The Lost Ogle


Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Warning: Block your neighbor’s tacky Halloween decorations with trash cans at your own risk…

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Channel 5 sure knows a good Halloween decoration news story when they see it.

On October 11, the Oklahoma City news channel did a piece on some Edmond man’s Halloween lawn decorations that included a cheesy Obama tombstone. I guess some neighbor complained that it took “Halloween too far,” because apparently an annual celebration where people dress up like dead celebrities, Ebola zombies, murder victims, sluts, and even wear black face, has some sort of limitations when it comes to appropriateness.

Naturally, the story went national and probably got KOCO some decent web traffic and video views. Looking for similar success, they decided to tell us about some more Halloween decoration drama on Friday. This time around, it had to do with a fireman losing his cool when his neighbor blocked Halloween decorations with a trash can.

Via KOCO.com:

An Oklahoma City firefighter was arrested late Thursday night on complaints of assaulting a neighbor. According to police, it all started over Halloween decorations.

Matthew Jones worked hard on his haunted Halloween home in southeast Oklahoma City. It’s covered in ghosts, ghouls, spiders and other decorations. When a neighbor put two large trash cans in front of his beloved display, he got angry.

“I admit I was frustrated,” Jones said during a phone interview. “I kicked the trash can over and started the altercation as far as kicking the trash cans but at no point did I ever take a swing at him.”

The neighbor asked not to be identified. He claimed he came running out of his home when he heard his trash cans fall over.

The neighbor reported Jones pushed him and called him a racial slur. Jones claimed he was protecting himself and denied using the slur.

The police report said that Jones called the neighbor the N-word.

“I did not. I called him other words but as far as I recall I did not say that word,” Jones said.

Jeff Damron lives across the street and had no idea there was a problem.

“I was pretty shocked and surprised. It’s a really nice neighborhood,” he said.

Jones faces a city charge of assault and battery.

I can see the fireman’s frustration. If I spent all day building a Halloween nativity scene graveyard in my front yard, and then my jealous neighbor had the audacity to block it with his trash cans on trash day, I’d, uhm, well, think that was totally normal and not think about it.

But who knows. Maybe I’m wrong. Let’s see what this yard and Halloween decorations look like:

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College Football Musings from the Train: Week 8

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10) The meltdown

It is October 18th, 2014 and I have no idea whether the University of Oklahoma is any good at football. I thought they were pretty good….one month ago. Now two losses and a ridiculous win later, I have my doubts whether this team is any better than the 2013 or even 2009 squads.

Saturday afternoon, at home mind you, Oklahoma out gained Kansas state by 200, won the time possession by five minutes, and committed only three penalties, yet lost 31-30 on what can accurately be described as a colossal meltdown of global proportions. The offense committed monumental mistakes. The defense was hideous the first 40 minutes. Special teams … a shitshow. It was a total loss by what I thought was a pretty good team entering October.

The Sooners were pwned in the first half until a final drive to end the first 30 minutes, which ended in a shanked field goal and pretty sums up the 2nd half. Despite rushing for nearly 200 yards and passing for over 300, the offense was unable to overcome a pick six and an insanely idiotic reverse pass INT in the end zone, as well as a terrible defense, losing 31-30 to Kansas state on homecoming no less.

At some point OU fan must succumb to the realization that Mike Stoops has done a terrible job with this defense. This is the most talented OU defense in a least a decade, and they can’t stop anyone. They made Texas look good and Kansas State’s QB look like the second coming of Johnny Manziel. They can rush the passer (when allowed). They do an average job against the run. But they are horrible … HORRIBLE … defending the pass. There is no one at the back of this defense that can cover anyone with a pulse, save Zach Sanchez. Ahmad Thomas can’t be the best Stoops can put out there. I can’t be convinced he’s the best free safety on this team. It just isn’t possible.

This team is schizophrenic. I don’t know what to expect drive to drive, much less game to game.

Of course, if the offense could just stop doing stupid shit …

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9) Trevor Knight and the play calls

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Monday Morning Tweets

Happy Monday, and welcome to my birthday week, everyone! As I get ready to celebrate entering the last year of my twenties, I’d like to invite you all to drink recklessly and max out your credit cards as well. It won’t keep you young forever, but at least it will numb the pain of aging for like, a day. If you’d like to get me a present, I’d like a locally-owned coffee shop in the I-40 and Meridian area, or for Molly Murphy’s to reopen so I can have my birthday party there. If you can do neither of these things, then I know you really don’t care about me. (Side note: if you’re looking to open a local coffee shop and are thinking of doing so in the I-40 and Meridian area…don’t. Like, it’s not worth it to you. I would love it, but I can drink 7-Eleven coffee instead. No need for you to waste your livelihood in an area of the city that God has completely forgotten.)

