The Lost Ogle


Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

So, they fixed that stupid billboard on Western…

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You might remember this dumb billboard we wrote about last week. Hell, you probably read the whole story, and became infuriated that you wasted three minutes of your life hearing about a poorly designed advertisement. In case you missed it, this cryptic sign was to promote a dentist office:

Perhaps I’m behind the times, but it seems super important to me for a physician to include details about who they are, what they do, and where to find them on their advertisements. Who knows, maybe #smilestudio does a great job ramming those little spikey things at your gums and shoving mirrors into your throat. It’s entirely possible that the dentist gives you a free toothbrush and a cool toy for being so good while he cleaned your teeth. Heck, they could even give you the right amount of gas before ripping one of your incisors out. But I’ll never know, because I’m not going to visit a doctor that markets themselves like a DJ night.

I’m not an anti-dentite, just someone who’s offended by poor advertising choices. Mysterious marketing is more suited for a J.J. Abrams movie than someone who’s cleaning your teeth. But, in the same way that we got you to click the link to that story, this billboard got us to look at and discuss it.

Maybe this made it successful, but it would appear that the owner of the dental practice is a reader of TLO and agreed with what I said. The billboard has been changed. Check it out:

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Fat Cat Oklahoma School Districts Are Sitting On $1.9-Billion In Cash!

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Earlier today, Marisa told you how the Oklahoma Council for Public Affairs – the local field office for ALEC and current home to our state’s much-maligned 10 Commandments Monument –  denies that a gender pay gap exists, and suggests that women, despite popular belief, should be able to think and ask questions for themselves.

Well, I guess coming up with misleading cartoons and inadvertently condescending articles that attempt to convince women they should be okay with not making as much as men isn’t OCPA’s only cup of tea. Now they’re going after those Oklahoma school districts that hoard millions upon millions of dollars…

Via KFOR:

A local policy institute is questioning the management and priorities of schools across the state, after examining financial data.

The Oklahoma Council for Public Affairs published an article Friday afternoon titled ‘Why are school districts sitting on so much cash?

Before we continue, I should probably inform you that the guy who published the article for OCPA is Koch brothers shill Steve Anderson. From 2011 to 2013, he served as a key advisor and state budget director for Kansas governor Sam Brownback, which looks about as good on a resume as being Mary Fallin’s Botox Clinician. Under Brownback and Anderson’s regime, the state slashed income taxes for the rich in an attempt to spur economic growth. Sound familiar? As you probably know, the plan backfired. Kansas faced a revenue shortage, made drastic budget cuts to education and transportation, and eventually landed in a recession. Once again, sound familiar?

Anyway, I’m just pointing out that important tidbit of information about the author because KFOR doesn’t mention it in their story. Back to the report:

“We didn’t think there would be almost $1.9 billion of revenue,” said OCPA President Jonathan Small. “I do think, when you look at the way our funding is spent in K-12 education in Oklahoma, that it’s clear that the priority is not first the most important person, which is the teacher in the classroom.”

The OCPA found schools reported about 23 percent more in revenue than they did in expenditures, with many districts reporting six-figure bank accounts.

Oklahoma City Public Schools and Edmond Public Schools top the list with balances of more than $100 million.

“Are the dollars going to the right place?” Small asked in an interview with NewsChannel 4. “I think, when you see how much is being set aside for building and equipment as opposed to dire needs that teachers have, I think it’s a very fair question.”

Ha ha ha! Who cares that numbers can easily be manipulated and twisted to prove any point! You’re busted you rich, conniving teachers and educators! I knew all that talk about slashed budgets, layoffs and shortened school weeks were nothing but phoney baloney! The ruse is up! Put down the wagyu steaks, truffle caviar creme and Dom Perignon! Instead of finding ways to increase education funding, we should cut more of it! Let’s put those billions of dollars to work. As Mr. Video Vigilante says, “You’re busted!”

