The Lost Ogle


Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Taking a look at the Thunder’s potential first round playoff opponents…

Image courtesy of William Bennett Berry.

Hello Thunder fans! It’s been another week of meh as the Thunder trudge towards the playoffs. Just as it seemed they were finally headed towards former glory, they dropped a winnable game against the Timberwolves in Minnesota. Fortunately for us, the quest to be best in the West is far from over. A home game against the Spurs tomorrow could decide it all, pending matches later in the week. But, regardless of the result of tomorrow’s game, the Thunder are definitely going into the playoffs.

Big Blue is currently one game back of the first place Spurs with 8 games left to go in the regular season. Barring an absolute collapse, they’re safely ahead of the Nuggets, who are in third. That means they’ll face whoever ends up in 7th or 8th place in the Western Conference. Currently, there’s 5 teams eligible for those positions. Let’s take a quick look at them.

6. The Golden State Warriors
Games Back of 6th: 0
Thunder Leading Season Series 2-1

Will We Face Them? Maybe. The Warriors had a pretty bad streak throughout February and March, but they’ve recently regained their stride. They’ve got a couple of tough tests in their last few games, but if they continue their current rate of winning, they should be able to hold onto the seed.

Do We Want to Face Them? Kinda. The Thunder have a nice matchup advantage against this team, because they like to isolate a lot and struggle to score. But the Warriors are, when healthy, a very talented team that can run with the Thunder defensively and control the boards. Their offense isn’t arguably as talented, but they’re good at exploiting mismatches and getting in position to score. They probably couldn’t win a 7 game series in most instances, but the Thunder should hope they can avoid a tough test from Golden State.

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Some creepy Tea Party nut is trying to blackmail Oklahoma politicians…

al gerhart

The man pictured above is Al Gerhart. Not only does he look like your grandparent’s creepy neighbor who drives the weird black van, but he’s also the co-founder and perhaps only member of a group called the Sooner Tea Party. When he’s not inadvertently scaring small children and / or fantasizing about having sex with a woman for the first time in 15-years, he spends his time bullying and blackmailing our state’s lawmakers.

Via NewsOK.com:

The Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation was asked Monday to investigate an email that warned a state senator he would become “the laughing stock of the Senate” unless legislation passed out of his committee.

The co-founder of the Sooner Tea Party admitted in an interview with The Oklahoman that he sent the email to state Sen. Cliff Branan.

“We will expose that man’s dirty laundry. We will show people what he is like,” Al Gerhart said. “It is not a threat. I put down there clearly: This is a promise.”

In the March 26 email, Gerhart wrote about House Bill 1412, which would prohibit Oklahoma communities from having anything to do with the United Nations Agenda 21 plan.

Misspelling one word, Gerhart wrote: “Get that bill heard or I will make sure you regret not doing it. I will make you the laughing stock of the Senate if I don’t hear that this bill will be heard and passed. We will dig into your past, yoru family, your associates and once we start on you there will be no end to it. This is a promise.”

Wow. Strong words. I wonder how he’ll go about ruining Senator Branan’s career? It has to be juicy, right?

Gerhart on Tuesday accused Branan of infidelity during a news conference after coming under investigation for an email he sent Branan.

At the news conference at the Capitol, Gerhart, 54, of Oklahoma City, admitted again that he sent the email but said he absolutely did nothing wrong..

“Political pain and embarrassment will be necessary if the citizens expect to regain control of this Senate down here from the state chamber of commerce and special interests,” he said. “The time for ‘nice’ behavior is over with.”

After reading from prepared remarks, Gerhart told reporters that the scuttlebutt at the Capitol is that Branan “is concerned that we have some information on him on an alleged infidelity.”

“That is why Mr. Branan has reacted the way he does,” he said. “It’s the real reason he’s attacking us, according to the scuttlebutt inside the Senate. Why shouldn’t I bring it up?”

He admitted he has no proof of his accusation.

Yep, he started a nasty rumor that Branan is having an affair. That’s pretty bold, because if there’s one thing that will ruin a politician’s career, it’s allegations of infidelity. It’s pretty much impossible for a politician to overcome accusations like that.

Of course, Branan denies the rumor:

“It just makes me sick. He has no shame,” Sen. Cliff Branan told The Oklahoman. “It was a crazy, untrue allegation that was just shameful. We’ve been happily married for nearly 18 years. … Our marriage is awesome.

“Nothing like that has ever happened. And I think, candidly, he got me confused with somebody else. It’s just nuts.”

