The Lost Ogle

Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Some bartender snitched on a mom drinking at Lumpy’s…

lumpys expressway

Last night, KFOR told us the story about a mom who left her kid parked in a car while she knocked back a few drinks at Lumpy’s on Expressway way back on Mother’s Day. Apparently, the whole thing was one big miscommunication:

A mother accused of child neglect gives her side of the story after allegedly leaving her son in the car while inside a bar.

Hayley Hampton, 28, is now facing one charge of child neglect, and while she accepts responsibility, she says there was a miscommunication that night…

It was late Mother’s Day evening… Hayley says she was picking up her boyfriend when he talked her into getting a quick drink.

“My boyfriend was like ‘hey it’s mother’s day…your friend’s in there working, do you want go to in real quick and visit before we leave?’” said Hampton.

Okay. For a Mother’s Day present, your boyfriend offered to watch your kid in a bar parking lot while you went inside to have a beer and talk to a friend?! Wow! What a gentleman! He’s a keeper! He obviously knows the key to a woman’s heart involves drinking alone inside a bar.

Actually, since her boyfriend was in a car in the parking lot watching the kid, what is exactly the issue here?

With Bentley in the back seat, Hayley says her boyfriend was supposed to stay outside with the child.

But according to a probable cause affidavit, both he and Hayley were later spotted inside.

When a bartender overheard the child was in the car, she called police.

Bentley was found by police, sleeping in a car seat…

The bartender told authorities Bentley had been outside, unattended, for at least 45 minutes.

Uhm, the bartender really snitched on this lady? That’s not cool. I always thought parents leaving their kids out in the parking lot was part of Lumpy’s charm! It’s what makes it one of the best bars in the city, right?

Seriously, I’ve always loved Lumpy’s. Back during my waiting tables days, I spent many nights there sitting in depressing white lounge chairs playing NTN trivia with servers from other restaurants. In fact, Lumpy’s was the first bar to ever served me alcohol. I was 19 and had this awful fake ID and they were one of the few places that would accept it. How bad was it?

This bad:

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The Oklahoman really wants to sell some digital advertising…


Last night, I stumbled across a native advertising article on promoting the third annual Confluence Conference. It’s a Digital Media Summit (yeah, they’re  calling it a summit) organized by The Oklahoman’s internal ad agency “Big Wing.” At least I think that’s what Big Wing is. It kind of reminds me of Wimgo in that is has a weird name and no one really knows what it is or does. The only difference is that it’s run by some quirky little English bloke so no one really gives a damn.

Anyway, the Confluence Conference article conveniently focused on how 51% of Oklahoma companies have increased their digital advertising budget this past year, because you know, digital advertising is fucking awesome! Who doesn’t want to advertise on the internet? It really is an amazing deal, especially when you deal directly with local independent blogs. For example, just the other day Ryan Cunningham, Marcus Mears and I were driving around in Volkswagen asking if we should stop by Patricia’s or The Hustler Store before we…

Wait. I’m not going to go down that path and turn this into an advertorial for digital advertising. Unlike The Oklahoma, I have higher standards than that.

Anyway, I decided to check out the article because, well, I sell digital advertising. At the very least, maybe I could find a company or two that invest in digital media and want to advertise on TLO. As is typically the case with articles, I was immediately disappointed.


For many of Oklahoma’s biggest brands, marketing budgets have moved toward digital channels. They are in line with national trends that suggest that more than 50 percent of companies will increase online marketing spending this year.

Longtime companies like OG&E shift towards digital, newcomers nearly dedicate 100 percent of marketing spend to digital.

Power-giant OG&E, for example, has deployed significant digital marketing efforts compared to five years ago as more and more customers engage with the brand online, company officials said.

“Our share of spend on digital advertising has, and will, continue to grow,” said Angela Nichols, OG&E director of marketing. “Increasing our digital marketing efforts is an important trend that keeps the brand effective at reaching customers in ways that are meaningful to them and that resonate with their lifestyles.

WTF?! OG&E? Yeah, something tells me their marketing department isn’t going to buy an ad on TLO anytime too soon…

“Hey, this is Patrick with The Lost Ogle. Would you all be interested in buying an ad?”

“Are you the same guy who compared us to high school dropouts and PT Cruisers and called our spokeswoman a dirty, filthy liar?”

“Yes, that would be me.”

“Sorry, but we’d rather spend our 2015 digital advertising on companies that sucks our dick and mention us in articles about digital media summits. Goodbye.”

Okay, so OG&E will never advertise on this site, but maybe some other company mentioned in the article will…

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David Boren got the Pride of Oklahoma a nice apology gift…

ou band

David Boren must feel pretty damn guilty about that Justin Stolarik debacle.

Yesterday, the University of Oklahoma unveiled new uniforms (pictured above) for the Pride of Oklahoma marching band. They’re shinier, whiter, and unfortunately, still look like marching band uniforms.

Seriously, what’s up with that? Society has advanced in so many areas over the years, but for some reason, we still dress up our marching bands like 19th century European militias. Can’t they just wear normal clothes like everybody else? It’s like the powers-that-be want to guarantee the band nerds remain virgins. If you think band uniforms are weird to look at, just imagine having to march around on a field wearing one. Trust me on this, it’s cruel and demeaning.

But I digress. For band uniforms, these look nice. And the Pride totally deserves new gear for all the shit David Boren put them through. They’ve had to deal with an in-over-his-head band director, striking tuba players and even Trevor Knight. Well, we’ve all had to deal with Trevor Knight.

Anyway, OU didn’t stop with new uniforms. They also issued a series of Pride of Oklahoma paper dolls. And no, I’m not making that up. Check them out:

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Man accidentally shoots himself guarding anti-Muslim gun range…


Last week, Patrick brought you the story of Save Yourself Survival and Tactical Gear, the anti-Muslim gun range in Oktaha. After their story went viral, the owners received threats from all over the world. As a result, they gathered up some gun shooting buddies and local volunteers (pictured above) to provide security.

What could go wrong with that?

Via News 9:

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The national media coverage of our earthquakes is kind of cool…

One positive thing about our state’s earthquake epidemic is the national media is now paying more attention to Oklahoma. Although that may seem like a bad thing, it can actually lead to good publicity.

For example, check out this photo essay from Vice titled “Earthquakes in Oklahoma.” This was the very first pic:


See what I mean? Usually when a media organization publishes a photo essay about earthquakes they include tragic photos of death and destruction, but when they focus on Oklahoma quakes they use pics that should go in a tourism brochure. Seriously, that’s just a beautiful photograph! It captures the idyllic rural countryside we all drive through when taking one of those long trips to Enid to see the girl you met on Adult Friend Finder who apparently was using an 8-year-old old photo.

Of course, not all the pics in the Vice photo essay are that flattering. Some showed the dark side of Oklahoma quakes:

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