Ogle Nuggets: 07/18/2011

According to this report, Oklahoma has seen a 56% increase in gay and lesbian households since 2000. In related news, the Oklahoma Association of Neighborhood Associations has reported a 56% increase in charming, well-kept yards in historical districts throughout Oklahoma City and Tulsa. Sally Kern has also reported that there’s been an 56% increase in domestic terrorism in Oklahoma since 2000.

• Speaking of gays, lesbians and terrorists, several people have emailed us this screenshot from some dude’s Facebook wall. Apparently, he sent Sally Kern a link to an Onion article titled “Vatican Reverses Stance On Gay Marriage After Meeting Tony and Craig.” Here was Sally’s response.

This is kind of funny, but not very surprising. Seriously, why would we expect Sally Kern to be aware of one of the funniest and greatest websites in the world? The last time Sally Kern probably laughed was when Randy Terrill shared with her some Family Circus cartoon about the Dad forgetting where he parked his car at church.

Also, what’s kind of alarming is that Sally Kern is now aware of the Onion. That’s not good, because now she’ll get some crazy ideas to add to her agenda. And by crazy ideas, I don’t mean cool things like Ninja Parades, I mean scary things like this or this

An Oklahoma City woman fought off a 63-year old home invader by hitting him in the head with a fan. This would have been cooler if it was a ceiling fan or Asian hand fan, because it would have meant the woman had super human strength … but it wasn’t.

• Some girl hit a pedestrian in Edmond. Instead of stopping to see if the pedestrian was okay, the girl said “Oops, my bad” and drove off. Apparently she picked up the term by watching Clark Matthews play church league basketball.

• This guy is charged with sexually assaulting two mentally handicapped and disabled women at an Oklahoma City thrift store. Think about that the next time you go shop for ironic vintage t-shirts to wear to Kamp’s you hipster!

• City Councilman Ed Shadid decided to let everyone know that you don’t fuck with City Councilman Ed Shadid. (via OKCcentral.com)

• The people of Oglebay, West Virginia don’t want Chesapeake to drill at their park. Just so we’re on the same page, we’ll totally let Chesapeake drill for natural gas on The Lost Ogle if the price is right. We love frackin’!