Hey y’all. And can I just say holy eff March is already over? What the hell happened there? Seriously, 2013 is shaping up to be the fastest year ever, which means that the world is totally rotating faster than it used to, probably because of global warming. But none of that’s important. Because today is Good Friday. It’s not so good as Better Friday, and even less good than Best Friday. But it’s good, and sometimes you just have to take what you can get.
Anyway, here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town!
Did you know that food tastes better when it’s prepared in an automobile? It’s an indisputable fact. Think about it. The fair—all food is prepared in mobile trailer sorts of things and smells vaguely of the diesel that fuels them. Now just imagine how good that food would taste if it were prepared in a truck. Aw yes. And what if those food trucks were Heo’s Kitchen, MotoChef, Off the Hook Seafood and More, Roxy’s Ice Cream Social and so many more.
The H&8th Night Market is a celebration of mobile culinary creativity that takes place in front of Elemental Coffee. It’s free to attend, and there will be some live music as well. You can see some Spy DJs inside Elemental Coffee throughout the evening. And Coop Ale Works will be your local, friendly, beer provider for the night.
Well, readers, it may be spring here in OKC, but winter is definitely coming. On March 31, my life will soon have meaning again. I’ve never been so glad about my parents paying for like 900 channels worth of nonsense as when HBO introduced the HBOGO app. With my mom’s password, I have access to a world of magic, intrigue, betrayal, and lots of boobs. If you haven’t caught on yet, readers, I’m talking about Game of Thrones.
Season 3 will begin at the end of this month, and we will all, once again, be enthralled by a fantasy world. Will Arya make it home? Will Theon Greyjoy quit being a jackwagon already? Will someone please beat the everloving hell out of Joffrey? Who knows! (If you’ve read the books and you spoil this for me, I will George R.R. Martin you so fast—that’s code for kill you off).
Anyway, in anticipation for Sunday’s premier, Patrick and I decided to come up with a list of Oklahoman’s we’d cast as some of our favorite Game of Thrones characters. Let’s begin with the good guys, or at least who we think are the good guys, the lovable Starks:
Catelyn Stark / The Pioneer Woman
Who better to be wife and mother of the Stark clan than the Pioneer Woman? She has experience cooking, cleaning, ranching and home schooling her children all by herself…and with a little help of an army of servants, tutors and ghostwriters. - Marisa
Does this mean the Marlboro Man will get his head chopped off? - Patrick
Arya Stark / Young Emily Sutton
Emily is everyone’s favorite and can put up a mean fight when need be. – Marisa
Dreams do come true! – Patrick
The Sweet 16 comes to a close today with match-ups from the West Region. One of the games involves Kevin Durant battling a missing kangaroo. That should have been the plot to Thunderstruck.
Here are the match ups!
(1) Kevin Durant vs. (12) Lucy Sparkles
(2) Kristin Chenoweth (3) Bibi Jones
A basketball player, a singing actress, a porn “star” and a dead kangaroo all walk into a bar. You figure out the rest.
Back in December, we announced that we were taking a ride on the Mary Fallin Open Records Bandwagon. We, like other media organizations, simply wanted to view emails (a.k.a. public information) from the Governor’s office that would shed some light on Mary Fallin’s decision to not accept federal healthcare funding; emails the Governor’s office refused to release.
In my post, I highlighted five reasons why we filed the request. These were the final three:
3. “Wait a second. You all don’t even claim to be ‘real’ journalists. Why are you doing all this?” Because someone has to. Some of the larger media outlets in our state, especially ones with conservative agendas like the Oklahoman and News 9, probably have too much to lose by taking on the Governor’s office in the courts. For smaller outlets, suing the Governor’s office to release the information may be cost prohibitive. Since we have a) nothing to lose and b) the legal backing of the ACLU, we’re the ideal outlet for this type of action.
