Here’s some good, happy news for your Friday.
We’ve learned that Rit Mathis, the new television face of the Mathis Brothers furniture empire and lord paramount of the Renolands, is engaged. His bride to be is Bianca Tizzone. Here are a couple of pics of the beautiful couple:
Let’s give Rit Mathis some credit on this one. Sure, it’s probably easier for high-borns with Lady Americana blood in their veins to score beautiful blonde beauties than us common folk, but she’s quite a catch. I bet he followed her around for three hours bugging her like a Mathis Brothers salesman before she even agreed to go out with him. As the Mathis Brother business model shows, persistence must payoff.
Anyway, Bianca is a former golfer turned model turned realtor turned probable Junior League provisional. According to this 2007 YouTube video that was probably shot in Jack McBride’s bachelor pad, Bianca moved to Oklahoma from South Africa when she was 10, attended Heritage Hall high school, and wrestles alligators on the weekend. Like most hot blondes with ridiculous bodies who are named Bianca, she also has an Instagram page with a bunch of quality pictures. Here are some of them. Bianca is our Hot Girl Friday:
Let’s give a big, friendly Oklahoma welcome to our state’s newest celebrity resident!
Earlier this month, adult film star Teanna Trump (real name: Keanna Nichele Jones) was sentenced to six months in jail after she was busted with six pounds of pot during a March traffic stop, because you know, pot is deadly, dangerous substance that kills tens of thousands of people multiplied by zero each year.
The Video Vigilante, our main competitor in the “people who get paid to have sex” newsbeat, has all the snarky details:
A 20-year old pornstar from Indiana is currently a guest of the Oklahoma County Jail as she awaits formal sentencing stemming from her 2015 arrest in OKC for marijuana possession — And we’re not talking personal use amounts either.
According to court records, on March 7, 2015, at about 9 p.m., Keanna Nichele Jones, aka Teanna Trump, was pulled over by a member of the Oklahoma County Sheriff’s Office on I-40 near Agnew.
Jones, whose IMBb profile lists her as an “actress” with such filmography credits as “Brown Sugar Fuck Dolls,” “Jizz My Glasses” and “We Fuck Black Girls 5” — all Academy Award contenders I’m certain — was driving through Oklahoma with a guy by the name of Edward Earl Arnold, 30, of Hollywood.
That’s nice. I like how the guy who has a YouTube page filled with videos that he’s shot of street hookers giving back alley BJs to John’s in southwest Oklahoma City – all Academy Award contenders I’m certain – is making fun of Ms. Trump’s porn filmography. Come on Video Vigilante! You’re an amateur porn auteur! Don’t be a hypocrite and mock this artist who is being unreasonable punished for simply having six pounds of a non-lethal substance that is legal to possess in half of our states.
Here are more details about the arrest and sentencing:
TLO loves a good clickbait study. Let me rephrase that. TLO loves clickbait studies. “Good” isn’t a proper adjective to describe these reports, neither is the word “study.” As evidence of our fondness, I present to you exhibit A, B and C.
By way of KOCO.com, a study came across the FNITBT desk that we find relevant to our cause. The self proclaimed career experts at Zippia.com ranked the most stressed cities in Oklahoma. To determine these anxious towns, Zippia compared the percentage of population with commutes over 30 minutes, unemployment rates, hours worked, population density, percentage of income spent on rent and percentage of population without health insurance. All statistics were taken from the 2010-2014 U.S. Census’ American Community Survey
So what city hates life the most? The honor goes to the 8,499 people of Wagoner. The Wagoners I visit when buying gas while traveling to and from Arkansas are suffering on all fronts. 51.3% pay high rent, 43.7% have long commutes and 24.3% aren’t insured.
If the study has any validity, it’s small town Oklahoma who’s unhappiest. All towns in the top 10 have populations under 20,000, though Warr Acres is basically OKC. The metros fared better with OKC ranking 24th and Tulsa outside the top 25.
For those of you in Wagoner, since you don’t mind long commutes, here are three events here in OKC that should help you take a load off. As far as gas cost reimbursement goes, talk to Patrick.
Here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town….
Last year, US Congressman Jim Bridenstine – the baby-faced Derplahoman of our congressional delegation – was the subject of an ethics investigation after he took an all-expenses paid trip to Azerbaijan that was secretly funded by Azerbaijan’s state-run oil company.
