A few weeks ago, KFOR released a news report about a lady who found and killed a dangerous, venomous copperhead snake in the front yard of her north Oklahoma City neighborhood. The only problem was that the snake wasn’t technically a copperhead, so KFOR removed the story from their website and pretended like it never happened.
Regardless, the report was very informative, and a friendly reminder to everyone in Oklahoma City to be unnecessarily scared, afraid and watchful of deadly critters anytime you walk out the front door. Apparently one person didn’t get the memo. Via Oklahoma’s leader in breaking snake news…
Days after a dangerous run in with a cold blooded reptile, a metro woman is back home, and back on her feet.
She’s now struggling through her first steps, but she’s lucky to be walking at all.
Her name’s Kristie Patton, but your daughter may know her as Ariel, Cinderella, or Elsa.
“I do princess parties, for little girl’s birthdays,” she explained.
These days though, her focus is off prince charming, and more on snake charming.
It all started last week outside her parent’s home…
“I literally took two steps out of the front door, then felt the most excruciating pain on my left foot,” she said. “Saw the snake (on the porch).”
Not just any snake, officials agree it appears she was bit by a copperhead snake.
Soon Katie was rushed from home, to the hospital, to ICU.
Doctors moved quickly, administering much needed anti-venom, as Katie blacked out.
“By the time I got to the hospital it went from being normal, to about 2-3 times the size of my foot,” she said. “I was automatically thinking the worst, of what could happen.”
Today she’s back home, back on her feet, and sounding the alarm on the danger that lay in the shadows, and quite possibly in Oklahoma City.
Yeah, you read that right. She’s pretends to be a Disney princess at kids birthday parties. I wonder what the ER doctors thought when they saw Elsa walking through the door.
Well, that’s terrifying. KFOR released pics of Kristie, her foot and the snake. Check it out:
As Lucas recently noted, Summer finally arrived in Oklahoma last week as we experienced our first moderate heat wave of the year. Although high temperatures ranged anywhere from the mid to high 1990s, it was still a ways off from the impending dog days of July and August where temperatures can climb into the ball chaffing 100s. Knowing that, it may seem a tiny bit alarming that our state’s prestigious, highly-maintained network of roads and bridges that are the envy of the western civilized world are already buckling due to heat.
Via News 9:
Here’s a bridge that’s safe to hide under during a tornado!
In a loving tribute that’s obviously designed to honor Oklahoma’s most holy severe weather deity, and protect western Oklahoma wind farms from the increasing threat of dangerous hail, multi-wedge grinders and other violent acts of weather cast upon us by Diabolical Aaron Tuttle and his severe weather demons, the Oklahoma legislature and Mary Fallin recently passed a law that names a bridge just north of Seiling the “Meteorologist Gary England Bridge.” It becomes official on July 1st.
Here’ an unobstructed street view of the holy weather monument:
Here’s some good, happy news for your Friday.
We’ve learned that Rit Mathis, the new television face of the Mathis Brothers furniture empire and lord paramount of the Renolands, is engaged. His bride to be is Bianca Tizzone. Here are a couple of pics of the beautiful couple:
Let’s give Rit Mathis some credit on this one. Sure, it’s probably easier for high-borns with Lady Americana blood in their veins to score beautiful blonde beauties than us common folk, but she’s quite a catch. I bet he followed her around for three hours bugging her like a Mathis Brothers salesman before she even agreed to go out with him. As the Mathis Brother business model shows, persistence must payoff.
Anyway, Bianca is a former golfer turned model turned realtor turned probable Junior League provisional. According to this 2007 YouTube video that was probably shot in Jack McBride’s bachelor pad, Bianca moved to Oklahoma from South Africa when she was 10, attended Heritage Hall high school, and wrestles alligators on the weekend. Like most hot blondes with ridiculous bodies who are named Bianca, she also has an Instagram page with a bunch of quality pictures. Here are some of them. Bianca is our Hot Girl Friday:
Let’s give a big, friendly Oklahoma welcome to our state’s newest celebrity resident!
Earlier this month, adult film star Teanna Trump (real name: Keanna Nichele Jones) was sentenced to six months in jail after she was busted with six pounds of pot during a March traffic stop, because you know, pot is deadly, dangerous substance that kills tens of thousands of people multiplied by zero each year.
The Video Vigilante, our main competitor in the “people who get paid to have sex” newsbeat, has all the snarky details:
A 20-year old pornstar from Indiana is currently a guest of the Oklahoma County Jail as she awaits formal sentencing stemming from her 2015 arrest in OKC for marijuana possession — And we’re not talking personal use amounts either.
According to court records, on March 7, 2015, at about 9 p.m., Keanna Nichele Jones, aka Teanna Trump, was pulled over by a member of the Oklahoma County Sheriff’s Office on I-40 near Agnew.
Jones, whose IMBb profile lists her as an “actress” with such filmography credits as “Brown Sugar Fuck Dolls,” “Jizz My Glasses” and “We Fuck Black Girls 5” — all Academy Award contenders I’m certain — was driving through Oklahoma with a guy by the name of Edward Earl Arnold, 30, of Hollywood.
That’s nice. I like how the guy who has a YouTube page filled with videos that he’s shot of street hookers giving back alley BJs to John’s in southwest Oklahoma City – all Academy Award contenders I’m certain – is making fun of Ms. Trump’s porn filmography. Come on Video Vigilante! You’re an amateur porn auteur! Don’t be a hypocrite and mock this artist who is being unreasonable punished for simply having six pounds of a non-lethal substance that is legal to possess in half of our states.
Here are more details about the arrest and sentencing:
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