The Lost Ogle


Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Friday night in the big town: the car show, monsters, and Kid Rock

What’s up, readers? It’s that time again when we talk about Friday and what a night it is in the big town. If you’re like me, you’ve paid bills and rent and now you know that your next two weekends will be spent at home watching NetFlix due to your lack of cash flow. But that’s cool. I have degrees in creative writing. I’m never gonna be rich enough to go to Bricktown every weekend. Though, I will probably never want to go to Bricktown every weekend.

Anyway, here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.

March 2-4: OKC Autoshow

I like cars as much as the next guy. In fact, I drive one roughly 60 miles each day, round trip, to go to work. I’ve often fantasized about using my car as a weapon. During the last 10 minutes of my commute, I usually don’t care if I go to jail for vehicular homicide because if you merge at the last second in the construction zone that has been there for over a year, YOU DESERVE TO DIE! So I’m going to the car show to find a car that kills people better.

But apparently, this car show isn’t just about cars. You can meet the dude from Hillybilly Handfishin’, Skipper Bivins, or Ryan Broyles, both men known for their innovations in the automotive industry. The Avengers will be there with their shield car, SpongeBob and Patrick Star (no relation to OKC Patrick) will be there, as well as a whole mess of Power Wheels cars. Hey Mom—remember when you wouldn’t let me have a Power Wheels car but the kid across the street got a Batmobile and a Barbie Jeep? I still haven’t forgiven you.

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This is a decent time lapse video of the Devon Tower construction

I drove down to the Dallas – Ft. Worth metroplex yesterday to see some family, catch a Stars game and get a much-needed, albeit brief, break from the land of fetus food and embryonic citizens. Because of that, I originally planned on taking today off…but then I woke up to see a post about the top 15 guards in Oklahoma State basketball history since 1990 or something.

Yeah, here’s a time-lapse video of the damn Devon Tower being built.

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OSU’s Greatest Guards of the Clark Matthews Era

According to Robert Allen, this is the greatest player in OSU basketball history

The sun is rapidly setting on spritely Keiton Page’s career as an OSU Cowboy. It has been a, surprisingly, good career. It has been a career for which he should take great pride. It has been a career for which OSU fans should be extremely grateful.

It has not been an incredible career.

As Page set the record for career three-point shot makes against Kansas, the Cowboys dropped another game with an apathetic performance. The loss made them 7-10 in league play and virtually assured the school’s first losing record since the 1980′s. Meanwhile, some OSU fans were campaigning for OSU to hang Keiton’s jersey from the Gallagher-Iba rafters and retire his number.

Standing only 5’9″ and being generously listed at 165 pounds, Page’s success in a sport dominated by more athletic, stronger, and far taller players has been remarkable. That said, he has been a star player for a crummy team. He played in only four NCAA Tournament games, all as a back-up, and when he became the focal point of the offense, the team simply stunk.

Making the campaign even dumber is that the Cowboys currently have honored no players in the program’s history in that manner. A freshman enrolling next season could still have Bryant “Big Country” Reeves’ #50 or Byron Houston’s #35, and those are two players who were All-Americans during seasons OSU was a powerhouse nationally. Yet, Robert Allen thinks that Page should be invited back to relive the glory days of a sub-.500 season and receive the ultimate honor.

On Twitter, former OSU star and current ESPN analyst Doug Gottlieb addressed the hyperbole surrounding the sweet shooing gnome. He didn’t think that Page should even be considered a top-25 guard from OSU over the past 25 years.

I disagree. Page is probably a top-20 OSU guard during the Clark Matthews era. After the jump, I’ve ranked my top-15 backcourt players of the Eddie Sutton-present time frame after the jump. (editor’s note: If Patrick were in town right now, this would never have been published.)

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Christal Bennett really doesn’t like it when you put snakes around her neck

Last week Channel 25′s morning show Joe Gumm’s Super-Happy Funhouse sent Christal Bennett to something called “DW’s Exotic Animal Park” in Weatherford. At first I thought they were talking about DW’s porn store just south of the border, but it turns out DW’s Animal Park and DW’s porn store are very different things. Who knew!?

Anyway, things were going fine for Christal Bennett until some guy decided to surprise her by putting a snake around her neck. Her reaction was, well, see for yourself:

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An open letter to the personhood act protestors

Photo by Doug Hill

Dear Personhood Act Protestors,

Thanks. Seriously. We need more people like you in the state. Every once in a while it’s good for Okies to remember that there are progressive folks out there. Sometimes, I think they feel everyone is a staunch conservative, and that’s probably why there was a billboard on Broadway Extension that advertised George W. Bush during his presidency. As if we could’ve forgotten that choad bucket was in office.

Anyway, I know burnout is a big thing with Okie progressives. It’s hard to do something when it feels like everyone else is against you. Sometimes, it can seem like you’re screaming your lungs out and the only response you get is the general consensus that when you grow up, you’ll understand. You’ll see that everything the legislature did was for your own good. You’ll want your kids to grow up with those conservative values that only a red state can instill. You’re just young and impulsive. I know hearing that can get old. I know that there are times when you know you could just move to Austin or Denver where you can enjoy the environment.

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