The Hill provided an update on the story earlier today. Apparently, Bridenstine and other politicians had to return a bunch of gifts they received:
Lawmakers turned over gifts after secretly funded trip to Azerbaijan
Lawmakers who took a trip secretly funded by the government of Azerbaijan turned over jade earrings, tea sets, silk scarves, woven rugs and other gifts to the government after a watchdog report called the trip improper.
The list of gifts returned to the General Services Administration (GSA), which was obtained by The Hill through a Freedom of Information Act request, fills in more details about the trip to a 2013 conference in the Azerbaijan capital of Baku.
In all, nine current member of Congress and 32 staff members attended the conference, each receiving thousands of dollars’ worth of gifts, according to the Office of Congressional Ethics (OCE). Some of the lawmakers also went to Turkey after the conference in Baku and received additional gifts on that stop.
The OCE report on the trip was submitted to the House Ethics Committee on May 8, 2015, but was leaked to The Washington Post, which revealed the details of the report days later.
Roughly a week before the House Ethics Committee released its report detailing its findings in July 2015, members of Congress who had taken the trip began returning the gifts they had received.
Reps. Yvette Clarke (D-N.Y.), Jim Bridenstine (R-Okla.), Michelle Lujan Grisham (D-N.M.) and Rubén Hinojosa (D-Texas) all turned over gifts to the House clerk, who then handed them over to the GSA in October 2015, according to records obtained by The Hill.
I know Bridenstine was relatively new to congress when all this happened, but what was he thinking? Doesn’t he know that only American-based oil companies are legally allowed to buy, coerce, and secretly influence our politicians? You would think HR would have covered all that in the New Congressmen Orientation Training.
Apparently the people from Azerbaijan made a really big impression on Bridenstine. One year after his lavish visit to the country, he flew to the Azerbaijan Center in Houston for a nice dinner and follow-up meeting with his new friends.
According to Azerbaijan Center website:
2ND VISIT OF CONGRESSMAN JIM BRIDENSTINE TO THE AZERBAIJAN CENTER
The Azerbaijan Center welcomed for the second time a dear friend of the Azerbaijani community, Congressman Jim Bridenstine (OK-1).
During this visit, the Azerbaijan Center gathered a very heterogeneous audience from the Azerbaijani community which included attendees from the oil industry as well as groups of students from high school and universities.
Congressman Bridenstine alluded to the experience he had during his trip in Azerbaijan and underlined the strong impression of diversity in Azerbaijan while enjoying cultural insights from his trip.
Yeah, that’s right. The homophobic Republican from Oklahoma who hosts town halls where little old ladies talk about how Obama should be executed for allowing Muslims into the country appreciates the strong impression of diversity in Azerbaijan. Maybe the LGBT community should start sending members of Oklahoma’s congressional delegation on secretly funded trips to foreign lands. Perhaps that will get them to modernize their minds.
At the event, The Azerbaijan Center provided Bridenstine with some porcelain tea cups, an “Appreciation Award” and several small bottles of water. Check out these pics:
Oklahoma City morning radio has gotten a little more cheery.
As the Buster Olney of the local sports radio beat, I have a duty to report that John Rhode, the grumpy Oklahoman sports columnist turned curmudgeonly morning sports radio host, was let go by The 107.7 The Franchise on Monday. He is being replaced in the lineup by Paintbrush, Driver and Running Girl.
Okay, I’m joking around. The real replacements are former Oklahoma linebacker Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuufus Alexander and one of my favorite lads to troll on Twitter, Andrew Gilman.
The lineup change marks The Franchise’s latest attempt to usurp The Sports Animal in the ratings game, something the station probably thought would happen when they originally hired Mike Steely, Lump and Rohde away from the WWLS in 2013. Out of those three talking heads, Steely is the only regional radio star who remains. I guess taking on the ESPN of the OKC sports media landscape has been more challenging than everyone thought.
Anyway, I’ve never been a big John Rohde fan, and he was out of his element as a morning radio host, but you still have to feel sorry for the guy. As he foreshadowed in his original column for the Franchise, I guess his transition from newspaper to radio worked out about as well as Billy Tubbs’ move from OU to TCU in the mid-1990s. We wish him the best of luck, and hopefully he’ll land on his feet at some other radio station or newspaper. It’s never too late for a career-mulligan mulligan.
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