Earlier this week, Twitter was attacked by a strange hashtag called #OklahomaFolllowTrain. According to this website, the phrase was tweeted about 70,000 times on Sunday and Monday. That number will continue to climb as the hashtag was still trending worldwide as of this morning. If none of that makes any sense, here’s an unrelated and random WTF tweet from Channel 5 to keep you entertained:
Celebrities who are gay http://t.co/KZpVm0BELS
— KOCO-5 Oklahoma City (@koconews) December 2, 2013
The purpose and origin of the #OklahomaFolllowTrain is about as clear as a Jenni Carlson column. More than likely, it was spawned by bored Oklahoma teenagers, college students and /or Abigail Ogle as a way to get new Twitter followers without spending any cash. It could also have been created by Oklahoma State School Superintendent Janet Barresi. That would explain the three Ls in “Folllow.”
Since we’re allegedly the best “person” to follow on social media in Oklahoma City, I decided to get to the “botttom” of this train (heh). So far, I’ve failed miserably. I have no clue what it is or why it’s trending. This is probably because I’m a grown up. After going through awful tweet after awful tweet, this was the only interesting thing I could find:
In Sunday’s Oklahoman, the state’s most trusted newspaper published a sloppy and misinformed expose about how much time state employees spend surfing the internet while at work. The semi-promotional article seemed more like an advertorial paid for by a small government conservative group than an objective and informed news piece written by a respected news organization. Basically, it was typical Oklahoman filler.
State employees really, really like Facebook.
They like Twitter and YouTube, too.
We know because little brother is watching.
Oklahoma’s Cyber Command Security Operations Center’s main job is to protect the state’s computer system from cyber attacks, but security personnel track website visits by employees on the state computer network, as well.
Real quick, can someone inform The Oklahoman that almost every large employer tracks employee web traffic? It’s not a new technology or anything.
Anyway, I already get where this is going. State employees spend too much time on the internet, are generally lazy, waste taxpayers dollars, blah blah blah. That would be news if was just limited to state workers. At last check, employees at every company spend too many unproductive hours on the internet. Hell, you’re probably reading this at work right now instead of answering emails or updating spreadsheets. I guess that’s okay if you work in the private sector.
So, which websites are these lazy state employees visiting? I’m sure it mirrors the Alexa top 10. Google, YouTube, Facebook, Wikipedia, etc:
If I had to rank my favorite things in this world, there’s a good chance that lesbians, marijuana and nunchucks would all make the top 100. That means I have a lot in common with both you and Lisa Arlene Ward (pictured above). Lisa was sent to jail after she attacked her girlfriend’s “friend” with nunchucks.
An Oklahoma City woman was being held in the Oklahoma County jail Monday after being accused of attacking another woman with nunchucks, police reported.
Lisa Arlene Ward, 47, was arrested Sunday on complaints of assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, possession of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia. She was also arrested on a Cleveland County warrant of failure to appear.
So, how did all this happen? Did the other woman use a Bo staff as self-defense? Were Chinese stars involved? Did they hug it out and eat some pizza with a gigantic mutant rat afterwards?
Here are the details:
Maggie Stokes, the cheery face of the KOCO Channel 5 morning show and 9th hottest woman in the Oklahoma City news media, worked her last day on Friday. She is moving to Florida to swim with dolphins, eat oranges and post annoying Facebook statuses about nice weather. She’s also marrying some dude. Good luck to her.
Maggie’s departure means we’ve now lost four ladies from our 2013 list of the 20 Hottest Women in the Oklahoma City News Media. That thing is crumbling apart worse than our state capitol. At this rate, Van Shea Iven may make our 2014 list, and this time around, it will be for real.
Anyway, I thought I’d use Maggie’s departure as an excuse to take a look back at the 2013 rankings. Here we go:
Happy first Monday in December! As you well know, a lot happened this weekend. First, we gorged ourselves on some lame bird and pie, and then pretty much all the mommies in your Facebook feed went shopping immediately after. If I see another damn picture of a leftovers casserole as well as a pile of presents with the caption “finished all my shopping for the holiday!!!” I’m gonna delete my Facebook. Thank goodness for Twitter though. I found all the tweets of people unapologetically gorging themselves and then knocking out a complete stranger for bargains. Check them out after the jump!
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