That being said, KFOR was able to locate a couple of educators and administrators to get their logical, matter-of-fact thoughts on the subject. Here’s how they responded:

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6 Marvel Characters with Oklahoma roots…

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As I sat in the screening of the latest DC Comics cinematic universe flick, Suicide Squad, Native American actor Adam Beach was introduced as the Native American anti-hero Slipknot, which, to my knowledge, is the first depiction of a Native American superhero on-screen. But, of course, (spoiler alert!) his head was literally blown off five minutes later—thanks, DC!

It did, however, get me to wondering how many superheroes are Native American and then, how many of them are from Oklahoma. The answer, sadly, is very few.

While researching DC Comics heroes, I learned Slipknot isn’t a Native American in the comics, but just some dumb rope enthusiast named Christopher Weiss. However, Wonder Woman’s boyfriend, Steve Trevor—played by Star Trek’s Chris Pine in the upcoming film adaptation—happens to be from Enid, so that’s something.

Other than that, though, even DC’s Native American heroes, ridiculously, seem to be from either Gotham City or Metropolis. Not sure how that works exactly…I’m looking at you, Apache Chief!

Their main competitors however, Smilin’ Stan Lee and the gang over at Marvel Comics, fare far better; not only do they have a handful of characters currently born, based or transplanted to Oklahoma; for a few years they even located the entire mystical realm of Asgard—the Mighty Thor’s home—to Broxton, a small town in Caddo county. Don’t ask me how exactly, but it happened.

And so, with that true believers, in the merry Marvel tradition enjoy…the six most prominent Oklahomans in the Marvel Universe! Excelsior!

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Wyatt Wingfoot

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Local conservative group reminds us women can think and act for themselves…

Have you ever read an issue of “Perspectives?” It’s the magazine put together by the Oklahoma Council of Public Affairs, a group that describes itself as “Oklahomans’ trusted source for fact-based public policy analysis that promotes free markets, limited government, and individual opportunity.”

I haven’t, but after seeing the cover of the September issue it may make my monthly hate-read list.

Perspectives magazine OCPA

Do you hear that, ladies? OCPA feels that women possess their own agency, which means they’re implicitly supporting a woman’s right to choose an abortion on the cover of their September issue! Right, OCPA? That’s totally what you’re saying, yeah?

The magazine cover above is dumb, not only because it insinuates that the pay gap isn’t real, but also simultaneously states that women have chosen to create the pay gap themselves. Also, I would like to take a moment to point out that they’ve taken Rosie the Riveter, and hyperfeminized her. Instead of the tough woman who is ready to work with her mouth set in a determined way, we get a cartoon with her hair down and lips slightly parted like models do when they’re trying to sell you sex. I thought I’d point this out, just in case OCPA’s stance on women wasn’t blatantly obvious.

Anyway, this got me to thinking. If OCPA thinks the pay gap exists because women choose it, what else do they think? So, without further ado, here are 10 things that OCPA thinks women can do!

1. Order food for themselves at restaurants.

Sure, maybe back in the day it was okay for the man to order for the lady, but times have changed! Now the lady can order a salad for herself.

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2. Work outside the home.

Of course a lady can work outside the home! In fact, it’s a great way for her to pass her days until she gets married and has a child.

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3. Wear pants!

I mean, she can. But should she?

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The Homeless Puppeteer at 23rd and Penn Seems like a cool dude…

Back in March, only a couple of months after our city council enacted an ordinance that made it illegal for homeless people and charitable firefighters to beg for change on medians, I spotted a panhandler performing a puppet show at the corner of our favorite intersection. Amazed and mesmerised, I quickly fired off the following tweet:

In case you care, the answer to the question is “OKC wants to improve the quality of life for privileged gentrifiers who would rather not be disturbed or bothered by heartbreaking images of bad decisions, mental illness and poverty.”

Thanks to this article from The Curbside Chronicle, we have learned that the Panhandling Puppeteer is a real human being with real feelings and real emotions. His name is Jack Howell. Here he is posing with his puppet “Meg Salyer.”

JackHowell puppet

And here he is with his other puppet “Jake Daniels:”

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