The Tulsa Metro Chamber passed the hat around town and wound up with $15.75 million dollars to start a program called Tulsa’s Future II (Electric Boogaloo). It’s designed to bring 10,000 high paying jobs to the Metro area.
According to the Tulsa (“not free anymore”) World article:
The funds go to pay for economic development staff and send recruiters to company headquarters and industry shows to pitch the region to various groups.
So, basically we’ve raised almost $16 million bucks to cold call companies to ask them to move people to Tulsa… I don’t know, sounds like a good plan to me.
Because I’m a concerned citizen, I’ve reworked a few sample cold call scripts I found online to help the City get it’s foot in the door.
1. The Soft Sell
Hello Ms. Reynolds, this is Julie Chen from The City of Tulsa. As you may know such companies as Citgo, Gannett & Arena Resources have recently left Tulsa, which has led to ample available office space & parking. The reason that I’m calling you today specifically is so that I can drop by and tell you about our new company relationship management strategy and how you can use Tulsa a stopping point to eventually relocate to a better location. I’m sure that you, like Arena Resources, are interested in a minor league city, right? (wait for positive response) That’s great, Ms. Reynolds, I think we should get together. How about Thursday at 2pm?
2. The Hard Sell
Good morning Mr. Hansen, this is Travis Meyer from The City of Tulsa. Word on the street is you’re talking to other hot cities like Des Moines, Iowa and Fort Smith, Arkansas. (ignore any response, and keep charging) Don’t ask me how I know, that’s what they pay me for and they pay you to listen. I’m going to be in the neighborhood tomorrow, and I’d hate to see you look like such an ass around the office for not considering a move to the best city between the Arkansas and Mississippi Rivers. (Positive response.) That’s great Mr. Hansen, let’s get together. How’s Thursday at 1pm?
3. The Pedophile
Hi Timmy, this is Gary with the City of Tulsa. Yeah, we just lost our dog. I was wondering if you could move here and help us look for it. If you do, you can have some of these Pixi Stix and Now N’ Later candies.
Well folks it’s me again. I’ll refrain from using any sort of adjective to describe you readers in my greeting, as Marisa made it quite clear last week that I should not do so if I value my life. Instead, I’m going to tell you about some things to do in Oklahoma. She won’t be offended by that.
You see, there are some really awesome things coming up during the last half of April I highly suggest you check out. We all tend to get a little bored now and then and I feel it’s almost therapeutic to sometimes make lists. Oklahoma really is special and I think you’ll find these seven things some of the most awesome things this fine state has to offer.
But…before we get started I have a quick update. According to all of those super sophisticated and reputable magazines I am forced to read while waiting in the drug store line, ladies you officially have less than eight weeks to get that bikini body ready for show.
To my list…
What could be better than chicks dressed in trashy, yet hot, clothing trying to beat the crap out of one another whilst on roller skates? Nothing, except for maybe oral sex.
This crazy “sport” has a growth rate that could be compared to the amount of meth labs popping up in McCurtain County. According to a friend, that’s a lot.
Don’t underestimate these crazy chicks. They are out to prove they can kick-ass with an attitude that spews hotness, but don’t expect all of them to be hot. Just sayin…
Well, after 63 games we finally have a winner. Kevin Durant squeaked by Joleen Chaney in the Ogle Madness IV Championship Game by a 327 – 317 margin. To celebrate this achievement and all of this year’s competitors, I have put together yet another One Shining Moment video. Enjoy:
Spence will have a complete recap of Ogle Madness IV later tomorrow. Until then, some quick thoughts:
• We had eight people pick Kevin Durant in our Ogle Madness IV “Pick the Champion” contest. If you were one of them, you have a 1 in 8 chance of winning a $4,300 Body Sculpting Package from Body Trends Electrospa. We’ll announce the winner later this week.
• Two people selected Joleen Chaney to win Ogle Madness IV. I guess it sucks to be those two people.
• This is the second best Ogle Madness game of all time. The best game ever was when Lauren Richardson defeated Amy McRee by two votes in the Ogle Madness I Championship Game.
• There was some major ballot-stuffing for Joleen in this one, but we were able to correct that.
• Thanks to some user error, Microsoft and technical troubles, the “One Shining Moment” video took way too long to make. Please watch it.
Anyway, thanks to everyone for voting and making Ogle Madness a success. Also, thanks again to Body Trends Electrospa for sponsoring the event.
We usually don’t post much on Fridays, but with the Thunder’s first round playoff match-up with Denver only a few days away, this deserves to be seen.
I think what I like about this video is how this girl tattoo totally fits the Thunder super fan stereotype. She looks as much like a Thunder fan as the Mathis Brothers look like Red City Radio fans. Also, I guess we now know who needs to be put on suicide or leg amputation watch if the Thunder ever leave Oklahoma City…or change their logo.
I hate publicity stunts. They are cheesy, contrived and about the only thing they really accomplish is feeding some publicity seeker’s ego and wasting the time of innocent people. Naturally then, I loved this story about former Oklahoman sports editor turned social media “guru” Mike Koehler:
An Oklahoma City man wants to give people a new hope in these dark times.
How does he plan to do it? By building a massive, earth-crushing Imperial Walker from “Star Wars.”
The self-professed geek is aiming to raise funds to create a fully functional, life-sized version of an AT-AT (All Terrain Armored Transport).
Fans would know the behemoth – estimated to realistically stand about 73-feet high – as a weapon of the Empire that trampled through the snowy plains of Hoth in “The Empire Strikes Back.”
“I thought this would be a good rallying point to make us feel good again,” Michael Koehler told the Daily News on Tuesday.
It is his hope that by constructing the mechanical monstrosity, he will bring together sci-fi lovers from around the world. And so far, he may be doing just that.
Koehler is already accepting donations via his tumblr website – atatforamerica.tumblr.com – and will shortly be accepting more donations via kickstarter, a website that allows artists, filmmakers and inventors to raise money.
He acknowledges that the out-of-this-world project could require a galactic amount of time and money, but Koehler’s taking things piece by piece.
“Based on our rough plans, we would split it up into several build teams around the country,” he said. Different parts could be built in different places, and then assembled at his Oklahoma home.
The former newspaper man-turned-social media consultant hopes that, if the Force is with him, he’ll have the project completed within a few years.
Yeah, I’m sure that Mike Koehler is just a humble guy who wants to build an AT-AT to make the country feel better, and that this story is in no way a self-serving attempt by him to feed his ego and promote his social media consulting firm. I’m also sure that The Phantom Menace was the best Star Wars movie and that Sally Kern dressed up like a Jawa for Halloween.
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