Our nominee for Oklahoma “Father of the Year.”

Back in the old days (a.k.a 1980s), there was always some kid in school who had cool parents.  This kid was so lucky.  His parents would let him stay up late, eat candy cigarettes and even let him watch rated-R movies.  Usually, this was the kid who you wanted to have a sleepover, because when he did, it meant you and your friends got to watch Porky’s.

Well, it looks like Gary Madison is being too cool of a parent.  From News9.com.

OKLAHOMA CITY — Police arrested a father for allegedly leaving his young son alone in a car while he went into a strip club to drink.

Police said Gary Madison II, 34, is facing a felony child neglect charge for leaving his 5-year-old son by himself in the parking lot of Fancy’s nightclub in Valley Brook.

Police said a concerned mother looking for her husband and son saw the boy in the car.

“She went to a couple of different clubs and just happened to find his truck there at Fancy’s,” said Valley Brook Police Capt. Mike Stamp.

While the husband was inside drinking, police said the boy was sleeping inside the truck. Police said the pickup was left running with the air conditioner on.

“The officer was able to confirm through the club’s surveillance that the vehicle had been parked there for just over two hours with the child inside,” Stamp said.

According to a police report, Madison told officers, “Coal was asleep, and I thought it would be OK to go in there and have a beer.”

When asked how long he’d been inside, he replied, “I don’t know how long exactly, I didn’t finish my pitcher of beer.”

First of all, effective today, my standard answer for any questions is going to be “I don’t know how long exactly, I didn’t finish my pitcher of beer.”

Back to the news story…I honestly don’t know what the big deal is here.  When I was a five, my dad would leave me alone in the car while he shopped at Hobby Lobby.   I don’t really see a big difference between the two situations, except that Gary’s son got to possibly see breasts.

In fact, if there’s any crime here it should be in Gary’s choice of strip clubs.  Fancy’s?  Really???  Just look at the place. It’s a converted manufactured home with a dirt parking lot!  I bet the strippers there have names like Kathy, Linda and Edith and give table dances for loose change and Kohl’s coupons.  It’s probably the place where doctors send their patients to cure four hour erections.