I used to work with one of the these nominees. My original write-up for the nominee was a diatribe on the different ways I’d like to this person get what’s coming to them, but I decided to be slightly more polite. And less violent. Way less violent.
Well, since my dreams of a 45,000 word post on the benefits of disembowelment by demon dogs have been dashed, check out the nominees for Worst Human and vote!
Welcome to the Friday Mailbag!
First of all, I’m sticking with the theme of posting some of my favorite OU highlights. Although the Roy Williams leap is more recognizable, this is my favorite play in the history of OU football. The perfect season was on the line, the defense had struggled all day, and the rest of the country was beginning to figure out OU’s spread offense. In fact, after this game OU averaged only 19 points in victories against Tech, OSU, Kansas State and Florida State.
Anyway, I remember watching this game at my grandparents. Everyone was depressed. It was like we were watching a funeral on live TV. OU was down by 10 in the 4th quarter after making Jamar Tombs looking like Earl Campbell, and it looked like the dream season was coming to an end. Then Heupel willed the Sooners down for a touchdown, and on the very next play from scrimmage, Marshall stamped his ticket in the Sooner Magic and YouTube Chills Hall of Fame. OU went from being down 10 to being up by four and everyone, including Josh Heupel’s fake dad that they kept showing in the stands, started to get the feeling that the 2000 squad was a team of destiny.
Anyway, football season needs to hurry up and get here. We didn’t get a bunch of good emails this week, so I’m only going to share one. It’s of KJRH (Tulsa) weatherman Taft Price and his Tropical Storm Isaac Weather Dong. If you enjoy juvenile dick humor, you’ll like it.
Whoa Nelly, readers. I went to the Deli last night to see Dr. Pants. The show was great and I got a donut because Dr. Pants really knows their audience. But I also drank three red cups throughout the night. Which is 96 ounces of beer. Suffice it to say that I’m not feeling my best today, so if you don’t mind, I’ll be on my couch in a hoodie for the rest of the day, moaning about how I need someone to bring me a bacon sandwich.
Anyway, here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.
Real talk, readers. My strip club experiences are pretty limited. Since I live in Norman, I have made it to Suger’s a time or two, and I’ve even been motorboated by a stripper. It was a strange experience and I’d prefer not to go into detail, but suffice it to say that the dollar of a woman goes way farther at a strip club than the dollar of man. But I’ve also never been at a strip club when a relatively famous stripper is touring. I don’t know how far my money would get me with Little Sassy Cassee.
Little Sassy Cassee is 2’10”. She will be performing two shows at Night Trips today. So if on your lunch break you’re feeling like you’d like to get the party started a little early, you can get in for $10. But if you’d prefer to wait until this evening, cover goes up to $15. Either way, that’s a pretty small price to pay to see the smallest stripper in the world. And while the advertisement for this show says that good things come in small packages, I can’t really believe that all that much good comes out of Night Trips. But I guess we’ll see.
Happy Friday. It’s time for everyone’s favorite topic: Intersections!
Because this is the Worst of OKC, we excluded anything outside the actual city limits. Sorry 19th and I-35 in Moore for leaving you out of it. You would have won, I’m sure of it.
We also didn’t include highway interchanges. Hefner Parkway, I-40 west bound and I-35 Southbound at 5pm don’t count either. They’re highways so don’t even try to throw that into the comment section, traffic nerds.
So vote now! Maybe you’re sitting at one of these intersections right this second which means voting on an internet poll is just the thing to help you suppress your traffic rage. You’re welcome!
It’s been a strange national headline grabbing week for Oklahoma students. First, some girl from Prague wasn’t given her high school diploma because she said “Hell” during her commencement speech. Now we have some kid making the news because his parents are obnoxious Michigan fans.
From News 9:
A local parent is demanding changes to the dress code policy at her son’s Elementary school.
Last week, The principal at Wilson Elementary asked 5-year-old Cooper Barton to turn his University of Michigan t-shirt inside-out.
The boy’s mother says her son was told he was only allowed to wear an O.U. or O.S.U. shirt to Kindergarten class.
In fact, the dress code for Oklahoma City Public Schools states that only Oklahoma college apparel is allowed. Clothes from all other schools are against current policy.
“They should really worry about academics. It wasn’t offensive. He’s five,” says Cooper’s mother Shannon Barton.
Barton says her son had to turn his shirt inside out on the playground behind a tree.
The OKCPS Dress Code policy also says no professional team apparel. That means students are prohibited from wearing Oklahoma City Thunder gear to class.
The district says the dress code was created in 2005 with the help of an Anti-Gang Task Force.
When I first heard this story, I kind of felt sorry for the kid. Even though he probably couldn’t locate Michigan on a map, he just wanted to support his Michigan Wolverines! But then I saw this follow-up story. Apparently the Michigan Athletic Department heard about the ordeal. Now they’re now going to honor him and his opportunistic parents at halftime of a football game.
Via News 9:
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