Happy Monday and welcome to another edition of Monday Morning Tweets. You probably aren’t reading this, or at least all the tweets we get from people who didn’t know they were featured in the column would have us believe that you aren’t reading. And that’s cool, I guess.
Before we dig into this week’s tweets, I thought I should get something out-of-the-way. I admitted on Twitter that I would totally sleep with the tool box from Ghost Adventures on the Travel Channel, and then Tony favorited that tweet for use in this week’s MMT, like I would be shocked or embarrassed or something. Well, the joke’s on him, because if you scroll through the archives, you will see the hundreds of times I’ve admitted to having a crush on Fred Durst over the past four years.
Also, I don’t guess Patrick intended for this to happen, but I think Monday Morning Tweets and the associated Twitter account has now officially become the arena in which Tony and I will battle to the death. Anyway, check out the tweets after the jump.
The blonde babe pictured above is KOKH Fox 25′s Wendy Suares. Well, at least we think it’s Wendy Suares. Some guy on Twitter claimed it was Wendy, and it looks like it could be Wendy, so I guess it’s Wendy. Of course, it could also be Wendy from Wimgo. If it’s not Wendy Suares or Wendy from Wimgo, I blame Fake Joleen Chaney.
Wendy took home the number two spot in our 2013 countdown of the 20 Hottest Women in the Oklahoma City Media. I bring this up because it’s about time for us to release the 2014 rankings. Due to our growth as an apparent statewide media force, I’m considering turning this year’s rankings into a statewide competition. Doing that will give us a larger talent pool and give us a chance to possibly write something positive about Lawton or the Panhandle. If you have any suggestions, nominations or pics out there we should know about, send them our way.
In the meantime, let’s focus on Wendy. She moved to Oklahoma City a year or two ago after working in markets that are somehow worse than Oklahoma City. She’s a cute type of hot and, with all respect, made even hotter by the fact that she seems somewhat attainable by the regular old average guy. Know what I mean. Although they’re on the same level, there’s no way you could ever go out with Joleen Chaney, but you may have a chance with Wendy… if she was available. Need proof?
See what I mean?
Anyway, here are some more pics of Wendy. She’s our Hot Girl Friday.
In retrospect, maybe that dead dog tattoo wasn’t that bad of a decision.
Earlier this week, Wiley Coyrus released a short “film” titled “Blonde SuperFreak Steals the Magic Brain.” I put the word “film” in quotes out of respect to any movie made by Adam Sandler or Michael Bay.
The film, if you want to call it that, is typical Wayne Coyne “shock” art. In case you’re new to the show, that means it’s awful, lacks artistic merit, and was simply made for notoriety and attention. Here’s a synopsis via Billboard:
The five-and-a-half-minute video features Moby as an “evil, power-hungry cult leader,” as Flaming Lips leader Wayne Coyne tells Rolling Stone; Cyrus as the keeper of a magic brain that apparently “contains the original formula for the drug LSD”; and a blonde woman who steals the magic brain, causing Cyrus to lose her mind and enlist “a burned-face Santa and a lesbian Bigfoot” (again, Coyne’s description, not ours) to track it down. The short film is the stuff of nightmares, but then again, dreams are typically more coherent than a series of random shots of exposed breasts, technicolor acid, mushy brains and the Flaming Lips performing amidst cardboard clouds and rainbows.
Yeah, the most absurd thing in all of that is Moby playing the role of an “evil, power-hungry cult leader.” WTF, Moby? Were the Chemical Brothers not available? Was Fatboy slim too busy dancing in the Penn Square Mall food court?
Anyway, here’s the movie. Be warned, it does show a naked lady walking around with a jelly brain, so it’s probably NSFW:
Guess what? I’ve been ruining your weekends for a full year now! Sucks to be you! On Friday, July 12, 2013, an Oklahoma City Q-list celebrity was born. To be clear, I am referring to me.
I introduced you to Steve Stone, Your Favorite Hypnotist, who we know is the real deal because he’s from New Orleans. I also jinxed Team USA to the runner-up position in the World Cup of Softball. As you can see, my power is strong, but I have no idea how to wield it.
I have learned many things as the FNITBT writer. Some sweet Lost Ogle commenters made it clear that I am an “asshat.” I have also broken multiple stories about Patrick, such as his involvement with the Illuminati and his burning of the Lost Ogle compound over Emily Sutton.
I look forward to providing more sights and sounds for your weekends as well as Lost Ogle dirt. Thank you for voting me “Favorite Lost Ogle Writer.”
Note: There has never been a “Favorite Lost Ogle Writer” poll.
This is your Friday Night in the Big Town.
Do you have friends “in low places.” Do you have a “barbecue stain on a white t-shirt?” Have you ever kissed your cousin on the same road you drank your first beer and found Jesus?
If you answered “Yes” to any of the questions, there’s a good chance you are News 9 anchor Amanda Taylor. If you’re not her, then you’re just a good old country livin’, KXY listenin’, meth abusin’ Oklahoman. The Sooner state was recently named by Estately as the number one place in the country where life is most like a country song.
Truck yeah boot skootin woogie forever feels!
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