The Lost Ogle


Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Friday Night in the Big Town: A Jedi Night, a Lucky Block Party and Serge’s Party.

FNITBT

Hello everyone. It’s Adam. This is one my favorite times of the year because I love tournament brackets.

You might have noticed that Ogle Madness is alive and well and college basketball conference tournaments have started. Soon it will be March Madness, the God of all brackets.

Everything is improved if you filter it through a bracket. Do you want to improve voter turnout for local elections? Pit #1 seed Mick Cornett against the moron running on the “Foundering Fathers for LSD” ticket and #2 seed Ed Shadid against #3 seed Zero the white rapper. We can make it a double-elimination tournament just for kicks.

Sally Kern’s greatest hits would make an outstanding bracket. What would be Kernel Sally’s “one shining moment?” Her statement about black people not wanting to study hard? What about “City councils from Pittsburgh to West Palm Beach, FL are under the control of gays”? It would be a riveting competition.

Anyways, this is what’s going on this weekend.

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Survival of the Fittest: Channel 25 will do anything for ratings

funny-evolution-man-trap

As we know, the religion of evolution is a controversial topic in Oklahoma. And it should be. The easy to prove wrong theory is full of lies, deception and makes no sense at all. Do you really believe humans evolved from apes that saw a black monolith in front of cave millions of years ago? Yeah right.

Channel 25 protected innocent Oklahomans from this blasphemous scientific “theory” forced upon us by evil liberal scientists with an agenda by editing out a brief mention of human evolution during Sunday night’s broadcast of Cosmos. By “editing out,” I mean they replaced his ludicrous beliefs with a promo for the Fox 25 News at 9.

From The Raw Story:

In what appeared to be an editing error, a Fox affiliate in Oklahoma managed to remove the only mention of evolution from Sunday night’s Cosmos science documentary by cutting only 15 seconds from the broadcast.

The much-anticipated reboot of Carl Sagan’s legendary Cosmos premiered on Sunday with an overview of the history of the Universe, from the Big Bang to the advent of humans.

It wasn’t until the last 10 minutes of the show that host Neil deGrasse Tyson hinted at human evolution…

For viewers of KOKH-TV in Oklahoma City, that 15 second paragraph was replaced by an awkwardly-inserted commercial for the evening news.

First of all, I apologize for my intro. I thought I was ghostwriting a newspaper column for science-hating Oklahoma legislator Josh Breechen! You see, I was trying to impress his hot wife and, well, it won’t happen again. My bad.

Here’s a clip of the incident. It is kind of funny / awkward:

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Ogle Madness VII: Play-In Game 3 & 4

laurenr

That’s Lauren Richardson. Remember her? She was the champion of our first Ogle Madness. That’s incredibly dated and weird and makes me want to go to Braum’s and have an ice cream cone.

This is the part where I tell you there’s still time to enter our bracket challenge. Email your pick to win it all to OgleMadness@gmail.com. If you select the winner, you may win a dinner for eight to LOCAL.

Here are the match-ups for our second batch of play-in games:

Game 3: Reuters Reporters vs. Aubrey McClendon (Winner faces Sweet Brown on Wednesday)

Game 4: Zero vs. Emily Sutton’s Serious Fireman Boyfriend (Winner faces Real Miss Oklahoma on Friday)

Vote after the jump:

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This woman received life in prison for shoplifting

shoplifting lady

What do you think is a fair punishment for someone who has been caught shoplifting 29 times?  Community service, jail time, hands cut off, forcing them to do all their shoplifting at Old Navy?

I ask because the Oklahoma woman pictured above – Cecilia Rodriguez – was sentenced to life in prison for shoplifting. She was caught doing the act 29 times. Her appeal of the sentence was recently denied by the U.S. Supreme Court. That really sucks for her… and for us as taxpayers. We now have to spend $18,000 per year to imprison her because she’s a bad thief. Hopefully she’ll get some thieving tips from fellow inmates while in jail.

From NewsOK.com:

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The owner of The Key is building a castle in Edmond…

Last night, Channel 9 reported that the largest house in the US may soon be constructed in Northeast Edmond. It’s being built by the guy who owns The Key car dealerships. Or better yet, the Key chain of car dealerships. You know, like key chain? Get it? Haha!

From News 9:

There are plans to build the country’s largest single family residence in northeast Edmond.

Last year, the Edmond Planning Commission was asked to give approval to a mega mansion on the northwest corner of Sorghum Mill Road and Westminster Road.

“It’s truly a castle,” says Bob Schiermeyer, who saw the first renderings late last year and tells News 9 the plans call for a draw bridge and spires that reach 90 feet.

Schiermeyer says original plans called for a home that was around 75,000 square feet, but the home’s architect says the home has now grown to 92,650 square feet. That architect says, if completed, the castle home will be the largest single family residence in the U.S.

The City of Edmond says the home is the idea of David Frayer, the owner of the Key Auto Group.

Okay, I’m really sorry about the whole key chain thing above. It was awful, but keep in mind the guy is building a 92,650 square foot castle. I have enough enemies in town. The last thing I want to do is piss off a used car dealer who has a dungeon.

Also, since he likes to throw his money around on ridiculous extravagant things like fucking castles, maybe he’ll want to buy this website someday. Actually, that’s a weak excuse. You don’t have to be rich to buy The Lost Ogle. Hell, you don’t even need good credit. If you have a job and $99, we can get you in this website today. Come see us!

Here’s a rendering of the castle.

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