The Lost Ogle


Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

How do we feel about gourmet burger bars?

Cheese-Gourmet-Burgers

You’ll all be happy to know that Tulsa’s Brookside is about to welcome another burger restaurant. I know, I know–Tulsa needs another hamburger joint about as much as we need another mega church or QuikTrip, but this one will totally be new and innovative and radically different!!

From the Tulsa World:

Read More

The local media doesn’t want us to be worried about the Purge that isn’t happening…

the purge

Earlier this week, some internet hoax threatening a purge made its way to town. Normally, it wasn’t anything you’d take seriously, but fortunately for all of us, we have the Oklahoma City media to warn us about the non-threat and then tell us everything will be fine.

Via KFOR:

One of the latest internet hoaxes has some Oklahomans a little scared.

Images circulating on social media warned Oklahomans that a real-life version of the movie “The Purge” was set to take place at the end August.

In “The Purge” films, the government sanctions an annual 12-hour period in which any and all criminal activity becomes legal.

However, the images are part of a series of internet hoaxes most likely inspired by a Kentucky high school student.

According to KDVR, purge threats in Kentucky, Ohio, Florida, Michigan and Illinois were all found to be unsubstantiated.

So no worries Oklahomans, the real life purge is not happening.

I like how the KFOR Social Media Bandit mentions that some Oklahomans are “a little scared,” and then fails to interview or find one Oklahoman who is actually “a little scared.” They just simply posted tweets from people who were sarcastically laughing at the hoax. Seriously, who other than a Red Dirt Report reader is really worried that a real life purge is going to happen? Is it you, KFOR Social Media Bandit? Are you the one who’s “a little scared?” Did you write all this because you need assurance from others that it is indeed a prank?

If so, today’s your lucky day. KOCO sent Brian Schlonsky – yeah, that’s his real name – to Norman to investigate the “mysterious” flyers that even David Stanley would find sketchy. Here’s the video:

Read More

18 Racist Derplahoman Facebook Comments About The OKC Zoo’s New Baby Gorilla…

Last Saturday, this cute, yet somewhat terrifying baby gorilla was born at the Oklahoma City Zoo. She weighed 4-pounds and probably needs her eyebrows trimmed:

oklahoma city baby gorilla

Unfortunately, the baby’s mom decided to take advantage of our state’s “Safe Haven” laws and abandoned her child.

Via News 9:

The Oklahoma City Zoo and Botanical Garden welcomes a new member to the family. A female Western lowland gorilla was born in the early hours of Saturday, August 16, inside a Great EscApe day room to mother Ndjole and father Togo.

The baby gorilla weighed a little more than four pounds at birth, and she appears healthy and strong. However, zoo officials said the mother has not demonstrated any signs of maternal care toward her baby since giving birth, and the Zoo’s veterinarian team and gorilla keepers have made the decision to hand rear the infant.

“Ndjole was given several opportunities to bond with her baby within the first 24 hours and didn’t show any interest in her, putting the newborn’s life at risk,” said OKC Zoo Veterinarian Dr. Jennifer D’Agostino.

According to officials, caregivers will provide around-the-clock care for the infant gorilla in an off-exhibit area in Great EscApe to keep the baby in close proximity to other gorillas. It is the Zoo’s goal to explore every option to reunite the infant with other gorillas as soon as possible.

That’s depressing. Ndjole better return all the gifts the other female gorillas gave her at the baby shower. You can’t keep the stuff if you reject the baby.

Obviously, once news broke that a cute little baby gorilla was born at the zoo, the social media bandits from all four TV news stations pounced on the clickable OMG! CUTE! ADORABLE! story and posted it on Facebook. As we know, there’s nothing they love more than a like-inducing post about an animals.

Unfortunately, this woke up some Derplahomans who were sound asleep in their double wides. Never afraid to share their racist, 19th century views on the world, they took a break from sewing confederate flags to dazzle us with their sophisticated humor.

