Well, it’s that time of year again, soon-to-be-intoxicated readers. Yep, I’m talking about amateur hour. It’s that time of year when the people who never really drink decide that they are going to go out in public, imbibe like it’s 1999 and then drive home. The streets and Taco Bell drive-thrus are full of them. And that’s why seasoned drinkers like me tend to stay home on these nights. Seriously, I don’t have the time or the patience to deal with newbs on drinking days.
Anyway, here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.
I know all you little hipster kids have been hitting the refresh button on Oklahomarock.com and hoping to see new show posters for this here freakout. And I know that all of you will find extreme pleasure in parking in Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar and Grill ‘s parking lot for free and walking over to the Cox Center. At least I know I find extreme pleasure in doing that every time I go to Bricktown/downtownish areas.
This show will be fun, no doubt about it. And the crowd should be a good one to start off 2011. Lots of interesting people to kiss at midnight. I mean, who doesn’t love The Flaming Lips? And if you raised your hand, you probably thought I was a jerk for suggesting that someone use Toby Keith’s parking lot without going to the restaurant. Lame. And Wayne, if you’re reading this, can I please play in your plastic bubble someday? I would really love to take it home to Edmond and roll around for a day.
For those of you who require family friendly fun or just didn’t get tickets to the Freakout #4, there is Opening Night. I think in this scenario you just go around Bricktown and look at stuff, or something. You get a wristband, so that’s cool. I mean, everyone likes jewelry.
Though, I have to say, my fear of amateur hour comes into play here. The last place I want to be when I know that people are crazy drunk and the cops are out is Bricktown. Sometimes I feel like all those one-way streets are just a way to funnel you into some elaborate speed trap or checkpoint. And even if you can straight up maintain, them boys in blue ain’t down.
December 31-January 1: Avoid Cops
Okay, so you soon-to-be-intoxicated readers are probably smart enough not to drink and drive. But you may have a couple and then need to drive your crew home. Beware that there will probably be an officer of the law somewhere hiding and just waiting to nail you for something. And they’re probably giving sobriety tests like candy on Halloween. So play it smart! Take back roads and don’t let your drunk ass friend hang his head out the window while he pukes.
Also, I would like to take this time to thank that super special Edmond cop on New Year’s 2009 who let me off with a warning. May the stars always shine upon you.
That’s all for now, soon-to-be-intoxicated readers. Happy New Year and Auld Lang Syne and whatnot.
“Friday Night in the Big Town” is presented by Lucky Star Casino. Visit LuckyStarCasino.org to check out a full calendar of their events and concerts.