Sorry about the misleading headline. It’s the only way I could make last night’s debate between Republican US Senate frontrunners James Lankford and T.W. Shannon seem interesting.
In case you were doing something more fun and productive like binge watching Dr Quinn Medicine Woman or cleaning your baseboard, here’s a brief synopsis:
TW Shannon: Obama is bad. Debt is bad. Harry Reid is bad. Healthcare is bad. Immigrants are bad. Oklahoma Speaker of the House. God.
James Lankford: Obama is bad. Debt is bad. Harry Reid is bad. Healthcare is bad. Immigrants are bad. Falls Creek church camp. God.
Yeah, that’s about it. Although they have different personalities and backgrounds, there’s really not a lot that separates these two candidates on the issues. It’s like they were both conceived in the same limited government, obstructionist Fox News incubator. The main difference is one guy is financed by the Baptists, while the other is backed by the Chickasaws. Picking a side is kind of like choosing between Listerine and the gum disease gingivitis. In a perfect world, neither would exist.
If you think you can handle it, here’s the first clip from the debate along with a few other thoughts:
“Now we’re feeling this one.” – Stan Miller
“That one I do feel.” – Tammy Payne
“That may have been the biggest one that I felt since we’ve been here.” – Stan Miller
“I’ve never felt one that big!” – Lacey Swope
That’s not a preview of my new collection of erotic fan fiction “50 Shades of Red Dirt.” Although that would be cool, successful and probably make me rich, it’s a real exchange that happened earlier this week on the News 9 Morning Show.
Here’s the rest:
“Not that big and not that long long. It was sustained for several seconds.” – Tammy Payne
“Wow, I’ll bet that one hits high fours.” – Stan Miller
“Poor Lacey. Look at how she’s going down over there!” – Tammy Payne
“Look at her!… Look at her!” – Stan Miller
“I’m shaking!” – Lacey Swope
“I’m still shaking.” – Stan Miller
“I’m still shaking. Can you hear my heart beating right now?” – Lacey Swope
“That was a big one.” – Stan Miller
“Oh my goodness.” – Lacey Swope
I know what you’re thinking. Why’s Serge Ibaka hanging out at Channel 9? Did they say all that to his face or were they caught on a hot mic?
Well, it’s neither. That’s what took place following Monday’s earthquake. Check out a clip of the double-entendre marathon session in full context after the jump:
News 9 is getting a little bit of JoJo.
According to various reports through the Ogle Mole Network, we’ve learned that Joleen Chaney resigned from KFOR Channel 4 today and has signed a contract join the KWTV Channel 9 news team. Her start date is TBD.
Joleen will work the 10pm newscast have over at the old “Spirit of Oklahoma,” which will likely involve reporting on news, avoiding Dean Blevins and convincing Lacey Swope to compete in a triathlon.
Yeah, about that. We’ve long made jokes about News 9’s weird desire to turn Lacey Swope into Emily Sutton 2.0, but now those jokes have morphed into strange realities. Just look at what’s happened over the last six months:
The dude in this picture isn’t the lost cast member from Duck Dynasty. He’s not an extra from Sons of Anarchy. As far as I know, he’s never asked children in a shopping mall to sit on his lap, so you can go ahead and rule out Santa Claus. And all my research proves inconclusive as to whether or not this fellow is a direct descendant of Merlin, Gandalf, or Dumbledore. (I do plan on going to my local library to use their subscription to Ancestry.com in order to find out more, though.) No, this fellow is a prospector.
Yeah. A prospector. Like, an old timey 1849er who shouts “there’s gold in them there hills” sort of prospector. In a story from NewsOK from June 9 that I’m just getting around to writing about:
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