Miss Enid, Alexandra Eppler, was crowned Real Miss Oklahoma on Saturday night. Yep, Miss Enid. I bet her talent was threshing wheat.
Alexandra Eppler, competing as Miss Enid, won the Miss Oklahoma title Saturday night at Oral Roberts University’s Mabee Center.
Eppler, of Enid, is a graduate of the University of Oklahoma with a bachelor of science degree.
For the talent competition, Eppler did an interpretive dance to “Wonderland.”
“I kind of feel like I’m floating right now,” she said. “I actually had two people just pinch me because I didn’t think this was real life — I’m elated.
So, I just had to google both interpretive dance and the song Wonderland. On a positive note, it’s not the John Mayer “Your Body Is A Wonderland.” On a negative note, guess which state’s not going to win Miss America this year.
Anyway, Alexandra’s platform for the pageant was over-the-top persistence. When I searched for pictures of Alexandra for the obligatory Miss Oklahoma after the jump photo dump, I learned she’s some sort of pageant Sellsword. She’s been Miss Something of Whatever since you were probably 20 pounds lighter. For example, here’s a pic of Alexandra as 2009 Miss Oak Cliff. I guess that’s some suburb of Dallas or something:
Apparently Alexandra wanted a change of scenery or easier competition, so she ended up in Oklahoma and was named Miss Oklahoma State Fair in 2010. Her bouquet was made of turkey legs and corn on the cob.
Here’s a pic:
From big-budget monstrosities like Twister to stereotypical Sundance fodder such as Rudderless, Oklahoma loves to make a big deal out of any major movies that grace us with their cinematic presence. We’ll close busy streets and demolish entire towns, legalize the murder of hookers and even open a branch of Scientology in Mayfair Village, happily catering to Hollywood’s each and every need, even if it’s only for a split-second scene of Orlando Bloom blankly looking at the OKC National Memorial. Anything that can get us some of that sweet Big League City recognition!
But, for some reason, we didn’t do any of that for Pauly Shore’s 1994 comedy In the Army Now.
Happy Monday, everyone. Hopefully the rain this past weekend didn’t give you cabin fever from keeping you inside instead of enjoying all the happy summer time activities. If you’re like me (and I’m pretty sure you’re not because if there were more of me, the world would be super dysfunctional), then you consider rain to be the silver lining behind the clouds, because it affords you another day wherein you aren’t expected to do any sort of lawn work. And we’ve had several days where there has been zero lawn work on my part. Anyway, I know you guys don’t come here for my views of yard work. You come for the tweets. So I’ve got them for you, as always, after the jump.
To keep things interesting and make 62% of our reader base happy and content, we’ve decided to launch a new feature. It’s called “Hot Girl Friday.”
It’s going to be very similar to our now defunct and popular series “Hot Girl a Day in the Month of May.” Each Friday we’ll post a pic of a hot girl with some sort of Oklahoma connection, write something about her that no one will read, and then post some SFW pictures that everyone will look at. Sometimes it will be serious, other times it will be satirical, and every time it will be chauvinistic.
I’ve been thinking about doing this for a while. The tipping point occurred last week when the Journal Record profiled former Playmate, Cinemax actress, fitness model and now Oklahoma girl Divini Rae. I figured if the Journal Record, a tiny business-focuses newspaper that hides all it’s content behind a pay wall and can get away with exploiting hot women in an effort to appease readers, we can too, right?
Plus, Friday is typically a pretty slow day on the Internet. It’s an easy way to drive some traffic and satisfy our large army of loyal readers who take time away from the Chive to come here and complain when we write about politics. It will also make Dean Blevins happy. In turn, it will give our feminist readers and Level 4 Groupies something to complain about when they come here to say we are nothing but sexist perverts.
But enough about why we’re doing this. Let’s learn a bit about Divini. Since I can’t post any of the Journal Record’s write-up, I’ll share some snippets from her dated IMDB.com bio instead. She’s our first official Hot Girl Friday.
Lovely, busty, and shapely blonde stunner Divini Rae Sorenson was born on July 31, 1977 in Alaska. Her parents are of mixed English, Swedish, German, and Cherokee Indian heritage. Divini grew up in a log cabin with no electricity in a remote fishing village located to nearby Fairbanks, Alaska…
She was the Playmate of the Month in the November, 2003 issue of “Playboy”. Rae subsequently appeared in several “Playboy” videos and posed for a handful of newsstand special editions. Divini had regular roles in the adult TV shows, Hotel Erotica Cabo (2006) and The Erotic Traveler (2007).
Rae has penned articles as a freelance writer for many newspapers and magazines. Divini has worked for various charities, that include “Children of the Night”, “Save the Children” and “American Cancer Society”. In addition, Rae has even done work as a photographer. She lives in Brentwood, California with her husband, Winston Fong, and beautiful baby daughter.
I’m not sure how or why, but somehow Divini and her husband Dr. Winston Fong ended up in Oklahoma City. He’s a spinal surgeon at McBride Orthopedic Hospital. If I could push a button and start over, I always say I’d get a degree in accounting, start an oil company, and then get rich. Maybe I should consider “become a spinal surgeon” instead. I only know of two spinal surgeons. One is married to a former playmate and B-movie queen, the other is one of the coolest motherf*ckers I know (Dr. Ed Shadid). Maybe there’s something in spinal water or something?
Here are some pics of Divini. A few of them are dated, but who cares:
Hold the presses everyone! The Oklahoma legislature and Governor Fallin have saved us from the Great Satan! Common Core (CC) is no more! Your breakfast tasted better this morning didn’t it? I bet you won’t hit any red lights either. As usual, the shills on capitol hill got rid of something they didn’t understand and blamed it on the federal government. First of all, CC isn’t the problem, it’s the testing. CC are only standards, not how you teach and test them.
Of course, anytime something doesn’t go exactly as planned, blame is always tossed to the federal government and White House. Nevermind that CC was developed by governors and state leaders. Nevermind that CC was supported only months ago by Fallin and state school superintendent Janet Barresi. Instead of taking time to improve the idea of CC, we just scrap it and go back to our previous obsolete standards.
“We are capable of creating Oklahoma academic standards that will be better than Common Core,” Fallin said yesterday in a statement. Do you honestly believe the politicians in the state house who know very little about education, or anything, will make responsible decisions about education?
I’m sorry, I know you guys probably didn’t want to read an education rant by the “Big Town” guy. It’s just that some of this stuff honestly scares me. I’ll make you feel better. How about that Thunder? Wait….
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