The Lost Ogle


Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Oklahomans really like green bean casserole…

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As far as I’m concerned, Thanksgiving may as well be called Pie Day. I’m not to into the first few courses of the day because they take away valuable stomach real estate from pie. Anyway, you can eat birds, potatoes and dinner rolls any old day. But Thanksgiving is a special occasion because you can eat apple, pumpkin and pecan pie all in the same day. And bonus points if you pile loads of Cool Whip on top of said pie, like you’re erecting a monument to gluttony.

But I understand that not everyone is cool with only eating pie for a meal. To some, the turkey and stuffing is a very important part of the day. To others, various side dishes are the reason for the season. Recently, The New York Times published a piece about Thanksgiving dishes typical of each of the states. So, what was the most “Oklahoma” dish?

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The Oklahoman is documenting its own sad, inevitable demise…

Apparently, the editors of The Oklahoman get a kick out of watching their own funeral.

Last week, “The State’s Most Oldest News” debuted a new series where they pick 11 lucky subscribers to have donuts and coffee with The Oklahoman editor, Kelly Dyer Fry, and discuss the newspaper.

Well, at least that’s what they claim is going on. I bet the whole thing was just a lure to pre-sell obituaries. As we know, The Oklahoman will do just about anything for extra cash. Just check out the photo:

oklahoman subscriber

You know how law firms will sometimes use a cliché line like “Our attorneys have over 300 years combined experience in banking law.” Well, those 11 Oklahoman subscribers have about 700 years experience reading the newspaper.

Seriously, no wonder the newspaper industry is dying. When your customer base is composed of people who write checks, watch CSI and still have landline telephones, you may have some problems. I can’t tell if they’re talking about newspapers or conducting a focus group for Polident.

If you want to see something even more depressing than this photo, check out this video NewsOK.com put together about the event. They even converted it into black and white to mimic the old talkies their readers watched as kids.

The best part, and I’m not joking, is where Jenni Carlson’s mom chimes in to say: “I like Jenni Carlson real well… I just like how she says things.”

Check it out:

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Good news! Now only 62% of Oklahomans are judgemental idiots…

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Whenever a court overturns Oklahoma’s draconian constitutional ban on gay marriage, Mary Fallin likes to (embarrassingly) point out that 75% of Oklahomans in 2004 were totally fine with repressing the equal rights and legal protections of law-abiding, tax paying American citizens in order to satisfy their own fears, insecurities and religious views.

Here’s the proof:

The people of Oklahoma have the right to determine how marriage is defined. In 2004, Oklahomans exercised that right, voting by a margin of 3-1 to define marriage as the union of one man and one woman.

The will of the people has now been overridden by unelected federal justices, accountable to no one. That is both undemocratic and a violation of states’ rights. Rather than allowing states to make their own policies that reflect the values and views of their residents, federal judges have inserted themselves into a state issue to pursue their own agendas.

Today’s decision has been cast by the media as a victory for gay rights. What has been ignored, however, is the right of Oklahomans – and Americans in every state – to write their own laws and govern themselves as they see fit. Those rights have once again been trampled by an arrogant, out-of -control federal government that wants to substitute Oklahoma values with Washington, D.C. values.”

Yes, how dare that judicial branch protect the freedoms of the minority against the discriminatory, prejudice and repressive majority. Before you know it, those activist judges are going to tell us blacks and whites can go to the same schools!

Well, it looks like there’s a little bit of good news out there for those Oklahomans who think two grown up, consenting, homosexual adults should have the freedoms as heterosexuals. According to a recent poll by the Tulsa World, now only 62% of Oklahomans are prejudiced tool rods:

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Steve Shaw had a Facebook malfunction…

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I don’t know what it is, but I kind of like News 9’s Steve Shaw. Sure, he’s over-the-top, obnoxious, dramatic, and louder than an AWACS flying over Midwest City, but aren’t we all when we drink 10 Red Bulls in one day?

Seriously, how can you not like Steve? He’s what happened when the weird chubby kid who played with Tonka trucks grew up and became a news reporter. When Steve’s not working, I imagine him sitting at the end of a bar with his tie loosened, sipping on cheap whiskey while humming Van Halen songs and occasionally bragging out loud to no one in particular about the time he stole Dean Blevins’ Smart Ones.

Actually, I’m just joking. I doubt Steve really stole Dean’s frozen dinner. I think the only thing Steve has ever stolen from Dean is a penchant social media gaffes.

For example, check out what he put on Facebook on Saturday.

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Mary Fallin drove a tank…

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It’s going to be another great a four years.

In what can only be interpreted as a symbolic statement to how she crushed Joe Dorman, Mary Fallin drove a tank over an old, beat up car on Friday.

She also fired a machine gun.

It was all part of the grand opening celebrations for the new Wilshire Gun. It’s the new gun range near Nichols Hills that has a restaurant and bar on premises.

Via KOCO:

A large crowd gathered at the Wilshire Gun grand opening Friday to watch Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin drive a tank over an old car.

The stunt kicked off the three-day opening celebration, as Wilshire Gun becomes the first shooting range in the state to sell alcohol.

“Well it was interesting being able to ride in this tank and crush a car, and what an exciting way to open up the Wilshire Gun range today,” Fallin said. “It’s a great new edition to Oklahoma City and it’s creating jobs.”

Fallin said having a place that teaches gun safety is an important addition to the community.

“Having the ability to have meeting spaces where people can learn about gun safety and the appropriate handling of firearms, which is also a very important part of gun ownership,” Fallin said.

Yes, outside of a nursery or fireworks stand, there’s no better place to learn about gun safety and the appropriate handling of firearms than a gun range that serves alcohol. Because you know, alcohol helps you retain information and improve decision making.

There are plenty of ridiculous images from the event. My two favorites were tweeted by Hank from Family Guy impersonator Morgan Chesky:

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