Not to be one of “those” girls, but it’s the most wonderful time of the year. To be clear, I don’t care about pumpkin spice flavored things (GINGERBREAD TIL I’M DEAD) nor do I ever wear a Halloween costume. I just like fall. I’m really in it for the haunted houses/hay rides/forests. My first career goal was to be an actor in a haunted house. That hasn’t really panned out. Like most of my life.
But, as with all good things that we truly enjoy, religion is trying to ruin haunted houses for everyone by turning them into gross morality plays to scare kids into being good people. Because that’s how you make someone good–scare tactics.
Anyway, according to NewsOK.com:
Grab the walking shoes, pop some Rolaids and charge the cell phones! The 2014 Oklahoma State Fair is right around the corner, which means it’s almost time for our one and only Oklahoma State Fair Photo Contest.
Yes, we’re doing it again. This is the 7th consecutive year we have held the competition, and not coincidentally, the seventh consecutive year we have all wondered why Oklahoma hasn’t been kicked out of the United States.
Just like last year, I considered not having the contest because I want to quit while we’re on top, but last year’s photos were so good that it made me think we should keep it around. Plus, I saw this Oklahoma State Fair commercial. They’re essentially begging us to do it:
Seriously, how can you “Get Your Fair On” without the state fair photo contest? It’s almost as important to the fair as corndogs, lukewarm beer and sex offenders.
In case you’re new to the website, the contest is our unique way of glorifying our fine state and the people, places and things that make our state fair the greatest one in the world. It’s hysterical, irreverent, fun, crass, adorable, enlightening, elitist and according to the easily offended, very mean. Basically, it’s everything you love and hate about the internet rolled in one facepalm.
Here’s a breakdown of the contest along with some rules:
1. Go to the Oklahoma State Fair and take photos. In particular, we’re looking for funny / amusing / pics that capture your WTF fair moments, and in particular, the people who come out of the woodwork, deserted trailer park and/or county jail to attend the thing.
p.s. - If you’re not brave enough to take a funny pic yourself, but see a good pic on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, encourage your friend to enter the photo by…)
2. Email those pics to TheLostOgle@gmail.com! You can also send them to us via our “Contact Us” form. When you submit a photo, you are agreeing to enter the contest and give us rights to promote, publish and use your photos on The Lost Ogle. When you send the email, please include your name and contact info. We won’t publish it on the site, we just need it in case you win.
3. Come back in October to vote for your favorites! When the great State Fair concludes, we’ll sort through all the entries and post the 20 best photographs. TLO readers will then vote for their favorites. The six photos that receive the most votes will move on to the finals. The pic that receives the most votes in the finals will be the winner and win the grand prize, which is…
4. Snap the winning pic and you can win a $250 Gift Card to Picasso Cafe in Paseo! Once again, the gang at Picasso’s is offering up a cool prize to whoever takes the best photo. We’ll also find some cool prizes to send to the other finalists.
Got that? Have any questions? Let us know.
Anyway, to get you in the Oklahoma State Fair photo spirit, I thought we’d take a look at last year’s top vote getters. All of these lost to “Bench Warmers” pictured above. As I said, it was a strong year:
I have no clue what’s happening in that pic. I would guess the kid is either motorboating his mom or trying fried breast milk for the first time. He could also be scared that his sister is apparently eating a small owl. I don’t know. Either way, I think I’m going to start a petition to get undercover DHS agents to start roaming the state fair midway. That would be a good thing.
One of the more underrated aspects of all the MAPS projects is that our homeless sex offenders now have plenty of places to bathe in public. For the longest time, they were relegated to back alleys, public pools and Love’s Travel Stop bathrooms. Now it seems like there’s always a fountain, canal or even a river nearby if they ever feel the urge to bath.
David Berens, pictured above, knows this firsthand. He decided to take a shower in the splash pad at the Myriad Gardens.
For the most part, I don’t mind all the stuff atheists do to bring attention to all the perks and benefits organized religion gets in society. It can be funny, but sometimes atheists take things too far.
The driver’s license above is a good example of that. Some atheist from Enid wore a spaghetti strainer of her head for her driver’s license photo claiming it is “religious headwear.” What a rebel.
No, that’s not the title to the most depressing Berenstain Bears book of all time. That would be “Mama Turns to Heroin.” “Mama Bear was fired” is simply an extremely accurate blog headline.
As you’ve probably heard, Noble Schools Superintendent, self-proclaimed “Mama Bear” and Paul’s Beauty College dropout Ronda Bass made the news last week after she bullied, humiliated and insulted her students because they dressed like high school kids.
Not soon after, concerned Noble parents called for her to step down or be fired. They got their wish last night.
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