Happy Monday to everyone. How many of you are reading this from your fancy pants new iPhone 6 Plus? Just kidding. No one cares about your new phone. You know why? BECAUSE IT’S A PHONE. If you were reading it from a Nokia 5110, then we would care because we’d really like to know how you hacked that brick with an antenna to display websites. And we still kind of want to see if we can beat our old score on snake.
Anyway, as always, I’ve collected the best and the worst of the tweets from the week before, and I’ve placed them right here for you to enjoy. Don’t ever say I didn’t do nothing for ya. Get this week’s tweets after the jump.
We’ve received a bunch of great emails since we started this website in 2007. Perhaps none of them have been better than this gem that Mike Morgan sent us back in June 2011 before he hated us:
Subject: Damn, it’s hot!
Hello LostOgle, as a token of appreciation for the Mike Morgan drinking game ( very clever ) , here is a picture of Marla Morgan, former runner up Miss rodeo USA from bristow, ok, cooling off during a recent hot OKC evening. We hope you approve, May u continue to be this lucky….
Since that first contact, we’ve had an up and down email friendship with Mike and his wife Marla. The highlights include Marla emailing us pics of phallic Roman road signs from the couple’s Mediterranean vacation, and this gem of Marla posing in a swimsuit in front of a muscle car while holding a Wile E. Coyote doll. The low point was when Mike angrily accused us of censorship and a failure to show balls, and threatened to use the evil powers he learned from the dark sith weatherlord Wayne Shattuck to attack Ogle Manor with a microburst.
Out of appreciation for all the good times and material the Morgan’s have provided us, I thought we should chronicle and post all the pics of Marla we’ve obtained over the years. She’s our Hot Girl Friday, and definitely something Mike Morgan doesn’t have to apologize for.
Thursday, September 18th, 2014 was not the best day for the KFOR Weather Team.
Emily Sutton started the day by accidentally saying a bad word during the weather forecast, proving that even adorable little weather princesses can have a shitty morning:
At least she didn’t go to Frontier Shitty.
Not to be outdone, Mike Morgan showed his young apprentice how to really say something bad during that night’s 6pm newscast. Following a serious report about how Oklahoma Muslims are trying to overcome negative stereotypes, prejudices, death threats and general attacks on their religion, Mike Morgan decided to lighten the mood by comparing an Islamic prayer ceremony to a tornado drill.
Here’s the video:
The showdown is upon us.
The battle between good and evil takes place this Sunday at 7 p.m. outside the Civic Center and it is free of charge. The infamous “black mass” faces off against local politicians, clergy and protesters in a ‘no holds barred’ screamfest. Well, I expect one side to scream while the other laughs.
Roman Catholic Archbishop Paul S. Coakley created the ferver by calling attention to the event in fantastic fashion and then suing the group for possessing a consecrated Host, stating that it is owned by the Catholic Church. Gov. Fallin condemned the event, but “shockingly” blamed the wrong satanists, if by “shockingly” you mean “expectedly.” From there the fever grew hotter among the local 700-Clubbers, while the rest of us lived life, ate food and watched Netflix.
Coakley is now worried about possible confrontations between the protesters and satanists. Apparently, the city of Oklahoma City has received threats vowing to block entrances and will have police monitoring the crowds. Those entering the theatre will be searched for weapons. Also, two police officers will attend the black mass to protect the satanists.
Maybe those who are up in arms over the black mass should ask themselves “who is the real threat?”, but that would involve introspection, and of course they are perfect.
Here is your Friday Night in the Big Town.
There are two types of weirdos. You have weird weirdos (Joe Exotic or The Video Vigilante) who are really weird and annoying, and then you have cool weirdos (like Reed Timmer or Biker Fox) that you wouldn’t mind being friends with.
I’m pretty sure the guy pictured above, Taylor Caraway, falls in the cool weirdo category. Earlier this week, the Oklahoma City man achieved overnight internet fame when Reddit and then The Huffington Post picked up on his strange OK Cupid profile image.
Here’s his story via The Huffington Post:
This is Taylor Caraway’s OkCupid profile pic. It blew up Reddit earlier this week because — well, just take look at it — why wouldn’t it blow up on Reddit?…
In an email interview with The Huffington Post, Taylor told us he believes he’s in the “top-ish tier of OkCupid success” — meaning, “I probably get a response to around 80 percent of my first messages.”
“My profile and my pictures are very polarizing, so they’re not for everyone — and that’s what I like about them,” he said.
As popular as the photo was on Reddit, the 32-year-old realizes that crazy ladybug prints from Hobby Lobby aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. And he definitely tends to have more success with the photo when he ventures outside of his hometown of Oklahoma City.
“When I travel, I get a lot better reactions to that picture and some of the other crazy ones,” he said. “A lot of people think the picture is creepy, and I’ll be the first to admit it definitely has a strange-ish vibe to it. That just makes me laugh, though. And I have had one or two women tell me they love me just based off the pictures — true story.”
So what’s Taylor’s best tip for being successful on online dating sites?
“Don’t take the whole thing too seriously. I think a lot of people (especially men) tend to way overanalyze every minute detail of the messages they send,” he said. “Just keep things lighthearted. Dating should be fun. If you’re stressing about it, you’re doing it wrong.”
And in case you’re wondering, Taylor is still single and no, he doesn’t wear that ladybug shirt on dates. (Sorry, ladies.)
Uhm, if his profile pic is so cool and popular, why’s he’s still single? I think I know the answer.
Through the vast reaches of the Ogle Mole Network, I was able to get in touch with a cute girl who actually went on a date with this guy. After some initial hesitation, here’s what she had to say:
Thanks! Your message has been sent!