Think of me, your resident twenty-something from Tulsa, as TLO’s in-house anthropologist. I’ve always had a knack for isolating new breeds, identifying their likes and dislikes, then calling out the posers who have infiltrated the great 918. What some might see as shallow stereotyping, I merely view it as scientific analyses. I’ve introduced you to Midtowners vs South Tulsans, but today’s post focuses on a breed of douchebaggery that can only be seen when disposable income meets a giant ego, gets it on and shits out the spawn of idiocy. In high school and college, shows like Teen Mom made me feel better about myself. Now, I have these clowns. I like to refer to them as the 30-k Millionaires.
How does one spot a 30-k Millionaire?
• Brittany Baldy — the 16th hottest woman in the Oklahoma City news media — is moving from Freedom 43 to Channel 25. We know this because Jack Elliot — her dad — decided to tell everyone on Facebook.
• Here’s more proof that we are still in the middle of difficult financial times. The Executive Director of the Oklahoma Zoo, Dwight Scott, recently received $6,500 raise. The increase of 5% pushes his annual salary to only $136,500. Thankfully, the poor guy was also awarded a bonus of $25,000 for the fiscal year that ended June 30th. That means his family won’t go hungry. In other news, a single adult ticket to the zoo cost $8 and it’s perfectly fine to rob zookeepers.
If you’re a Cleveland County resident, you may want to pour a little out for one of your homies. We have learned through the Ogle Mole Network that longtime Metro news reporter — and part-time super hero — Gan Matthews is “resigning” from Channel 9.
In a story that was sent to us by an email tipster and then validated by an Ogle Mole, Channel 9 apparently “offered” or “suggested” that Gan move to the weekend beat. Unless you’re a rookie working your way up the ladder, that’s the TV news equivalent of being demoted from the Major Leagues to AA or being selected to head up the new corporate division in Tulsa around Christmas time.
Outside of what I’ve learned from watching commercials during Thunder games, this is all I really know about our local energy conglomerates. They are all:
- Clean, natural and abundant
- Great places to work
- Stewards of the community
- Proud supporters of the Oklahoma City Thunder, and
That’s why I think this “Worst of OKC” poll is interesting. One of our town’s major energy companies has to be the worse, right? Help us figure out which one after the jump.
*Please note, Aubrey McClendon, Tom Ward and Larry Nichols have each offered us $200 and dinner at the Petroleum Club if we provide them with the IP records and voting logs for this poll…or at least that’s what the five men wearing suits, sunglasses and tiny earpieces told me after they landed a black helicopter named “Silkwood” in my front yard. Anyway, if you want to go to the Petroleum Club next Thursday, let us know.
Oops. It looks like this post published earlier today with no options to vote. That’s because I forgot to update the post last night. I guess that’s what happens when you drink too much.
Anyway, since I don’t feel like writing blurbs about some of our town’s annoying intersections this morning while nursing a slight headache, we’re going to keep this one simple. Here are the nominees for “Worst Intersection.” Vote for the one you hate the most after the jump.
• E 33rd and S. Broadway (Edmond)
• NW 63rd and N. Western
• W. Memorial Rd. and N. Pennsylvania
• Northwest Expressway and N. Pennsylvania
• S. Meridian and Highline Ave.
p.s. – I said I didn’t feel like writing blurbs, but that last one may need to be explained. This is the weird intersection just a block or two south of I-40 on Meridian. There’s a Sheplers and Motel 6 there, as well as about a thousand cars or so backed up in traffic throughout the day. This is because the person who designed that weird intersection did heavy drugs.
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