The Lost Ogle

Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

How to carve a pumpkin when you’re high on meth…

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. Free candy from strangers, poor kids being bused into affluent neighborhoods for handouts, drunk girls dressing in skimpy outfits – it’s everything that is wrong with society being celebrated in one night. And I love it! One of the traditions I love most about Halloween is the carving of pumpkins. You can put in a lot of hard work to make a masterpiece that will either be smashed by some asshat teenagers or will slowly rot on your front porch.

You’ve probably already seen pumpkin patches popping up around town. If those patches are at a Methodist church, those pumpkins probably came from New Mexico.


NORMAN — It’s pumpkin time again, with an ample crop available this year for decorating or eating.

The annual Pumpkin Patch at McFarlin Memorial United Methodist Church, 419 S University Blvd., offers a bountiful selection of orange, as well as white, pumpkins in all shapes and sizes.

The pumpkins, which range in price from $1 to $25, are grown on American Indian land in New Mexico and sold predominantly to United Methodist churches.

Open from 9:30 a.m. until dark Mondays through Saturdays, the sale will continue throughout October, with proceeds benefiting the church’s music programs.

So Breaking Bad goes off the air and suddenly Oklahoma gets a shipment of pumpkins from New Mexico to be sold at METHodist churches. Seems fishy to me. And why can’t we grow our own pumpkins in Oklahoma? These damn new MEXICANS are taking our pumpkin growing jobs!

Remember how Gus would ship his meth in the El Pollos Hermanos fried chicken batter? Maybe this is the new delivery method. Pumpkin flavored meth, white girls would love it!

If these pumpkins are really just vehicles for meth from the New Mexican drug trade, I would like to share with you some ideas, tips and tricks to have the best pumpkin experience this season while you’re on a four-day bender.

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Thabo Sefolosha shared a domestic violence joke on Twitter…

so6i thabo

If you play basketball for the Oklahoma City Thunder, this is probably the worst time of the year to tweet a joke about domestic violence. And no, that’s not just because October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

Back in September, everyone’s favorite hardworking benchwarmer, Deandre Liggins, was charged with nine felonies following an alleged assault on his girlfriend. The charges included two counts of kidnapping, two counts of domestic assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, three counts of domestic abuse in the presence of a minor, and one count of violating a protective order. He was released by the Thunder on September 6th.

Nearly one month later, slowest man in the universe nominee, Kendrick Perkins, was hit with misdemeanor assault charges. They stemmed from a July incident where Perkins allegedly punched a woman and her brother outside a Houston nightclub. According to Ogle Moles, that’s illegal. So far, Perk is still on the team. This probably means there’s either a little more to the story, or that Kendrick Perkins really does have pics of Sam Presti, Scott Brooks and Rumble snorting blow while herding goats in the mountains of Wyoming.

Knowing about all those very public and recent incidents, you would think that everyone in the Thunder organization would be wary about discussing the topic of domestic violence. Not that it’s something that shouldn’t be discussed, but it’s a sensitive topic and the last thing you want to do is come across as – or even be – some naive or flippant asswhipe who doesn’t take the issue seriously.

For example, you don’t want to pull a Thabo Sefolosha and make jokes like this on Twitter:

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KFOR wants you to be afraid of Krokodil and / or Crocodiles…


It looks like the national media has found a new dangerous illegal street drug to drive hysteria, fear, and television ratings and web traffic. This time around, the drug’s name is Krokodil. Apparently, using the heroin knockoff will cause your body to either melt or be turned inside out and explode like that creature from Galaxy Quest. Yes, Galaxy Quest. What can I say, it was a long weekend.

Not wanting to be left out of the trend to over -hype a new drug and worry parents, old people and church pastors, KFOR Channel 4 posted to its Facebook Wall a link to a story on its own website that simply quotes and links to a CNN article about the drug. How would the KFOR social media gurus sensationalize the story? Would they warn that Oklahoma teens are trying the drugs while taking bath salts or dropping vodka in their eyeballs?

No, that’s too easy. They got all creative and went the crocodile – zombie route:

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College Football Musings from the Train: OU / Texas Meltdown


I would guess a plethora of non-OU fans are giddy to read my take on Saturday’s Red River Rivalry Bullshit.

It is my pleasure to oblige.

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Monday Morning Tweets: Emily Sutton’s Dog Is Better Than Yours

What a long strange week it’s been, eh? There were layoffs, losses, and Nobel Prizes. We aren’t going to cover any of that Nobel business in your Monday Morning Tweets. Who cares about humans achieving great things and being recognized for it when you have some people that have done silly things on Twitter? We have priorities. As always, I’ve grabbed all the good ones and compiled them here for you. And, as always, these tweets are right here after the jump!

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