The Lost Ogle


Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Marquinhos Redux

Potential is Spanish Fly for basketball fans. It as an aphrodisiac that lures those who love to game to believe that great things are on the horizon for a player. Like Spanish Fly, potential rarely works out.

Back in 2006, Patrick owned an Oklahoma City Hornet themed website and had a good relationship with The Sports Animal. As a result, he and I were occasionally invited to participate in their weekly show about the Hornets including a draft night special recapping the team’s performance.

To briefly rundown what did happen that night, the Hornets had two lottery picks where they selected two identical 6’10″ shot blocking power forwards (Hilton Armstrong from UConn and Cedric Simmons from NC State who I would derisively refer to as Hildric Simmstrong from that point on) then took a Brazillian small forward named Marcus Vinicius Viera de Souza (more succinctly referred to as “Marquinhos”) in the second round. As I called into the show for my segment, “Pork” was leading the show while giving the team general manager credit for taking two players who fit a team need and then just making fun of the Brazilian’s name. I saw it the other way around.

“Marquinhos was projected to be a lottery pick,” I told him. “Being able to draft him in the second round is a steal.”

“He has a skill set that few players possess,” I told him. “If he reaches his potential, there will be a lot of teams that regret passing on him.”

Six years later, the Oklahoma City Thunder selected Perry Jones III out of Baylor. He is a guy of which the same arguments were made, and now I’m on the other side. I have been burned once before.

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This Pioneer Horselogger is making his way across Oklahoma

If there was one thing I was obsessed with as a child, it was being a pioneer. I read Little House on the Prairie and revered it the way that some revere the Bible. Any game of pretend I played with my friends involved us being pioneers and living in a sod house. My favorite fieldtrip in elementary school was when we got to go to Harn Homestead because it meant dressing up like a pioneer and sitting in an old school house all day. Yes, readers, I was a nerd from way back.

Now if you fast forward 20 years to the person I am today, I can’t stand to not have air-conditioning, my iPhone never leaves my hand, and the thought of life without NetFlix leaves me panic-stricken and unable to think straight. I mean, can you imagine a world without a refrigerator or Smart Water or lattes or Steve Madden shoes? I’m having heart palpitations just thinking about it.

But apparently some people are down with the horse and wagon lifestyle. A man known as Lee the Horselogger is currently making his way across the state doing it Laura Ingalls Wilder-style. He’s also sassing poor Scott Hines.

From KFOR.com: (link is dead for some reason)

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Top 10 TLO post ideas about fireworks!

Happy 4th of July Eve, friends. The 4th is one of my favorite holidays. As a minor league pyromaniac, I love any excuse to play with fire, let alone when the government gives me carte blanche.

As I sat at my desk, singeing the hairs off my arm, I tried to think of creative posts to write about for this week. When I asked Patrick for some help, he said, “Here is $700 from the TLO petty cash account. Let’s go buy some fireworks and come up with some ideas.”

After coming up with far too many post ideas, I decided that a post about our best post ideas about fireworks would be fun! That would be so F’ing meta. I should note that we bought $5 worth of sparklers and spent the rest on LSD and psychedelic mushrooms. Happy birthday America!

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Joe Gumm was forced to apologize to Howard Stern, and in probably unrelated news was let go by channel 25

Yesterday, an Ogle Mole contacted us and asked two surprising questions: “Did you hear that channel 25 fired morning anchor Joe Gumm?” and “Did his flap with Howard Stern have something to do with it?” These questions were surprising because we didn’t know Joe Gumm was no longer at KOKH and we had no idea of any incident between Joe Gumm and Howard Stern because if any incident between Joe Gumm and Howard Stern had occurred surely this website of all websites would have known about it and why would there be an incident between Joe Gumm and Howard Stern?

The first thing I did when asked about this was go to the website GoOgle.com and type in the words “joe gumm howard stern” and then took a moment to think about how disappointed 14-year-old me must be in how my life turned out. After that, this video from a couple months ago popped up:

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Holiday Guide to Grand Lake

I’m pretty disgruntled over the fact that we’ve been screwed out of some major freebie vacation days in the past year. First with Christmas falling on a weekend, followed by New Year’s, and now with July 4th on a Wednesday. Corporate America, you’re really only giving us one day off work in the name of our forefathers? I’m pretty sure Thomas Jefferson would not approve. I’m also pretty sure he fathered a number of bi-racial children, and as an ethnically ambiguous chick myself, I must say I admire a man with exotic taste.

Whether you’re cramming in all Independence Day festivities on Wednesday or waiting until the weekend to begin the real celebraish, you can guarantee that in the next five days,  nearly every 84% of all families in America will at some point barbeque by a body of water. In Oklahoma, the choice body of water, of course, is Grand Lake.

It seems like everyone, especially those of us in Green Country, has a crazy uncle with a cabin near Duck Creek, or a friend of a friend with a cruiser at Cherokee Yacht Club. Mary Fallin even endorsed the lake as her favorite vacation spot–you know, when she’s not jetting to Vegas or the Scotland. And luckily for us, this year there’s no blue-green algae to deter our plans….yet.

Anyway, for this post I figured I decided to take a look at how people holiday weekend at the Grand Ole Lake of the Cherokees.

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