In the endless Tulsa vs OKC debate, my trump card has always been QuikTrip. What’s not to love? Well-lit premises, a variety of fresh and processed foods, the candy bar rack practically glows, and the actually carry Core Powers!
In honor of my favorite snack stop, I thought I’d power rank some of the most noteworthy foods QuikTrip has served over the recent years. Feel free to chime in and let me know what some of your favorite (or least favorites) are.
10. Buffalo Chicken Roller
Of all the frankendelicacies Quiktrip has exposed us to (cheese burger, loaded potato, and mac and cheese rollers just to name a few) the buffalo chicken concoction makes my list solely because it was the freakiest. Picture chicken nugget meat meal, molded into a cylindrical patty, dunked in hot sauce, frozen, then rotated over and over again on what the execs at QT deemed a “roller grill” until they’re toasty. They’ll remain on that nifty invention until some stoned dude moseys in with a hankerin’ for something spicy and the Hot Fries are all out. In other words, they’ll remain there for an eternity.
9. QT Kitchens Pre-Packed Sandwiches
Kudos to QT sandwiches, they’ve done nothing if not stood the test of time. Despite the weird mushy yet dry texture of the bread, Tulsans will find themselves eating a QT Club Sandwich at least thrice yearly. To busy to eat a proper lunch? QT roast beef sammich. Need a snack you can throw in your girlfriend’s purse for a movie? Turkey on a croissant. Drunk in the middle of the night? Ham and cheese, baby.
The guy pictured above who looks like he teaches 8th grade science is US Congressman Steve Russell. He represents the Oklahoma 5th Congressional District that covers most of the OKC Metro and the Shawnee-Seminole-Wewoka triangle, otherwise known as Shawnoleka.
If you forgot about Steve or have never heard of him, don’t feel too bad. You’re not the only one. Since he was elected in 2014, he’s done a remarkable job staying quiet, flying under the radar, and not letting stupid things come out of his mouth that bring shame and embarrassment to our state.
For an Oklahoma citizen, that’s a good thing. But for an Oklahoma politician, it’s a ticket out of office. If you’re not out pandering and showing everyone how crazy you are, the voters in this state will elect someone who will. As a result, it looks like Steve is trying to get his name out there a bit.
Last night, News 9 brought us a nice little fluff piece about Steve. In an interview with Kelly Ogle, he talked about everything from being a hard worker to killing a man in close combat to finding Saddam Hussein (a.k.a. important, relevant issues that matter to Oklahomans).
Kelly Ogle: What would surprise the average Oklahoman the most if you said ‘I want you to sit in this chair a week?
Russell: “I think there are several things. The hours that we put in, they would be shocked. I mean, you literally are working from sun up to way past sundown. I think that they would also recognize that even when you’re off, you’re not. You’re a public figure, a public face, people recognize you and even though they may not bother you or say anything, you are constantly on the job and you know I’m comfortable with that.”
He and his wife Cindy have five grown children and are now empty-nesters.
“We enjoy being together, she also is excited that we’re doing this, that we’re a partnership together but if she feels the need to travel home, she will and not be ashamed to spend time with the kids,” he said.
Kelly Ogle: What are you wearing on your lapel?
Russell: “I’m wearing the combat infantry badge. You get that with close quarters fighting with an enemy and it usually resorts in somebody dying.”
He earned the badge in Iraq. His military career also including tours in Afghanistan, Kuwait and Kosovo.
Kelly Ogle: Do people still come up to you and want to talk about Saddam Hussein?
Russell: “All the time.“
Just like me, I’m sure most Oklahomans value and respect Steve’s strong work ethic, military background, and boring empty-nester status, but respect gets you nothing nowadays. To really get the attention of Oklahoma voters, you need to piss off a demographic like minorities, women or homosexuals. When they hate you, the Derplahoman voting base will love you more!
Steve’s obviously picked up on this. The same day News 9 aired the fluff piece, word leaked out that Steve wants to know if two celebrated female soldiers received special treatment at Army Ranger school, because you know, women receiving special treatment in the military is a crisis facing our country that must be dealt with immediately.
Like any fan of the show, Parks and Rec, I am oft wont to treat myself. It’s moderately embarrassing to think about how many fine leather goods I’ve purchased over the past month, but whatever. You only live once, and what else would I do with the money anyway? Put it in savings? That’s boring. Besides, that’s kind of the point of treating yourself, you know, spending your money on you.
However, there are those who like to treat themselves without actually having the money. And no, I’m not referring to people who put everything on credit cards. According to KOCO.com:
Crazed lunatics like Donald Trump don’t just make it to places like the Oklahoma State Fair on their own. It takes a special, equally crazy brand of nut jobs and supporters to bring him here. Thanks to this Facebook post by Ralph Shortey, we know who these people are:
Wow. That’s like a who’s who list of Derplahoman leaders! I wonder if all of them will be at the fair for Trump’s visit, or will one person have to stay behind to guard the secret Agenda 21 documents, monitor Chemtrails and nervously watch illegal immigrants mow their lawn.
Anyway, I thought it would be fun to meet and reintroduce ourselves to the chairs of this committee. Let’s begin with the committee’s mouth-breathing chairman and TLO material provider State Senator Ralph Shortey:
There’s a new movie being filmed in Oklahoma! This time it’s a biopic about Philadelphia abortion doctor Kermit Gosnell. Sounds fun, doesn’t it?
In case the name doesn’t ring any bells, Kermit Gosnell was convicted in 2013 of first degree murder of three infants, involuntary manslaughter of one of his adult patients, 21 felony counts of illegal late-term abortion, and 211 counts of violating the 24-hour informed consent law. I won’t go into detail about the atrocities he committed. You can look those up on your own. His medical practice was a complete fraud. He preyed on vulnerable women who had no money and no options. Many of his patients were immigrants without access to legitimate care.
Here’s a description of the film by BAM at NewsOK.com:
“Gosnell” is based on the true story of Dr. Kermit Gosnell, an abortion doctor in Philadelphia who was convicted of murder in 2013 based on his unlawful practices during abortion procedures which resulted in multiple deaths. Described by Terry Moran, co-anchor of ABC’s Nightline, as “America’s most successful serial killer,” Gosnell is suspected of killing hundreds, perhaps thousands, during his practice, which he ran for nearly 30 years. The film tells the story of the detectives and prosecutors who finally brought Gosnell to justice.
The film has already raised over $2 million dollars via Indiegogo, after being blocked by KickStarter for violating community guidelines. Reading the Indiegogo page makes it obvious that these filmmakers aren’t here to shed light on a story that didn’t receive enough media coverage. Much like us, they’re here with a political axe to grind!
So while this little project is currently filming in my state, I would like to ask a few questions about the movie:
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