When in Enid, pull up your britches.

Another one of those "Yes...they are from Oklahoma news stories" is making the rounds on the Internets.  This time it features a racist, homophobic bar owner from Enid.  From the Enid News and Eagle (or, if you're lazy, watch the Channel 9 video here):

Ward 4 Enid City Commission candidate Gary James is aware of stories circulating about how he has refused service to some customers at his Chicaro Club, but he defends himself against accusations he is racist.

James reportedly has asked black people and people he believes are homosexual to leave his establishment.

James said he has asked people to leave the bar, but it is not based on race or sexual orientation. However, he does have some strong words to describe those he won't allow in his establishment, calling them "trash" and "faggots."

"If a racist is someone who doesn't like unproductive trash, then it's true. I'm talking about white, black, brown or yellow. I don't like unproductive people," James said Monday. "People who know me, know better."

He said he has never asked anyone to leave his club based solely on their race, and said he has asked many more white customers than black customers to leave because they caused a problem.

He said he has asked customers to leave who are wearing clothes he does not approve of.

"I don't like girlie men. I'm not fond of men with all kinds of metal in their face," he said. "My customers don't want them around, and I don't want them around. I don't consider that racist. I have black friends, but they are productive. Guys who come in with their britches down to their knees won't get served in my place."

James is proud of the fact there have never been drugs associated with his business. Chicaro Club is known as a hangout for personnel from

Vance Air Force Base, and James said he was told a military survey of Enid establishments showed his establishment was drug free.

Hmmmn...I find this story to be a little bit fishy.  I assume that for "trash" and "faggots" to be kicked out of the Chicaro Club, that means they had to be there in the first place.  And seriously,  how many gay, black, brown, yellow, diverse or normal people really go to an establishment where the bartender uses the word "britches" and a Confederate flag hangs from the ceiling?  If you were gay, or black, or had piercings in your face, something tells me you'd just skip the place where hillbilly bigots congregate and go somewhere more "safe"  like Applebee's or Buffalo Wild Wings. You know, the type of places Clark Matthews goes to.

That's why I think that Gary James, the bar owner, is the person circulating stories about his  bar "refusing service to customers."   Not to stereotype, but in a place like Enid, his twisted Civil War era thoughts may just be accepted and encouraged.  And by being vocal about them in the media, this ordeal may actually be good publicity for him and his establishment.  Hell, just look what Sally Kern's rant did for her.  She didn't struggle with re-election, plus she got a call from Ellen.  Maybe Doctor Phil (or one of our readers pretending to be Dr. Phil) will call Gary at the Chicaro Club  at 1-580-233-7655 and tell him that they are wearing baggy britches.  That would be cool.

Anyway, when it's realized that this weird bizarro PR thing worked for Gary James, I fully expect Sam Sims or Renzi Stone to go out and sign Frontier City as a PR client.  A few days later, I expect rumors to begin circulating that Frontier City hates midgets, and for Channel 9 to question why they only let tall people ride the rides.  I then expect sales for season passes to soar, because we all know everyone is scared of midgets.  Everyone except for Renzi Stone.  That's why he purchased Tim Heskett.