The Lost Ogle


Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Friday Night in the Big Town: Short Films, Shooter Jennings & DJ Ryan Drake

It’s Friday, the most important day on this blog. Why? Because I can declare whatever I want. Watch this: I am the third best looking guy in Oklahoma City. See? Though we all know this isn’t true, because I’m number one. Sorry KOCO’s Jonathan Cooper.

With that out-of-the-way, this weekend brings the screening of fun-size Academy Award-nominated short films for those of you, like me, who have no patience for feature-length fiction movies. The last film I watched at a theater was Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls. Good lord, I’m still shaking my head because of that travesty.

There’s also a concert that will test the genetics of a country legend and a Ogler will try not to look too stupid while disc jockeying. Here we go.

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2016 Academy Award-Nominated Live Action Short Films Screening

All weekend – Multiple times, OKCMOA – 415 Couch Drive, $7-9

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Mary Fallin had a dinner party with the former Oklahoma governors…

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According to a press release on OK.gov, Mary Fallin recently had a “dinner party” for five of the six living former governors. Larry Nichols, the real governor of Oklahoma, couldn’t make it.

Governor Mary Fallin and First Gentleman Wade Christensen welcomed home five of Oklahoma’s former governors to their former official residence.

Five of the six living former governors and their spouses attended Tuesday night’s dinner at the Governor’s Mansion. Former Governor David Hall, who served from 1971-75, sent regrets that he could not attend as he is caring for his wife.

Hall, in case you didn’t know, was indicted on federal racketeering and extortion charges three days after leaving office in the 1970s. David Walters was really hoping Hall would be there. It’s always awkward being the only indicted ex-Governor in the room.

It was the first time in recent memory that a governor hosted an event for former governors at the Governor’s Mansion.

“I wanted to bring together our former governors and spouses for an historic gathering to thank them for their service, to reminisce about their service as the chief executive of our state and their memories of living with their families at the Governor’s Mansion,” said Fallin. “It was a fun night with great stories and personal recollections.”

Former governors and spouses attending were David and Molly Shi Boren; George and Donna Nigh; David and Rhonda Walters; Frank and Cathy Keating; and Brad and Kim Henry. Boren served from 1975-79; Nigh served from 1979-87 and also served two other times, January 1963 and January 1979 when vacancies occurred; Walters served from 1991-95; Keating served from 1995-2003; and Henry served from 2003-11.

For some, it was the first time they had returned to the Governor’s Mansion since they had lived there.

If we’re being real here, that seems like the worst dinner party ever. No offense to the current governor or former governors, but like, damn. When people ask you if you could have dinner with anyone living or dead, no one says “You know, what if we invited all the former governors from Oklahoma? That will be hella fun.”

That’s why I’m a little suspicious of this gathering. Surely there was an ulterior motive. Perhaps Mary was trying to sign up the other Governors as Essential Oil distributors. The Oklahoma economy is in the tank, you know.

It could also be something more sinister. For example, maybe she tried to host her own version of The Most Dangerous Game right on the grounds of the governor’s mansion. You may think that it’s absurd to intimate that the governor of the state of Oklahoma would hunt down former governors right around her official home, and it is. That doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. Frank Keating hasn’t been heard from since.

Here’s a festive photo from the event:

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The Cleveland County Sheriff likes to write letters…

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Meet Cleveland County Sheriff Joe Lester. He loves writing letters. He doesn’t care if it’s a pretend letter for a promotional photo like the one above, or a crazy one posted on Facebook with fancy words that encourages citizens to defend themselves from foreign or domestic enemies like tyrant President Hussein Obama. The man is simply a letter writing machine.

Let’s check out how the crazy Facebook letter begins…

“With the recent and continuing attempts by the current leader of our government and his iniquitous minions…”

Wait a second. Is this a letter from a concerned sheriff or the beginning to the next hit young adult dystopian future novel? It’s hard to tell. Is he part of some secret rebel alliance that we don’t know about? Should we warn the others? Are there others?

In case you’re not 200 years old, here’s the definition for iniquitous:

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Yeah, the good old Cleveland County Sheriff basically called Obama’s minions “grossly unfair” and “morally wrong?” I’m sure all the federal workers who live in Cleveland County appreciate that. If the Sheriff is audited next year, I think we’ll know why.

Also, notice how “iniquitous” peaked in the early 19th-century? If you need more proof that Oklahoma sheriffs are behind the times, there you go.

Here’s the letter in its entirety. It’s in a .JPG format. Whether you’re a minion or human, you should read it.

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The Video Vigilante thinks Daniel Holtzclaw is innocent…

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Over the weekend, The Video Vigilante – Oklahoma’s favorite videographer of prostitutes having back alley sexual relations in parked cars with Johns – posted a lengthy defense of Daniel Holtzclaw. It’s apparently part of a new documentary treatment he’s pitching to Netflix called “Making a Scumbag Serial Rapist,” because you know, there’s nothing the authorities like to do more than frame a fellow police officer for the rape of a bunch of black women. They’re just notorious for it.

Via John TV:

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Tales from a Presti Trade Past: James Harden

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Bill Simmons took this picture of James Harden between Russell Westbrook and Kevin Durant when the Thunder lost the 2012 Finals. It’s become Simmons’ focal point for his repeated complaints about OKC trading away “The Beard.”

I’m shocked the picture isn’t his Twitter handle.

From a series of April 2015 tweets:

Jenni Carlson, take note. When writing a one-sentence paragraph about anything, add “Fact” at the end. It’s the newspaper equivalent to Jim Traber cutting off a caller.

Fact.

Just like that.

It doesn’t matter Harden wanted his own team, or the CBA prevented OKC from offering a fifth year that guaranteed an extra $20 million (bumping his deal to $80 million), or the one huge logical flaw that keeping Harden in 2013 promises OKC a championship while the Miami Heat had LeBron James.

Why bring this up now, in January 2016? Because it’s going to get brought up again eventually **cough** Patrick **cough** (example 1 example 2, example 3).

As one of the new Thunder beat writers for TLO, let’s have a little fun and do a Monday Morning Quarterback version of the Harden trade.

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