Meet The Golden Huffer

When I was a kid, my favorite color in the 64-count box of Crayola crowns was gold.   It was shiny, metallic and I’d only let the pretty girls borrow it.   Something tells me that it may have been Dominick Thayer’s favorite crayon, too.  From NewsOK.com:

Oklahoma City police arrested a registered sex offender who is accused of threatening customers at a restaurant and trying to steal a soda truck while wearing shorts that exposed his buttocks and genitals”¦

An officer who had just finished his lunch was in the parking lot when he saw a shirtless and barefoot man walk into the restaurant, the report states. Part of the man’s buttocks were exposed.

The man walked quickly out of the restaurant moments later and headed toward an RC Cola delivery truck parked behind it, according to the report. He looked through the driver’s side window, got inside the truck and tried to start it.

The man soon jumped out and the officer ordered him to the ground at gunpoint, the report states. The man’s face and shorts were covered in gold paint, and his genitals were exposed through the shorts’ open zipper.

I’m having a hard time figuring out the weirdest part of this story.  Is it that some dude walked into a Chili’s with his genitals exposed and gold paint on his face and shorts, or is that he tried to steal a RC Cola delivery truck?

Seriously, what’s an RC Cola truck doing making a delivery at Chili’s?  Was the Shasta truck broken down?  Did we transport back to 1970?  The only places that still have RC Cola are some old auto mechanic shop in Southeast Oklahoma City and your grandma’s garage.

Also, why do so many cops eat at Chili’s?  I guess it’s good they’re around for the times an occasional bottomless gold plated sex offender stops by, but other than that, they’re annoying.  In fact, an abundance of cops is reason number 58 not to eat at Chili’s.  Reasons number 1 -57 involve each menu item that doesn’t have the work queso or perfect margarita in it.