Like most normal people who wear deodorant and brush their teeth, I can’t stand Walmart. In fact, I’m proud to say I haven’t set foot in an Oklahoma store in many years. The last straw took place in 2013 when I was looking at cheap clothes for my James Franco from Spring Breakers Halloween costume and a flea jumped on me.
Seriously, why would anyone shop at Walmart, especially in Oklahoma? Yeah, I guess you can maybe save a dollar or two on groceries over Target, Sprouts or Buy For Less, but I think that’s a fair price to pay to feel like you haven’t walked into some inescapable white trash wormhole. It’s like each SuperCenter has a giant magnet made of pseudoephedrine that draws in the methheads and people who want to buy Here Comes Honey Boo Boo on DVD.
Another big problem with Walmart stores is they harvest crime like it’s a cash crop. We know this all too well in Oklahoma. It seems like every other day there’s some stupid crime story involving a Walmart. My personal favorite was the time some lady tried to set up a “shake and bake” meth lab in the detergent aisle. I also liked the one where two teenagers were caught spraying deer piss around the store to make it smell better.
Anyway, knowing Oklahoma’s storied relationship with Walmart and all its ilk, it shouldn’t be a surprise the Bloomberg visited Tulsa to do a big story on the retailer’s “Out-of-Control Crime Problem” and how it’s impacting law enforcement and taxpayers.
Here’s a snippet:
Remember the guy on the right? His name is Andrew Speno. He’s standing with a guy dressed like Mark Rodgers and Cardboard Jim Traber at the Gazette’s 2008 “Ghouls Gone Wild Parade,” which is perhaps the most dated thing I’ve written on this site in a while.
Anyway, Speno is a former news anchor for KOKH Fox 25. He was with the Fox affiliate for about 10 years or so, but quit amidst some controversy in 2012 after he got caught up in some office-related HR gossip stuff and made a on-air wise crack about a recently deceased Whitney Houston’s crack pipe.
Since then, Speno’s been making a living the same way most former talking heads do – dabbling in freelance communications, playing the slots at Remington Park, and manning the PA at Edmond high school football games to support Sally Kern’s brother from another mother, Paul Blair.
Via a Hipster Brewer article in NewsOK.com:
If there is one unified summertime tradition that many an Oklahoman partakes in nearly everyday, it’s watching the clock, waiting until it hits two to take a break, jump in the car and head to Sonic for their half-priced happy hour drinks.
Sure, you’re only really saving a dollar and all that sugar-water is going to do is drag you down an hour or so later, but there is something inherently magical about the way Sonic does it. Is it their crushed ice? The Styrofoam cups? Some sort of special cold-water filtration device? What is it about Sonic that makes their drinks taste so much better than anywhere else in town, especially between the absurdly hot hours of 2 to 4 p.m. on August weekdays?
Over the past few weeks, in the name of *ahem* research, I’ve sampled numerous Rt. 44 happy hour concoctions and here’s what I narrowed down to the what I consider the top five most refreshing Sonic beverages for any hot August day.
As you probably know, we are strongly opposed to recreational marijuana use here at The Lost Ogle. This is because
A) Marijuana is evil.
B) The government should always have a say in what type of non-lethal recreational drugs responsible adults chose to put in their body
C) Victimless crimes are the worst types of crimes.
Knowing all that, we’d like to commend a local hunter for not telling us about the large wild marijuana grow he stumbled across on private land just north of Oklahoma City and informing the cops instead. We don’t want to be tempted by a non-lethal, natural drug that makes you feel good and crave junk food.
Via News 9:
As the owner of The Lost Ogle and a promotions coordinator for KFOR, I know it’s hypocritical for me to make fun of another group’s typos. That’s why we created the TLO Typo Disclaimer Rule, and recently stopped printing all of our blog posts on Hanes beefy t-shirts. I’m thinking Yukon Middle School may want to follow our lead.
As students are funneling back into the classrooms, many organizations are working hard to make sure their school spirit shows.
However, one local school district is getting new t-shirts after an ironic mistake was printed on them.
Parents of students at Yukon Middle School recently noticed an error on their new t-shirts.
This shirt includes the slogan, “Execellence in Education.”
That’s embarrassing, but on a positive note, at least they got the school’s name right. Well, at least I think they did. They’re one tiny triangle from being “Yuhon Middle School.”
Anyway, let’s see how the school district is going to explain this one? I wonder if they’ll blame it on Mustang like everything else…
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