Oh, readers, do you feel that excitement on the air? It’s fair time. I’ve been singing the old commercial jingle for the past 5 days, and I’m ready to sample all the fried goodies those stands have to offer. The rides are set up, my camera is ready to snap the most heinous of fair attendees for our photo contest, the carnies are outfitted in those blue polos, and the rain is mixing with the greasy corndog run off to create a nice little midway gravy that is sure to make your shoes gross for days to come. Ah, some days it’s just great to be an Oklahoman.
Anyway, here is your Friday Night in the Big Town.
I’m very positive on the Greek people. I’m pretty sure the only thing that my dad and I can agree on is that Greek House in Norman is the best restaurant in the world and never in the future of food will there be a better place. Also, once on Twitter, Nia Vardalos, you know, the woman who wrote My Big Fat Greek Wedding, sent me a direct message. Pretty much made my life. So, that’s why I consider myself an honorary Greek.
If you are also a phony Greek, or a real Greek, you should get yourself to St. George Greek Orthodox Church. There will be food, dancing, homemade pastries, and plenty of shopping boutiques. While listening to some authentic Greek music, you can take a tour of the church and check out some Byzantine craftsmanship. Also, rumor has it that if you tell the caricature artist that The Lost Ogle sent you, he’ll give you a $2 discount.
I’d like to welcome a new sponsor to the Friday mailbag. It’s Patricia’s Gift Shop! They have two locations in Oklahoma City, four in Tulsa and many other stores located throughout the US. They offer the types of gifts and novelties you would find on top of Marisa’s nightstand or locked deep inside a chest in Clark Matthews’ closet. Sultry, huh?
Anyway, Patricia’s is going to give a $25 Gift Card to whichever Ogle Mole sent us the best email this week. So think of that when you vote!
To the emails:
In Spencer’s column about the Prohibition Room he mentioned the water in Norman tasting terrible. I agree with him 100-percent. Why does it taste so repugnant?
Guess what…THE STATE FAIR OF OKLAHOMA STARTS TODAY! I know, I know…you’re all extremely yet ironically excited. Me too. The last time I wrote about the fair for TLO I made some disparaging remarks about the people who attend it just to mock and people-watch. Well, I guess I’ve matured because
I pissed off our editor I have a completely different opinion now: I say whatever brings you a little joy in this short, stupid life – as long as it doesn’t actually harm anyone – do it. Do it as much as you can. Just don’t tweet about it every damn time.
So, if you’re one of the many folks vying for a night of awesome food and not having to drive in our annual photo contest, I’ve decided to help you out with some quick pointers. Now, I’m only one of approximately thirty judges for the contest, so these are by no means your ticket to some Deep Forkin’ (holler, PR people). Also, quick unrelated question: do you guys think Thanksgiving would be weird if turkeys had nipples?
Here we go:
1. Forget to turn off the flash: If you’ve ever tried to secretly snap a photo of someone who would disapprove, you’ve probably had this happen. The time it happened to me, I was at the bar of a fancy hotel’s restaurant and the hotel’s elderly owner was sitting next to me. At one point, I look over and he’s stone-cold asleep, which was hilarious and adorable (those also happen to be the names of Spencer’s fists, respectively), so I decided to snap a pic. I bet you can’t guess whose accidental flash woke up someone’s sleeping grandpa and silenced the entire bar. Yeah, it was mine. That’s a good way to get beat up at the fair, plain and simple. If you don’t believe me, just ask Hilarious and Adorable.
Although mindless Thunder super fans seem to enjoy it, Kevin Durant’s new movie Thunderstruck has been blasted with negative reviews. It has a 20% rating on RottenTomatoes.com, the Gazette’s 15-year-old movie critic hated it, and even George Lang — the Annakin Skywalker of the Oklahoma film and movie scene — gave it a very guarded positive review.
Now, just to make things worse, we have learned that accused child sexual predator Jim Miller makes a cameo appearance in the film. The scenes were shot before the news broke about Miller’s (alleged) heinous crimes, but still, how’d he get left in there?! It’s a frackin’ kids movie!
From the Oklahoma Gazette’s always clever, fantastic and well-edited Chicken Fried News:
Thunderstruck boasts more than just the distinction of marking the big-screen debut of OKC Thunder superstar Kevin Durant. The film, an alleged comedy in which the Durantula’s basketball skills are inadvertently swiped by a school kid, might just be the first-ever family-friendly movie to include an appearance by an accused child molester. Granted, there was that John Wayne Gacy cameo in 1974’s Herbie Rides Again, but we’re told you’ve gotta look really fast for that one.
The Thunder’s former public address announcer, Jim Miller, is facing multiple counts of child sex abuse and committing lewd acts in front of a child. The Thunder organization immediately booted Miller when the allegations surfaced, but the dismissal didn’t come early enough to avoid his brief role in Thunderstruck.
In one of the film’s pivotal — if you want to call it that — scenes, Miller calls a winning seat number in the Chesapeake Energy Arena that allows the hapless hero, Brian (Taylor Gray), to try a halfcourt shot…
Yeah, that’s creepy on many levels. Here’s a screen shot from the movie:
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