From time to time, I find myself at odds with the opinions of fellow TLO contributors. I stood up for my local 7-Eleven at the corner of May Ave. and NW 10th St. when it was ranked second worst in the metro, and expressed my disapproval of Marisa’s declaration that Oklahoma is humid. Now I have another bone to pick.
Earlier this week, Marisa published an open letter to Oklahomans who keep asking to have the AC temperature turned up. In the note, she chastises those who may at times feel the air conditioner is running a bit too hard, referring to them as terrible people.
From the letter:
Each morning, I get out of bed and listen to Lacey Swope and Jed Castles talk about how it’s going to be another scorcher. They make idle small talk about how we should drink plenty of water and try to stay cool. Then they remind us to check on elderly neighbors who may actually die in the heat.
And there you are, asking people to turn down the AC. Are you really complaining when two trusted weather forecasters are telling me that old people might die because they don’t have air conditioning?
First, if someone is complaining that it is too cold, the AC is likely turned down into the 60s. People tend to describe the perfect temperature as somewhere in the mid to low 70s. Set the AC to 72-75 degrees and this should take care of everyone.
Elderly people are not going to die from heat at that temperature. They won’t pass away from temperatures in the 80s either, so don’t try to push some guilt trip on us. By the way, do you check on your elderly neighbors on hot days?
Step 2: Ask yourself if you’re more important than everyone else.
Once you’ve asked this question, you have undoubtedly answered “no.” (Unless you’re a sociopath. Then you have other issues to deal with that are far beyond the scope of this letter.) But once you’ve answered that question, then you can undoubtedly ascertain that your comfort is not more important than the comfort of everyone else who is not complaining about the temperature.
Respect is a two-way street. So Marisa, are you more important than everyone else? How do you know everyone else isn’t also cold? Most importantly, are you a sociopath?
Step 3: Bring a damn cardigan.
Simple enough, really.
I’m not bringing a cardigan for two reasons. For one, I don’t have one. Also, if I did, where am I going to put it when I’m not wearing it? I’m not carrying it around and I don’t wear a backpack like a third grader. How about we just set the AC at a civilized temperature. Not everyone enjoys life in negative Celsius.
Here’s Your Friday Night in the Big Town….
I try everything in my power to avoid covering PR clickbait, but sometimes the headlines are just too irresistible.
In a sad reminder of just how cruel life can be, Hollywood actor / punchline Gary Busey will delivering ice cream for Uber today in Oklahoma City. There’s no word on if he’ll be delivering it in an automobile or on horseback.
If you want to see The Buse, open up your Uber app between 11am – 3pm and request ICE CREAM. He, or some other lucky Uber driver who isn’t Gary Busey, will deliver four ice cream bars to your location for $20. Yeah, that’s right. Four ice cream bars for $20. At that rate, you’d think Uber could afford to send Nic Cage or Charlie Sheen
Because we live in a sad, desperate civilization on the brink of a total collapse where washed-up celebrities now deliver ice cream to your door, the paparazzi actually caught Busey at LAX yesterday preparing to embark on his trip to the 405. Here’s the video:
Well, I guess it’s time for our obligatory trending online media article about Pokémon Go.
I made the plunge and downloaded the app a couple of days ago. Outside of giving the publishers access to everything in your Gmail account, and the fact that you look like one of the world’s biggest tools while playing it, the game is a decent waste of time, and from a cultural perspective, much more tolerable than the Harlem Shake.
Here’s my avatar:
I make for one good-looking, blue-haired, cartoon lesbian, don’t I?
The game has been a big smash here at the KFOR offices. Everyone plays it, but it’s almost become a deadly distraction. For example, ever since it’s been named a Pokéstop, Emily Sutton’s she-shed has received quite an array of unusual visitors. And just yesterday, two Social Media Bandits nearly drowned in the pond while trying to catch a Polliwag for Linda Cavanaugh. Fortunately, KOCO’s Abigail Ogle was close by, and after capturing the creature with one toss of her Pokéball, brought the bandits to shore and resuscitated them. Say what you want about the media rivalries in this city, we all go out of our way to help each other.
Broadway Extension and N. Britton Rd. isn’t the only place in town where Pokémon Go has gone from a fun little game to a dangerous pastime. Apparently, it’s causing civil unrest in Yukon.
Via News 9.com:
Back in my rebellious days, I always made sure to donate $20 to the Fraternal Order Police so I could get one of those stickers to put on my back windshield and help get me out of tickets. Because of that, I guess you can say I’m a FOP supporter, and as a result, fully endorse the Oklahoma City chapter’s recent plea to give our hardworking men and women in law enforcement more guns and body armour.
Via News 9:
This week I’m cowardly counting down 20 reasons (many of which happen to do with hipsters, street drugs and failure) to stay in Oklahoma. You can check out reasons 20-11 here. Now, on to the final 10…
10. You’re Obese.
Everywhere you look, people are getting in shape. They’re running for fitness, biking to get where they need to go and walking just to enjoy the neighborhood. Except in Oklahoma. Sure, you have a few of those jerks that are trying to make a difference and make the rest of us look bad, but there’s a reason why we’re like number 49 in the nation when it comes to moderate exercising, eating vegetables, sleeping without C-Paps, and water consumption. Move anywhere else and you’ll be the fattest person in the room, so breathe heavily and with belabored pride that you live in a state that cherishes its morbid obesity.
9. They filmed the movie Twister here!
Hey, remember when they filmed that movie Twister here, like, 20 years ago? That was pretty cool, right? Right?
8. Cheap Guns
Thanks! Your message has been sent!