Anyway, as always, I’ve got your weekly tweets after the jump!

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Hot Girl Friday: Linda Le

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Once again, we’ve been running “Hot Girl Friday” for nearly five months and have yet to get a local hot girl / part-time Twin Peaks waitress to submit a Chive-style selfie with the acronym K.C.O.O. (Keep Calm and Ogle On) written somewhere on her body with a magic marker.

Since we’re obviously doing something wrong, I went to The Chive and searched “Oklahoma” thinking I’d find dozens of photo galleries with titles like “Oh, What a Beautiful Morning: 27 Hot Oklahoma Girls to Start Your Day” or “27 Sooner Squishies for College Football Saturday.”

Instead, I came across a bunch of posts about Moore tornado fundraising efforts and a listicle about Linda Le (pictured above):

Alright Chivers, last week we were sent a photo of an anonymous hot chick, she became known as the ‘Boom Headshot’ girl. After we posted that pic, we received over a hundred emails from ya’ll wanting to know who she was, or in the words of Chiver Mark Arnolds, “Find her. now. And bring her to me.”

Because theCHIVE is made of awesome we’ve tracked her down. Meet Linda Le. Linda lives in San Francisco, California via Oklahoma and describes herself as a “stylist, model, nerd, and gamer junkie.” Her versatile look and Anime allure has earned her quite a cult following under the alias ‘Vampy’. Having spoken to her a couple times now, I can tell ya’ll she’s a class act, funny and smart and not a single ounce of bitchy, which is nice. But now she’s arrived at theCHIVE, the world’s biggest madhouse of judgment. So what say you, Chivers?

San Francisco via Oklahoma? That sucks. You know how local politicians and civic leaders always say that we need to come up with a way to keep young, talented, educated Oklahoma college graduates from fleeing for other states? Well, I propose we look at trying to keep some of our hot chicks, too. Seriously, every time I find a hot girl from Oklahoma for this series it seems like they were born here and then moved away whenever they got a chance. For Linda, that chance was when she was a little kid:

Born in Okmulgee, Oklahoma to a family of Vietnamese immigrants,[6] Le moved to and grew up in San Jose, California,[3] where she graduated with business degree from San Jose State University while doing various odd jobs.[9] She later studied hairstyling from Paul Mitchell’s the U.S. and at Toni & Guy in London[6] as well as in Tokyo,[4] before returning to America where she began teaching makeup and modeling. She has been dressing up as classic anime and video game characters since she was 12.[7]

That’s from Linda’s Wikipedia page. Yes, she really has a Wikipedia page… and we don’t. Maybe we need to spend our time working on more important things than getting hot girls to write K.C.O.O. on their bodies and email us. Just kidding. We know what’s important.

Anyway, Linda apparently goes by the pseudonym Vampy. She is big on the cosplay circuit and is really popular, for obvious reasons, on Instagram and YouTube.

She’s also our Hot Girl Friday:

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Friday Night in the Big Town: Beetlejuice, a Carrie Musical and a Corn Maize

NewsOK’s polls are the best. They dig deep into the average Oklahoman’s psyche to see what’s on our minds, our opinions on newsworthy events, and what makes us tick. I cannot live through a day without a dose of the mind-churning reflection these questions provide.

For example, as of this moment, which is way too late, or early Friday morning, our state’s foremost news source asks us this philosophical question:

“Have you been to every county in Oklahoma?”

Did you feel that shockwave of Platonian dialogue in your chest? If you did not, you aren’t truly living. How about this enigmatic question from yesterday?

“Do you like pumpkin pie?”

I bet that one made you question your belief in God. It is said that the critical thinking skills of today’s youth are not properly tested. Yesterday, reports from this same news source said that for the second straight year, Oklahoma ranks number one in student spending cuts.

To that I say “hooray!” We should cut more. Let’s just send our students to the NewsOK poll three times a day and let their mind be blown. Heck, all we will need to provide is a cheap Acer tablet, a half-pint of chocolate milk and a fruit roll-up.

See, it’s fixed. I don’t see what all the commotion is about.

Here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.

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