The Lost Ogle


Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Oklahoma City is the “most normal” city in the country…

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I guess it’s time to make some “Keep OKC Normal” bumper stickers.

According to this clickbait from the Washington Post, Oklahoma City is apparently the “most normal” place in America. Think about that the next time a guy driving an F-450 Super Duty with truck nuts cuts you off on the highway.

Every place in America is weird for some reason. But some places are a lot weirder than others.

Lyman Stone, a cotton economist who also blogs about migration, has spent a lot of time thinking about this lately. Stone created an impressive data project in May that calculated the most normal and weirdest cities in America, based on 20 different variables drawn from U.S. Census data – including the proportion of the population that is foreign born, married, working, in the armed forces, that own a car, and so on.

According to Stone’s calculations, the weird city in America is San Jose, Calif. – the home of Silicon Valley. The most normal? Oklahoma City, Okla.

That’s awesome. Doesn’t it feel cool to be so normal? I say we all meet at the Chili’s to celebrate!

Here’s the complete list of “Most Normal” cities. Tulsa also popped up on the list:

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KFOR is exposing the hidden dangers of color runs…

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Normally I like to criticize the local media when they run sensational news reports designed to drum up irrational fear and paranoia for the sake of easy TV ratings, but I’m all for it on this one.

Yesterday, KFOR ran a report on the hidden dangers of those annoying, overly cheery color runs that happy people seem to enjoy so much. Apparently the corn starch that Roy G. Biv throws at them while they run through Midtown is extremely flammable and may lead to a hot, fiery, and somewhat colorful, death.

Well, at least that’s what the fearmongers at KFOR are telling us:

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Patrice Douglas got the cushy $250,000 a year TSET job…

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Earlier this week, we told you that TSET was for some reason hiring a new Chief Executive Officer to lead the 22-person organization. The job pays $250,000 a year, because you know, Oklahoma has such an insane budget surplus and can afford just about anything. We asked around the Ogle Mole Network and provided some Dean’s Percentages for who we thought would get the cushy job. The betting favorite was former Corporation Commissioner / failed Congressional Candidate Patrice Douglas.

Here’s what we had to say:

Patrice Douglas

Odds She Gets The Job: 50%

This would make sense. She’s the former mayor of Edmond and a former Corporation Commissioner. In fact, during her brief tenure as Corporation Commissioner, Patrice worked with Continental Resources executives to intimidate State Seismologist Austin Holland and pressure him to NOT link Oklahoma earthquakes to oil and gas activities. That’s a strong qualification. With experience like that, she’ll have no problem helping tobacco companies intimidate, coerce and suppress Oklahoma physicians.

Well, pass the Mazzio’s, call the Fat Jack and play some “Be Happy Friday” music! It’s time to give it up to ourselves. It was announced yesterday that Patrice Douglass, the banker turned lawyer turned politician (this gives her the rare triple crown for reviled occupations), landed the quarter-million dollar gig.

Via NewsOK.com:

Oklahoma Corporation Commissioner Patrice Douglas plans private sector return after term

Outgoing Oklahoma Corporation Commissioner Patrice Douglas said she’s anticipating her return the private sector when her term ends Monday and has no regrets about her stint on the commission.

“I’m excited. My family’s excited. We’re ready to move on,” Douglas said.

The former Edmond mayor, whose business background is in banking and law, served for more than three years on the commission after being appointed by Gov. Mary Fallin in September 2011.

In an interview Thursday after casting her final votes from the commission bench, Douglas remained coy about her next job, saying she would rather not announce it while she’s still a sitting commissioner.

“We’ve been real quiet about it. We’re going to stay that way for a little while,” Douglas said. “It’ll be fun. I’m staying in Oklahoma. My kids are excited about it. We’re ready for the next step. I come from the private sector, and I’m going back to the private sector.”

Oops! My bad! That’s a NewsOK.com article from January 2015 where Patrice brags about how she’s “come from the private sector” and “is going back to the private sector.” I guess the private sector was more challenging than she thought!

Here’s the article from Tuesday about her accepting a $250,000 a year job with a charitable trust…

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10 local beers to try at Oklahoma Craft Beer Festival!

Oklahoma-Craft-Beer-Festival-logo

The annual Oklahoma Craft Beer Festival is upon us!

That’s right. It’s time for Oklahoma’s premiere beer, cider and mead tasting event presented by Tapwerks. There will be three sessions for the festival – Friday ($40), Saturday afternoon ($50), and Saturday night ($40). With each ticket, you can try as many beers as you want for the duration of your session. I like to think of it as a buffet of beer, only unlike other buffets, you won’t have to deal with unsupervised kids sticking their hands into luke warm tubs of mac and cheese.

Because there are so many options of things to try, it’s important that you go in there with a game plan. Don’t get distracted by all the big name beers that you’ve tried a million times before. You don’t want to leave without trying some of the best local brewery offerings. That’s why I’ve made this handy-dandy list of 10 beers you should try at Oklahoma Craft Beer Festival.

old man ogle

10. Anthem Brewing’s Old Man Ogle

Remember Ogletoberfest? Of course you do! It will available in bars and liquor stores in August. Until then, you should probably try TLO and Anthem’s newest collabeeration – Old Man Ogle.

Debuting at the festival, we took some Ogletoberfest and aged it for months in whiskey oak barrels, giving our original Vienna-style twist on Oktoberfest a bolder, more complex flavor. Just like Ogletoberfest, it pairs well with bratwurst, schnitzel and Emily Sutton. A very limited supply should be available in bars and liquor stores soon.

405 Brewing

9. 405 Brewing Co.’s Lime Tart

I’ve known the guys behind 405 ever since I used to bartend for them at the Norman McNellie’s on burger night. I used to tell them that my coworkers were huffing paint. (I had no proof of this, other than a general hunch.) I spent a large chunk of the last Norman Music Fest squirreled away in a loft above an art gallery drinking this Lime Tart, and I feel quite confident that you need to have it as well. Sip it and enjoy, and then imagine adding a shot of tequila to it to make a sort of beergarita. So good.

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8. Coop Ale Works’s Blood Orange Horny Toad

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5 things to do in OKC when your face is melting off

summer

We’ve lucked out with the weather so far this year. The winter was mild, without many snow or ice storms to cripple our chronically under-prepared metro. Early spring brought us enough rain to make the foliage lush, and the temperatures stayed mild. We even made it through May without too many of the usual Level 5 Glitter Tie Killstorms.

But now it’s June, and although we’re technically a week away from the solstice, summer has officially begun in Oklahoma, and it’s already shaping up to be a flaming tire fire. All that pleasant spring rain has manifested into a fertile mosquito breeding ground, and after less than a minute outside, the humidity makes your skin feel slimier than taking a dip in Lake Thunderbird. No amount of Gold Bond can alleviate the body swamp that has consumed you.

It’s enough to make you want to become a shut-in and never leave the house. But if you’re like me and use the OG&E SmartHours, it becomes ungodly expensive to be home on days like today. It’s fine if you like reading a book in a dark sauna, but I’d rather just get out of the house.

So here are some suggestions for activities to distract you from all the bacne, BO, and wedgies that come along with this disgusting weather:

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