If I were a liar, I’d tell you that I took one for the team and skipped the Game of Thrones premiere to catch the 2014 American Country Music awards. You know, in order to get the scoop first hand and give you guys a full and informed recap. A liar might also say that they begrudgingly missed the national championship to instead watch the Fashion Police breakdown of the ACMs on Monday, to learn what designers and jewelry supplied the stars with their fabulous ensembles.
The truth is, none of things are true. I spent Sunday night watching Desperate Housewives on Netflix and Monday night teaching my puppy how to not hump anything in the house that’s taller than him. Regardless of being comically uninformed, this still shouldn’t really hinder my ability to hook you up with everything you need to know about the Red State Grammys.
Let’s start with our girl Carrie Underwood:
When was the last time you were inconsolably sad about something that was out of your control? For me, it’s kind of an every 20-minutes sort of thing where I have to cry because the fairy tales were all lies and life is an eternal sadness loop punctuated by moments of really hysterically funny things, like strangers falling down and my dog chasing her tail. It’s not healthy, but no one has every really looked at me and said “wow, that’s an emotionally healthy person.”
So, imagine how my heart broke under the weight of this news. From NewsOK.com:
Dave Ross, a “comedian on the rise” from Los Angeles, will be visiting Oklahoma this week as part of his barn busting nationwide tour. Let’s be sure to impress him with our friendliness, flatness and lack of traffic.
I sent our new TLO Intern – a title I just gave him – Josh Lathe to his Gmail account to conduct a Q&A with Dave. It’s part of our new series, “Comedians you probably haven’t heard of, but need to check out live in case they make it really big so you can say you liked them first.”
Here it is:
Q: You host the podcast Terrified with Dave Ross on The Nerdist Network. Does anything you’ve heard about Oklahoma actually terrify you?
A: I’m kind of scared of vegetables?
Q: What’s your favorite Oklahoma stereotype?
A: I’m gonna be honest: I have absolutely no preconceptions about Oklahoma. I’ve never heard any stereotypes! I suppose I’ve heard it’s pretty and that there are farms. So I guess I think it’s cool that it’s pretty and I hopefully will not be forced to work on a farm.
Q: You’re basically touring the whole country in 3 months. Are there any particular places you’re excited about visiting?
A: Oh man, a lot of it. There are tons of places like Tulsa and OKC that I’ve never been to, and that’s always exciting. I’ve always loved traveling and meeting people. Plus, living in the city, I don’t get to see this country much, or really nature at all, and so much of America is really beautiful. You know, like that song. Like my favorite song, America the Beautiful.
I’m really, really, REALLY excited about Madison and the week after that in Iowa, Missouri and Illinois, because I’ll be opening for Kyle Kinane that week. Kyle’s a friend of mine, and a great dude, and also one of my favorite comics, so it’s gonna be crazy fun.
TLO hasn’t had a good sports article since college football left us. Since the NCAA men’s basketball championship was last night, I thought it would be a good idea to write about my beloved Kentucky Wildcats and their keys to losing the championship!
1) Coach Kevin Ollie
Former Thunder benchwarmer coached his team to victory by having Shabazz bully Ryan Boatwright in front of God and everyone. Kevin Ollie got the coaching job at UConn because of his life changing head rubs, and because Coach Calhoun left after he realized he’d saved enough to retire. With his first national championship, Coach Ollie now has a better chance of making it into the Hall of Fame than Eddie Sutton.
2) Shabazz Napier’s mom
Doesn’t she look like the type of person who would be unbelievably rude to her server at Applebee’s? Just think of what she’d do to Shabazz if he didn’t hit some unbelievable shots?
The lady pictured above is Heather Lynn Hall.
She provided some free entertainment to Penn Square Mall shoppers – and made a mall cop’s ultimate fantasy come true – after she was caught shoplifting from The Buckle on Saturday.
Here’s what happened. Heather shoplifted. Heather was caught. Heather, going off instincts, removed her top and wrestled with a very panicked mall cop until authorities arrived. It’s the most interesting thing to happen inside Penn Square Mall cop since the Build-A-Bear riots of 2008.
Joleen Chaney has all the details about the incident, including some video.
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