Women of Worth

Maggie Carlo wants to know who you would nominate as a “Woman of Worth,” someone who is making a difference in society. For those of you struggling to come up with anyone, here are a few ideas.

Maggie Carlo

Maggie herself is the first person that came to my mind. Is that because I was reading something she wrote at the time? Probably. But still.

Did you know that if your television is tuned to KOCO during the six o’clock newscast it’s impossible not to watch the news? Even if you try to actively avoid it, it’s impossible, because Maggie Carlo’s eyes follow you all around the room, like the Mona Lisa or one of those lifesize cardboard cutouts of Gary Busey. Her DNA is built in such a way that she is singularly qualified to giving you the news of the day, and that makes her a Woman of Worth. Also, she’s much sexier than Jessica Shambach, so what is up with this?

Three more nominees after the jump…

Joyce Gilchrist

Working as an advocate for the incarcerated, Gilchrist tirelessly falsified evidence for years and years in an effort to make sure prisoners were freed on technicalities years after their imprisonment began. Because of her efforts, we can’t be sure that anyone behind bars is actually guilty of anything. Thanks to this Woman of Worth, we now realize it may be possible that there have actually been no crimes committed in the state since 1968.

Courtney Paris

Did you know that Courtney Paris has a twin sister, Ashley, who also plays for the Oklahoma basketball team? Did you know that their father, Bubba, played in the NFL, for the San Francisco 49ers? Did you know that she was a member of the 2006 USA Basketball Under-20 team that won the gold medal? If you watched any one of the Oklahoma Sooners’ basketball games this year, you knew these things, as they were repeated 174 times over the course of the season. Fortunately for announcers, it is apparently no longer necessary for them to go out and glean new information, as they have the same six facts that they can repeat over and over again. The job of journalists is made much easier because of this Woman of Worth, Courtney Paris. An honorable mention might go to Jenna Plumley, for being a full-blooded Native American.

Audra from the Morning Animals

Most of you know Audra as the ditzy girl on the Morning Animals, but did you know that she actually has an IQ of 174? On the air, she dumbs down her off-the-charts intelligence to boost the self-confidence of her colleague “Lump.” Because we’re all focused on what amazingly naive thing Audra just said and wondering what she’ll say next, we don’t realize that there is a guy on a sports radio station that not only doesn’t seem to know or care about sports, but who’s role on the station seems to be simply to laugh at whatever dumb thing Audra has just said. Because of this Woman of Worth, “Lump” remains employable.