A few weeks back, it was announced that the WBNA’s Detroit Shock was relocating to Tulsa. Here’s what the Irritated Tulsan wrote here when the news was announced:
It’s Official. Former TU men’s basketball coach Nolan Richardson has been named the coach and general manager of the Detroit Shock. Tulsa is now home to their very own WNBA team. Tens of people in Detroit are distraught over the news.
Take that OKC Thunder!
While I’m not a sports fanatic, I was excited when my friend Juan told me WNBA stood for Women’s Naughty Basketball Association. Turned out to be mistranslation.
Attendance for the WNBA is about 8,000 per game. The BOK Center seats nearly 20,000. Will this be a boon for Tulsa? Probably not. However, what the hell do I know? I don’t watch sports. I take pictures of QuikTrip food and make lists about Tulsa’s Sleaziest Shopping Centers. This is Clark’s area. All I know is if the OKC Thunder played Tulsa Shock, I’d attend that game.
I’m still not sure how The Irritated Tulsan feels about the WNBA, but I can tell you this: The WNBA SUCKS. It’s nothing but a terrible display of basketball filled with missed lay-ups, turnovers and knee braces. Seriously, I’d rather watch Jenni Carlson eat a Popsicle at Club Rodeo than watch a WNBA game. It really is that bad!
All that being said, we have decided to help the owners of Tulsa’s new team come up with a new nickname that’s better than Shock. We’ve listed the Top 15. If they are smart the owners would use one, but then again, they just bought a WNBA team and moved it to Tulsa! Nothing’s smart about that.
Anyway, the first couple are available below. The rest are after the jump.
15. Indigo Girls
Yeah, the Indigo Girls really have nothing to do with the NBA, but who cares! When I think of blatantly lesbian sports leagues, I think of the WBNA. When I think of blatantly lesbian folk rock bands, I think of the Indigo Girls.
14. Oklahoma Citians
Recently, it seems like Tulsa has been on a mission to try to one up Oklahoma City. We get Bricktown and the Ford Center and they build the BOK and do fancy stuff to a river. We get Sally Kern, they trot out Randy Brogdon. We get the NBA, and all of a sudden they are in the “big leagues” and score a WBNA team. Since Tulsa wants to be like Oklahoma City so badly, calling the team the Oklahoma Citians makes sense.
Uhm”¦this name is very similar to the team name used in Detroit, but it’s much more entertaining. In addition, fans would have a cool hand symbol to flash every time the Shockers make a three pointer.
12. Lady Trabers
The only things Jim Traber hates more than the WBNA are obscure social blogs and James Hail. For that reason alone, the state’s first relevant womens professional sports team should be named after Oklahoma’s most misogynistic, egotistical blowhard.
According to Sally Kern, the homosexual agenda is a bigger threat to America than terrorism. That means that Sally Kern now wakes up each morning thinking that Kabul is only 100 miles away from her Oklahoma City home. That’s pretty cool.
10. The Fighting Lost Ogles
We’d love the publicity. And adding the word “fighting” to the name is a nice touch.
9. Red Trojan Skins
In Tulsa, the only thing they love more than Jenks and Tulsa Union athletics is”¦well”¦nothing. And although a city’s infatuation with the athletic talents of 17 year old boys is creepy, incorporating the Jenks and Union mascots into the WBNA team name would probably boost attendance.
This would never happen, but it would be funny. What would be even funnier is the team’s mascot. Seriously, imagine a big foam version of Jerry Giordano running around the court launching blue tank tops into the stands. That being said, hopefully the mascot wouldn’t be too accurate, and Jerry would have a clean pair of shorts!
As we mentioned earlier, the WBNA sucks. In fact, it sucks so bad that Fail would be an incredibly accurate team name.
Uhm”¦Tulsa already has the NBADL 66ers. It only makes sense to have the 69ers, too. Right?
5. Pink Robots
We tried to get the Thunder to use this for both its team name and dance team name, but they didn’t bite. The name was inspired by the hit Flaming Lips song and album “Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots.” If you think about it, I guess “Pink Robots” fits the WBNA much more than NBA, but since the Lips are from the OKC area, a Tulsa team would never consider it.
4. FREE BEER
There may not be a better marketing strategy than FREE BEER. Since FREE BEER will bring fans to the games, it should be considered.
There may not be a better marketing strategy than breasts. Since breasts will bring fans to the games, it should be considered.
The Thunder Girls are cool and everything, but they aren’t even in the same league as the old New Orleans/Oklahoma City Honeybees. Hell, just compare their names. Honeybee’s make me think of green fields, sunshine and lollipops. Thunder Girls makes me thing of Coors Light and Graham’s. In fact, Honeybees is such a great name that if the Tulsa team made it their own, I would buy season tickets. Granted, I wouldn’t go to any of the games, but season tickets would be purchased.
This just makes too much sense. When I think of MMMbop, I think of Hanson. When I think of Hanson, I think of Tulsa. When I think of Tulsa, I think of boys who looked like girls. When I think of boys who looked like girls, I think of MMMbop. Yeah, it’s kind of a revolving thought, but if the Shock was renamed the MMMBops, they would enter that equation. It may not be a good one to enter, but who really cares.
Anyway, that’s all we have. There have to be some team name ideas that we forgot. If so, let us know!