The Lost Ogle


Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Hot Girl Friday: Ashley Kringen

Greetings from Denver!

I’m visiting the Mile High City city this weekend to visit my now all grown up kid brother (a.k.a. The Chili’s waiter who nearly won the “Best of OKC” a few years ago), watch my Cubbies play the Colorado Rockies in their home opener, and tour the city’s sights and sounds:

Actually, I’m joking around about some of that. For tax purposes, the real reason I’m in Denver is to scout locations for our first ever out-of-state TLO Field Office. Truth is, I’m getting tired of writing about Oklahoma weathermen and am looking for a new market to cover. I’m also working on a new series called “Places That Are More Fun, Clean And Tolerable Than Oklahoma.” Denver seems like a good first choice.

Anyway, I have to get to Coors Field soon because downtown Denver becomes one huge street party for the Rockies home opener. So for today, let’s admire KFOR’s Ashley Kringen. The former pageant contestant turned adventurer has been in OKC for more than a year now, which means her contract is almost up and she’s going to leave soon. Thanks to Marisa, we’ve learned Ashley likes to post pics on the KFOR Pinterest Page. Here are a few of them. She’s our Hot Girl Friday.

Go Cubs!

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Remembering KJ103’s Hot 8 at 8…

kjyo_power_hits

Before the Internet, before downloading, to own the latest top 40 hits, you only really had two options: buying cassingles at the mall or, even better (and cheaper), dubbing songs from the radio onto blank cassette tapes.

At least once a week, I’d walk up to the Eckerd’s in Mayfair Village and buy a three-pack of blank Maxell 60s, the feeling of control firmly in hand as you fit about fifteen or twenty songs, the first five seconds invariably cut off as you rushed to hit record, onto each side.

But in the early 90s, music was changing, coming out of the uncertain era of pop in the 80s into the bold, brash alternative rock in the 90s. Songs about love were out; droning about shooting a classroom full of kids was in. And I hated every moment of it.

Sure, I pretended to like grunge like everyone else, but at home, it was still all about pop music and nothing but. Any and all New Jack Swing, female crushes like Amy Grant (and secular Amy Grant, at that!), hardcore rappers like Gerardo and Jesse Jaymes, anyone produced by Maurice Starr…if I could sing along to it, dance to it or imagine myself making out with a girl to it, it went on the cassette. And what better place to find and record these hot trax than KJ 103’s Hot 8 at 8 show. Every weeknight at 8 p.m., a rundown of the top 8 songs of the day.

Recently I found a few old notebooks detailing tracklistings for mixtapes I made for various girls I was “in love with” in middle school, painstakingly sequencing tracks so that she’d see they have some sort of imagined meaning behind each lyric and magically fall for me, the chubby kid with a bad haircut and a briefcase. (Yeah, I was that kid with the briefcase.)

It never worked—mixtapes never do. But at least I tried, I felt. Looking through my notes, this week, almost 25 years ago, I was a sixth grader at Harding Middle School and I made a mix tape for this brainy Laotian chick I had a massive crush on named Phykoon. She took the tape, but apparently threw it out the bus window on the ride home while telling her friend I was “sweet but too fat” to ever be her boyfriend.

Here’s the top 8 tracks she never got to hear, recorded right off of KJ “Kontinous Jams”103 around this time over a quarter of a century ago…

Vanilla Ice – “I Love You”

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Friday Night in the Big Town: Metro Music Fest, Urban Cinema & The Amish Project

I ran into this story on Cnn.com:

“Ex-teacher arrested in Japan says he paid for sex with over 12,000 women”

This is an example of a story with questionable legitimacy. Why? First of all, he’s a teacher. No teacher makes enough money to pay for 12 Hostess Apple Pies, nevertheless 12,000 service fees. Next, he’s an “ex-teacher.” No ex-teacher has a pension or 401(k) that will supply them with “men or women of the night” funds. Third, I forgot number three, but my first two pieces of evidence are strong enough.

What’s the moral of the story? Pay teachers better. Here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town. Read More

Gary England is your Ogle Madness VIII Champion…

They said he was too old. They said he was past his prime. They said he re-tweeted way too many people complimenting him on Twitter. But in the end Gary had the last laugh. He’s your Ogle Madness VIII Champion!

Earlier this week, his holiness defeated Russell Westbrook by the razor-thin margin of 495 votes to 471 votes (51%-49%). The two percentage point spread is the second-closest in Ogle Madness history. Way back in Ogle Madness I, Lauren Richardson, whoever that is, beat Amy McRee by just two votes.

Our sideline reporter Cardboard Jim Traber got Lord England’s reaction after the matchup: “Jump back! This one goes out to Rip, Tootie, and Loretta back in Seiling!” he said. “And man-made climate change doesn’t exist.”

Here’s the path Lord England took to secure his first title…

Kern, Sally

Round One: Defeated Sally Kern 431-53

The first round demolition of noxious bigot Sally Kern was so overwhelming, it actually broke our poll counter:

ogle poll

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Some lady at Lake Hefner got stuck in quicksand…

Screen Shot 2015-04-09 at 3.06.14 AM

This really is getting out of control. Earthquakes, tornadoes, floods, wildfires, blizzards, hail, ice, fake meteorites… and now quicksand.

We know about this new hazard to our life and well-being thanks to Kimberly Golbuff. Yesterday, the ambitious explorer and her nephew / guide decided they were “Up For Whatever” and turned Lake Hefner into their own personal “Pitfall!” course. Unfortunately, they got stuck in quicksand and had to call 911, which I guess is probably better than being gobbled up by a crocodile or falling into pit covered with small branches and leaves.

News 9 has the details:

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