School is starting up all across Oklahoma. That means kids are making new friends, parents have more free time, and teachers are forced to get off their lazy asses and get back to work.
To get in the “Back to School” spirit, I have compiled a list of school supplies every Oklahoma student needs to have a great year at school and hopefully learn to read beyond a third grade level.
1. Bulletproof Tornado Blankets
People are being shot by tornadoes at an alarming rate. These fantastic “blankets” will keep your kids safe from being shot by a tornado.
As the teacher above seemed to prove, it is very important to wear pants to school.
It looks like Reed Timmer can finally delete his Tinder profile.
Thanks to the New York Post’s infamous Page 6, we’ve learned that Reed Timmer is dating Fox and Friends weather babe Maria Molina. Yes, Reed Timmer is dating a woman famous enough to be on Page 6. Roll your eyes like a Dominator just passed you in traffic.
Via The New York Post6:
Thank God it’s Monday, am I right? You made it through another weekend and here we are again. I know the day is shaping up to be terrible, but just remember that you can probably find a plate of affordable cheese fries at lunch to make you feel better, and I’ve got a hot serving of OKC social media schadenfreude just waiting for you. Join me as we collectively gird our loins for the week ahead by laughing at the local tweeps. I’ve collected the best tweets from the past week (or at least the ones that caught my eye) and put them right here so you’ll have something to read and laugh at while you ignore the incoming stream of emails and meeting invitations in your Outlook inbox.
As always, they’re right here after the jump!
If you need any proof that there is a God, and that he’s a passive aggressive God with a cruel sense of humor, look no farther than Hinder frontman Austin Winkler.
In a godless Darwinian world, Austin would be changing tires at Freddie’s Discount Tire by day and singing Avenged Sevenfold at Henry Hudson’s karaoke by night. Instead, Austin is a famous, semi-retired, multi-platinum album selling rock star. He’s made millions touring the world singing awful music, doing awful drugs and banging lots of awfully beautiful women. And it’s all thanks to God… right? It has to be.
Of course, you could also say that Austin just made one really sly deal with the devil. I wouldn’t disagree with that argument. I’m sure the devil is a big fan of Hinder’s music. He probably plays Lips of Angel on constant repeat in Hell’s waiting rooms. Also, despite how obnoxious God may be, I don’t think he would rub it in like this. Then again, God apparently causes natural disasters and crime, so what do I know:
Yeah, that’s Austin’s wedding song for his hot ass wife Jami Miller-Winkler. I think it’s called “I can’t fucking believe this either, so let me sing an awful song about it.”
Jami is an L.A.-based model. Like most models, Jami has an Instagram page, and like most hot models, she’s obsessed with taking selfies that all kind of look the same. Check some of them out and praise God or the Devil after the jump, because Jami Miller-Winkler is our hot girl Friday:
Okay, that headline is extremely misleading. I’m just pretending I work for an Oklahoma City TV station and have no clue what a viral video is.
Yesterday, I stumbled across this story on KOCO Channel 5. They were claiming there’s a viral video of an Oklahoma baby laughing at a football.
VIRAL VIDEO: Oklahoma baby laughing over football
At least one Oklahoma baby is excited for the upcoming football season.
The baby, whose video has started to go viral on Youtube, is laughing at people in the background playing with a football.
Cameron Ball is from Shawnee. His parents were in the background throwing the football back and forth while he was laughing.
Ball was 8 months old when the video was made.
His parents said the video was featured on The Today Show.
First of all, I should admit that I have a major aversion to baby sounds. They’re like my own personal kryptonite. It doesn’t matter if the baby is crying, laughing or reciting the Canterbury Tales in Middle English, it all sounds the same to me. I’d rather listen to a Dave Matthews Live album than a bunch of babies being babies. That’s how much they scare me.
That being said, I’m also sucker for good viral videos that involve kids, and yes, I know how creepy that sounds. Remember when that kid got stoned at the dentist? Hysterical! Or what about the time that baby fell in the gorilla pit at the zoo? Charming. And who can’t laugh at the newest viral video star Apparently Kid? Did you know he’d never been on live television before?
But enough about that stuff, check out Channel 5′s viral video. When you do, keep in mind it has about 3,000 views and was posted on August 5th, 2013. Yes, 2013. It’s literally averaging about 10 views a day, which is about as viral as bacterial infection:
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