Greetings, gentle travelers. I think the only way you can understand me as a person is if I give you a little background into the woman behind the gentleness. You see, to know me is to know that I’ve spent the majority of my 25 years on this planet looking for a ghost. And like everything else I’ve ventured to due in this quarter century of existence, I have failed. Though, not for lack of trying. You see, I’ve been everywhere that supposedly houses a spirit (The Dominion House, County Line Restaurant, Edmond Central Middle School, the Bizzell Memorial Library at OU, etc.). And that’s why I bring you here to Fort Reno, El Reno today, in hopes of copping some major ghostage.
Fort Reno is an interesting place. It started as a military camp in 1874 during the Indian Wars. During World War II it even served as a work internment camp for German prisoners of War. Overall, it has a stark and scary feel to it, like Shutter Island without a New England accented Leonardo DiCaprio. (Can Scorsese please put Leo in some more movies that require him to talk like he’s from the New England area? I mean, The Departed and Shutter Island just aren’t enough to satisfy this lusty ghost hunter. I know I’m not the only one that feels this way.) Many of the buildings still stand today, and if you’re down with holding your nuptials in El Reno, you can get married at the chapel there at the fort.
Now, as for the ghosty business. There are tours that take place primarily in the spring and fall where you gentle travelers can run around in dark with some paranormal researchers. They’ll tell you stories of restless spirits, unsolved mysteries and murders galore. Then they’ll tell you about all the times that they’ve seen ghosts and what-have-yous running around. This is mainly crap for one major reason. Whilst on this tour, the psychic/medium/owner of a thrift store in the Paseo didn’t call me out once for thinking that she was a hippy fraud. If she were a real psychic, she would’ve known what I was thinking. Or maybe she did know and she was just being polite so she didn’t have to call me out in front of all the weirdos who thought each and every lens flare and dust mote was a legitimate ghost they had just photographed.
Now, I’ll leave you with the coolest story about this place. As mentioned before, German prisoners of war were interned at the fort. Some of them died there. One, named Otto, was buried amongst his fellow Germans. However, during the seventies, some kids came and vandalized his grave by STEALING HIS SKULL O.M.F.G!!!! Ever since, he’s been a little cranky, all haunting up in that place. After the tour is over, you can go kiss his headstone. Though, you have to be careful because he could reach up and try to grab your head and take it down to his grave with him. If you do it without losing your head, you get a free button that says “I survived the Ghosts of Fort Reno Tour.” If you don’t do it, then I call you a pansy to your face.