To generate revenue to pay for street maintenance, Tulsa’s Transportation Advisory Board recommends Tulsa sell naming rights to the streets.
This surprised me since I had no idea we had a Transportation Advisory Board. With the condition of Tulsa roads, they’re obviously doing an amazing job.
I think this is a good idea. If I had the money to buy naming rights, you could drive down “Eff Off Road,” “Pen Island Boulevard,” or “Toilet Mummy.”
Unfortunately, I’m poor. I can’t afford naming rights. For those who can, this is what I recommend:
First, Oral Roberts University can sponsor their section of Lewis and name it “Swallow Drive,” in honor of the Hirundinidae family of birds.
Next, the prostitutes near 11th Street can band together for “The Clap Lane.” Their pimps could chip-in if needed.
Third, Kristen Glover. In honor of her late father, who’s not dead by the way, she could sponsor “Jim Glover’s “˜Dad’ll Do It’ Crossroad.”
Still, I can’t forget “Electric Avenue,” because then we’ll take it higher. By the way, down on that street there is violence and lots of work to be done.
Also, I need to toss in Paul Tay since “Paul Tay Parkway” has a nice ring to it.
I want to include Chicken Hut, but only Dead End works.
Bridges should get a nod. I recommend “Burgraff Disaster Restoration Bridge.”
Finally, City Hall. It’s on the corner of “Circle and Jerk.”
(P.S. Things You Don’t Want to Find in Big Splash’s Pools. Still at 21st and Yale.)