In honor of Ashton Edwards and Chase Thomason’s engagement, Spencer and I recently collaborated on a post that listed some other random OKC couples we’d like to see tie the knot. One of the duos that I came up with was the guy from The Key and The Ghost of Lynn Hickey. Here’s what I wrote:
Because that would be one hell of an amazing car buying experience.
You see, the Key brands itself as a low-pressure car buying environment where you can not only purchase a 2007 Malibu with 20%-interest, but also read self-help books and beat an old car with a sledge hammer. Lynn Hickey, on the other hand, was the owner of Lynn Hickey Dodge. His car dealership took the phrases “high pressure sales,” “publicity stunts,” and “Oh shit, it’s the IRS!” to new levels in the early 1990s.
My idea to match the two came out of nowhere. I was thinking it would be funny to list the guy from the Key with a random person or thing. For some reason, the Ghost of Lynn Hickey was the first thought that popped in my mind. The only problem, unbeknownst to me at the time, was that Lynn Hickey was still alive. Or at least he was. He passed away on December 14th, four days after we published the article.
After another fantastic week of Thunder basketball, the team has amassed a 11 game win streak. It’s nothing remarkable in the scope of the NBA, with 10+ game win streaks happening virtually every year. But it’s easy for the mind of the passionate fan to race. What if the Thunder could win 34 straight games and beat one of the NBA’s longest-standing records?
In order to find out, it’s best to go straight to the source. The 1971-72 Los Angeles Lakers, who won 33 straight games. Before the streak, the Lakers weren’t a particularly heralded team. They were full of household names that you might know, like Wilt Chamberlain, Jerry West, and Gail Goodrich. But despite their talents, they were the Buffalo Bills of the NBA. Throughout the 60s, they got continually beaten in the NBA Finals by Bill Russell’s Celtics, and hadn’t won a championship since the franchise was in Minneapolis.
Going into the 71-72 season, it looked like the Lakers were about to let their dynasty fall. The year prior saw injuries to both Elgin Baylor and Wilt Chamberlain, leading to a first round playoff loss. Most of their stars were old, and no new players had come on to the scene.
But something was different this year. The Lakers got a new head coach in Bill Sharman, who had previously been a part of the Celtics teams that continually whipped Laker tail. He brought in a new philosophy to Los Angeles, using the up-tempo offense he had learned in Boston. You see, basketball was a very different game back then. There was no three-point line, and the general philosophy was that the center touched the ball at least once before the team ever took a shot. The 24-second shot clock had just been invented, and most teams thought that they should use all the time they could in order to get a good look, rather than taking the first opportunity that came up. In other words, imagine if the Thunder made sure Kendrick Perkins got the ball in the post during every possession, and Russell Westbrook slowed down fast breaks so he could set up the offense.
Well, readers, Christmas is on its way whether you’re ready or not, and there are rumors of a possible white Christmas. If you’re one of those people who is excited by the idea of snow for the holiday, then I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Yeah, I said it. Leave Oklahoma. The only thing that makes those ridiculous sweltering summers tolerable is the knowledge that I probably won’t have to deal with a crappy snow. You can go up to the arctic north that is Nebraska if you want a white Christmas.
Snow is cold, wet, and for some weird reason, it’s socially acceptable for people to throw it at you. What’s to like about that? Here I have compiled a list of all the reasons why it can’t snow on Christmas. We just aren’t ready for it, and, quite simply, I hate the dreary gray deathscape that is a snowy day. I need sunshine, because holidays are anxiety-inducing enough, and I don’t need the added worry of being snowed in with my family.
5. Jonathan Conder isn’t here to tell us not to wear Crocs
If we’re being honest, I don’t think many Oklahomans have shoes that are safe to wear in the snow. Canvas sneakers are appropriate for roughly 11 months out of the year, but really suck for those few unpleasant days when the snows fall. And if you’re the sort of person to wear Crocs, I’m guessing you have undergone some sort of trauma that makes you think those are okay, and thus, need someone to tell you not to wear them when there is snow on the ground. But if we’re being honest, you should never wear them anyway.
May was fantastic. Unless you were in Florida and homeless. That’s when that homeless guy got his face eaten off by a crazy person. See, homeless people. Could always be worse. You could have no face. Then again that guy is probably in a warm hospital eating regularly. He wouldn’t know though because that crazy person also ate his eyeballs. I’ll go ahead and stick with being homeless over being No Eyes McGillicutty.
Don’t forget to vote!
April 2012 was a good month. Well, unless you hired Colombian hookers and were part of the Secret Service. I’m not sure I blame them. See those girls above? They’re the Davalos Twins. They’re Colombian models. From the looks of it, they are the best thing to come out of Colombia that you can’t snort. Good job Colombia. And the slightest of empathy for Secret Service guys.
None of that has anything to do with what follows. What’s that? A complaint? No. That’s what I thought.
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