Is everyone ready for yet another week of surfing the web and playing solitaire and looking over our shoulder to make sure our boss isn’t about to catch us doing anything but work? I know I am. It’s pretty exhausting, but this six of diamonds isn’t just going to move itself over on top of the seven of clubs. You know what I mean?
This weeks tweets are below the fold.
Aw yeah, readers. It’s the weekend. If you work where I do, you’re probably going to Night Trips for lunch. Don’t tell my boss, though when I come back to the office covered in glitter and smelling like cotton candy perfume and daddy issues, I’m sure they’ll know. What can I say? Night Trips has fried mushrooms and mama likes fried mushrooms. Just kidding, readers. I’m equally close to the outlet mall, and I’d much rather come back to work with a maxed out credit card.
Anyway, here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.
I’m pretty sure I’ve told this story before, but when I worked at a professional wrestling-themed barbecue restaurant in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart off I-35 (from which I got fired for signing a write-up form with “your mom” instead of my name), ZZ Top came in, and I got a picture with Billy Gibbons. His old man arthritic hands totally look like they are pinching my boob, but in reality, he’s just pointing at me. But I bet you wish you had a picture of your boob getting pinched by a rock and roll legend.
There is only one way to get that wish granted. Get yourself to Lucky Star Casino in Concho. There will be plenty of boob-pinching, as well as rock and roll and fun galore! Come on down and get yourself a drink. Then, gamble a bit, and enjoy the show. Basically, these are all the ingredients to make the best Friday night you’ve had in a long time. And if you’re lucky, you’ll get your boob pinched and your parents will hang the photo in the living room above the picture of you getting your master’s degree, because priorities, duh.
The lone bright spot in the Thunder’s terrible loss to the Houston Rockets was the Westboro Baptist Church protesting in downtown Oklahoma City.
Wait a second. Did I just call a Westboro protest a “bright spot?” Yes, I did.
Normally, I hate giving those crazy attention whores any attention or publicity, but this time I’m breaking that rule. Last night, people from all over OKC crashed Westboro’s party with their own counter-protest. They brought funny signs, dressed in Daisy Dukes, and even sent over a few glitter farts. The whole counter-protest was funny and amusing, and for the time being, has helped distract me from the Thunder’s piss poor performance against the guys from Houston. That’s why I’m calling it a “bright spot.”
Anyway, we spent some time searching Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and the web to find some of counter-protest pics. Here are some good ones we found:
We’re currently in the heart of May sweeps. It’s the annoying time of the year when desperate reporters and even more desperate new directors stoop to the lowest of lows to bring in viewers. Most of the time, the stories they run are your typical over-sensationalized, fill in the blank, fear driven pieces, like “12 Hidden Dangers Found Inside Your Microwave,” “How To Tell If Your Teen Is Sexting the Sexual Predator Who Might Be Hiding In Your Attic Right Now,” and “Watch Amanda Taylor Annoy Some Country Musician.”
Occasionally, though, reporters go outside the typical box of fear, paranoia and shitty interviews and produce a story that’s so ridiculous that it just has to be watched. KFOR’s Lance West is one of those reporters, and his story on Channel 4 tonight looks like one of those reports. Here’s a preview sent to us by an Ogle Mole:
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