So, I just got back from the doctor to get my throat checked out because it feels like Brian Davis just glued 500 of his catchphrases with molten lava to my tonsils. I thought I had strep throat, but apparently it just an infection or impending death. Regardless, ain’t nobody have time for that!
Anyway, since I’m not feeling too good, I don’t really feel like analyzing this hysterical Daily Show segment on the Personhood Act and Constance Johnson’s accompanying amendment that would prohibit men from depositing semen on or in anything that is not a women’s vagina. All I have to say is that it’s pretty fukcing funny and awesome. Enjoy.
On Monday, we posted the amazing video of Oklahoma City resident Sweet Brown. Here’s what I wrote:
Oklahoma has had it’s fair share of viral video stars. Off the top off my head, we’ve had Mike Gundy tell us he’s a man and he’s 40, Elyse Downs make it snow and Greyson Chance become an overnight pop sensation after singing a Lady Gaga song. Hell, even the original Thriller wedding dance couple is from the Sooner state.
Now there’s another Oklahoman threatening to take YouTube by storm. Her name is Sweet Brown, and what started as just a typical morning in search of a cold pop turned into a large ordeal for the Oklahoma City woman.
Haha, called it! When I published the post above, the video had about 1,200 views. Now it’s up to 900,000. That’s a lot of views for YouTube video, but it pales in comparison to this one that I shot with my iPhone on the damn TV in my living room. Yes, 1.5-million people have now seen my TV and living room wall over the past 48 hours. I guess that totally justifies writing off the TV on my taxes
Anyway, enough about us and our obscure internet fame. I searched the web for some of the best Sweet Brown auto-tune remixes. Here were the better ones I could find:
Well, my plot for a late-night Cinemax movie has been scooped. Twin stripper sisters, Tracy Murray (pictured left) and Stacy Helguera (pictured right) were arrested Wednesday night on assault charges – involving a baseball bat – when they returned from the strip club where they work.
According to my imagination, Tracy’s stage name is Orgasma, her sister’s stage name is Shovel-Face. But this isn’t a simple story about twin strippers fighting. This story involves Orgasma’s fiance and a cousin.
It’s that time again, readers, when we tackle the tough questions that other blogs are too scared to touch. Last time you decided overwhelmingly that you preferred Bob Mills to the Mathis Brothers, most likely because you are responsible hamster owners. This week, we take on the question that no one else has the balls to debate. Truck nuts: yes or no?
The NBA season that almost wasn’t will soon be the NBA season that just ended. Oklahoma City has played 57 of the scheduled 66 games (86%) and has already clinched the Northwest Division along the home court advantage that status guarantees in the first round of the playoffs. If the Thunder get some combination of wins or Laker losses that sum up to two over the next three weeks, they will also be assured more home games in the event of advancing to the second round. That seems pretty likely.
Thanks to an incredible hot streak by the San Antonio Spurs and the Thunder’s first three game slide of the season, the status of best record in the Western Conference is suddenly a toss-up. As of this morning, OKC has a one game advantage over the Spurs (who have played two fewer games). San Antonio only has to aim for a tie, however, because they won the regular season series with the Thunder (2-1). Of course, of the other teams who might face the Thunder in the post season, San Antonio is the team they most need the advantage of playing at home against.
Even that may not be enough. Over the past two season, the Thunder have won only once in six games versus the Spurs. In several of those, the outcome was never in doubt. Despite the Spurs historical success, it is surprising that the Thunder have struggled so much against them. From a match-up standpoint, one might expect Oklahoma City to be the dominant team.
San Antonio puts a similar line-up on the floor. Tony Parker and Russell Westbrook are basically the same player and should theoretically cancel each other out. Each team has a future hall of famer in Tim Duncan and Kevin Durant. They both even have a spark plug sixth man who most other teams would build their team around. The difference is that the Spurs players are so old their coach strategically rests them rather than risk injuring his decaying stars.
Yet, with the advantage of young legs, the Thunder fail to make these head-to-head games competitive. Why?
Tim Duncan terrifies the big men
Remember that ABC game of the week where the Thunder annihilated the Miami Heat at home. In that game, the Heat attempted to take Kevin Durant out of the game by sending extra defenders at him whenever he touched the ball. To combat that, Durant zinged passes inside to Kendrick Perkins and Serge Ibaka who were wide open for easy dunks.
Technically, this should work in most games because most teams give extra attention to Durant. The reason it worked so well against Miami is that those two guys caught the ball. Later in the week, the Thunder played Miami on the road and those two fumbled easy passes out of bounds. Miami won that time.
Against San Antonio, this problem always occurs. The reason is most likely the presence of Tim Duncan. He looms around just enough that Ibaka and Perkins are always thinking about him swatting their shot. The numbers back this up. When Duncan is on the floor against OKC, the team shoots a measly 46% in the restricted area (meaning dunk and lay-up attempts). This is below their season average of 52%, but even worse is that when Duncan is on the bench and they are playing San Antonio, they team shoots 74% from that range. My guess is that the variance is caused by the players being too distracted by Duncan’s whining at the referees to finish their dunk.
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