The Lost Ogle


Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Budweiser is now for liquor modernization laws…

Back in February, Budweiser launched a massive ad campaign against SJR 68 – the proposed alcohol modernization law – and its primary author, State Senator Clark Jolley. If you remember correctly, Budweiser didn’t like the legislation because it would even the playing field, eliminate 3.2% beer and force them to sell a couple of their lucrative distributorships. As a result, we received full-page ads in the newspaper like this:

budweiser oklahoma

Well, it looks like the mood has now changed at Budweiser. Thanks to the negative ad campaign and the fine work of industry lobbyists, Clark Jolley and his pals in the Senate caved to pressure and amended SJR 158 to make Budweiser happy.

As a result, we now get happy Budweiser ads like this promoted tweet:

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Ryan Gosling Says Beaver, Oklahoma Has the Most Beautiful Women and Explains Why

ryan gosling beaver

There sure are a lot of beautiful women in Oklahoma!

Only a day after Justin Timberlake claimed in a recent “interview” that Edmond, Oklahoma has the most beautiful women, Mr. Handsome himself, Ryan Gosling, shared his thoughts on the beautiful women of Beaver, Oklahoma:

“I knew a girl from Beaver, Oklahoma and I visited her and her family in Beaver years ago and I thought at the time that maybe she was just an exception but she wasn’t. And I’m not saying that the women there are necessarily more physically beautiful than other women in other places but, from my experience in Beaver, the women there have the entire package, ya know? They’re not only beautiful on the outside but on the inside as well. The girl I knew from Beaver was sweet, caring, and beautiful all-around and I found that to be the case for a lot of women there.”

That’s pretty cool. I was always led to believe that Hooker, or Mooreland, had the most beautiful women in western Oklahoma. It’s cool to see Beaver getting some love. Of course, it would be cooler if any of this is real. Just like the “Justin Timberlake thinks Edmond women are beautiful” story that hundreds of locals are sharing on Facebook like it’s real news, we totally made this up in an effort to get easy page views.

I guess you can’t blame us for taking advantage of the simpletons. We did the same thing a month or two ago when we parodied the “Scarlett Johannsson is moving to Oklahoma City” hoax from a month or two ago. Remember that? As a response, we joked that Jennifer Lawrence is moving to Midwest City.

Look at how well that worked out for us:

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A bunch of teachers are running for office in Oklahoma…

teachers

It’s already been a really rough year for teachers in Oklahoma. The budget for public schools has been cut over $100 million so far, and next year is projected to be even worse. Hundreds of teachers and faculty members are losing their jobs, with more cuts to come. Oklahoma City superintendent Rob Neu may or may not be resigning. Even worse, they were beat out of Ogle Madness by a frickin’ chicken fried steak.

Class sizes are swelling, and their help is thinning. Essentially, our educators are being asked to do more work for less money than their peers across state borders, all while fretting about their heads being next on the chopping block when more layoffs are inevitably announced. Many teachers must be making plans to either leave Oklahoma for another state where prospects are brighter, or look for a job in a more prosperous industry like oil & natural gas (j/k!).

A handful of them are deciding instead to make a real difference for their colleagues and the state at large by running for state office. From News9:

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Joe Dorman is trying to legalize weed…

joe dorman

I guess we know why Joe Dorman always looks so happy.

Earlier this week, the 2014 Oklahoma Gubernatorial Candidate was named a board member for Oklahomans for Health. The organization is once again gathering petition signatures in an attempt to get a state question on the Oklahoma ballot that would legalize medical marijuana.

Here’s a quick blurb from the AP:

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Are these the teens that stole my lawn gnome?

mailbox

You’d think the worst thing about living in Norman would be the college kids. And sure, they definitely make it tough to get around the city 9 months out of the year. But at least they leave for three months. Then, there’s no waiting at restaurants, I can get Swirl at the Mont whenever I want, and I don’t have to wait in stupid long lines at Target. But the real youth issue in Norman is the high school kids.

Norman is straight up crawling with them. Anyone who has driven by Norman High around lunch time can attest to this. There are just swarms of youths waiting to cross the street so they can buy soda and chips at the Circle K. And when they aren’t doing that, some apparently have enough time to commit 80 cases of vandalism, arson and larceny, not to mention the malicious use of a BB gun and a stop sign:

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