I’m sure you’ve heard by now the leading contender for the Dumbest Question of the Year Award. During player evaluations before the NFL Draft, in a meeting with Miami Dolphins GM Jeff Ireland, former Oklahoma State receiver Dez Bryant was asked if he mother was or still is a prostitute.
Now wait a minute.
The reasons for asking this question are unclear. Of course my first thought is, “Is Mrs. Ireland not putting out, Jeff?” My second thought is, “Why is the eff would you ask such a thing?”
Dez Bryant’s response was a good one. He told Michael Silver of Yahoo!: “”No, my mom is not a prostitute,” said Bryant, whose background ““ including his mother’s lifestyle and past legal troubles ““ was under great scrutiny prior to the draft. “I got mad ““ really mad ““ but I didn’t show it.”
Everyone knows that NFL scouts and GMs ask ridiculous questions in trying to settle their pick. Gerald McCoy was asked if he preferred playing in a G-String or a jock strap. Besides the fact that I just threw up in my mouth, I think I speak the obvious when I say, what does that have to do with getting in the backfield and stopping a running back?
So how about 10 more questions that may or may not have been asked to Dez, who went 24th to the Dallas Cowboys.
1. So Dez, I understand you mother is NOT a prostitute. That just means I don’t have to pay, amiriteorwhat?
2. Does she hand feed you fried chicken after football games?
3. You famously got suspended for most of your last season at Oklahoma State. Instead of asking something logical like, “Do you regret lying to NCAA investigators?” I’m going with Home Depot or Lowe’s?
4. What would you say the odds are of you taking a cell phone picture of yourself naked that will eventually be broadcast to the world, causing you, your family and your team incredible embarrassment?
5. I’m a quarterback. I’m about to throw you the ball. Are you gonna catch it?
6. Is your mom a prostitute? Oh wait, that’s already been asked. Nevermind.
7. You’re fast. You’re strong. You’ve got great hands. When you eat at Red Lobster, what are you ordering?
8. The NCAA really screwed you over. I know that’s not a question, but dang.
9. If you don’t get suspended and Zac Robinson doesn’t get hurt and Kendall Hunter is totally healthy and the defense steps up and makes a few plays and Mike Gundy calls a few better plays and everything goes absolutely perfect, you guys win a national championship last year, right? My OSU friend told me to ask that.
10. What do these four names have in common: Hart Lee Dykes. Rashaun Woods. Adarius Bowman. Dez Bryant.
11. Do you think you could flex your pecs for me?
12. So at least tell me, what’s your mom doing later tonight?