The Lost Ogle


Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Oh my god this man’s attic is full of bees

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The attic is usually the most unsettling room in any house. You have to pull down a secret trap door in the ceiling, and then gingerly climb up that rickety wooden stepladder that feels like it’s going to collapse at any moment. When you find the hanging shop light that is covered in cobwebs, it casts a dim glow across the room. You’re hunched over because of the low, slanted ceiling, and watching your step. There’s a narrow walkway in the middle of a sea of musty pink insulation that makes your skin itch just to look at it. One misstep into it, and you’ll fall through into the room below. The air is hot and stuffy, and nearly every inch of usable space is cluttered with junk you haven’t thought about in years: boxes of old mementos, a bag of beat-up golf clubs, that creepy doll you inherited that is supposed to be cursed (wait, it’s not on that chair where you left it, where did it go?).

So it’s pretty unnerving to have to make a trip to the attic, but do you know what would make it worse?

FILL THAT MOTHERFUCKER UP WITH BEES.

No way no how are you gonna get me to go up there. I don’t care if there’s a chest full of war bonds that great-grandpa never cashed in. I’ve seen enough episodes of the X-Files to know how that’s gonna end. So I understand why the guy from this KFOR story called in for some help:

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We finally found an Oklahoma GOP lawmaker who cares about blacks and Native Americans…

Todd Russ

The dude pictured above inside the Sears Portrait Studio is State Rep. Todd Russ. We talked about Todd a month or two ago when we learned he was one of three men in an Oklahoma House committee to vote against an equal pay measure for women. Here’s the not-so-kind words we said at the time:

This Derp is (or was) a board member for the Oklahoma Bankers Association and is (or was) the president of Washita State Bank. He’s also served on numerous banking boards. Please keep that in mind when parking next to Todd Russ’ car, Women Who Work In The Oklahoma Banking Industry Or For Washita State Bank.

Seriously, of course the Republican banker voted against this bill! I’m pretty sure banks were the ones who invented and pioneered gender pay inequality centuries ago. I bet he even gives male bank tellers bigger suckers to give to customers than the female tellers. Hehe, just kidding. I doubt Russ would ever stoop to the level of hiring a male bank teller. That’s a woman’s job.

Well, we have some good news to report. Thanks to our scolding, Russ has changed his backwards ways and now displays compassion and understanding towards people who were not born as conservative white bankers!

Yesterday, the House debated and passed the much-talked-about SJR 68 by a count of 61-30. It’s the resolution that would put alcohol modernization laws on the Oklahoma ballot. Russ was one of 30 lawmakers who cast a “Nay” vote against the measure. He did this not because he’s a theocrat who wants everyone to abide by his antiquated moral code and religious beliefs. He simply wants to protect vulnerable Native Americans and black Oklahomans from the dangers of buying cold Fat Tire at the grocery store.

Via The Tulsa World:

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5 Metro Places That Have Never Changed

thongthanh

Yesterday, it was announced that the Gold Dome building will be repurposed and remodeled to fit a wholly unnecessary Natural Grocers, an overpriced niche grocery store/vitamin and supplement dealer that just adds one more building block to the gentrification of NW 23rd, or Uptown if you’re nasty.

When I first moved back here from Colorado a few years ago, I was amazed how many touchstones and landmarks I grew up with hadn’t changed in the slightest, starting with the whimsically multi-colored Truong-Thanh supermarket, a staple of my childhood since Classen Fifth Year Center as our bus would zoom past it and Soul Boutique and the various black hair-care outlets, of which there were assuringly many.

But, now, it’s practically unrecognizable, what with all the overpriced seafood and pizza eateries mingling with Cox bill-pay kiosks and I think there’s a gym, but I’m not sure. Either way, I guess the Truong-Thanh was an eyesore, because now it’s painted burial white, undoubtedly in preparation for its inevitable dissection to make way for an Organic Squeeze that’ll hopefully cash plasma checks with a purchase.

Nostalgically though, here are five local businesses that amazingly,  for the most part, still look the same since I originally moved to Oklahoma City in 1990…

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Star Wash

If there was ever any reason to beg my dad to pull our Delta ‘88 into a car wash in the middle of a gang-riddled neighborhood, it was because of a tenuous at best connection to a sci-fi trilogy I loved as a kid. Yes, a long time ago, on the Southside not too far away, the hope of rebel copyright infringement was kept alive by one brave car-wash entrepreneur and his fandom of George Lucas’ groundbreaking space opera achievement.

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The force has stayed awake for so long there I can’t believe that not only is Star Wash still standing, but so are the many cops that often find themselves pulling their tasers on a perp in the parking lot drunkenly trying to steal quarters from the vacuum machines. May the spray-wash be with you, always!

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Friday Night in the Big Town: NMF 9, Star Trek Concert & the Memorial Marathon

It’s too bad about Prince. As you have experienced and will continue to in the upcoming days, his life and music will flood your news streams and social media, and deservedly so. The music video Patrick will add to the top of this article very well may be Prince. That’s only if he can find a video that doesn’t have a copyright restriction attached to it. Prince was a well known stickler on ownership infringement.

Hopefully the following events may help you get away from a Prince overload. First we have Norman’s biggest event that doesn’t involve the Gaylord Family Oklahoma Memorial Stadium. Quick note, stadiums and arenas should not have more than three words in their title. That’s an opinion, but a good one because it’s mine.

The 9th Norman Music Festival storms the college town starting today. Though I did say that the FNITBT’s events would help get you away from all things Prince, I can’t make that promise on this one. I figure there will be some band who will try to put together a Prince cover that would make The Purple One roll his eyes. Just a warning.

Next we have a concert that will fill Star Trek dorks hearts with glee, and to wrap things up with have the world’s most meaningful run.

Here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town…

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Boomer Sooner is bad now…

boomer sooner

Earlier this week, something called The OU Undergraduate Student Congress – an organization that apparently prepares ambitious students for the bureaucracy, inefficiency, and general absurdity of the US political process – voted on a pointless resolution that would have given an official “Boomer Sooner” to all the athletic teams for a job well done.

Unfortunately, the well-intentioned resolution failed because “Boomer Sooner” is bad now.

Via the OU Daily:

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