Season Preview!

Kevin Durant

Who doesn’t love a boy who loves his mama? Not only is Kevin Durant good at basketball, he’s good at hugging his mama on live TV. I probably couldn’t say a mean thing about this guy if I tried. If you were playing a game of bang, marry, kill, this dude would definitely be the choice for marriage. Also, he lives in Gaillardia. You want a McMansion, don’t you?

Read More

Maybe it’s time to introduce merit-based pay for our legislators

Yesterday, I ran across this editorial from the Sunday Oklahoman. It supports a bill filed by State Rep. Leslie Osborn, R-Mustang. She wants to institute merit-based pay raises for state employees, and the Oklahoman loves her for it.

DETERMINING the appropriate level for state employee pay is a constant challenge for Oklahoma lawmakers. Set wages too high, you end up with an overpaid government labor force that’s a financial burden on the citizens whose taxes fund state government. Set wages too low, and agencies are limited to job applicants who can’t cut it in the private sector. Given the importance of some government jobs, that’s an unappealing prospect.

State Rep. Leslie Osborn, R-Mustang, plans to author legislation providing for merit-based pay increases. Tying state workers’ pay to performance makes sense, and it also incentivizes improvement, something that doesn’t happen when across-the-board raises are provided.

Osborn is no tax-and-spend liberal. Last year, she sought to cut the Oklahoma income tax from 5.25 percent to 2.25 percent. But she also understands the importance of wages in attracting quality employees.

Officials say state government workers are paid nearly 20 percent less than private-sector counterparts. But government workers’ benefits often exceed those of the private sector, which skews such comparisons.

At the federal level, a recent analysis by the Federal Salary Council found government workers earned an average 34 percent less than private-sector counterparts. However, a study by the Congressional Budget Office found federal employees earned about 2 percent more in wages than those in the private sector. And a June 2011 report by the American Enterprise Institute determined government workers were earning 14 percent more than private-sector employees in similar jobs.

First of all, let me tell you that state employees are making out like bandits with all these lavish pay increases. I spent over five years of my life as a state employee. With a bachelor’s and master’s degree, I earned a little under $40,000 a year. I got several raises in the range of 0%. Did you read that? 0%. That’s why I was able to retire to the private sector.

If you can’t tell, I was being a bit sarcastic there. I wish our legislature would just leave our state employees alone. Most state employee work hard for less pay than they would earn in the private sector. In return, they get things like decent health insurance and retirement benefits. That is, of course, until our legislature tries to take all that away.

If the legislature really wants to address merit based pay, they should look in the mirror. Our State Senators and Representatives work three months out of the year and make a starting salary of $40,000 a year. They get bonuses for leadership positions, reimbursed for traveling and even get to file shady workmans comp claims. And by the way, when they’re “working” during those three months, they leave at noon on Thursdays and take Fridays off. You know, just like in the private sector.

That’s why I propose a new merit-based pay for legislators. In the spirit of the Boy Scouts I will use merit badges they can pin to their lapels, underneath their American flag:

1) Constitutionality Merit Badge

If a member of the House or Senate authors a bill that is deemed by the Supreme Court to be unconstitutional, the author and co-authors will have their taxpayer funded salary put into the general treasury for wasting our money on legislation that was moot. They can use the remaining 9 months of the year studying the constitution and try again next year.

Read More