The Lost Ogle


Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Mary Fallin gave a speech at Harvard and is apparently a 2016 presidential candidate…

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Mary Fallin delivered a speech at Harvard last night. Yes, THE Harvard University. Not Harvard on May or that road in Tulsa. The prestigious American university that’s produced eight presidents, 21 US supreme court justices and the Winklevoss twins.

The speech wasn’t publicized. In fact, the local media didn’t report it until yesterday afternoon. From The Tulsa World via the AP:

Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin is heading to Boston to deliver the keynote address at Harvard University’s conference on education and workforce development.

Fallin will be among the speakers Monday during the conference titled “Creating Pathways to Prosperity.”

The governor says she plans to focus on recent education reforms in Oklahoma and the strength of the state’s career and technology centers.

The Creating Pathways to Prosperity conference features national business, government and education leaders.

At first I was going to question why we’re just now hearing about this, but I guess you can’t blame the Governor’s handlers for keeping the trip secret. For one, Mary Fallin takes a lot of flack for her travel schedule. And two, they probably find the entire idea to be just as ridiculous and silly as we do. Mary Fallin and Harvard go together like cats and dogs, oil and vinegar, and KFOR and award winning journalism. To make it even better, she apparently talked about the “strengths” of Oklahoma’s “career and technology centers.” Basically, our Governor flew to Harvard to promote vo-techs (and probably tour Fenway Park and other touristy things). That’s very fitting and very sad.

Also, when did Mary Fallin become a national expert on “Creating Pathways to Prosperity?” Her biggest accomplishment since becoming Governor is blocking healthcare funding for the poor. Hell, she hasn’t even been able to lower state income taxes for the rich. It seems like the only thing Mary Fallin knows about prosperity is marrying an eccentric dentist and/or wealthy workmans comp attorney. Also, can she share with us some of the education reforms that have worked out so well? Don’t we rank in the bottom half of everything? I’d like to hear about them.

Anyway, I tried to dig up more information about her speech but my Google search came up dry. I did, however, stumble across this list of 16 women who might run for president in 2016. Mary Fallin was one of them:

Via the Huffington Post:

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Portlandia based a sketch on a Tulsa coffee shop…

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The image above is not staged artwork for Stuff White People Like. It isn’t one of Evan Rachel Wood’s Instagram photos. It’s actually a real life list of rules that’s on display at the DoubleShot Coffee Co in Tulsa. The rules were apparently an inspiration for a sketch on Portlandia. They were also probably written in an oversized moleskin notebook.

From an Spitlsider interview with Portlandia star Carrie Brownstein:

Carrie, since you live in Portland year-round but have also done tons of touring with Wild Flag, have you found hidden Portlandias in other cities?

Carrie: Last year I found myself in Tulsa, Oklahoma and I had never been before. I went to a wonderful coffee shop that had a list of amazingly esoteric rules by the register that we actually ended up writing a sketch about. I will emphasize they had great coffee. Also, all over Tulsa are little pockets of collectives and boutiques and artisan bakeries. It’s the same with Birmingham, Alabama — repurposing warehouse spaces into multi-use living and work spaces, you know, just revitalizing the downtown in a very considered way that caters to the creative class and the people who want to have a furniture-making studio — as this kind of return to trying to sustain a local condensed economy that values authenticity and craftsmanship. I feel like that is popping up in so many cities, especially in places like Birmingham or Tulsa where there was a time where those downtown areas were somewhat abandoned and people moved to the suburbs. And so now you have all this empty space that is able to be reimagined and reconstituted, and those areas feel really Portlandy. It’s amazing to have some of the best coffee or best sandwiches I’ve had in the last year in those cities. So yeah — I see Portland everywhere.

Take that Chandler Bing! Someone funny and rich and famous thinks Tulsa is artsy and cool! It’s too bad Carrie Brownstein didn’t visit Valkyrie or Arnie’s or Soundpony while she was in Tulsa too–there’s got to be at least another few episodes worth of comedy lurking in those places. To think, the kids in my pointless upper division elective classes actually pointed and condescendingly laughed at me when I told them Tulsa was kind of indie and creative. Suck it haters, my gentrified apartment, roller skates, and affinity for men who can pull off capital V-necks are finally vindicated.

We should probably note that the Spitslider interview was first dug up by our friends at This Land. Considering This Land is the type of alternative newspaper that could also inspire a sketch on Portlandia, it’s only slightly ironic.

Anyway, for those of you who aren’t confined by the prying eyes of your cube mates, check out the Portlandia coffee manifesto skit after the jump. I’d give it a solid four “ha” rating.

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Ogle Madness VI: First Round, Midwest Region (Upper Bracket)

Another Tuesday, another two posts involving Ogle Madness VI. They should call it TWOs-day! Dammit! How am I not paid to be quippy?

Here’s your match up for the first batch of games from the Midwest Region:

(1) Joleen Chaney vs. (16) Unidentified Dead Man from 1981

(8) Mary Fallin vs. (9) Rowdy

(4) Bob Stoops vs. (13) Guy from the Key

(5) David Payne vs. (12) Skip Bayless

Check back later this afternoon to cast your vote for Midwest Region – Lower Bracket. What? Like you had anything greater than that planned for this afternoon. Life check! You didn’t.

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Gypsies are invading Nichols Hills…

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Over the past week, both the OKC Friday and News 9 ran stories warning Nichols Hills residents that sneaky, slimy Gypsies may be targeting their super wealthy hamlet. Yes, “Gypsies.” Not regular crooks, thieves or con-artists. Gypsies.

Since we rarely, if ever, get to quote something from the OKC Friday, here’s their story:

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Ogle Madness VI: First Round, Northeast Region (Lower Bracket)

Ogle Madness VI is just like cockfighting. The only difference is that liberal fat cats haven’t made Ogle Madness VI illegal…yet! Cockfighting was legal in this state until about ten years ago. That’s right. It was legal to make two unassuming, small brained, animals fight each other with tiny razors on their little cock hands, or whatever they’re called. I know what they’re called, I just wanted to type “cock-hands.” They’re called “chicken hooves.” I was home schooled so I’m probably wrong.

Now that we can’t have cockfights in this state anymore, you’ll have to wield your strategic fight powers by voting in Ogle Madness VI. Who’s up today in our Northeast Region Lower Bracket? Here’s a look.

(6) “Jeeeffff. Corndog!” vs. (11) Constance Johnson

(3) Sweet Brown vs. (14) College Berry Tramel

(7) Wayne Coyne vs. (10) The Pioneer Woman

(2) Olivia Munn vs. (15) NE OKC Green Dragon

So strap your little razors to your pudgy little fingers and let’s get to voting!

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