Citizens, they’ve finally done it!
QuikTrip, fondly known as the oasis of awesome on every corner in Tulsa (and the midwest, and the south…pretty much everywhere except OKC) has finally crafted what could be the most fattening, most deadly, and greatest frozen treat known to mankind.
Yes, you can now walk into QuikTrip and purchase a maple bacon vanilla milkshake! I’ve always been a dip-my-fries-in-my-frosty kind of gal. Salty and sweet is my thing, so yesterday when my office work felt particularly tedious, I hopped in my car and traveled 0.27 miles to the nearest QuikTrip to try me one.
If you follow me on Instagram, then you know that more often than not, Sundays are spent eating ridiculously large steaks at my parents’ house. As a person who has recently renounced chicken altogether, I’m really enjoying my new “all red” diet. And while I’m not above hitting up Cimarron Steakhouse for their lunch special, I like to think that I generally make good decisions regarding the meat I purchase.
But not all purveyors of flesh are on the level, as we’re learning from this recent story on NewsOK.com:
As you know, Mary Fallin released the batch of secret emails related to our Open Records lawsuit yesterday afternoon. Now that we got the prize, you’d think we’d be popping champagne bottles and rolling around in the records on the floor like they were hundred dollar bills.
Well, that’s true. I got drunk and made the documents rain at Night Trips last night. Let me tell you, nothing is hotter than folding a paper copy of an email exchange between Glenn Coffee and Denise Northrup in half and then tucking it in a strippers g-string. It’s too bad the strippers disagreed.
The records release, and the timing of it, was obviously a strategic move by Fallin’s campaign. As we noted, they only had a couple of days left to produce a court ordered log of the records containing important details like the date and time sent, senders, recipients and subject lines. They probably figured releasing the emails was better than a random log. I assume sending a 1:30am email to a think-tank lobbyist can look pretty suspicious without any context.
Also, Mary’s office conveniently released the emails on a Monday afternoon during the early stages of her sputtering re-election campaign. That way, they can attempt to twist the issue into a positive, and falsely tout Mary’s record of transparency for the next few months, despite the fact it took 20 months and a lawsuit to get her to do it.
Obviously, this doesn’t sit too well with us. Why should Mary get to play politics and pick when and why she releases open records that the public is entitled to view? That’s not how our open records laws are supposed to work, and it’s why we’ve decided to continue with our lawsuit. I’ll let Ryan Kiesel, the Executive Director of the Oklahoma ACLU, explain it:
“If the Governor had simply produced these documents nearly two years ago in compliance with the Open Records Act, the people of Oklahoma could have been afforded greater transparency and spared unnecessary legal cost. The precedent the Governor is attempting to create would allow the Executive Branch of our state to hide behind bogus privileges, and only reveal requested documents after months of litigation and before untested legal arguments are reviewed by the state’s highest court. Along with our client, we intend to move forward to ensure that the current and future Governors of our great state do not get a blank check when it comes to following the law.”
So yes, in short, we are pressing forward with our appeal. We’re going to try to make sure that this Governor, and future ones, can’t mute important issues and chose to ignore open record requests until it’s convenient for them.
Of course, some people are asking me this question: why? You got the records. Be content and go home.
I’ll be the first to admit, this wasn’t an easy decision. This whole thing has been controversial. We’ve lost advertising revenue because of it. Plus, there are a lot of people in the journalistic community that don’t want us to pursue this any farther. They’re worried that the Supreme Court will rule in the Governor’s favor, and make it even more difficult to get open records in the future. They want us to drop the case.
You know what, screw those people. We didn’t do this for journalists or boring media outlets or to make money. We are doing this for the people!
Okay, okay, I really did it for the publicity, but give me a second, I’m on a roll here.
Seriously, screw the other media outlets in the state for not having the balls to file this lawsuit. Do you know how sad it is that the only plaintiff the ACLU could land for this case is an “obscure, local social blog” that specializes in crafting fan fiction about meteorologists? Here’s a hint: It’s really sad. It’s like watching Emily Sutton drop a cupcake.
Of course, we’re really not an “obscure local social blog” anymore. Here’s what the AP called us in their wire story:
I’ve never bought or sold anything from Craigslist. This is because I’m stubborn and refuse to adapt to changing times, but also because I’m intelligent, handsome and get weirded out every time I visit a website that looks like it was built with the FrontPage HTML editor. Come on, I know the website is supposed to have simple, web-retro look, but at least make me feel like I’m not going somewhere illegal.
In addition to those reasons, I also….
A) Don’t want to get ripped off buying second-hand merchandise from some Internet creeper.
B) Don’t want to get ripped off selling second-hand merchandise to some Internet creeper.
C) Don’t want to die while getting ripped off by some Internet creeper.
Seriously, do you all not watch Lifetime movies? Craigslist is a scary place. I think I read a study that claims something like 80% of all Craigslist users either stutter, have twitch in their arm and /or frequent garage sales. Who wants to associate with anyone like that?
Anyway, the reason I bring all this up is that a metro man now probably shares my sentiments about the site. He sold a PS4 for $300… in counterfeit bills.
Mary Fallin won’t be going to a Satanic bean feed anytime soon.
Yesterday, our Governor issued a strongly worded statement against the satanic Black Mass that’s planned for the Civic Center in September. Through mid-July, the event has sold about 30 tickets. Expect that to double with this additional round of publicity.
In a Mary Fallin campaign hallmark, our Governor blamed out-of-state liberals and elitists for a problem that’s actually being caused by hard-working Oklahomans.
Check it out:
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