For the past few weeks, the map below has made the rounds on the Internet. It identifies where the most Craigslist Missed Connections occur in each state:
When I first saw the graphic, I was a bit embarrassed. The state fair, really? Why can’t we be normal and have missed connections at Walmart? The State Fair runs for a couple of weeks. Walmart is open for about 8,750 hours a year. Seriously, I can only imagine how awful some of the State Fair missed connections could be. Here are some guesses:
- M4F: You were drunk and eating a corn dog on stage. You called for Jeff, but he didn’t come. I’ll take care of you.
– F4M: You had a snake in your pants in the newest iPhone. Your sideburns make me all hot and bothered.
– M4M: You chased me out of the bathroom before we could finish. I loved your tattoos. If you’re reading this, email me the color of your boxers so I know its you.
I don’t know if they were that bad, but they could be.
Anyway, this news inspired me to hop on Craigslist yesterday and take a look at some local missed connections. I didn’t see any for the Oklahoma State Fair, probably because it came to a close six months ago, but I did find a bunch of other creepy, gross, weird, sad and pathetic missed connections.
Check them out. All of them are real. Most are spectacular.
When Governor Mary Fallin was elected, she promised to bring
hope and change to the way our state government does business. She started consolidating state offices in the hopes that it would save taxpayer dollars.
That’s something where Mary Fallin and I agree, I’m all for efficient state government and think it should be taken a step farther, we should outsource our legislature. It really upsets me that our representatives and senators make at least $40K for a few months work… and during the months of session, they take Friday off, you know, just like at your job!
So, lets find some organizations that are already in place that we could have come in for a few months and decide our laws:
One of the running jokes at our 51st St. Speakeasy trivia night is my lack of appreciation for “Arrested Development.” This first came to light when a team used a sly reference from the show as a team name. I think they were called “Dr. Fünke’s 100% Natural Good-Time Family Band Solution.” I didn’t understand the reference. After they explained it to me, I said into the mic “Arrested Development sucks.” This led to me being booed off the stage and Spencer openly questioning if I was beaten as a child.
I first watched Arrested Development during the dark ages of 2006. I was married, caught a cold, and rented the first season on DVD from Blockbuster. Yes, Blockbuster. I planned on doing one of those marathons where I watched an entire season while stuck in bed and blowing my nose, but it didn’t work. Maybe it was the DayQuil, but the show just didn’t resonate with me. I watched a couple of episodes, thought it was boring, and returned it a week later and paid $10 in late fees.
Well, we all make mistakes. I’m now proud to say that I’m an Arrested Development convert! I reached a deal this fall with a Level 4 Ogle Groupie that if she watched NFL football with me, I would give Arrested Development a second chance. Outside of buying the naming rights for this website for $20 from Garfield Ogle, the black sheep of the family, it’s one of the greatest deals I’ve ever made. I’m hooked on the show. I’m halfway through Season 2 and it’s already one of my favorite TV comedies ever. It’s not in the Seinfeld / British Office category, but I’d put in the same class as Curb Your Enthusiasm and, uhm, Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Quite a field, huh?
Anyway, the reason I’m admitting this to you is because I like forced segues. You see, Dr. Who is another cult TV show I don’t get. I’d watch the old BBC show in the 1980s with my dad, but that’s when I was five and didn’t know better. I just can’t get into the new one. It’s too corny and weird and the new Dr. Who is way too young and cool. Because of that, I’m not going to join the Dr. Who Club of Altus and help them make a fan film.
Via the Oklahoman:
You probably started doing this as a child at your neighborhood Olive Garden after church with your family. You probably didn’t realize its full potential until college, when recapping the wild antics of the weekend while drinking Bloody Marys was the perfect way to kick-off Sunday Funday. And now, as a contributing member of adult society, it provides an amazing opportunity to gorge yourself both sweet and savory foods, socialize on patios, and sip refreshments on the sabbath day.
My name is Chelsea and I’m a brunchoholic. Hi, Chelsea.
Recently, everyone’s favorite portmanteau dining experience has gotten some bad press. The awfulness of brunch is all that Buzzfeed, HelloGiggles, and the Gloss wants to bitch about. Suddenly, the people who brunch are worse than Kony and fracking and the Jersey Shore combined. Scorned are the innocent people who crave rosemary home fries to cure their hangovers. Brunch, overnight, has become a dangerous public enemy.
I know, I really don’t understand how eggs benedict, waffles, or kobe burgers could be made to look like villains either.
Since the weird brunch haterade our world is drinking certainly cannot be attributed to the delicious food, I’m going to assume that the backlash is directly related to some of the well–other characteristics that television and our smart phones lead us to believe about this meal. I’m here to quell these irrational fears you might have.
(Editor’s Note: In an effort to land our own Food Network Show like the Pioneer Woman, we’re introducing a semi-regular food feature that describes how to make classic Oklahoma food items. It’s kind of a rip-off of DeadSpin’s “Food Spin Series,” only better. The column is written by top-level Ogle Mole and food enthusiast “Oklahoma Fats.” Enjoy.)
So, you want to eat like a real Oklahoman? It’s pretty easy: Mazzio’s delivery line is 799-9999. Get the Traber special.
OK, fine, if you want to learn how to make Oklahoma’s most famous dishes, we can do that, too. Today, we’re making El Reno-style onion burgers.
In El Reno, there are three restaurants that make great onion burgers — Sid’s Diner, Robert’s Grill and Johnnie’s Grill. It’s a magical concoction that shouldn’t seem all that magical. It’s just onions and beef and a bun. But what they do with them…
Here’s what you need to make your own:
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