Tulsa Tuesday: Man Eats Crack Pipe”¦

Tulsa police arrested a man selling drugs in a North Tulsa QuikTrip parking lot. To hide the evidence, the dealer shoved it in his mouth.

He tried to eat his crack pipe.

This tactic might be effective with pot brownies or roofies. However, 41-year-old Eljuan Heath didn’t realize eating glass shreds the mouth, esophagus, stomach, causes internal bleeding and is a leading cause of death among attention whores.

If this had happened at 7 Eleven or Love’s, I’d eat a crack pipe too. I’d take my chances with select cuts of glass over their food options.

Not at QuikTrip though. I’d grab the nearest Taquito or Maple Nut Cinnamon Roll and shove it in my mouth.

Police booked Eljuan on complaints of petty larceny, resisting arrest and destruction of evidence.

My only complaint? Police stopped him from swallowing.

(P.S.  Tulsa’s Most Annoyingly Unoriginal Business Names.)