In a recent article in Self, Oklahoma City and Tulsa were named two of the Top 10 Unhealthiest Cities for Women in the United States. Obviously, this isn’t surprising. Anytime some magazine throws out a list unhealthy place to live, you can expect Oklahoma City and Tulsa to make the list.
What is surprising is the lack of substance to the Self article. I’m quoting this verbatim. OKC is unhealthy because we have “835 fast food joints.” Tulsa made the list because of “poor habits, high disease risk and life expectancy is falling.” Yep, that’s it. Way to blow our minds with specific data and research. The DHS newsletter has better editorial standards than Self.
Anyway, I don’t think Oklahoma City and Tulsa are all that unhealthy. Here are a few reasons why:
1. Obese ladies are less likely to be blown away by a tornado
I call this being “Tornado Proof.” Having an extra bit of heft gives you padding from the debris of a twister, as well as making it harder to get blown away.
2. Oklahoma women don’t work very hard
According to Sally Kern, women don’t work hard because they are busy thinking about babies or something. Work causes stress and stress is unhealthy. So maybe Sally was just letting us know that women value their health over money.
I learned some things over Thanksgiving Break. They are:
1. Partying four nights in a row is an awesome but terrible idea. Three days later, I still wake up with my mouth tasting like garbage water, and aggressively brushing my teeth makes me feel even more nauseous.
2. Battle of the Sexes is the stupidest game ever and was clearly written by a misogynist.
3. My cousin is a badass who renegotiated his ransom price and outsmarted the three bandits who kidnapped him in Brazil last month. Yep, just try to tell me that one of your relatives dropped a bigger bombshell than that at the Thanksgiving dinner table.
4. Rap battles don’t actually happen in real life. In fact, if you casually mention them in conversation, Josh Sallee
might will laugh at you and question your street cred.
5. Tulsa women lose their minds when it comes to discount lingerie and brand-name sweatpants. If you haven’t seen it yet, this happened early Friday morning at Woodland Hills mall:
I’m still not too sure what to think about Abigail Ogle.
Sure, she’s nice, tall and attractive in a girl superhero type of way, but then again, she also has some of the features of an Ogle brother. I know that’s because her dad and uncles are Ogle brothers, but still, it makes me feel uncomfortable. It’s like dating a girl, meeting her parents, and then realizing that she kind of looks like her dad. Is it a deal breaker? Probably not. Does it haunt you for a few weeks? Probably so.
In addition to all that, I feel a little bit awkward ogling (sorry) Abigail Ogle. Something about it is incestuous. My helicopter blogger instincts are to nurture and protect her, not gawk. Hell, in a perfect world, we wouldn’t even acknowledge her existence. But this world isn’t perfect, and Abigail Ogle goes out and tweets pictures like this from Edna’s:
When I was a kid, I always liked kangaroos. Or was it boomerangs. I can’t remember. All I know is that I really liked Australian stuff growing up. Crocodile Dundee was my favorite movie, Elle McPherson was my favorite actress and Yahoo Serious was my favorite actor. That probably explains all you need to know about me.
Anyway, an Oklahoma family lost their freakin’ kangaroo over the Thanksgiving holiday. From the UPI:
Family searching for missing kangaroo
An Oklahoma family is offering a $500 reward for their missing pet kangaroo, who disappeared on Thanksgiving.
The Menhusen family, of north Shawnee, realized their an 11-month-old kangaroo Lucy Sparkles was missing on Thanksgiving, The Shawnee (Okla.) News-Star reported.
Lucy likely wandered off, frightened by all the children outside, as kangaroos can be sensitive to noises.
“We’re certainly heartbroken and sad — we just want her to come home,” mother Shayla Menhusen said.
The family searched for Lucy Thursday night and again on Friday, but she hasn’t been found.
“We feel like she’s close,” Menhusen said, adding that hopeful Lucy will find her way back home or be found safe. “She’s the only pet we have.”
Menhusen said if Lucy is found that she is very friendly and likes being held. She should be kept in a yard with a fence.
The family is also offering a $500 reward for anyone who returns the kangaroo safely.
I imagine it must suck to lose your kangaroo and everything, but when an animal gets scared and runs away from home because it hears the innocent sound of children laughing and playing, it may not be the best pet for you and your family. Perhaps you should consider owning a dog or cat or basically any other animal that doesn’t belong in a zoo!
Also, Lucy Sparkles? That’s what they named the damn thing? It sounds like some new strain of exotic marijuana, not a deranged creature that likes to box.
Anyway, here’s a photo of Lucy:
Yes, Bedlam was not the only show in town this weekend. The Thunder split a short East Coast road trip. Notre Dame is going to the BCS Championship Game. The Dallas Cowboys are a few more games away from the end of the Jason Garrett experiment. The west side of the state finds another savior in 6A, in the form of Norman North, that will be yet another grease spot that is east side high school football dominance.
But this is about OU/OSU 2012. A classic matchup of two good teams with great offenses and high school caliber defenses.
10) Why Oklahoma Won and Oklahoma State Lost
Oklahoma was able to make a few more stops than Oklahoma State. OSU simply could not get OU off the field enough to win the game. Oklahoma ran 103 plays, Oklahoma State 79. Oklahoma had the ball 13-minutes longer than Oklahoma State. And if you still think OSU wasn’t gassed at the end of the game, rewatch that 17 play drive to end the game, and the two runs by OU in overtime.
Throughout the game, the numbers didn’t add up to an OSU lead, much less an 11 point lead in the 3rd quarter. It was just a matter of time before OU strung out a win.
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