Yes, just when you thought it was safe to start reading the Oklahoman sports page again, Jenni Carlson has returned from maternity leave. We, just like anyone else who can read and/or has an IQ above 80, were hoping that Jenni would stay at home and become a mommy blogger and share confusing and poorly written meatloaf recipes with us, but no, she returned. And boy, she returned with a vengeance.
It started with this article about her pregnancy, motherhood and how she interpreted Russell Westbrook’s request for her leave the Thunder locker room as some sort of ruse. The article was just like 99% of Jenni’s other columns that you accidentally stumble upon when reading NewsOK on a Sunday morning. It was boring, meandering and stale, and a big reason why I stopped regularly reading her mundane drivel about 10-years ago.
But Jenni didn’t stop there. In what can only be construed as an effort to remind unassuming readers (and depressed unemployed journalists) that she still has a paying job with the 51st largest newspaper in the United States, she decided to give her thoughts on the awesome picture of James Harden that’s been circulating around the internet. You know, that one where he’s shirtless on yacht, surrounded by beautiful women, and wearing a cowboy hat while drinking a bottle of booze:
Oklahoma is known for a lot of things across the country. Our amazing basketball team, our amazing college football teams and our insane natural disasters. For a state so gung-ho for Jesus, He doesn’t seem to show us much leniency in the natural disaster department. I blame Sally Kern.
So vote now and let your voice be heard! We managed to write a post that is free of Wayne Coyne commentary. This insures the Wayneiacs won’t clog the comment section with tons of supportive comments. It’s all going to be ok. Now go vote for things that are naturally awful!
Good morning kids.
I’m writing this at 3:10am. Originally, this was going to be a post about Jenni Carlson, but thanks to some “technical difficulties,” like half of the post disappearing or not saving, I’m writing about this cool song by Ali Harter instead. It’s called “The Great State of Oklahoma.” In it, she references the Gary England Drinking Game and Mike Morgan’s Bedazzled Severe Weather Tie.
Check it out:
Back in 2008, we wrote about former KTUL Channel 8 (Tulsa) news reporter Jerry Giordano. We did this because one night he got drunk, wrecked his car, fled the scene, and then shit his pants. And he did it all while wearing a dapper blue tanktop! Total TLO material, right?
Despite the negative publicity, Mr. Giordano wasn’t fired by KTUL. In fact, they kept him on for another couple of years. He finally left in 2010 to either sell real estate for Coldwell Banker or just do a bunch of meth. We’re not sure which one. From the Tulsa World:
A former Tulsa television news anchorman was arrested Monday after police found a substance in his vehicle that is believed to be meth, an arrest report states.
Jerry Giordano, 50, who left his longtime position at KTUL, channel 8, in 2010, was pulled over about 11:40 p.m. Sunday in a pickup that contained two bags of a “crystalline substance” and another “large rock” of the substance, the report says.
Police stopped the 1990 Ford F-150 on Harvard Avenue just north of 41st Street after noticing an expired license tag, according to the report. Giordano also had no insurance, so police called for a wrecker and searched the pickup, the report says.
A small bag of the substance was in the driver’s seat, along with another bag in a driver-side door panel and the rock in the driver-side door handle, according to the report.
The substance in the bag on the driver’s seat tested “presumptive positive” for methamphetamine, the report says.
Giordano was arrested and booked into the Tulsa Jail on a complaint of drug possession, records show. He was released on $2,500 bond.
That’s sad, but on a positive note, at least he didn’t shit his pants! Or maybe he changed his diaper. Who knows.
Also, his new mug shot is much more frightening than the one from 2008. Thanks to that weird little smirk and blue tank top, he kind of looked like a whimsical Canadian. This time around he looks like a guy who eats whimsical Canadians (or small children and puppies) for breakfast…or a meth addict who’s watching his career disintegrate before his eyes.
Anyway, hopefully Jerry Giordano doesn’t threaten to sue us for writing about his illegal behavior. He’s done it before. Check out this email he sent to us and the Irritated Tulsan back in 2010:
Joel didn’t want to write this one. This is because he’s lazy, probably drunk off Chimay and knows every single nominee in this category. Therefore, I’m stuck doing it.
Anyway, voting for a worst Morning Radio Team is kind of like voting for your favorite MTV show or brand of black licorice. They all suck. Good luck.
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