Out of all the fancy, glossy, advertorial-style magazines in Oklahoma, I’d say my favorite one is Slice. This is for several reasons, but primarily because I like to flip through the “Mingling” section and play a game of “Guess Who Had Plastic Surgery.” It’s pretty fun. It’s kind of like finding hidden objects in that picture puzzle from Highlights for Children, only you don’t have to go the dentist’s office.
If that sounds dumb, give it a shot. How many examples of plastic surgery can you find in this section from the OKCMOA Renaissance Ball?
First of all, kudos to the fisherman who removed the hook from Tom Love’s mouth. That was nice.
I only spotted three examples of plastic surgery on that spread. That’s actually kind of low. The game really gets fun when they profile a Junior League event. You’ll spot forms of plastic surgery that you never even knew existed.
Plastic surgery hell isn’t the only reason I like Slice. I also enjoy the magazine’s award-winning, poignant profiles on extremely important, intelligent, and handsome Oklahomans you should know about and probably worship. Also, the magazine is good for an unintentional laugh. For example, take this “Christmas By The Numbers” spread…
Last Thursday, Oklahoma City’s finest juvenile delinquents were featured on the new season of “Beyond Scared Straight.”
If you’re not familiar with the show, the gist is pretty simple and formulaic. They take troubled, at risk, belligerent teens, and then put them in pretend jail for a day. While there, everyone from the jailers to the inmates to the janitors try to intimidate, humiliate and “scare strait” the kids by yelling at them, and forcing them to exercise, do chores and eat jail food. At the end of the episode, the kids then go back to a room with their families, have a temporary epiphany, talk about how they learned their lesson, and then everyone gets all emotional and cries before the kids go out and cause trouble again.
Sounds enjoyable, huh? I would say it’s literally the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen, but I watched Bob Stoops elect to re-punt the ball to Tyreek Hill in a football game over the weekend, so that would be a lie.
Anyway, check it out after the jump. It does have one redeemable scene where wannabe juggalo sisters are forced to smear clown paint all over their face. I think we’ve all wanted to watch someone to do that.
“If integrity were celebrity, you’d know our employees by name.”
If you’re an Oklahoma City Thunder fan, there’s a good chance you’ve heard that line a few thousand times in your life. It’s from a dated, still running 2008 Devon Energy commercial that brags about the energy behemoth being named to Fortune’s list of the “Most Admired Companies.” The spot gives us a glimpse of a strange utopia where “Integrity is celebrity,” and people idolize the founding fathers and worship hard-working, selfless individuals like firefighters, EMTs and… energy company executives.
The agency that produced the commercial described it like this:
Devon Energy is the antithesis of a category known for unethical behavior and questionable actions. Devon ranks #1 in Social Responsibility… In their advertising debut Devon wanted to celebrate their culture of doing things the right way and pay tribute to the employees who have made this a company of integrity.
Yes, Devon is the antithesis of a category known for unethical behavior and questionable actions. They are socially responsible, and they do things the right way… like buying off state attorneys general, including our very own Scott Pruitt, in order to advance the company’s own interests over that of the public. You can’t show more integrity than that.
We know all this thanks to a very detailed, exhaustive and probably award-winning investigative piece published in this past weekend’s New York Times. The paper outlines the secret alliance that energy companies like Devon have with attorneys general all over the country. The piece hits Oklahoma Attorney General Scott Pruitt And Devon Energy especially hard. From the start, it chronicles and outlines the duo’s cozy, secretive, “friends with benefits” relationship.
Via The New York Times:
The Sooners led OSU 35-21 with 7:54 to play.
Tyreek Hill returns the ensuing kick off to the 40 of OSU. OSU three and out.
How in the blue hell does OU lose?! No decent team loses this game. But OU is no decent team. They punt with just over 5 minutes in the game. No chance OSU comes back to win.
GAME OVER … Right?!
Mason Rudolph to Brandon Shepard for the score with just under 5 minutes to play. OU goes three and out. No timeouts left for the pokes. Zach Sanchez picks the ball off with three minutes left. OU goes three and out. Punt, OSU runs into the kicker after OSU’s Tyreek Hill fair catches at the 15. And instead of just dealing with the OSU offense at the 15 with no timeouts and under a minute left …
GAME OVER DAMMIT!!!
Oklahoma and Bob Stoops do the unthinkable .. the idiotic – they take the penalty and kick the ball to Hill again. Literally the only guy on the field who shouldn’t have the ball is given the ball is purposely given the ball. In space. Anyone want to venture a guess as to how this worked out?????
It’s a great day to be alive, I guess. If you’re like me, which I assume you’re not because generally there are more functional human beings on Earth than non-functioners like me, then you’re counting up all the paid time off you have left so you can better ration it. More than likely, if you have some, you’re taking it now and are really enjoying life. The rest of us who squandered all those hours a few months ago really hate you guys.
Anyway, as per usual, I’ve gathered up some tweets for your enjoyment. And, as always, they’re right here after the jump!
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