Growing up, the Walmart near Northwest Expressway and MacArthur in Warr Acres was a weekly sojourn for my family, stopping by after Saturday Mass at St. Charles Borromeo to buy whatever people used to buy at pre-supersized Walmarts (I honestly can’t remember) before heading next-door to Pancho’s Mexican Buffett for a few plates of all-you-can eat deliciously low-rent flautas and enchiladas.
Having only recently returned to the Metro after a decade-long stint in Fort Collins, Colorado, I had a small list of places that I wistfully revisited to see how much OKC has or has not changed. One of the first places that I checked-up on was that Pancho’s, and, like so many of my childhood hopes and dreams, was completely gone, converted into possibly a Mediterranean eatery.
My heart sunk, knowing that no face-stuffingly sub-par Tex-Mex would be had today and, even worse, that never again would I be able to purchase their patented collector’s glass filled with a lime Jell-O parfait to replace the one a former lover had thrown at my head in a fit of well-deserved rage.
But, what was even more intriguing during that trip, was that the Walmart was also gone, replaced by another City Church and, oddly enough, something called GattiTown. “What the Hell is a GattiTown?” I thought aloud to no one in particular. Housed in a still quite large façade, I figured that it had to be an indoor amusement park of sorts, possibly with a Dave & Buster’s rip-off with latter-era Martin Scorsese theme. Seemed legit at the time, but it was also quickly forgotten, no longer having any need to venture into Warr Acres for any reason whatsoever.
The next time you get suckered into clicking a link to an adorable video of a dog and kitten reuniting with their owner while riding a tricycle on solar roadways on KFOR.com, or simply find yourself laughing at some of the comments on the Oklahoma City non-news news leader’s Facebook page, pour a little bit of your Starbucks out for a homie.
The original KFOR Social Media Bandit and Mother Nature’s Furry, Ashton Edwards, is leaving Oklahoma City for Salt Lake City. There’s no word on who is going to replace her on Frugal Friday, or if that segment is even still on the air. Seriously, if I’m at home on a Friday at 4:30pm watching someone on TV tell me about discounted Frontier City tickets and not on a patio drinking mojitos, make sure I’m not looking and pull the plug.
She’ll be joined in Salt Lake by her husband Chase Thomason. He’s accepted a position at KUTV Channel 2 where he will report on the weather without having to worry about being tickled by a strange nervous man wearing a red bedazzled tie.
This news is kind of bittersweet. If the gang at KFOR are the Crips of local social media, then Ashton was their OG. She regulated the feeds and clickbait like a social media maestro. She’d whip up adorable and inspirational clips of dogs and kittens and ducks and babies and heroes and everything else she saw on Reddit, Buzzfeed and The Today Show the day before for the enjoyment of thousands of clueless people on Facebook. It was impressive.
Anyway, Ali Meyer threw a big KFOR going away party for Ashton and Chase on Friday night. For some reason, we didn’t receive an invitation. I guess the entire thing was on the down-low, because there was hardly any mention of it on social media. In fact, this was the only pic I could find:
I know it’s hard, what with the Thunder loss and all. It’s almost like we have nothing to look forward to. But, on the bright side, at least you’ll get to bed on time from here on out because you won’t be staying up for over times and such. See? There’s always a bright side! And we don’t have to drink anymore “Thunderitas” at the bars anymore, so the world’s supply of blue curacao is safe for another year.
Anyway, I’ll do my best to put a smile on your face with some tweets that I’ve gathered here for you. May they make your monday a bit more bearable. As always, they’re after the jump!
I have bad news. For about a week and a half my eyes have not been focusing properly. I may need glasses. The bad news? Well, it’s for all you guys out there because I know I’ll look good in glasses. I always thought I would, and maybe in the near future I will show the world the next king of the hill of eye glasses models. I guess there is a possibility that it’s due to staring at computer screens too long and need to look away for a bit, or I may not look good in glasses. No, I doubt the latter.
If I do ever wear glasses I want the 60’s cat’s-eye style with the leopard print. While I’m at it I should find a poodle skirt and rock the whole look.
What on Earth am I talking about? See what this blog has done to me? Before I wrote for The Lost Ogle I was a simple Arkansan boy who played and recorded rock music and was working towards a journalism degree. Now look at me. If you learn only one thing from me let it be this: do not associate with Patrick. In the beginning it was like, “Sure! Write some FNITBT columns!” Now, well I think the best way to describe it is “it puts the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose again.”
That’s the perfect segway to what you want to do this weekend!
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