Tulsa police arrested Biker Fox Saturday. Police said that when the officer tried to ticket Fox, he threw his bike at the officer. In response, the officer shot Fox in the kneecap. Not really, but that’s the Family Guy moment I pictured in my head.
Police said Fox assaulted the officer. Fox took to MySpace, without the help of spell check, to correct the misinformation:
“I was stopped beside the road in the grass. Pike tells me to stand still. I am standing there and I say Pike why do you have to be an a****** & write me another ticket. He got mad said sit down NOW. I said my bike was being laid down my front tire barely touched his back tire barely, he said you just assaulted a Police officer. He drops his bike JUMPS me starts choking me. I cannot breath, Me face is in the dirt. I cannot breath. This went on for two minutes til I passed out.”
I don’t think either one was assaulted. If anything has been assaulted, it’s my senses. The true assault is his bike shorts and the above video I watched “¦ one, two, or eight times.
For all we know, Fox had just left Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market and the officer thought Fox was smuggling okra.
Anytime I’ve seen Biker Fox, he has always appeared to be a mild mannered reasonable person on his way to Vintage Stock to pick up PokÃ©mon cards or doll heads.
As a Tulsan, I am appalled at the imagined police brutality. Fox is an outstanding citizen that brings joy and terror to the hearts of Tulsans.
Nothing could’ve made this story better, unless it included a dwarf, Frank Keating and appeared on COPS.
(On a non-related note, I may have a solution for North Tulsa’s grocery store woes. Really, it’s not racist. Also, click here to see the Chicken and Ham Sandwich your inferior 7-Eleven doesn’t carry.)