Here are 18 totally real Facebook comments I took from the Channel 4, Channel 5 and Channel 9 Facebook pages.

richard faulkner oklahoma facebook

clayton pelfrey oklahoma facebok

seth wilson oklahoma facebook

Read More

David Stanley was fined $350,000 for misleading, deceptive advertising…

david stanley

Did you hear about David Stanley Chrysler Jeep Dodge getting hit with that record fine for airing deceptive and misleading commercials?

What’s that? You get most of your news from the Oklahoma City media, plus you’ve gone deaf from listening to all the obnoxious David Stanley commercials they play night and day? Oops. Sorry about that. Should have known.

In what appears to be a TLO exclusive, we’ve learned via the Ogle Mole Network that David Stanley Chrysler Jeep Dodge agreed to pay a $350,000 fine in March of 2014 for allegedly violating eight state regulations designed to protect consumers from misleading advertising practices.

According to this document that is just hanging out on the server at BartlesvilleRadio.com, the violations include deceptive, inaccurate and bait-and-switch forms of advertising.

The commercials in question ran in January 2014 and offered eye rolling, too-good-to-be-true, only-Grant-Long-would-fall-for-this deals that offered to pay $18,000 in the car buyer’s credit card debt if they bought a car.

I forwarded the settlement agreement to one of my lawyer friends, Attorney Jacob Rowe, and this is what he had to say:

These ads together make it look to the layman that David Stanley was going to take $12k off the sticker price of a truck and pay $18K worth of credit cards to boot. They also made it appear that the $18k deal was for all new vehicles. It also looks like they only had two vehicles that were subject to the promo.

I checked YouTube for the commercials, but they’re gone. I did find a similar promotion offering to pay off $20,000 in credit card debt. Here it is:

Read More

James Lankford doesn’t understand Dr. Seuss

As we like to remind you, Oklahoma has some pretty stupid politicians. Therefore, you shouldn’t be surprised when they start quoting Dr. Seuss on Facebook:

james lankford abortion

Geeze, let’s hope nobody ever reads to him the Berenstain Bears classic “Mamma Gets an Abortion.” James may pass out.

The problem with Lankford using this often recited quote is that Dr. Seuss was apparently pro-choice. Also, he was very much against other people using his work to further their political agenda. Check out this NPR report from the premier of the “Horton Hears a Who” movie:

ZoBell, an attorney, has represented the interests of Dr. Seuss, or Theodor Geisel, for some 40 years. After the show, ZoBell saw the demonstrators handing out anti-abortion flyers designed to resemble movie tickets. Geisel’s widow, Audrey Geisel, was there — and ZoBell says none of this sat well with her.

“She doesn’t like people to hijack Dr. Seuss characters or material to front their own points of view,” ZoBell said.

Some anti-abortion Web sites say Audrey Geisel supports Planned Parenthood. ZoBell says he’s never discussed such matters with her or her late husband, and that the Geisels never wanted Dr. Seuss characters used to advance any political purpose. But it happens more often than you might think.

So the pro-life movement accuses Dr. Seuss’s widow of supporting Planned Parenthood, but still uses his words for their movement? That would be like Gandhi using quotes from Hitler… or maybe Eva Braun would be more accurate.

Honestly, I’m not 100% sure what Horton Hears a Who is about. I think Dr. Seuss was trying to say that midgets are people… not fetuses. But one thing I am sure about is James Lankford should write his own stuff instead of twisting around the words of others. Here’s an example:

A person’s a person, no matter how small.
In fact, I have millions and they’re inside my ball.

Women aren’t smart, as it says in the Bible.
But don’t quote me on that because it is libel.

I won’t let women choose what they do with their body,
because I get money from the Hobby Lobby.

So what goes through James Lankford’s head when reading Dr. Seuss books? I’m glad you asked, I’ve compiled a list of them:

Read More