I’ll be honest with you. My mom is one of the best bakers I know. If it’s a birthday or holiday, best believe that she is coming at you with cakes, cookies, and all things in between. Similarly, my great-grandmother’s Vanilla Wafer cake is the stuff of legends, and is always remembered fondly around the dinner table when we think of the good ol’ days. So, needless to say I understand the role of baked goods in family life.
But two McAlester women were unaware of the baked goods that were acceptable when it comes to making dessert traditions. According to KFOR.com:
The votes are in and it looks like we have a two-way tie for the 2014 teacher of the year. And by that I don’t mean the actual teacher of the year award that honors hardworking educators who give so much of themselves to better the students of this state. I mean the award for teachers that are totally sketchy and probably should never have been put in contact with children—you know, those teachers of the years.
We have our work cut out for us on this score, but it would appear that both of them engaged in activities that endangered children, just in different ways. So what’s worse? Putting children in a position where they could potentially die, or preying on a 13-year old sexually? I’ll let you be the judge.
Firstly, let me give you the story of the teacher who put some students in her trunk. According to KFOR.com:
CATOOSA, Okla. (KJRH) – A Catoosa teacher has been suspended with pay after she was accused of piling kids into her car and putting two kids in the trunk to run an errand.
The school board set a hearing for the teacher to fight a possible firing.
The yearbook teacher is accused of loading 11 kids into her Honda Accord and drove to Wal-Mart.
Umm, that’s a lot of people to put in a Honda Accord.
According to the police report, two children rode in the trunk and others sat on the floorboards without seat belts.
Matt Pinto had enough….
In case you missed it, Regular Jim Traber and Thunder radio play-by-play guy Matt Pinto got into a little spat last night during the always awkward Thunder pre-game show on The Sports Animal.
The whole thing was weird and random. I guess they were talking about whether the injury depleted Thunder were going to sign an extra player to the roster or something, and then Traber asked Pinto his thoughts on the matter.
I’m not sure if the years of working with the most annoying radio person in the world finally took their toll, or maybe Matt Pinto just lost a dare to James Hale, but Pinto snapped and said:
“I can’t imagine I would have anything to offer of value to you, Jim. You have all the answers, which amazes me, because you’re never at practice and never talking to players or coaches as far as I can tell.”
At that point, Jim flipped out, took off his headset, and left the show.
In an effort to look like a victim, Traber replayed the tiff on today’s Afternoon Sports Beat. I recorded it live on the air. Check it out, and when you do, please ignore the incoming call that hit my MAC right as I was recording the damn thing. Technology is nice, but it can also be annoying.
Thanks to an act of God, I had gone most of my life without ever seeing, touching or eating a McRib. Then, a couple of years ago, one of my asshole friends shared his joy of the McRib coming back, and proceeded to explain to me that it’s the greatest thing ever:
“You gotta try it, dude!”
The following day, I headed down to one of the McDonald’s in my local trapezium and ordered a McRib for lunch. I’ll save you a detailed review, but let’s just say I’ve never forgiven my friend. The McRib wasn’t the worst thing food I’ve ever put in my mouth, but it was close. Calling a McRib barbecue would be like referring to a Little Caesars “Hot N’ Ready” as pizza.
I bring this up because last night I stumbled across this story on Gawker. Apparently, McDonald’s has hired one of the guys from Mythbusters to dispel, mask and hide some of the disgusting facts about the company’s food. One of the first items on his list: The McRib.
In celebration of the almost-annual winter return of the McRib, McDonald’s dropped a few videos today that purport to reveal the secrets of everyone’s favorite barbecue sauce-covered restructured pork item. They do, kind of.
Things you will see: A bunch of actual pork, albeit after the bones have been removed (at least it’s not pink slime); the machine that presses the pre-cooked patties into that strange ribless-rib shape; Grant Imahara’s career change from Mythbuster to corporate myth-perpetuator.
Things you won’t: Anything about the conditions under which the pigs that go into a McRib are raised and killed. Basically, you don’t get to see how the McSausage is actually made. This is an #ad, after all.
I’m not sure why – it could be that I was high on Nyquil or just like to get off on torturing myself and reliving painful memories – but I clicked on the video. And there, at the very start, some big dude in a bowtie explains why McDonald’s flew him out to Oklahoma City to see how the McRib is made.
Here’s the video:
Word to the wise: if you’re going to park your ridiculously expensive Italian sports car in a disabled parking spot, make sure you don’t have a personalized tag.
Some guy named Ben G is learning this lesson the hard way. Check out this pic that a Mole emailed to us:
First of all, Ben drives a Lamborghini and he’s grabbing lunch at Mimi’s Cafe. Uhm… okay? Was Applebee’s too busy or something? Either Ben G is behind on his car payment, or the only thing worse than his taste in parking spots is his choice in restaurants.
Of course, I don’t want to criticize Ben G too much. If I drove a Lamborghini, I’d probably be a douche bag too and park in the handicap spot!.The only difference is I’d shell out enough to buy a blackmarket sticker. If your car is so nice that a photo of it can appear on a Trapper Keeper folder or on the wall of 12-year-old boy’s bedroom, you can afford it.
Anyway, you’re probably wondering who is this Ben G character? Does he own an energy company? Is he a doctor? Did he create the Benji: The Hunted film franchise? I think we have your answer:
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