The Lost Ogle


Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Friday night in the big town: Boston, colors and bikes

What’s up, readers? It’s everyone’s favorite time of year, which is to say that it’s Friday. If you’re like me, that means you’re going to start drinking right around lunch time and keep going until you pass out. But then again, if you’re like me, then you’re not really a functional human being. Anyway, I have made a list of things for you to do this weekend if you don’t plan to be wasted the whole time.

Here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town!

July 14: Boston at Lucky Star Casino

I have to say that the majority of my knowledge of classic rock comes from playing Rock Band. Maybe I’m not so cultured, but if videogames can’t teach us things, then I don’t know what can teach us. Plus, I’m really good at singing “More Than a Feeling” on expert. I’m practically a member of the band.

If you too, are great at singing Boston songs on expert, then you probably need to head to the Lucky Star Casino. They probably won’t let you sing on stage, but you can totally be loudest singer in the crowd. And since Boston has been active as a band for almost forty years, you know that this is truly going to be a party.

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It’s morning in Oklahoma City. Go vote for us.

Our friends over at the Oklahoma Gazette have announced the finalists for the 2012 Best of OKC. We are up for honors in two fields. They are:

– Best Website or Blog

– Best Person to Follow on Social Media

First of all, we would like to thank all the Ogle Moles who actually voted for us. It is kind of cool to be nominated for these “honors.” Unlike some of the other finalists, we didn’t beg for nominations on social media, cheat at dodge ball, or steal a bunch of Gazette’s from City Bites and pay minimum wage employees to stuff the ballot box. People actually nominated us because they like us. Hard to believe, huh?

Anyway, if you want to go vote for us you can do so by clicking this link. I don’t think we have a chance to win either category, but I guess it would be cool if we did. Here’s a breakdown of who we’re up against:

Best Website or Blog:

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Emily Sutton and JoJo finally met Gary England (photos)

So, I was about to set down in front of my computer and write about how we are finalists in a couple of categories in the Gazette’s “Best of OKC” and how you should probably go vote for us, but how it doesn’t really matter because the thing is stupid and rigged, but then I saw this tweet from Joleen Chaney:

What’s this you say, Joleen? You found a picture on Emily Sutton’s blog that deserves a caption contest. Well let me check out this picture and see if I can help.

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10 reasons why medical marijuana should be legal in Oklahoma

According to the always reliable Wikipedia, 19 states have either legalized medicinal marijuana or decriminalized it. Now thanks to Constance Johnson, the Senator behind the “every sperm is sacred” amendment to the Personhood Act, the Oklahoma Senate is actually going to take a look at the issue.

From News 9:

Advocates for medical marijuana say they are finally making progress into legalization here in Oklahoma. The head of the Oklahoma Senate has approved a study into the issue.

Senator Constance Johnson says this is the first progress on the issue since she first introduced it in 2006. She plans to call Doctors, experts, patients and advocates to testify.

“There are a lot of people in Oklahoma who are interested in this issue and they’re finally getting a voice in the process,” she said.

“I think we should leave it up to the medical community to decide what to use to help people,” said attorney David Slane says he has represented a client in Oklahoma who’s doctor recommended medical marijuana.

“It’s not medicine,” argues Mark Woodward with the Oklahoma Bureau of Narcotics.

He says his agency will ask to testify at the hearing.

“The bottom line is the whole medical marijuana movement is recreational pot smokers looking for loopholes in the law so they can recreationally smoke it whenever they want,” Woodward said.

Senator Brian Crain, head of the Health and Human Services committee still has to grant the hearing. He tells News 9 he is looking into how much time it will take.

Senator Crain says he hopes to make a decision this week if and when he will hold that hearing.

First of all, let me respond to Captain Mark Woodfucker. Of course you don’t want medical marijuana to be legalized! You’re a bully who works for Oklahoma Bureau of Narcotics! You’re a fun-hater who makes a living by trying to arrest people who want to relieve stress, enjoy life and not feel ashamed about eating a king size bag of peanut M&M’s while watching Super Troopers.

And yes, most people who want “medicinal” marijuana legalized are simply “recreational pot smokers.” They are also smart, rational and logical people who realize marijuana has more in common with a nice cigar than it does a bag of heroin, and that by making it available via a prescription, you’re one step closer to legalization and regulation instead of jail time and a criminal record.

Anyway, I decided to list some reasons why medicinal marijuana should be legalized in the Sooner state. Some of them are pretty basic and straightforward, while other ones may be a little more abstract and require being stoned to understand.

1. Less non-violent offenders will be put in jail and prisons.

Oklahoma has a problem with prison overcrowding and high incarceration rates. If medicinal marijuana was legalized, fewer people would be serving time in jail or prison. One of those people is Patricia Spottedcrow, a 25-year old mother of four with no prior criminal record who was sentenced to 12 years in prison for selling $31 in pot to undercover cops.

2. Smoking marijuana helps people interpret the tweets of Dean Blevins. 

I don’t smoke marijuana and never will because D.A.R.E. worked on me (have I mentioned some of my relatives read this blog), but Clark Matthews is a regular user of the wacky tobacky. He says it helps him do many things, like see the checkerboard in four dimensions and better understand Dean Blevins’s tweets. Since Dean Blevins’ tweets fly over my head, I’ll consider that a positive thing.

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This robber may have had a report due on space

The guy above is Timothy Hammond. Some people call him…Tim. If Tim looks a bit ashamed and irritated in the photo above, he should be. The criminal mastermind was busted by the police for stealing a set of encyclopedias and trying to sell them on Craigslist.

From News 9:

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