Friday Night in the Big Town: The Sh*tshow Edition

Hey there, gentle readers.  Sorry if I’m not my usual cheery self this week, but I’ve been kind of down after the state legislature announced that they hate women and think we’re nothing more than incubators for sperm.

As Patrick and Clark have both stated earlier in the week, those misogynist chode buckets the state legislature has passed some heinous bills, despite multiple phone banks set up to call the senators to urge them not to pass these bills.   And now, we are getting national media attention for being backwards and crazy.

To quote a good friend of mine:  “The world is watching us, Oklahoma. I believe that means it’s sh*tshow-thirty?”  And while this isn’t a sh*tshow in the traditional definition of the word, it certainly bears more than a passing resemblance.

Well, gentle readers, if you don’t know me by now, then you’ll never ever know me, because if there is one thing that I am, it’s a sh*tshow.  And I know just how to get the sh*tshow started.  It takes a little loud music and a lot of alcohol to get things going.  But once it starts, all hell breaks loose and the authorities are called to break it up.

May 1:  Rock’n’Roll Garage Sale and Show  (Noon-8 PM)

On Saturday, you should head on out to the 66 Bowl and get your rock on.  This event is free to all attendees, but you should bring some canned good donations for the Regional Food Bank of Oklahoma.  This event will showcase local bands as well as local artists and vendors.  See, it’s partying for the good of Oklahoma.

Bands that will be playing include:

The Pretty Black Chains
Euclid Crash
The Mean Spirits
Depth and Current
Motown Blood
Unmarked Cars
Brian Dunning & the Rock’n’Roll Trio
Willie V.

And while you’re there rocking out, you should pick up some records, artwork, jewelry and clothing from local artists and stores.

May 1:  Boozapalooza featuring Red City Radio, The City Lives, Siren and Broncho (Doors at 7:30 PM, Show starts at 8:30)

Gentle readers, I ask you this:  Is there anything greater than consuming alcohol?  The answer is yes.  Consuming alcohol for a good cause is the greatest thing in the world.  That’s what’s going down at the Conservatory for Boozapalooza.  A portion of the proceeds from this show will benefit cystic fibrosis.

Red City Radio and The City Lives will engage in an epic battle wherein a panel of celebrity judges will determine which band can play better drunk.  Our very own Patrick will be one of the judges, so you should go say hi to him and buy him a beer.  He told me Lost Lake is his favorite.  White Girls, Siren and Broncho will also be playing.

So now the only question that remains is who will you root for at Boozapalooza.  If I were a betting woman (and you know I must be because there is no form of debauchery in which I do not engage) I’d put my money on Red City Radio, no offense to The City Lives.  I’ve seen those fellas a few times and they put on quite a show.  Also, they drink oodles of beverages and their fans do the same.  Don’t believe me?  Check out this here music video.

Seriously, gentle readers, this promises to be a sh*tshow you won’t soon forget.  And you probably didn’t get enough of a sh*tshow last weekend at the Norman Music Festival.  I know I didn’t.  Only two drunk dudes told me they loved me.  I must be losing my touch.

So there you have it, gentle readers.   Here’s two happyfuntimesmileparade sort of activities that should get you through until a court ruling overturns these crazy laws.  Then we can finally get back to normal, where I say irrelevant nonsense and then make comments about sleeping with Chad.