Over on The Lost Ogle’s MySpace, we literally have hundreds, if not thousands of people begging to be our friends. But to be our friend, you have to pass this simple litmus test. If you answer “Yes” to all five questions below, we really don’t want to be your friend. If you answer “no, no, no, no, no”, then welcome to paradise! If you’re somewhere in the middle, you can possibly be Tony’s friend, but not Patrick’s. If you are a hot girl, we could really care less about what answers you give.
Take the test after the jump.
1. Do you like Hinder?
They are perhaps the worst band out of Oklahoma to achieve national mainstream success. That’s saying a bunch, considering we have Color Me Badd, Hanson and Toby Keith to make us proud.
2. Do you own Blazers season tickets?
I have been to probably 80 Blazers games. Proudly, I went to these games as a “Wendy’s Program Seller”, where I made $10 a game, plus a dime for each program sold. I was also 14, and Bugle Boys were slowly going out of style. Since then, I don’t think I’ve been to a Blazers game. The reason? I went to an NHL game and saw what real hockey was. The Central Hockey League is the worst form of hockey on the planet. Plus, when Mayor Humphreys wanted to bring AAA hockey (real hockey) to town, the Blazers freaked out and blocked the move. After that, I vowed to never go to a Blazers game. I also vowed to make fun of their fans whenever I could, and to make snarky remarks about them when the Hornets and Blazers had home games on the same night. I also vowed to sell my Alan Perry jersey.
3. Do you go out of your way to shop in Warr Acres?
I don’t get it. Warr Acres claims to have the Metro’s lowest tax rate, but they have no places to shop. I guess things could be worse for Warr Acres, they could be Bethany, the worst suburb in OKC. (More on the Metro’s worst suburbs some other day.)
4. Is Bob Barry Jr. your favorite Sports Animal host?
I have heard that when we torture terrorists in Cuba, they make them listen to Bob Barry Jr. and James Hale from 9am-10am on the Sports Animal.
5. Do you throw the upside-down “Hook-Em Horns” at every OU football game, regardless of who they are playing?
If you want to tell a true OU fan from a fair weather fan, take notice to how often they do the upside-down “Hook-Em Horns.” If they do it at any other time than the OU-Texas game, they are fair weather. These “fans” usually can’t name you more than 3 or 4 players on the team. These “fans” also don’t care about the basketball team. These “fans” also like Hinder.