The Lost Ogle


Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

MMT: Michelle Apon likes Sixlets

Hello again, faithful readers. It’s another exciting edition of Monday Morning Tweets.

Many things happened on Twitter this week. For instance, the governor sent out of a bunch of tweets that appear to have been composed by a bored fifth-grader. Also, porn star Jesse Jane announced that she is now single. Time for some lucky guy to get sloppy seven-thousandths! And Joleen Chaney went to the fair.

Here’s the deal. That stuff has been covered on TLO already, so you’re not going to see any of it here. What you are going to see is this: three tweets from Channel 4′s Chellie Mills involving the word poop. Look, it’s not called Monday Morning Swanky Highbrow Tweets for the Classy, ok?

This week’s tweets are after the fold.

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Authorities need your help in tracking down this Sooner bank robber

Normally we post a reader mailbag on Friday, but I spent last night writing about Governor Mary Fallin’s Twitter account being hacked, this morning complaining about News 9 stealing images from our Mary Fallin story and not giving us credit, and this afternoon laughing at this super OU fan who robbed a bank in Duncan.

From the Duncan Banner, which is apparently Stephens County’s only daily newspaper:

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Friday night in the big town: Skatetown, Redman, and Eddie Money

Well, here we are, readers. It’s September 21, and I can’t figure out where the month has gone. On Saturday at 2:49 PM it will officially be fall, and I’m sure the Wiccans have some great parties planned for that equinox. But the real takeaway is that boot weather is almost here. All the ladies know what I’m talking about. And on Saturday I’ll be starting the one month countdown until my birthday, the one day a year where I can get ridiculously drunk and people still give me crap for it, just not as much as they do for a normal drunken episode.

Anyway, here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.

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September 22: The Movie Clubbed 2: Skatetown, USA

Not to disrespect the dead, y’all, but why was it that Patrick Swayze seemed to spend a lot of his onscreen time proving his masculinity in incredibly feminine ways? When homeboy wasn’t dancing, apparently he was spinning his wheels at Skatetown, USA, which isn’t an actual municipality by any means. It is however, the hardest part about telling your parents your gay—you know, that you like to roller skate while wearing a vest with no shirt underneath it.

So, if you like terrible movies and funny people making fun of them, get yourself to the Oklahoma City Museum of Art. There looks to be a lot of skate-dancing, twirling, skimpy costumes for both the guys and gals, and if you watch the whole preview, there’s a dude with a glittery beard, most likely because he just motorboated a stripper. But I don’t know much about the movie. Let the Movie Clubbed school you on it instead.

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Mary Fallin’s Twitter account was hacked…

Mary Fallin has been accused of a lot of things. Being smart is not one of them. Therefore, it’s no surprise that the Governor’s official Twitter account was hacked last night by what appears to be a really strange man or vengeful 9-year old girl. Here are screen shots of the four Tweets:

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Top 10 tired and overused storylines about OU football

This Saturday, OU will finally play a real football team when Kansas State visits Gaylord Family are Assholes Memorial Stadium. Kansas State is apparently a good football team. They have a great coach, a good quarterback and have beaten three bad football teams. This has earned them a 15-ranking in the AP poll, which is determined by the same panel of drunken sportswriters who think that OU is the 6th best team in the country.

Anyway, this Top 20 match-up has regurgitated the same old boring, stale and tired discussion that OU fans sucks, don’t cheer at games and are pompous entitled assholes (only two are true). Bob Stoops served as the catalyst for the discussion when he hinted that the fans need to be loud for the K-state game during his weekly press conference.

Cue Berry Tramel column in 3…2…1:

Big game Saturday at Owen Field, and you don’t have to check the rankings or gauge ESPN mentions or take R.J. Washington’s blood pressure.

Just listen to Bob Stoops nudge OU fans to get rowdy.

Stoops hasn’t called out the Sooner crowd — he’s still smarting from four years ago — but Monday he dropped a subtle hint that it’s all hands on deck when Kansas State comes to town.

“I’m sure we’ll have a great crowd,” Stoops said. “Everybody’s anticipating the opening of the Big 12 season, so hopefully our crowd will engage and be a factor.”

Stoops doesn’t trot that out for Florida A&M or Iowa State. He saves it for games like second-ranked Texas Tech in 2008 and K-State this weekend.

Stoops this week wanted no part of a repeat exhortation. “People got pretty sore at me,” he said of his 2008 declaration. “I can’t say that I heard anything. Just seemed that way.”

Sore? Don’t you love it when Stoops talks like Beaver Cleaver. Besides, why not call out the fans again? No one in human history ever got so much mileage out of a request.

“I don’t need to comment on that,” Stoops said. “You guys are at every game. You can see whether they’re raucous or not. So you call it as you see it. You can refer to 2008 if you want.”

OK. Consider it done.

So do the OU fans get a bad rap? I’d say so. I don’t think the Sooners have the most electric atmosphere in college football, but I also don’t think it’s stale.

I’ve been to games at Tennessee and Oregon, Alabama and Nebraska, Texas A&M and Georgia, Notre Dame and Texas. Owen Field ranks somewhere in the middle of that pack. Tennessee’s probably the best I’ve experienced, and I wasn’t even there for a big game (OSU 1995, the Cowboys stunk).

The OU crowd gets juiced for big games, and who cares about little games?

First of all, let me say that I agree with Berry Trammel. OU fans do get a bad rap. Outside of the SEC, the 80,000+ fans huddled around Owen Field have the same game day energy of any other fan base. The get loud and cheer at the games that require it (Nebraska 2000, Alabama 2002, Missouri 2007, Texas Tech 2008, most Bedlam games) and set on their seat and leave early for the games that deserve it (just about any other game played in Norman since 1999). Also, they have the disadvantage of playing their biggest rival each year in Dallas.

Anyway, this whole debate about the OU fan base comes up every time the Sooners play a Top 20 team at home. It got me thinking about some of the other overused, redundant and tired storylines about OU football. You know, the ones that come up every couple of years, dominate newspaper columns, sports talk shows and message boards for a few weeks, and then fade away into oblivion until some team, press conference comment or Boomer Trammel column bring them up again.

Here’s my Top 10:

10. Players on Twitter

This is relatively new phenomenon, but the Oklahoman sports department loves to explore the topic about once per quarter. In fact, I think it’s a requirement that each new OU beat writer — they seem to hire a new one once every six months — has to write about some OU football player posting something stupid on Twitter.

9. Line Woes
Did you hear that another lineman got injured? Were you aware that some guy got homesick and moved back to Illinois? If not, then you don’t follow the OU football program. Each spring and fall, you’re pretty much guaranteed that one offense lineman will hurt his knee or back, and that another one will transfer to some other school. I don’t know if it’s like that for other programs, but for OU it seems to be a time-honored tradition.

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