Good morning and happy Monday! Welcome to Monday Morning Tweets! I’m going to assume that you’ve had some leftover/discount Valentine’s Day candy for breakfast today, and are really straddling that line between sugar high and nausea. That’s what I like to call “the sweet spot.” It’s where I live. And if we’re being completely honest, it’s the best way to set the tone for the rest of the week.
Anyway, pull up a chair and get ready. I’ve got a whole bunch of tweets for you from the week before. So, pop another conversation heart and get ready. This week’s tweets are after the jump!
Outside of bear pelts, ponytails and school busses, the big winner in the amazing Sir John Michael video was News 9’s Joleen Chaney (and the black spy women outfit she was rocking). Since the segment has gone viral, we’ve been bombarded with search engine queries like…
• Joleen Chaney Hot
• Is Joleen Chaney Single?
• Does Joleen Chaney find bald men from her hometown who ran for Governor attractive?
Oddly enough, this isn’t JoJo’s first brush with Internet fame. If you remember correctly, she was the anchor on KFOR when they first aired the famous Sweet Brown interview:
As you probably know, we’ve had an over-the-top obsession with Joleen Chaney since the watermelon queen first burst onto the scene like a tilt-a-whirl in 2009. This is kind of embarrassing, but we have something like 25 posts with her name in the title since 2010, and that doesn’t include all the MMTs, 20 Hottest lists, and other random references over the years. That may seem kind of creepy, but…
1. One of those posts was about Fake Joleen Chaney…
2. At least we didn’t write a song about her…
Anyway, it’s safe to say that we have quite a few pics of Joleen Chaney in our archive. I’ve decided to share some of them here. She’s our Hot Girl Friday…
Here’s some breaking news for you. It turns out that the senile old man who thinks that global warming is a hoax perpetuated by the world’s leading scientists is a gullible, easy to dupe, tool rod. Hard to believe, huh?
Yesterday, it was reported that pigeon killing sadist Oklahoma Senator Jim Inhofe – the village idiot of the US Senate – was tricked into believing that stock photography of Russian troops from 2008 was new proof that Putin was about to invade Ukraine like some nerd cashing in a set in Risk.
Via Raw Story:
It may be time for us to organize the world’s largest bake sale.
Yesterday, The Oklahoman reported that our state’s budget shortfall has doubled from $298.1 million to $611.3 million. The shortfall is a direct result of a struggling Oklahoma energy industry and the recent tax policies that their puppets in the Governor’s office and legislature (pictured above) enacted for them.
Here’s the story on the shortfall by NewsOK.com…
It’s official: Most Oklahomans will receive a state income tax cut in 2016.
Members of the state Board of Equalization voted unanimously Thursday to implement the tax cut, certifying that revenue projections were sufficient to trigger a cut in the state’s top income tax bracket from 5.25 percent to 5 percent beginning Jan. 1, 2016.
More than 1.7 million Oklahoma taxpayers are expected to benefit from the reduction, since Oklahoma’s top income tax bracket applies to individuals who make more than $8,700 a year or couples earning more than $15,000 a year.
The amount of the tax cut will vary with income.
For example, taxpayers with federal adjusted gross incomes of $40,000 to $44,999 a year can expect to save about $35 a year, while taxpayers with adjusted gross incomes of $100,000 to $149,999 a year can expect to save about $160 a year.
“I am pleased that the income tax trigger did kick in,” Gov. Mary Fallin said following the Equalization Board vote. “I think it’s important for economic growth, job attraction, job retention and letting people keep more of their hard-earned money.”
My bad. That was a 2014 Oklahoman report about the tax cut Governor Fallin and the Oklahoma legislature awarded to the state’s top income earners. I sure am glad those folks earning $149,999 per year in taxable income get to keep that $160. I’m not good at Craig Humphrey’s new math, but that’s about $13 a month. That money is much better off in a savings account or trust fund than it is funding things like education, health and public safety, roads and bridges, and Native American Cultural Centers.
Yeah, just kidding about the Native American Cultural Center. They should just turn it into another casino. We could use the tax money.
Here’s the article about the $600-million budget shortfall crisis:
Valentine’s Day is almost here, the holiday I can’t remember anyone ever saying they like. A truly manufactured “celebration,” a fine symbol of corporate American ingenuity. We beg for reasons to spend money, and there is no better example than the heart-shaped boxes whom eat our dollars as we eat its chocolate.
What I am doing for Valentine’s? Well, I’m married, which many people would assume means a day of flowers, chocolate and whatever, but that’s not true for us. We aren’t the most romantic couple and neither put much effort into holidays. For example, we both forgot our 5th anniversary. I kid you not. I think after we realized this, we went to Chili’s, or maybe Chelino’s.
So what will happen Saturday? I’m not totally sure, but I expect she will likely play Assassin’s Creed: Unity after we eat at Chili’s, Chelino’s or a barbecue place. So what if we are as romantic as an Xbox Live Call of Duty lobby? Realistically, instead of an ultra-romantic restaurant or partying, she would rather watch “How It’s Made” and make fun of “Ancient Aliens” while I play guitar and video games. We are two dorks who usually prefer to stay inside and that’s why I am lucky.
So happy Valentine’s Day to my wife and to all of you. Stay strong, you will get through it.
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