In the seventh grade, my science teacher had a chinchilla in her classroom that you could take home on the weekends if you signed up to do so. Everyone was pretty keen on it, what with us being super nerds and not the cool sort of 13-year olds who were smoking pot. One weekend, the major booger eater in our grade took the chinchilla home and when she brought it back, it was dead. Some of the girls cried about it, and many accused the booger eater of killing it (the suspected murder weapon was boogers, which is probably not a very good way to kill a chinchilla). Our science teacher ruled it as old age, and there was no more classroom pet. Because of that experience, I now associate chinchillas with foul play, regardless of the cause of death for that particular creature.
And it would seem that the fine folks at the GW Interactive Zoological Park in Wynnewood probably now associate chinchillas with foul play too. According to a story on KFOR.com:
Remember when the lovable and cuddly kangaroo Lucy Sparkles went missing outside Shawnee? If you thought that story was a roller-coaster of emotions, buckle up! There is another exotic pet from Shawnee that has gone missing. His name is Speedy:
A Shawnee family is desperately searching for their missing pet, a 25-pound tortoise.
The exotic reptile disappeared in June and the search is becoming exhausting.
Cassidy Graham said her tortoise Speedy loves people and craves attention.
“He likes to have his shell scratched,” Graham said. “He will actually dance back and forth. He’ll either move his bottom back and forth or he’ll stand up real tall on his front legs and move his front back and forth.”
“Speedy?” I get it. It’s like one of those names that’s the opposite of the animals characteristics. It’s like naming your dog, “Doctor Fluffypuss.” I mean, it’s cute, but we all know that dog didn’t go to medical school. Other examples include naming a pig “Un-tasty” or a cat “Obedient.”
The first question I have is how do you lose a tortoise? It’s kind of like losing your remote control. It can’t get very far. My second question is why do you own a free-range tortoise? How about a dog, cat or wild kangaroo? I know some people will say owning a strange pet is a Shawnee thing, but I grew up in the town and didn’t know anyone with exotic pets. Sure, there was a guy I knew who had rats, but it’s not an exotic pet if you can find it in a Mexican restaurant.
Anyway, Speedy’s irresponsible owner has a theory about how and why the tortoise disappeared. I wonder if it has anything to do with pizza and/or martial arts training:
The Oklahoman’s Heather Warlick copied and pasted a local casting call on her NewsOK.com gossip blog yesterday. It’s for a movie called “Light in the Darkroom,” which I think is also code for “Sally Kern’s got an idea.”
From the casting call:
Latinos, Asians, African-Americans and Native Americans are needed over the next several days to appear as extras in the feature film LIGHT FROM THE DARKROOM. Filming is in Oklahoma City.
This is just another example of reverse racism. Remember back when white actors could play the roles of minorities? According to my grandfather, those sure were the good old days. Now I can’t even sign-up to be an extra in a locally produced movie. Thanks for ruining that for us C. Thomas Howell.
I’m not going to complain too much, though. The cool thing about a movie being made in OKC is that we get to see Instagram pics of celebs dining at Republic. Here’s the A-list class of actors:
Warm up the cocoa. Check your tire tread. Hide your gardening clogs.
We’ve received several emails from Ogle Moles claiming that former KFOR meteorologist and hero Jonathan “Iceman” Condor is coming back to Oklahoma City. He will apparently be replacing Rusty McRanie as the new morning meteorologist for KOCO Channel 5.
We reached out to Jonathan to see what he had to say his return. He sent us this video:
Hehe! He said bitch.
You may remember Jonathan is the meteorologist who had the glorious on-air meltdown during the 2009 Christmas Blizzard, or as we now call it, the Christmas Blizzard that actually happened. During the event, he turned into a St. Bernard and patrolled N. Western saving, rescuing and lecturing stranded motorists about proper winter weather driving techniques and footwear. “J.C.” suffered from PTSD following the ordeal and let Lance West know about it.
Here’s the clip.
Mike Reynolds is back at it.
The state capitol’s most vocal troll, rules follower and leader of the curmudgeon caucus is once again picking fights with the leadership of his own party. This time he’s going against Oklahoma GOP golden boy, socks boycotter and Speaker of the House T.W. Shannon.
From The Tulsa World:
A Republican House member has created a website that criticizes House Speaker T.W. Shannon.
A note on the website www.shannonforcongress.com states that Rep. Mike Reynolds, R-Oklahoma City, provided the information for the site “to allow the public to be fully informed.”
Reynolds said the website was made public this week.
The content is intended to show that Shannon is not qualified to be in Congress or be the speaker of the state House of Representatives, said Reynolds, a vocal critic of House Republican leaders.
Reynolds said Shannon has indicated to him that he will seek higher office, but Shannon has not announced plans to run for another office.
“My intent is to hold people that want to represent me accountable,” Reynolds said.
The website questions Shannon’s official biography, legislative record, work history and homeownership, among other things.
Here’s a link to the site. It looks like it was designed with an HTML editor by a man wearing a tin foil hat (a.k.a. Mike Reynolds). Through the use of public records, the site compiles, outlines and questions T.W. Shannon’s biography and qualifications. Basically, it attempts to paint him as an unqualified political opportunist with a questionable background.
And it almost works.
Mike does provide some dirt on Shannon that seems somewhat suspicious, but he doesn’t put it in any scope or context. Plus, he overshadows everything by tying it to the race card. It makes him look like the bigoted angry uncle on Facebook that he probably already is.
From the first paragraph of the ShannonForCongress.com:
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