The Lost Ogle


Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

State Lawmakers want to bring back public prayer at high school playoff games…

jesus-football

“Amen.”

That’s a sound some Oklahoma lawmakers want you to hear before kickoff at high school playoff games.

On Monday, The OSSAA updated / clarified their policy on public prayer at playoff sporting events. The organization basically confirmed a policy decision made in 1992 that determined praising the almighty over an intercom at OSSAA-sanctioned playoff events is not allowed because it violates federal law and some 226-year-old document called the Constitution.

This, of course, irked members of our Legislature’s Derplahoman Caucus. They want to go all OKC Thunder on us and have mass public prayer at playoff events, because you know, the almighty and powerful supernatural being who created this amazing universe really needs to worry about the outcome of a Jenks – Union title game.

Via a press release by state Rep. Bobby Cleveland.

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Please build Davenport Lofts literally anywhere else in Downtown Tulsa

davenport-lofts

The Brady District is a place that many Tulsans hold dear. Stopping by Soundpony while heading to or from a concert at the historic Cain’s ballroom is about as Green Country-centric as eating mac and cheese at the Brook, or holding your breath in fear as you merge onto Highway 51. Sure the area is a little gritty, but that’s what gives the block its character. A prohibition-era swing dance venue that now hosts monthly EDM concerts. Bars and restaurants that look decrepit from the outside, but the inside hosts creative cocktails, modern fixtures, fun events, and a bevy of youthful, energetic patrons. This is urban renewal at its finest–the marriage of new energy and maintaining an area’s vibe, while bringing a healthy dose of integrity to the party.

The fastest way to kill that party? Build a bunch of $450k lofts twenty feet away from a city’s biggest and loudest music district, and market them exclusively to rich empty-nesters.

Written eloquently by my friend Mitchell Gilliam from The Tulsa Voice:
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Steve Shaw likes snakes…

amanda curtis

The girl above is Amanda Curtis. As the News 9 graphic shows above, she hates snakes. We know this thanks to Steve Shaw.

Via News 9:

A close encounter with a large black snake Saturday has a Norman couple thankful for the Norman police.

Amanda Curtis and Devin Valenta are recent OSU grads who just moved into a second-floor apartment off of Cardinal Creek Boulevard a week ago.

Curtis says about 10 p.m. Saturday, the couple were just a few steps from the front door of their apartment, when a six-foot-long black snake — that had wrapped itself around a wreath on their front door — lurched towards Curtis…

I’ll be honest with you. I’m not sure what I’d do if there was a large black snake just hanging around my front door. Everything I know about snakes I learned from watching Snakes on a Plane and Raiders of the Lost Ark. Would I shoot the motherfucker with a .44 Magnum or simply scare it away with a torch? I don’t know. My snake knowledge is limited. I grew up in the city. These people, on the other hand, are former OSU students. They eat tumbleweeds for breakfast and use words like “yonder.” Plus, isn’t Introduction to Animal Control a prerequisite 2000 level class in Stillwater? How did Amanda and Devin handle the situation?

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Don’t hate the jewelry thief, hate the game…

Zales

The mall is the worst place on the planet. It doesn’t matter which one you happen to be in, but it’s full of crowds of people and unsupervised youths and people who aren’t making enough money to justify caring about what kind of black shoes you need to go with your job interview ensemble. And, if you happen to go to the mall on a weekend, you may as well black out a good four hours in your calendar just to purchase one damn thing because the metro area is a sea of humanity, and you totally shouldn’t leave your house on the weekends because there are too many people. (Yes. I know this is probably the sign of some sort of psychological problem, but the mall really sucks.)

Anyway, some people like the mall. Some people like to spend money on things that will distract them on their lifelong journey to the grave. And then, well, some people just like to get those distractions without spending the money.

According to News9.com:

OKLAHOMA CITY – Oklahoma City police said they need the public’s help identifying a bold robbery suspect.

About 11 a.m. Thursday, police said a black male about 5 feet, 5 inches tall in his 20’s walked into the Penn Square Mall and asked a Zales store clerk to see a few rings.

“She took them out of the case. She actually put them on her finger and held her hand out so that he could take a look at the rings,” Oklahoma City police Sgt. Jennifer Wardlow said.

And then police said he grabbed her wrist and yanked the rings right off her finger and made a run for it. Each of the diamond rings were worth $5,700.

He sold two rings?

You can probably assume he’s going to sell the rings on the black market, but that would be too easy. I think the number one way to catch a criminal is to establish a motive, and this dude clearly has two ladies that he wants to be engaged to. So, what officers of the law need to look for is a man who is trying to simultaneously start two families with some pretty expensive rings. (I mean, are we really spending that much on engagement rings these days? I know it’s supposed to be two-months salary, but the father of the bride is also supposed to give the groom’s family a dowry of goats and tracts of land, so let’s be real here.)

While the story laments that there isn’t good surveillance photos of the perpetrator, they don’t even show us pictures of what he stole. I mean, it’s not like it matters, really. But I think there are a lot of women in the metro who would like to know if they’re about to be engaged to a thief. That’s not a man you can bring home to dad.

BMX Bandit robs bank on bike, becomes bane to the Bureau!

bankrob

There’s nary a visit to a bank, convenience store, liquor store or pawn shop where I don’t get caught up in the moment, daydreaming as to what it would be like to rob the place. Looking at the camera set-ups, scouring the exits, wondering what I’d use as a getaway vehicle. And then my number’s called and I’m back in reality, broke as a joke.

We live in desperate times and, increasingly, a desperate city full of desperate men. And pure desperation is probably why this man robbed the UMB Bank in Stockyards City, and then actually took the risk of using a mothereffin’ Mongoose Californian with handlebar-breaks and a sweet vented saddle as his getaway vehicle.

Here’s KOCO’s James Spader in Less Than Zero Morgan Chesky and Mecca Rayne with the full story…

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