4. Hopefully, though, it doesn’t get to that point. Once again, if any of our requests are denied, we’re taking this to the courts. And according to just about every lawyer or media law expert out there, we’re likely going to win. The Governor’s office can save everyone a bunch of time and hassle by releasing the records.
5. Like that’s going to happen. Logic and reason have never been Mary Fallin’s strong point.
Since that post was published, a lot of people have asked me for an update. “Have you got the records yet?” “Are you going to sue her?” “Has your hair turned pink?” Unless I was speaking to a drunk girl at the bar, I couldn’t really tell them anything. And if it was a drunk girl, I’d just lie about sneaking into the Governor’s Mansion and breaking into the open records vault like a spy and dodging laser beams and all that stuff. That’s because there was really nothing to report. We were getting the runaround. Dealing with the Governor on this thing has been more frustrating than collecting Fantasy Football money. We’d call. They’d say it would be a few weeks. We’d call. They’d send us to voicemail, etc. It was like they were hoping we’d forget the whole thing.
Well, we haven’t. In fact, we’re almost to the point of taking legal action. Here’s a press release that was issued yesterday by our legal team at the Oklahoma ACLU. They’ve done a lot of work on this and have guided us through this complicated and tiring process. Plus, they’ve actually found the Governor’s office to be in violation of other areas of open records law:
(Editor’s Note: This is part of a special nonrecurring feature called TV Thursday. Later today Marisa and I will have up a post about Game of Thrones. How topical! Go Pop Culture!)
Hey all, Carney here again. I’ve been with The Walking Dead ever since Rick put a slug in the festering skull of the girl who just wanted to show him her teddy bear. It’s become a Sunday evening tradition in my household and it looks like it’ll stay that way for a long time thanks to the show’s enormous, highly marketable audience, in spite of all the brain-dead lurches in the scripting, dialogue, and character development departments (I’m looking at you, Season Two: Herschel’s Boring Farmhouse). The way I see it, even when the storytelling flatlines there’s still intrinsic value in watching a pair of hillbillies dispatch staggering monsters with a crossbow and a mechanical knife-wielding stump.* I got time fo’ dat!
So in honor of the AMC apocalypse drama’s third season finale, Patrick suggested I weigh a handful of Oklahoma Cityans’ odds of survival when the world starts doing the Zombie Shuffle. Here’s to hoping that nobody takes this too seriously. Also, please be warned that a few mild spoilers follow.
The Oklahoma City Thunder**
Nick Collison’s already tackled this pressing issue in his GQ blogging, but he’s a little bit more optimistic about his and his teammates’ odds against the undead than I am. Zombie dodging is a nimble, wiry person’s game and something just tells me that Nick’s on-court instincts are going to kick in, prompting him to set a pick for Russ or Kevin Martin to slip a listless, shuffling double-team. The problem with setting a screen on a zombie isn’t unlike setting a pick on Metta World Peace in that you run the risk of something insane and violent happening to your face.
Unfortunately Nick would be one of the soonest to go, right along with the other bigs***. When you’re that tall, hiding from walkers becomes an ordeal. Had the Thunder been playing on the road in Atlanta and wound up with the Grimes crew when the outbreak hit, I imagine that pack of zombies in the premiere of season two would’ve done most of them in. Also, sorry Kevin Durant, but your comically long arms and legs that create mismatches on the hardwood are just more real estate for a biter to latch on to when the end of the world comes.
The Grantland dudes all agreed that Russ has pretty good odds of survival though. I think his adamantium frame and apparent resistance to infectious disease ought to serve him well. Heck, it’s probably worth asking here: Can a guy who hasn’t in his life sat out from a game of basketball due to injury or sickness even contract the zombie virus? Maybe in this Thunder-centric TWD reality they’ll rebuild the Center for Disease Control and figure out how to synthesize Russ’s blood into a cure for all mankind, making him the new savior of the human race.
Estimated survival time after outbreak: Russell Westbrook: Until humanity is restored. Rest of team: Three weeks.
Thanks! Your message has been sent!