May was fantastic. Unless you were in Florida and homeless. That’s when that homeless guy got his face eaten off by a crazy person. See, homeless people. Could always be worse. You could have no face. Then again that guy is probably in a warm hospital eating regularly. He wouldn’t know though because that crazy person also ate his eyeballs. I’ll go ahead and stick with being homeless over being No Eyes McGillicutty.
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April 2012 was a good month. Well, unless you hired Colombian hookers and were part of the Secret Service. I’m not sure I blame them. See those girls above? They’re the Davalos Twins. They’re Colombian models. From the looks of it, they are the best thing to come out of Colombia that you can’t snort. Good job Colombia. And the slightest of empathy for Secret Service guys.
None of that has anything to do with what follows. What’s that? A complaint? No. That’s what I thought.
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From a blog post by NewsOK.com Managing Editor Alan Herzberger:
It doesn’t matter what VH1 is counting down. It could be “40 Greatest Reggaeton Songs” or “100 Most Forgettable Films of the 1970s.” Whatever the subject, I WILL cancel any foreseeable plans, attach myself to my couch, and not relocate until I’ve seen Godfrey and Michael Ian Black comment on every single thing on the list until I find out what number one is. Well, this weekend, I sat through “100 Greatest Kid Stars” only to find out that Michael Jackson, Gary Coleman, Corey Haim, and Corey Feldman did not make the list, but that naked baby on the cover of Nirvana’s Nevermind did. Justin Bieber placed number one! Whoever wrote that list should be fired. I get aggravated just thinking about it.
Hopefully this list won’t infuriate you as much as VH1 did to me this weekend. At least, it’ll take you a lot less than five hours to get to number one. I’m counting down the best (somewhat) recent TV Christmas specials. I say somewhat because I was born in 1989, and not nearly as dedicated to syndication as I once was. So I’ll go ahead let you know that the M*A*S*H episode my extended family talks about didn’t make the cut. Sorry about that Uncle Jim.
Check them out after the jump.
Back in October, we broke the news that David Payne was leaving Channel 4 to become Lord England’s apprentice at Channel 9. Here’s what we wrote:
Yes, just one day after they signed Gary England to a new contract, we’re hearing rumbles through the Ogle Mole Network that KWTV News 9 has poached popular weatherman and stormchaser David Payne from the KFOR Channel 4 weather team.
News 9 is apparently making the move to combat stagnant ratings and help prepare for the day when Lord England retires to his Severe Weather Palace in Edmond. If this rumor is true, and we think it is, it will come just 14-months after KWTV signed longtime KFOR chopper pilot Jim Gardner to a lucrative contract.
According to one email we received, Payne informed his colleagues at Channel 4 of his decision to leave yesterday morning. Upon hearing the news, Mike Morgan’s severe weather tie burst into hot flames and he had to be doused with water. From the back of the room, Emily Sutton slowly stood and said “I’ll chase the storms now, Mr. Morgan. I’ll chase the storms.”
Payne will allegedly start at News 9 in January.
Okay, so we missed his start date by a couple of weeks. We can’t be perfect.
Anyway, Payne’s last day at Channel 4 was on Friday. According to Moles, he mentioned during his morning weather forecast something to the effect that it was his last day at Channel 4 and that he was moving to Channel 9. After that, he was escorted off the set and out of the building. That’s kind of a shady way to do things by both parties, but I don’t think anyone’s ever accused the television news industry of being a place filled with a lot of class.
Three more thoughts:
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