As you all know, I enjoy browsing mugshots online and while I wait in line at Walgreens. It’s like looking at a who’s who of popular kids in high school. Well, maybe not “popular,” but the cool kids whose parents let them do whatever they wanted… which means they were negligent. In the past, I’ve made fun of the people arrested in a prostitution sting and Fox 25’s published mugshots, and each time some PC liberal has criticized me for being immature and picking on the vulnerable, sick and weak. That means it’s now time for me to check out the talent that KOCO has put online!
Just to clarify, these people are in no way connected. The only thing they have in common is that they probably enjoy narcotics and their pictures are displayed on KOCO’s website. And just like on Cops, they are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Check them out:
James Eric Eidson
Alias: Stank Eye
Charged With: One complaint of assault and battery, and one complaint of assault and battery with a dangerous weapon.
Favorite Pick-up Line: “Hey baby, why don’t you come have a seat on Uncle Pa’s lap bone.” Also, he’s watching you right now.
Milton Stanley Moore
Alias: Short Round
Charged With: complaints of trafficking a controlled dangerous substance, assault and battery on a police officer, resisting arrest and destruction of evidence.
Fun Fact: His head is so perfectly round that scientist’s use it to calibrate their instruments. The charges of him impersonating a bowling ball were dropped.
It’s not secret that I was insanely excited when I found out that the Tulsa Shock drafted Skylar Diggins. Until a few months ago, to Tulsans, the Shock was barely a blip in the radar. I’m pretty sure that last year, Victory Christian’s JV football team had more of a following than the Shock did. Skylar Diggins seemed like the answer to the Shock’s management’s prayers. This girl was a talented college basketball star. She’s gorgeous and friends with a bunch of celebrities. Pundits on ESPN thought Skylar alone had the momentum to re-engergize the entire league. She has almost 400,000 Twitter followers, surely some of them will want to see Skylar play at home! “This is a huge opportunity,” they thought. “She’ll make this team into something big,” they said.
Instead of immediately becoming a local celebrity and generating some public interest for the Tulsa Shock like I assumed would happen, Skylar’s been–well–kind of well-behaved and boring. I had high hopes and expectations for her and the local gossip scene. I pictured her walking into the Dust Bowl with an entourage, then promptly leaving because they no longer play any good music. I wanted her to be banned from 66ers games for causing too much of a distraction. I wanted her to dance on the bar at the Max while the bartenders blew fire like a circus act. I wanted her to name drop bars I frequent with me on this blog. It was going to be great.
From a business standpoint, someone’s got to tell Gary Kloppenburg and Steve Swetoha that they’ve got a huge opportunity on their hands. Skylar is arguably the most interesting WNBA player in the league right now, and instead of being excited about her on the team, everyone’s forgotten about it. I’ve written up a few PR stunts that could help get our girl Skylar in the spotlight, and create some excitement for her and our great state’s WNBA team. A little bit of scandal always prompts the market price of entertainment, and at this point, the Shock needs all the help it can get. Check them out after the jump.
Move over natural gas!
Oklahoma has a new pure, clean and abundant natural resource ready to take the world by storm. It’s called Paddlefish caviar, and it can be found in murky river or lake water near you.
Via Darren Rovel with ABC News:
Caviar, preferred by society’s upper crust, is now being sourced from the most unlikely of places — Oklahoma.
The most famous caviar comes from Russia, where the Beluga sturgeon live in the Caspian Sea; however, a significant decrease in the number of fish has led to fishing restrictions.
Enter the landlocked state of Oklahoma, where the American paddlefish and its copycat eggs reside in rivers and lakes.
“We’ve had buyers from Europe, Japan, all over,” said Brent Gordon, who works for the state and supervises the Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Paddlefish Research Center. “They’re the first to tell us that the quality of our eggs and the quality of our operation is second to none.”
Cool, so how do you cash in on this lucrative new trade? Well, you don’t.
Here we are on Monday again, and I’ve got some tweets for you to peruse. It was a strange week for Twitter. Everyone basically had overblown opinions either about that Sharknado movie or the Zimmerman trial verdict. In either case, it seemed like no one really understood what was going on. At least in the case of #Sharknado, everyone got out all of their jokes and will never have to use them again, hopefully. Because it seems like if you weren’t live tweeting the Sharknado movie, you were tweeting about how stupid it was that people were live tweeting the Sharknado movie. All this lead me to log out of Twitter and check out Facebook. Please don’t ever make me do that again.
This week’s tweets are after the jump.
The happy couple pictured above is Milo and Geraldine Box. Last Sunday, they were at Lake Thunderbird doing what stereotypical old people have been doing for generations. They were fishing, enjoying the scenery and complaining about the loud music young people play.
Finally, Milo had enough.
Milo Box and his wife, Geraldine, have been married for 48 years and love to fish at Lake Thunderbird.
They were both at Fisherman’s Point Sunday night when a violent fight started between 72-year-old Milo and a group of boaters in their teens and 20′s.
The couple’s peaceful getaway was disrupted by a boat with several people in it blaring offensive rap music.
After standing by for weeks, Milo finally decided it was time to confront them.
Once the boat docked and with the music still blaring, he walked over.
“I said ‘My wife has already spoken to you about turning the music down because it’s very offensive and very loud.” said Milo. “You’re disturbing the peace and the people’s peace and there’s young children that don’t need to be listening to that music.”
Yep, that’s exactly how it happened. We know this because it’s what Milo and his wife told us, and as you know, old people are trustworthy and never lie or bend the truth. Milo just peacefully walked up to the hooligans and politely asked them to turn down their music. That’s when all Hell broke loose:
Thanks! Your message has been sent!