The Lost Ogle


Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Did Penn State get what they deserved?

(Editor’s Note: Even though he has a weird name, Gravy Train is a practicing attorney in the OKC metro. He decided to read and breakdown The Freeh Report so we didn’t have to.)

“Haven’t they suffered enough?!”

Local Sports Radio Celebrity Craig Humphreys remitted his special brand of levity to a terrible American tragedy this week as news of the Penn State football program’s probation reverberated throughout the sports world. Of course, the Humpman was referring to the atrocities committed against the Penn State football program and not the rape victims. Excellent perspective from your tower in Oak Tree! Now give us your breakdown on this weekend’s Canadian Open.

This Monday, the NCAA levied damaging sanctions on the Penn State football program in direct response to the “Report of Special Investigative Counsel Regarding the Actions of the Pennsylvania State University Related to the Child Sexual Abuse Committed by Gerald A. Sandusky,” better known as The Freeh Report. Freeh, Sporkin & Sullivan was hired by Penn State to conduct an independent review of the Jerry Sandusky sex abuse scandal. The Freeh Report is a detailed report of the findings by the Freeh law firm. It was this report that NCAA President Mark Emmert used as a guideline in determining that Penn State violated the Bylaws and Constitution of the NCAA, thereby permitting the NCAA to sanction Penn State in whatever matter they sought fit.

I read the entire Freeh Report this week. This article is a focus on what we know as fact, what can be inferred from those facts, and whether the facts and inferences warrant the punishment handed down by the NCAA and the vilification of Joseph V. Paterno.

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Channel 25 apparently chose this guy to replace Andrew Speno…

We received an email last night from an Ogle Mole claiming that the guy pictured above, Mike Brooks, will be the new anchor for the Fox 25 News at 9.

Mike will be replacing Andrew Speno, who was unceremoniously let go a few months back for either making “inappropriate” jokes about Whitney Houston, turning the Channel 25 news room into a gossipy sewing circle, or knowing “too much” about the station’s former horn dog news director. Or it could be that he wasn’t married to a journalist. I have no clue.

Anyway, Mike Brooks is currently a fill-in morning anchor at Fox 4 in Ft. Meyers, Florida and has several ties to Oklahoma. From his bio at the Fox 4 website:

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Top 10 reasons Clark Matthews is calling it quits

Everything comes to an end. Today, my journey with TheLostOgle reaches its conclusion.

Surely, some of you will be curious about what happened, and the truth is nothing happened. It just is. My time to walk away presented itself, and I ignored it. And then I ignored it again. Now, I’m not.

But if you want reasons, here they are:

10. Lists are for the birds

If I were to rank my favorite websites, Cracked.com would have to be in the top three. Most of their article titles start with a number and then finish with an interesting hook. For example, “6 Things Rich People Need to Stop Saying.” It is exactly what people on the internet want.

Internet readers hate scrolling through text. They want their reading to be segmented and ideally sandwiched between pictures of women in bikinis. As I said, I am in love with websites that do things that way (including this one), but the truth is I am not in love with writing that way.

To do what I enjoy doing, my writing style is more along the lines of other website I enjoy like Slate and Grantland. My interest is starting with an idea that is–hopefully–unique and writing a thesis paper on it.

Unfortunately, thousands of words of text are generally intimidating to those who go to the internet to take a break from work or entertain themselves during a bathroom pit stop. So, the options are me writing things that are more appealing, but not up to my standards, or us parting ways. Since one of the objectives of this website is to draw in as many readers as possible, the latter seems to be the best choice.

Now, I have been known to write in this style. Sometimes I even do it well. And while I don’t enjoy this writing method, this article is obviously in that precise format. The truth is, this is my swan song, and I want people to read it.

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Metro girls despair as Tan and Tone America closes all metro locations

It’s probably no secret to you readers that I have incredibly low self-esteem, unless I’m drunk. In which case, I am more than happy to let you know how sexy and awesome I am. So, as a woman who has absurd body hang-ups, like whether or not my toes look fat in certain sandals (they totally to in gladiator-style sandals) or how oddly sloped my shoulders are (this is a thing that I worry about), I occasionally do things to enhance my appearance. And while I don’t go very far in the pursuit because plastic surgery is terrifying, I have been known to sign up at my local tanning salon every now and again. Now, before you judge me, there is absolutely no history of skin cancer in my family, and seeing as how I am one of two Iranian-Mexican-Native Americans in the state (my brother being the other one), I can get a tan like nobody’s business.

I, like many daddy’s girls, housewives, waitresses from Piedmont or Mustang, and every bride-to-be, had a membership at Tan and Tone America. Two or three times a week, I would go in, have my finger scanned, sign up for the bed I wanted, make small talk with the bleach blonde wearing yoga pants and a Victoria’s Secret cami behind the counter, and then proceed to cook myself in a coffin-shaped oven that emits cancer-causing rays. Occasionally, I would sign up for the leg tanner after I fried myself. As a girl from Edmond, this seemed like the most natural thing in the world to do.

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Driving drunk is stupid…and so are DUI checkpoints

Last night, I stumbled across an article in the Oklahoman while proofreading (irony, huh) Spencer’s post about local news stories. It was the one about the Oklahoma County Sheriff’s Department having to end their highly publicized, inefficient and lazy tactic of conducting monthly sobriety checkpoints to catch a few drunk drivers and, in the process, harass law-abiding citizens.

Overall, the article wasn’t that bad. It provided a fair look at the issue, quoted representatives from the law enforcement and legal professions, and even questioned if the sobriety check points are necessary or effective (they are not). But towards the end, something struck a nerve. Here it is:

Spreading the word

Oklahoma City residents use Twitter and Facebook to tell their friends where checkpoints are, so they can avoid them if they have been drinking.

On the night of the June 30 sobriety checkpoints, a woman tweeted pictures of the six locations.

Another tweet that included the same photo read, “drive sober and stay away from these places tonight. We don’t want you in jail sweetheart!”…

These two tweets June 30 were tweeted to the account holders’ more than 400 followers. Then the two photos were retweeted by 35 other accounts to more than 50,000 Twitter followers.

“It’s something we know with modern technology that people will be able to know and share where checkpoints are,” Myers said.

“Sometimes they will post it on Twitter and Facebook, that’s just to be expected.”

Wait a second. As the image above shows, we were one of those 35 Twitter accounts that retweeted the list of DUI checkpoints, but to claim that we did so with the intent to help drunk people avoid checkpoints is misleading and wrong.

Here’s a snippet of a chippy email I sent to Carmen Foreman, the intern who wrote the article, and some of her editors at 1:30 this morning while most of you were sleeping. I left out some of the intro because it’s redundant:

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