The Lost Ogle

Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Oglebating: Truck Nuts, Yes or No?

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It’s that time again, readers, when we tackle the tough questions that other blogs are too scared to touch. Last time you decided overwhelmingly that you preferred Bob Mills to the Mathis Brothers, most likely because you are responsible hamster owners. This week, we take on the question that no one else has the balls to debate. Truck nuts: yes or no?

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The Thunder’s Biggest Obstacle

Who has two thumbs and owns the Thunder?

The NBA season that almost wasn’t will soon be the NBA season that just ended. Oklahoma City has played 57 of the scheduled 66 games (86%) and has already clinched the Northwest Division along the home court advantage that status guarantees in the first round of the playoffs. If the Thunder get some combination of wins or Laker losses that sum up to two over the next three weeks, they will also be assured more home games in the event of advancing to the second round. That seems pretty likely.

Thanks to an incredible hot streak by the San Antonio Spurs and the Thunder’s first three game slide of the season, the status of best record in the Western Conference is suddenly a toss-up. As of this morning, OKC has a one game advantage over the Spurs (who have played two fewer games). San Antonio only has to aim for a tie, however, because they won the regular season series with the Thunder (2-1). Of course, of the other teams who might face the Thunder in the post season, San Antonio is the team they most need the advantage of playing at home against.

Even that may not be enough. Over the past two season, the Thunder have won only once in six games versus the Spurs. In several of those, the outcome was never in doubt. Despite the Spurs historical success, it is surprising that the Thunder have struggled so much against them. From a match-up standpoint, one might expect Oklahoma City to be the dominant team.

San Antonio puts a similar line-up on the floor. Tony Parker and Russell Westbrook are basically the same player and should theoretically cancel each other out. Each team has a future hall of famer in Tim Duncan and Kevin Durant. They both even have a spark plug sixth man who most other teams would build their team around. The difference is that the Spurs players are so old their coach strategically rests them rather than risk injuring his decaying stars.

Yet, with the advantage of young legs, the Thunder fail to make these head-to-head games competitive. Why?

For someone who always gets the benefit of the doubt from the refs, Tim Duncan sure thinks he's always being screwed.

Tim Duncan terrifies the big men

Remember that ABC game of the week where the Thunder annihilated the Miami Heat at home. In that game, the Heat attempted to take Kevin Durant out of the game by sending extra defenders at him whenever he touched the ball. To combat that, Durant zinged passes inside to Kendrick Perkins and Serge Ibaka who were wide open for easy dunks.

Technically, this should work in most games because most teams give extra attention to Durant. The reason it worked so well against Miami is that those two guys caught the ball. Later in the week, the Thunder played Miami on the road and those two fumbled easy passes out of bounds. Miami won that time.

Against San Antonio, this problem always occurs. The reason is most likely the presence of Tim Duncan. He looms around just enough that Ibaka and Perkins are always thinking about him swatting their shot. The numbers back this up. When Duncan is on the floor against OKC, the team shoots a measly 46% in the restricted area (meaning dunk and lay-up attempts). This is below their season average of 52%, but even worse is that when Duncan is on the bench and they are playing San Antonio, they team shoots 74% from that range. My guess is that the variance is caused by the players being too distracted by Duncan’s whining at the referees to finish their dunk.

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BiBi Jones is “in a relationship”

Here’s some sad news for all you lonely perverts out there. Thanks to a tip via the Ogle Mole Network, we have learned that porn superstar, Penthouse cover model and 2009 Westmoore High School graduate BiBi Jones (real name: Britney Maclin) has a boyfriend. We know this because she’s changed her Facebook status to “In a Relationship.”

Here are a couple of pictures of BiBi with her boyfriend:

Is it just me, but are those pictures kind of funny. BiBi looks all happy and in love, while the uncomfortable expression on the dude’s face says “I’m in a relationship…with a porn star…and not sure what to think about it.”

Seriously, who would want to date a porn star like BiBi Jones? Sure, she’s hot, has large breasts and is bisexual, but she’s had more sexual partners than Dean Blevins, Mary Fallin and the Ogle brothers combined! And not only does she dance at a strip club and do porn, but if you remember correctly, Gaylord Sports Management allegedly used BiBi to land clients. Hell, I wouldn’t touch her with Van Shea Iven’s vagina.

Also, is a porn star even allowed to be “In a Relationship” on Facebook? That makes as much sense as Jim Traber “Liking” vegetarian food or logic. BiBi should probably have chosen “It’s Complicated” instead, because when you have sex with other guys and girls for a living, “It’s Complicated” is probably the perfect relationship status for you. At least until Zuckerberg creates one that says “Probably Has Incurable Diseases.”

Anyway, here are a few more pictures of BiBi and her boyfriend if you care to look at them:

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10 holistic parenting tips for Oklahomans

Remember “Blossom?” Sure you do!  It ran for five seasons on NBC and taught us about family values, bad hairstyles and the all-important catchphrase. The sitcom starred Mayim Bialik. She’s the girl who makes Sarah Jessica Parker look like Kate Upton’s horse. That’s a compliment.

Blossom…I mean Mayim…has written a book on holistic parenting and is all over it!

Bialik’s the author of a new book, “Beyond the Sling: A Real-Life Guide to Raising Confident, Loving Children the Attachment Parenting Way.”

In the book, Bialik sheds light on her unconventional philosophies and practical experiences as a parent using a holistic and gentle approach to parenting.

“Attachment parenting,” a style of child rearing made famous by Dr. William Sears, includes natural birth, breast-feeding, sleeping with your children, wearing your babies in slings and gentle forms of potty training and discipline.

“When we treat our children kindly and expect love and give love, we hopefully are raising children that then expect that and give that to the world around them,” Bialik said in a recent phone interview. “It is very consistent with a ‘green’ style of parenting.”

Since this type of “parenting” isn’t in the Bible, I don’t subscribe to it.  Well, that and the convenient fact that I don’t have kids. But I would like to offer some other “Holistic” parenting tips more suitable to the Oklahoma way of life.

Join me after the jump!

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Eight things I like about Tulsa

It was a somber weekend in Tulsa. As I’m sure you’ve heard, some crazy bastards went on a serial shooting spree in North Tulsa. Bigotry and violence aren’t exactly things my fellow Tulsans are proud to receive national attention for, but unfortunately this isn’t Tulsa’s first run-in with race-related tragedy. 1921′s Race Riots left dozens dead, hundreds injured, and thousands homeless.

It was a woeful holiday in Tulsa indeed, but I know you didn’t visit TLO because you wanted to feel bummed out. That’s why I’ve made a list of some of my favorite things about Tulsa. If any of you big city dwellers want to hate, for this week only, it means you are an angry, soulless freak.
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