So who are you going to believe? The respected lawmaker or the mean bald bully who wears tinfoil hats and keeps a copy of the Catcher in the Rye with him at all times?

For fun, I’m going to choose Gerhart, but that’s only because we like to be different. Plus, he looks like a troll and reads The Lost Ogle (albeit not regularly). We know this thanks to our open records request with the Governor’s Office. You know how you’d always looked up your phone number right when you would open a new phonebook? Well, the first thing we did when we got our hands on Mary Fallin’s emails was search “The Lost Ogle.” The only notable mention we could find was a snippet from one of Al Gerhart’s rambling newsletters that he sent to Fallin’s policy director Katie Altshuler. Here’s a link to the PDF. This is a screen shot of what he wrote:

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What the kids in Edmond are doing these days when not receiving illegal tattoos…

edmond

It’s rough being an Edmond teenager. Yes, I’m being serious. Stick with me on this one, I’m about to name a whole bunch of first world problems that you can’t judge me on especially since you have access to a device that can access the internet.

The only reason I’m here writing for The Lost Ogle today is because I know why Edmond sucks. Don’t get me wrong. I love it too. It’s my stomping grounds. Some day, when Patrick lets me post the official Gentle Marisa Edmond Tour, I’ll show you awesome things about the city, like where I had my first kiss, where I got drunk for the first time, and where I used to hide my stash. It’s a pretty great tour and includes a house that Shannon Miller once lived in.

But the reason it’s hard to be an Edmond teen is because it’s so damn boring. Sure, it’s safe and a great place to raise a family. But close your eyes and pretend your 16. Chances are you imagined yourself being bored out of your mind or consuming a bunch of vodka and Valium like the cheerleaders at my alma mater used to do during basketball games.

Well, it’s recently gotten worse. Some lame kids couldn’t keep a secret, and now you can no longer get tattoos as a minor in Edmond. According to KFOR.com:

EDMOND, Okla. – An Edmond man has been arrested for giving tattoos to juveniles.

Ambrosia Thomas, 32, turned himself into authorities this week but the alleged incidents happened back in September.

That’s when police were tipped off by a father who said his daughter and a group of kids told their parents they were headed to the movies.

Instead, they went to a house in the area of 15th St. and Bryant where they met a man to get tattoos.

In Oklahoma you have to be 18 to get a tattoo.

Check out the man who did the tattooing:

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Ogle Madness VI Final Four: (1) Joleen Chaney vs. (12) Prague Valedictorian

Here’s your Ogle Madness VI Final 4:

(1) Joleen Chaney vs. (12) Prague Valedictorian

(1) Kevin Durant vs. (1) Emily Sutton

The first Ogle Madness Semi-Final open for voting is the David vs. Goliath battle between (1) Joleen Chaney and (12) Prague Valedictorian. Joleen has plowed through the competition while driving in her Beamer. This is her second Ogle Madness Final 4. The Prague Valedictorian, on the other hand, is the Ogle Madness VI Cinderella. She’s made a somewhat surprising and unprecedented run to Final 4, defeating (5) Blake Shelton, (4) Scott Brooks, (1) Gary England and (2) Olivia Munn. And she’s only in this thing because she said “Hell.” Is this a great state or what?!

So it’s come to this. A super smart woman who is an accomplished local journalist is up against a super smart girl who said “hell.” I’m not trying to trivialize the girl from Prague’s achievement but did that girl appear in the Sweet Brown video and NOT laugh? No. No she didn’t.

Hell. Go vote!

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Here’s the greatest punk song about Gary England you’ll ever hear in your life…

cardboard jim gary england day stop sign

Due to our (what some people claim as “odd”) fascination with Gary England, you would assume that we’d have a Google alert set up for each time someone thinks about the guy, much less writes about him. Well, we do. And the all-knowing Google failed us.

Check out the song “Master Newscaster” performed by some local punk band called Limp Wizurdz. The track is short, sweet and maxi-wedge grinder awesome. The tune was released in March 2012. That probably explains the now dated “Rick Mitchell Is Full Of Shit” lyric. I have no clue why we’re just now hearing it. Check it out:

Well, I guess we know what music I’m going to listen to during this season’s first tornado outbreak. Also, instead of using the three long beeps to alert us to a live severe weather cut in, they should just use the opening guitar riff from this song.

Gary England wasn’t the only News 9 personality to get a tribute song by the Lim Wizurdz. Check out this now so flattering song they wrote about Kelly Ogle:

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