What’s up, readers? Are you bummed about Hostess declaring bankruptcy? Don’t be. Just remember that awful film that the Twinkie cream leaves on the roof of your mouth, then think about how your saliva can’t break it down. Then think about how long that is sitting in your stomach while your enzymes try to break it down but can’t. What is that stuff made of? No one really knows. Just know that while Twinkies may not survive a bankruptcy, at least that crap is still in the lining of your intestine. Are you thoroughly grossed out now? Good.
Here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.
Nice, bloggers. Real frickin’ nice. What the hell is wrong with you? Did you honestly think that we at the Lost Ogle wouldn’t find out that you were all gonna hang out without us? This is just like that time in the fifth grade when I didn’t get invited to Lauren’s slumber party and I cried while watching TGIF and eating pizza with my mom. Well, guess what, Oklahoma bloggers? I learned how to do my hair and I don’t wear clothes from Sears anymore! I’m one of the cool kids now! How dare you not invite me and my TLO colleagues to your little party!
But whatever. I don’t even care. I’m serious. Go have fun in Edmond on Friday night, like that’s even possible. Enjoy your Passionfruit and Pinkitzel. Just know that we at The Lost Ogle will be enjoying big kid treats and making fun of you behind your backs. So have fun with your door prizes. I hope your page views go down. Jerks.
Earlier today, a 10 Commandments monument was unveiled on the northern grounds of the Oklahoma State Capitol. The monument was apparently installed to remind our lawmakers how archaic and bizarre Oklahoma legislation can truly be.
From what I’ve heard, the monument looks great…other than a couple of typos. English teacher Moses would not be proud.
From KOKH Fox 25:
A Ten Commandments monument unveiled at the state capitol Thursday comes with a mistake. The 6-foot-tall monument has the word “Sabbath” spelled “Sabbeth.”
However local pastors and online sources all show Sabbath spelled with an “a” and not an “e.”
The word “maidservant” also appears misspelled. The “v” appears to be a “u,” spelling the word “maidseruant.”
Fox 25 contacted State Representative Mike Ritze, who paid $10,000 for the monument. Rep. Ritze told us he saw prototypes before the monument was erected, but did not see the final version.
Rep. Ritz said Tulsa-based SI Memorials made the monument. Fox 25 tried calling the business, but it was already closed for the day.
Here’s a pic of the carnage that was posted to Twitter by KOSU’s Michael Cross:
Remember when the Oklahoma Gazette was a cool newspaper that covered local news and entertainment happenings that people cared about? You know, things like this.
Well, those days are apparently long gone. Just check out this week’s cover story:
Yep, the Oklahoma Gazette is now running feature articles on dwarves, gingers, and Bosley rejects. At least the headline’s accurate. That really is no laughing matter.
Seriously, what’s going on there? Are they profiling comedians, computer lab technicians or soon to be sexual predators? That makes me want to watch TwinProv and cry. The only thing that could make that photo any sadder is if Joel Decker was in the background performing stand-up.
Actually, I’m kidding about all that. Those are some good people. The guy in the center is our very own Spencer Hicks. You may be familiar with him. Even though he didn’t mention it in the Gazette article, he writes a column for The Lost Ogle every Tuesday that’s literally read by dozens of people. The bald guy is Bradchad Porter. No, that’s not one of my typos, his name really is Bradchad. I heard he goes by that just to throw off the girl who calls out the names at City Bites. The dude on the left is Gróin, son of Nimód of the cave people.
Anyway, go read about them and the good things they do for the OKC comedy scene over at the Gazette’s website. They really do bring some funny comedians to town. You should also check out one of their shows at the 51st Street Speakeasy. I’m not sure you’ll laugh, but you’ll feel like you’re supporting a good cause.
Also, people at the Gazette who take us too seriously, we still like you guys. Just make sure you never do anything like this:
I’ve watched one full season of American Idol. It was the one when Carrie Underwood beat the southern rocker dude in the finals. I suffered through it because I was married at the time and watching American Idol was one of things confused and conforming married men did to make life tolerable. Oh well, at least Carrie Underwood was hot.
I’ve also owned one Aerosmith CD. It was 1993’s Get a Grip. I bought the CD because I was 15 and really didn’t know what good music sounded like. Plus, I had a major crush on Alicia Silverstone, which has now been retroactively ruined thanks to the video of her chewing up food and spitting it into her kid’s mouth. Oh well, at least Liv Tyler became a hot elf.
Anyway, I’m telling you all this because Aerosmith performed in Oklahoma City last week and it just so happened that Ryan Seacrest and Randy Jackson were in town shooting some scenes for American Idol at the same time. This lead to the trio catching a Thunder game, Seacrest and Jackson singing Come Together at the Aerosmith Concert, and Steven Tyler creating silly mischief on the American Idol set.
Confused? Well, so is Steven Tyler. He thinks it all took place in Wichita, KS. From the Wichita-Eagle:
I can’t tell if that Thunder fan is really clever or just really cheap. Also, I can’t figure out if the fan is a he or she. I doesn’t matter though. The person gets some bonus points for creativity. Let’s just hope he/she keeps the letters and numbers on the back after Kevin Martin’s game last night. Here were his stats in last night’s loss to Memphis:
33 mins – 7 points – 3 rebounds – 0 assists – No Beard
Here were James Harden’s in the Rockets victory over the Hornets:
39 mins – 30 points – 3 rebounds – 4 assists – Beard
Okay, I know it’s a dick move to compare the stats of these two guys for just one game, especially when you consider that Kevin Martin (21.6) has a higher PER than James Harden (19.3) through two weeks of the season, but as we all know, James Harden has a beard. He also does things like this:
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