The song “Thrift Shop” by
Snow noted whiny ass Macklemore was the number one song in April 2013. So take that as a lesson, aspiring musicians. If you write a shitty song about thrift shops you too can be a one hit wonder in his 30’s who is already a pop culture punch line. Keep at it! Oh, talent not needed by the way. Probably should have mentioned that.
Vote for your favorite April story!
The Devon Tower is growing some balls.
After what seems like years of waiting, rumors, and lurid Steve Lackmeyer wet dreams, details of the new mysterious downtown tower have been released.
The 14 – 16 story building will be the new home of OG&E Energy. You know, that ultra-powerful legal corporate monopoly that can cut off your power in the middle of the day without any sort of notice because your online payment didn’t go through, and then not have to worry about the repercussions of that act because you, the consumer, can’t chose a different electric company to do business with. Yeah, those assholes. The same ones who have corporation commissioners in their pockets, long hold times, flippant customer services representatives that don’t seem to care about your problems, and a goddamn computer that takes six hours to restore power to your home via a “smart meter.”
Sorry, got a little sidetracked.
A fun fact about me is that I was raised on quotes from The Godfather I and II. Rather than rely on Sesame Street or Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood to illustrate the important moral lessons, I was taught to never take sides against the family, and to leave the gun and take the cannolis. My parents also think it’s funny to address my Christmas gifts to “Fredo.” So, whether it’s The Godfather or Goodfellas or Boardwalk Empire–I love me some organized crime in my entertainment. Would I like to encounter organized crime in real life? No. Absolutely not. But that might be about to change.
From the most trusted name in news, Buzzfeed:
The Incredible Burt Wonderstone came out in March. That is Jim Carrey’s most forgettable movie until the Dumb & Dumber sequel comes out next year. Trust me. That thing is gonna be almost as bad as the new Anchorman. You’ll see. Oh, you’ll see.
Here’s the top TLO stories for March 2013! We’ll try not to mention Emily Sutton this time around. Dammit. Too late.
Don’t forget to vote for your favorite!
Back in October, Mary Fallin launched her 2014 re-election campaign. Here were my Oglestradamus’ish thoughts at the time:
Does it really matter? This lady’s going to win. She knows it, we know it, they know it and you know it. She could cuss out Andrew Speno, dye her hair pink and get caught doing coke with Wayne Coyne in the Blue Note bathroom and still coast to an easy victory. The only way she loses this thing is if zombies take over the world. Actually, that probably wouldn’t even matter. Zombies love Mary Fallin…
This is shaping up to be the most boring gubernatorial election since 1998 when Keating defeated Denise Boyd. At least I think that’s who it was. I’m too lazy to look it up. The last few elections haven’t been very close, but at least they had established name candidates in Jari Askins and Ernest Istook. The Democratic field is so weak this year that Joe Dorman could throw his hat into the ring (just kidding, we know he wouldn’t take off his hat) and he’d probably win the Democratic nomination. That wouldn’t be too bad. At least we’d get a couple of Joleen Chaney watermelon pics.
I guess it’s time to arm the watermelons. Joe Dorman has taken the first big step towards a 2014 gubernatorial run. He’s asked Kera Philippi to recruit an all female force of elite state troopers to be his bodyguards. He’s also formed an exploratory committee.
From a Joe Dorman press release:
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