Maybe the next thing she’ll try to do is ban summertime rainbows”¦

Today at noon on the first floor of the State Capitol, Sally Kern and her band of right wing lunatic cronies will sign the Oklahoma Citizens Proclamation for Morality.  There is no word yet on if her 30-something-year-old, celibate, music teaching, metaphysics practicing, non-gay son will be traveling down from Iowa for the event.

You can check out the complete proclamation here "” including some random out-of-context quotes from former presidents and slave owners Thomas Jefferson and James Madison "” but the really crazy parts are below.

We the People of Oklahoma, Invoking the guidance of Almighty God, in order to secure and perpetuate the blessing of Liberty; to secure just and rightful Government; to promote our mutual Welfare and Happiness, do establish this proclamation and call upon the people of the great State of Oklahoma, and our fellow Patriots in these United States of America who look to the Lord for guidance, to acknowledge the need for a national awakening of righteousness in our land."

WHEREAS, the people of Oklahoma have a strong tradition of reliance upon the Creator of the Universe; and

WHEREAS, we believe our economic woes are consequences of our greater national moral crisis; and

WHEREAS, this nation has become a world leader in promoting abortion, pornography, same sex marriage, sex trafficking, divorce, illegitimate births, child abuse, and many other forms of debauchery; and

WHEREAS, alarmed that the Government of the United States of America is forsaking the rich Christian heritage upon which this nation was built; and

WHEREAS, grieved that the Office of the president of these United States has refused to uphold the long held tradition of past presidents in giving recognition to our National Day of Prayer; and

WHEREAS, deeply disturbed that the Office of the president of these United States disregards the biblical admonitions to live clean and pure lives by proclaiming an entire month to an immoral behavior;

NOW THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED that we the undersigned elected officials of the people of Oklahoma, religious leaders and citizens of the State of Oklahoma, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world, solemnly declare that the HOPE of the great State of Oklahoma and of these United States, rests upon the Principles of Religion and Morality as put forth in the HOLY BIBLE; and

BE IT RESOLVED that we, the undersigned, believers in the One True God and His only Son, call upon all to join with us in recognizing that "Blessed is the Nation whose God is the Lord," and humbly implore all who love Truth and Virtue to live above reproach in the sight of God and man with a firm reliance on the leadership and protection of Almighty God; and

BE IT RESOLVED that we, the undersigned, humbly call upon Holy God, our Creator, Sustainer, and Redeemer, to have mercy on this nation, to stay His hand of judgment, and grant a national awakening of righteousness and Christian renewal as we repent of our great sin.

I'll tell you what, I could wake up tomorrow morning and learn that Sally Kern replaced the Indian on our Capital Dome with a statue of the crucifix and I wouldn't be surprised.  Why?  Sally Kern is a crazy right wing nut job attention whore bigot.

In fact, she's such a crazy rightwing nut job attention whore bigot that I don't really feel like wasting my time making fun of her or refuting her silly proclamation.  Instead, I'll let you all take care of that in the comments.

And, oh yeah, did we mention she has a 30-something-year-old, celibate, music teaching, metaphysics practicing, "non-gay" son?  If not, I figured it would be good to throw it in there one more time.