The Lost Ogle


Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

10 Possible Replacements for National Bosses Day

In case you missed it, last Tuesday was National Bosses Day. If you forgot about it, don’t feel too bad. It slipped the mind of our state’s largest newspaper, too. From a story about Bosses Day (and bad bosses) that was published in yesterday’s Oklahoman:

Few mark National Boss’ Day in Oklahoma, nation

Oklahoma natives Gayle Roberts and Glenda Crider aren’t surprised with the findings of an online survey that found’ nearly 70 percent of workers say they’d be happier at work if they got along better with their bosses.

When she arrived at work Tuesday morning, Alison Hafar, president of Spaces Inc. commercial design firm in Edmond, and her partner were treated to a homemade breakfast of biscuits and sausage gravy prepared by their staff, who sang “Happy Boss’ Day” to the tune of “Happy Birthday.”

Meanwhile, in Oklahoma City, jeweler Valerie Naifeh’s employees presented her with flowers, while Nona Merriman and co-workers honored their bosses at Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals with bagels and doughnuts.

Sarah Sears, principal of S Design Inc., was surprised with a bottle of one of her favorite wines, while communications expert Kim Koch Thompson was lauded with kudos on Facebook, along with a huge mum and chocolate-covered strawberries.

The praised bosses were among the minority Tuesday, according to survey results released Monday by psychologist and author Michelle McQuaid…

Yeah, you read that right. There are three bosses in Oklahoma that actually received flowers and gifts and stuff. Perhaps I would have celebrated National Bosses Day if my boss had bought me a desk calendar that noted the holiday. Instead he gave me a calendar with inspirational quotes from kittens.

Anyway, since nobody celebrates National Bosses Day, why don’t we replace it with something else. Here are some suggestions:

1) Pizza and Ranch Day

I used to think salad was just a vehicle to get Ranch dressing into my body, until I discovered that pizza does a more fattening job! I haven’t had a salad in years, thanks to this little trick. And just like those bumper stickers say: The West was won on heart disease.

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2) War Against Christmas Week

This holiday already exists. In fact, it was started by liberals and Jews as a smokescreen so Fox News wouldn’t know what they were really up to. It’s a pretty fun holiday, all you have to do is say that you think it’s tacky when corporations put up Christmas lights in October, be not Christian, or say “Happy Holidays” when someone wishes you a “Merry Christmas.”

IMPORTANT: In Oklahoma, homosexuals are still not allowed to join the War on Christmas Army.

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Tulsa’s Most Wanted: Nick Collison and a Coat Bandit

Loyal TLO readers: Last Friday morning, it finally happened. After years of (not so quietly) professing my love via various media outlets, I finally came face to face with the greatest unrequited love of my life, THE Nick Collison.

It happened on an elevator. I tossed out a casual “hey.” He returned with an amused “hey.” In attempt to keep the conversation going, I asked him how he liked playing at the Spirit Center. Okay, not one of my better pick-up lines. Obviously if I had time to prepare, I would have asked him what his favorite book is, or found out the greatest concert he’s ever been to, or asked if he’d ever read the Kama Sutra. But, the fact is I was caught off-guard and was wearing scrubby yoga pants and black framed faux-hipster glasses (note: I wear faux-hipster prescription glasses, not hipster faux-prescription glasses–as if one were better than the other). After countless tweets and hours spent Photoshopping Nick into pictures with me, all I got in return was a paltry “it was ‘aight.” Nick Collison then stepped off the elevator and disappeared into the third floor of the historic Mayo Hotel. Rejection is a dish served…unaccompanied.

Outside of meeting that Australian cowboy, this is definitely one of the most exciting things that’s happened to me all year. Sad, huh? I was going to come up with a clever metaphor to liken my predictable life to the dull and mundane week I’m assuming that the Tulsa Police had, but as you can tell, literary devices were never really my forte.

Anyway, the guy pictured above is Tulsa’s Most Wanted criminal of the week. He’s in the hot seat for stealing a couple of coats from Macy’s. Yep, I told you TPD has a slow week.

From News on 6:

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Breaking News: Wild, viscious, untamed bobcats are attacking idiots

Last week, KFOR Channel 4 alerted us to the growing presence of dangerous killer bobcats in the Oklahoma City Metro. Unsatisfied with their diet of small birds, rodents and the occasional yorkie, these wild feline creatures have invaded the metro in hopes of landing a big kill (i.e. Cub Scout Pack, Edmond Family, Vulnerable White Sorority Girl Who Goes Jogging at Night) or finding a mate.

Now, only a few days after KFOR’s initial report, we’ve had our first confirmed case of a bobcat attack. It occurred at a Homeland store in Edmond, and if you’re the world’s biggest dumbass, it could totally happen to you.

Via KFOR:

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If only Mary Fallin had an Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat, this pic would be perfect…

Every now and then, the thought crosses my mind to have a weekly caption competition on this website. For various reasons, though, I’ve always decided against it.

Well, maybe it’s time for me to change my mind. Check out this weird gem of a pic that an Ogle Mole recently sent to us. It’s from the Blū VIP party at the Devon Boathouse. It features the governor of Oklahoma, her pink haired daughter and Queen Nezra of the Fairy People. Or something like that.

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Gravy Train’s OU / OSU Football Power Poll: Week Eight

10) Boring Ass OU/KU Game was Boring

This game was over by the time the Boy Scouts showed everyone their seats, and was completely unwatchable after the first few minutes of the second half.

To the mild surprise of some, including me, OU was anything but flat. Some will complain about the 185 yards rushing they surrendered to Kansas, but that happens when your opponent rushes the ball 58 times. OU did give up over 300 yards of offense to Kansas, but hell, Kansas ran 86 plays, averaging a paltry 3.6 yards a play. Normally this post would be filled with colorful language when an OU opponent runs 35 more plays than the Sooners. But again that happens when you have two special teams touchdowns and the game is out of hand midway through the 3rd. Yes, OU should have run the ball more often. Yes, there were scores of swing passes. And that won’t cut it next week. But OU can take from this game the knowledge they did exactly what they needed to do to win - avoid a letdown.

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9) OU/Notre Dame

And let the hype begin. Notre Dame travels to Norman this weekend for a prime time showdown against the Sooners, complete with College GameDay, tradition, and my drunk ass downing bourbon like fun-sized Snickers bars.

This game truly has epic potential. Though the season has a long way to go, I fully expect a 2008 Texas Tech like atmosphere both outside and inside the stadium this Saturday, only with annoying Notre Dame fans everywhere. Tickets are at a premium that I have never seen. We are looking for four tickets together, and I see nothing under $450 per ticket. Some jerky offered me $2,000 … per ticket. News flash – this isn’t the effing Super Bowl. It’s the biggest non-conference game in decades, but I not blowing my weekly wine budget on four hours I am unlikely to remember.

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