The Lost Ogle

Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Fight violence with violence…unless it involves bruising

When I was growing up, I was pretty much the kid in the front row of the classroom with my hand raised before the teacher finished asking her question. I’m a nerd. I know that. But occasionally I would get in trouble for mild offenses. I sat in timeout once in kindergarten. I felt like a failure and wanted to kill my six-year old self. I don’t take punishment easily. Then, in the fifth grade, I got sent out in the hall for fake fighting because the playground monitor was a jerk. And I pretty much spent my entire softball career running laps around the field at good ol’ ENHS because I talk too much. Also, my parents grounded me once for two weeks, but let me out for good behavior after four days. Basically, I’m kind of a goody two-shoes who also drinks too much and makes an ass of herself in public.

So, suffice it to say that I don’t know much about punishment. But, the fine folks at Cordell Elementary School seem to know a bit more in a medieval sort of way. By now I’m sure you’ve heard the story about the boy who was paddled after his parents allowed school officials to do so in lieu of suspension. Now the parents are angry, saying their son was bruised for days. And here I thought spanking was something that took place in the bedroom between two consenting adults.


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Bad Drivers Beware: There’s a new Video Vigilante in town (video)

We occasionally like to make fun of Brian “The Video Vigilante” Bates on this site. This is primarily because he likes to film disgusting street prostitutes having sex with equally disgusting men and then sell the footage for his own profit, but also because he looks like his name should be Mr. Wiggles or Pee-Wee.

Anyway, for the past 10-years or so, Mr. Bates owned the creepy vigilante cameraman market in this town. Now, though, it looks like he has a rival. Through the Ogle Mole Network, we have learned there’s a guy driving the streets of Oklahoma City and filming bad drivers in the act. He’s then posting the footage on YouTube. We’ll call this new vigilant cameraman the “Trafficilante.”

Okay, I know that’s lame, but I couldn’t think of another nickname. I even got out a thesaurus and looked up alternate words for “traffic” and “vigilante.” Maybe we should just call this new guy the Video Vigilante and give Brian Bates a different name. Once again, Mr. Wiggles has a ring to it.

Here’s the Trafficilante’s first video. I wonder if you made it.

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Fried Mullet Rascal Scooters! The Oklahoma State Fair Photo Contest is back.

It’s that time of the year!

The temperature is starting to cool off, college football is in full swing, and Ogle Moles from all over the state flock to the Oklahoma State Fair to snap pics of those “unique” and “colorful” folk who are showing off their newest mullet, rascal scooter and Tazmania Devil (or Tweety Bird) tee-shirts.

Yes, our Oklahoma State Fair Photo contest is back for its fifth year! For those who are new to the show, here’s how it works:

• Go to the Oklahoma State Fair and take pictures! Obviously, we are looking for funny pictures that capture the personalty of the fair, and in particular, the people who come out of the woodwork and/or trailer park to attend this thing. You know, like a black guy draped in a confederate flag, an ex-member of Alabama walking around with the scraps of his newly christened jean shorts or interesting looking ladies with big baskets.

• Email those pictures to! When you do so, you are basically entering our contest and agree to let us use the photo and all that legal stuff. Also, if you see some friend post a funny picture on Facebook or Twitter, encourage them to enter.

• Come here and vote for your favorites! When the great State Fair concludes, we’ll sort through all the pics we receive and post our 20 favorites for the semi-final round. Our readers will then vote for their favorites, and the six photos that receive the most votes will move on to the finals. The pic that receives the most votes in the finals will be the winner and win the grand prize, which is…

• Snap the winning pic and be treated to a Limo Dinner Tour for four to the Wedge Pizzeria and Deep Fork Grill! What’s a Limo Dinner Tour? Let me tell you. On a night of your choosing, the Deep Fork Group will send a limo to pick up you and your guests guests somewhere in the OKC metro. First, you will be whisked away to the Wedge Pizzeria for beer and appetizers. After that, you will be escorted to Deep Fork Grill for wine, dinner and dessert. From there, the limo will take you on a cruise around Oklahoma City, and at the end of the evening, drop you off safe and sound at your home…or hotel. Pretty cool, huh?

Anyway, for your viewing pleasure, I posted the victorious photos from the previous State Fair Photo Contests after the jump. My favorite is still the Rascal Racers from 2009, although the Guardian from 2010 is pretty amazing.

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Help save the Gold Dome…or one of these 10 other things instead

Here in a couple of days, the historic Gold Dome Building on 23rd will be put on the auction block. This has prompted the owners of the failed Prohibition Room, a now-closed restaurant that was once located in the building, to seek $500,000 in donations to “save” the facility and give it some TLC.

From their Go Fund Me fundraiser page:

As owners of former Prohibition Room at the Gold Dome in Oklahoma City we love the building and have always seen it’s potential. We know the TLC that is needed to bring this landmark back to life and would love to take on this task.

However we can not do it alone. The auction date is growing near (Sept.13) and we need all the help we can get.
We would hate to see the building be torn down or commercialized.

All donations refunded if we don’t get the building.

We welcome investor(s), please contact us.
Any donation will be greatly appreciated.

Wait…you guys would hate to see the building “commercialized?” Isn’t that exactly what you want to do with it? I’m pretty sure there are offices in there right now. Why should people give you their money so you can charge rent? I’m all for saving a relic from the 60′s, but let the market dictate what goes there.

So far, the former Prohibition Room owners have raised nearly $400 (0.0008%) of their half-million dollar goal. So I guess the market isn’t very excited about “saving the Gold Dome.” That being said, I still like the concept of asking people to donate $500,000 to help you save something. I would suggest donating to one of the following ten causes instead:

10. Improve Norman’s Drinking Water

My day job is in Norman. The water out of the tap tastes like dirt, unless the lake has recently turned, then it taste like a metallic urinary tract infection. I think we need to buy a giant Britta water filter to pump the water through before it comes out of the tap.

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The one where we discuss Midtown Tulsa’s extremely narrow streets

It’s no secret that your girl Chelsea is a big fan of dear old Tulsey Town. The strategically planned highway system, the historic buildings, and Quiktrip are all daily reminders of why I moved back here after college. I grew up in south Tulsa, (or SoTo as the cool kids like to say) which is a delightful suburban haven, filled with chain restaurants, gigantic churches, and booster club signs in every driveway. Pretty much the perfect place to live…that is, if you’re under the age of 18 or over the age of 35.

I’m certain that when I’ve finally had enough of sinking my hard-earned funds in rent expenses, I’ll most definitely move back to my motherland. But as a recent college grad, I really have no business living my life at a place that’s further than two miles from one of the many kitschy bars Tulsa has to offer. Thus my decision to move downtown, which of course lies adjacent to Midtown. I now do my grocery shopping at Whole Foods, and purchase flowers from Ted and Debbie’s. I brunch on Brookside every single Saturday and Sunday, practice yoga at the Yoga Room, and take long walks at Woodward Park. I also suddenly wish I drove an Audi, sometimes pretend to be Catholic, scoff at “new money,” and have developed a slight disgust towards any mansion that was built after 1975. I really hate admitting it, but the stereotypical pastey-white midtown Tulsa outlook has slowly crept into my psyche.

However, there are two things that I absolutely LOATHE about mid-to-downtown Tulsa enough to keep me from ever becoming a permanent resident of the area. A) the glaring lack of a Super Target or Walmart in the immediate area, and B) the freakishly narrow streets that line the district.

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